Well I have decided to go back to my old ways and do a good old-fashioned celebrity round-up.  I am getting over heart break even though I wasn't really dating anyone but I just figured out I am not worthy to date anyone.  Well in ways I feel better off than these people except for the fact that they make piles of money and have steamy love affairs.  I better get on before I get depressed.

She still isn't pregnant.  I don't understand why she is trying to keep it a mystery because she isn't doing a good job concealing it.  I guess I understand it is tough being a celebrity and maybe announcing that X-stina is pregnant would not be good for her health.  What do I know, I'm just a blogger.

WOW.  She looks better now.  Oh Nicole Richie.  I am going to start worshipping you.  Do not take off the weight.  DO NOT TAKE OFF THE WEIGHT!

So this week Texas Tech is playing Texas A&M.  Texas Tech students started circulating this t-shirt around campus depicting Michael Vick hanging Texas A&M's mascot.  Texas Tech officials were appalled.  Sometimes rivalries can go too far.  Michael Vick has now become an official pop culture reference.

Prince Harry getting down.  You know he is in the military and he is British so what do you expect?  Apparently a group of his friends did vodka shots off each other and they were all guys.  Remember the movie Braveheart when Edward the Longshanks threw his son's gay lover out of the window.  Maybe something like that is on the horizon in Britain.

Anna Kournicova is still trying to remain relevant.  Seriously, besides being ridiculously hot what has she ever done?  Tennis player, you say, to which I reply she never won a single major event and I don't think she ever made it to any finals in the major events.  Oh yes, I forgot she married Enrique Englesias.  What has he ever done besides a couple of pop songs?  Oh yeah, he bagged Anna with his small penis.  Apparently he is very small and I guess it makes me feel better if he can keep her.

Scarlet Johannson is photographed attempting to be low-key.

I Love New York 2 premiered on VH-1 this week and New York(Tiffany Pollard) premiered her new chest.  I know in the past I have said that I don't care what size a woman's breasts are because they are the true measure of a woman but DAMN those are too much.  I did have the chance to watch the first episode and I was amazed because I didn't think they could get that many people carrying stds in one place.  One contestant mentioned her breast surgery and she became defensive like the surgery never took place.  WTF!  If I ever go boating I want to take New York as my personal floatation device.  Hell she should be given free airline tickets because if the plane goes down all the other passengers could be saved by her if they crashed in the ocean.  I can't stop this.  If they sink her she could probably help raise the Titanic with her titanic twins.

ALIEN SEX CREATURES HAVE INVADED.  Do not stare at their nipples otherwise you will be forced to have inane conversations about soccer and modeling and Spice Girls reunion tours.

Britney should know by now that she needs to wear underwear.  These pics won't help her get custody of her kids.

So Britney is running out of money because of her extravagant spending sprees and addiction to numerous things such as Starbucks coffee.  Hell, Starbucks nearly wiped out my life savings while i was in college.  She hasn't put out an album in a long time and she is rushing release of her next so it will probably be a lot of crap but in the meantime she has applied for a new job.  Britney is going to be a bartender at an undisclosed hotel in Beverly Hills.  Britney was one of the biggest stars and sex symbols in our time and now she is going to be slinging suds and mixing martinis.  Many people say her downfall was Kevin Federline.  I differ.  Her downfall was her movie Crossroads.  No matter what you say that movie was a piece of shit and she has never recovered.  I once had a guy pick a fight with me over that movie.  I was standing in line at a video store and he and his significant other saw a poster and said it was a good movie and I started to laugh.  He asked what was funny and I said that they said the stupidest thing I have ever heard.  He asked me if I wanted to go.  I said that if he really wanted to hurt me he would force me to watch Crossroads again.  He threw his movies on the floor and walked out.  His s.o. called me an asshole to which I replied I may be an asshole but at least I have taste in movies.  I then realized I was holding an American Pie video.

Britney doing her best Hunter S. Thompson impression. 

Brooke Hogan has become my favorite female impersonator.

Charlize Theron was named the most attractive female by Esquire magazine.  Remind me never to buy Esquire.

JLo is pregnant.  Pregnant with twins.  I hope they aren't anything like their mother. 

George Clooney was recently photographed holding a Liberator.  What a good advertisement for that company!  What is a Liberator you ask, check it out here.  Can anyone guess which one I want?

For no reason, here's Fred Durst.