If the "gh" in "enough" is pronounced as "f" and the "o" in "women" makes the short "i" sound and the "ti" in "nation" is pronounced with the "sh" sound then the word "fish" can be spelled "ghoti" and if the "gh" in "though" is silent along with the "o" in "people" and the "t" in "ballet" along with the "i" in "business" then the word "ghoti" is silent and that means there are no fish. Welcome to the English language, bitches. Sorry saw that on Tumblr and remembered the first time I ever taught spelling class.
Anyway, I'm bummed tonight.
It's filled with Lady Gaga and One Direction cds.
Be careful, dem hoes will bury you one day
I guess that is why I'm so depressed. I am nowhere near Ludacris.
I think Usain Bolt would lose to the majority of these stereotypes I mean characters.
I think I have something to keep me occupied while everyone is having fun with their contests.
It's always fun driving through the Amish settlements and watching the Amish and Amlets using skateboards and inline skates.
Buy One, Get One Free
מדוע אני אפילו לנסות להתיידד באתר זה אין לי שמץ של מושג. אני בספק אם אתה בכלל אכפת. 
Pee Wee always wins just as long as he gets his bike out of storage from the basement at the Alamo.
Synchronized Squirting or Charlie Sheen goddess tryouts?
Revenge is a dish best served cold and covered in parsley.
It's a Scare-Cruise. It keeps closeted Toms away.
I should probably start using that quote on dating sites although I have teeth.
Oh Wonka, you're so funny.
I think we should start protesting that the government legalize plural marriage.
Oh Hank, you're so smart.
I think this guy sees women as nothing more than objects.
Since I can't be a part of any Xanga contest I'm going to do my own. Print this out and color it. Hopefully someone tolerates me.
Maybe I'm glad I don't take part in any of those contests.
Fucking' a, Dude. I'm off to have a Caucasian or three and hopefully by then I'm passed out or lit up so much that I decide to go work on my art project.
Comments (31)
Those two Wonkas should kiss each other.
Happy 1878th. I'm totally bummed that I missed Pee Wee's cycle event. I must remain more alert for the next Ollies.
Don't be depressed! I often wish I could be ludachris.
You forgot to mention that Chuck Norris ran in lane #8 and that he finished the 100 m sprint 10 seconds ahead of everyone else. I don't know why you cut out that little detail. If I were you I'd watch out for Chuck.
1878 posts! Wow!
Oh Utah... Does that mean you've been on Xanga 1,878 days?
aren't you the leader of your own contest? don't scads of people try to find the kind of outrageous things that you seem to find with such ease?
cheating at scrabble at the national level. this is the kind of news i hear without you.
So when I first saw the pic of the museum of medieval torture, I saw the small red sign to the left and thought "hmm, must be a Prague sign" and after a quickie Google search... yes, it IS in Prague! :D In fact, I kinda sorta really want to go to it haha.
I love the Wonka memes. But, the one to take the cake this time has to be the "check your testicles for lumps" pic. The derpy look on that woman's face makes it more funny to me :D
...I actually can't tell if that's a hipster or just an Amish person.
Also, I want to print out the 'I tolerate you' en masse and give it to everyone I know.
i got ghoti...
Is the Jeff Bridges pic from Men Who Stare At Goats? Love that guy, though that movie left much to be desired. Did you see the movie Starman, with Kevin Spacey and him? I don't think it got good reviews, but I liked it. Kevin Spacey is pretty great, too---The Usual Suspects had the best ending ever! Uh oh, my actor/movie mode has been activated!! Must-stop-now
= mind too damn blown to formulate a sensible comment.
:::: electronic fizzing, popping and crackling ::::
wow. good post.
The Dude abides.
Mour phawhn whieth fahnix - "Ph-uh-Q!"
I had to reread that first paragraph twice. I love English, bitch!
I can't remember if I commented. The best so far.
Wow that could make a head spin. No wonder people have a hard time learning our language.
Dude, they all need to stop dissing the vegetarians.
That whooooole first paragraph sounds just like the crap my 9 yo would tell me just to get out of doing school work. Wonka is hilarious! And Road Runner totally wins every race! EVERY RACE!!! I swear he's on his next lap already... he's just that fast!
Charlie Sheen goddess tryouts = LOLLLL
WAY too early in the AM for that first paragraph. Will have to try again later after more coffee
why is your awesomeness never on front page?
I literally spit up my water at the synchronized squirting, oh boy...
Yes that tom green song is great, although it didn't quite reach bum bum song level, that song was epic!
and yea, Bolt would have LOST!! LOST Horribly!
OMG, love the Amish photo.