I am going to leave the nude starlets alone for today and focus on the things that I have always wanted but can never have.  If you don't know this about me, well here goes.  I am allergic to the ink they use for tattoos.  I have horrible skin and have many skin allergies.  I can only use certain laundry detergents and bath soaps.  I don't sunburn easily but when I do sunburn I get sick.  On July 4th I got sunburn and later in that evening I was sniffling and suffering from drainage.  I think this all goes back to the fact that I had chicken pox three times as a child.  Well, enough about me, lets look at some crappy tattoos.

Oh my god, there is an octopus coming out of that girl's butt.  Eww!

Ok, this whole thing about doing your mom has gotten a little old.  It almost looks like this guy got the pedestrian crossing people having sex tattooed on his arm.  This is wrong.

I just don't understand.  I never had Legos as a child.  I had Tyco Blocks.  They were the cheap knockoffs.  I had the military collection.  There were only two colors: olive and black.  No cool interchangeable people came with my set.  If I wanted a cool Lego man I would have to build one out of Tyco blocks.  I don't think I have totally tapped into my creative side because I never had Legos and Tyco Blocks were subpar.  I should go see a shrink to discuss all this.

Crayola tattoos sure suck.  They only have one color.  I hope this person didn't pay to have an array of colors. 

Never have I hated Pacman as much as I do now.

I like waffles, but there is no way in hell I would tattoo a waffle on my arm. 

I can think of one thing that you should regret.

Speaking of regrets.  Family Matters marathon+case of beer=horrible Steve Urkel tattoo.  Why?  The show wasn't that great.  It doesn't deserve to live on especially in tattoo form.

Another one of those "creative" pseudo-vagina tattoos.  This guy is so smug.  I can see him picking up girls with that tattoo while I have to suffer and drink my drinks alone.  Maybe I will get some markers and draw some vaginas on me and then he'll see.

Can you guess you guess what this tattoo means?  I was thinking "choked chicken" but oh no.  It is on the guy's knee.  It says, hung cock below the knee.  Funny, but still crappy.

This one goes along the same as the waffle tattoo.  Potato?  I love potatoes but as a tattoo.  That has to be one of the biggest wastes of money I have seen in tattoo form.  Oh by the way, guy, you need to do something with the untamed growth.

Mathlete+(nattylitex30)-(inhibitions)= this tattoo.  I was trying to solve for a but I no longer do algebra. 

Hope you enjoyed this posting even if there aren't any naked celebrities.  I will now scour the net for more Vanessa Hudgens photos.