TMZ.com is reporting that portions of two tracks of Britney Spears' upcoming album have been leaked.  I couldn't resist listening to what Mother Dearest has to sing about these days.

Track 1 threw me off within the first three words.  I do think this track is Britney singing but it feels like it isn't because the singer is coherent.  I just don't know what to think.  It actually sounds like it could be a hit and I hate to admit that.

Track 2 does not sound like Britney whatsoever.  If it is they had to speed up her vocals because I just can't imagine she can hit some of those notes.  Listening to this song all I could think was Britney dancing around with orange skin and green hair.  To me this song sounds like maybe Brit is channeling her inner Willy Wonka and dedicating the album to the Oompa Loompas.  Why is it that I can actually see Britney believing there are such things as Oompa Loompas? 

Britney has expressed that she wants everyone to be shocked by her next album and her upcoming VMA performance.  Hmmm....hasn't she shocked us with her wardrobe and lack of parenting skills?  Oh, I guess that kind of shock doesn't sell albums but makes people think she is crazy.  Crazy enough to wear something like this in public:

First off let me start by saying that in one of my previous postings I posted some links and warned people not to go there.  Well in case you are wondering if you should open Pandorra's box and visit the sites I will tell you what they were.  The first link was some random women from a magazine from the UK posing topless.  The second post was of a rather well endowed female bouncing up and down.  The third link was a video of porn star Crave aka Jaimee Foxworth who played Judy Winslow on Family Matters.  Yes, that is a good one.

It's Thursday...that means CRAPPY TATTOO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!
(may contain some nudity)

One of the most recent trends in tattooing has been Chinese symbols.  I really don't think that people should get Chinese symbols unless they can read the symbol.  I have heard of American tourists going to China and getting these symbols thinking they are saying strength or wisdom or some other attribute the person supposedly possesses, but the tattoo artist actually tattoos a symbol meaning pervert, stupid, or retarded. By the way I thought this symbol was funny because it means Chinese symbol.

I thought this was a pretty cool tattoo until I learned it wasn't a tattoo.  This is a skin carving.  There is a new movement in which people are getting shapes and pictures like the one above carved into their skin with the hopes of it scarring.  I think this is even dumber than tattoos.

This little tattoo, well it makes me chuckle every time.

I think Bugs Bunny should have washed his hands before eating that carrot seeing what hole he is coming out of. 

Oh it is so bad.  Why do people feel it necessary to tattoo things like this on their bodies.  Can you imagine what this will look like in 10 years? 20 years? 30 years?  Also would women go for a guy with a tattoo like this?  Sad thing is I bet they would, well sorority skanks will but real women like what I want wouldn't.

More sex tattoos.  In all the years of watching Gumby I never remember this episode nor do I remember Gumby having junk.  I think he was naked in that show because he never wore clothes but he had no jimmy jammer.  I guess I now fully understand how Pokey got his name, and it isn't just because he is slow.

This tattoo fully sums up U.S. foreign policy.  Thanks, Steve-O.

Ah, another classic belly button involved tattoo.  I began thinking about what this person would have to say about this tattoo in 20 years.  I think The Simpsons have become so iconic that if people see this tattoo in 20 years they won't have to ask who that is. 

Oh no! Wolverine is shredding through that guy's leg and he is going to get me.  Wait, that is just a nerdy tattoo.

I love arm band barbwire tattoos.  This is the best tattoo ever.  Combining two of my favorite things.  I want to break out in song:  WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS 

So can you point out the homosexual subtext to this tattoo?

This one is pretty clever.  If I didn't have such horrible skin I would go out and get one similar to this.  I would also have to find someone to thank....now I'm depressed.  Have a good day.