Saturday Night Live has been looking pretty good this season.  Too bad I haven't been watching.  Thank God for youtube.

Even though this is from last season, I think it is one of the funniest SNL skits in the past few years.

I hope I am not the only person that saw and heard this tonight.  During pregame of The Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears game a sideline reporter interviewed Deanna Favre about this being Breast Cancer Awareness month in the NFL.  Deanna talked about all she has overcome as a survivor of breast cancer and then this is when it got weird.  I swear she said, "I guess then I'm lucky to be married to a football player and having everyone talk about my tits."  There was a brief silence and then the reporter sent it back to the booth.  I was speechless.

Here's a limerick they didn't teach you in grade school or least I didn't learn it until yesterday:
“I like anal sex, if you please”
Said Ginger while down on her knees
“I’m firm and I’m tight,
I’m an utter delight!
And I promise that I won’t cut the cheese!”

So how are you doing?  That is good, that is really good to hear.  I am so thankful at least one of us has things going good for them.  What?  No, I really don't want to get into it.  Just forget I said anything.  Really, I don't want to talk about.  OK, I'll tell you if you let go of my nipples.  Alright.
I have been suffering from being alone the past few...days...ok, in reality it might be years even though I have had companions I never really had that deep meaningful relationship.  When I have found someone it always blows up in my face and anyway it just really sucks.  So I decided to check out one of those online dating sites.  The one that I see advertised on tv is eharmony.  I gave it a try.  Filled out countless questions and set up the profile.  I was thinking hmmm maybe this will help me because these questions are pretty in-depth.  Well, finally I submitted my photo.  They said they had to review my profile and would let me know if I was accepted within 24 hours.  Today I received notification that I was not accepted.  I wrote back and asked why I was rejected.  I received another email telling me that my physical stature would not meet female users requirements.  Basically it meant I was not good looking enough.  I don't really know how to react.  I know that I am not a GQ model but I have always carried myself with some dignity but I guess not anymore. 
I think I am going to just take some time off and see whether or not it is worth it to continue on.  I have been experiencing other problems lately but I won't go into them now. 

10. Gladiator (In the Ring)

Maximus is a powerful Roman general, loved by the people and the aging Emperor, Marcus Aurelius.
Before his death, the Emperor chooses Maximus to be his heir over his
own son, Commodus, and a power struggle leaves Maximus and his family
condemned to death. The powerful general is unable to save his family,
and his loss of will allows him to get captured and put into the
Gladiator games until he dies. The only desire that fuels him now is
the chance to rise to the top so that he will be able to look into the
eyes of the man who will feel his revenge. In this scene, Maximus takes
on centurions and man-eating tigers.

9. The Departed (The Elevator Scene)

Two just-graduated officers from Massachusetts State Police
Academy follow opposite sides of the law: William Costigan is assigned
to work undercover with the Irish mobster Frank Costello to get
evidences to arrest him. His true identity is only known by his
superiors Dignam and Oliver Queenan. The protégée of Costello, Colin
Sullivan, is promoted in the Massachusetts State Police and is the
informer of Costello. Each police officer gives his best effort trying
to disclose the identity of the other “rat”. In this scene, the two
“rats” share an elevator ride you will never forget.

8. Pulp Fiction (Poor Marvin)

Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega
are two hitmen who are out to retrieve a suitcase stolen from their
employer, mob boss Marsellus Wallace. Wallace has also asked Vincent to
take his wife Mia out a few days later when Wallace himself will be out
of town. Butch Coolidge is an aging boxer who is paid by Wallace to
lose his next fight. The lives of these seemingly unrelated people are
woven together comprising of a series of funny, bizarre and
uncalled-for incidents. In this scene, Jules and Vincent are taking
Marvin back to see the boss. It’s brief - but cool.

7. Fight Club (Parking Garage)

A ticking-time-bomb insomniac and a slippery soap salesman channel
primal male aggression into a shocking new form of therapy. Their
concept catches on, with underground “fight clubs” forming in every
town, until an eccentric gets in the way and ignites an out-of-control
spiral toward oblivion. Here we see our two main characters duking it
out in a parking garage.

6. Natural Born Killers (Mallory Dances)

The misadventures of Mickey and Mallory: outcasts, lovers, and serial
killers. They travel across Route 666 conducting psychadelic
mass-slaughters not for money, not for revenge, just for kicks.
Glorified by the media, the pair become legendary folk heroes; their
story told by the single person they leave alive at the scene of each
of their slaughters. Here we see Mallory dancing to a jukebox when a
guy decides to join her… big mistake.

5. American Psycho (Huey Lewis)

Patrick Bateman
is handsome, well educated and intelligent. He is twenty-seven and
living his own American dream. He works by day on Wall Street, earning
a fortune to complement the one he was born with. At night he descends
into madness, as he experiments with fear and violence. In this scene,
Patrick explains the nuances of Huey Lewis to Paul Allen. We also get to hear Christian Bale doing a great American accent too (he is Welsh).

4. Kill Bill (The Bride versus the Crazy 88)

“The Bride” was once part of a group of world class female assassins,
until the group leader, “Bill” and the other assassins turn against
her. Four years later “The Bride” awakens from the coma the assassins
left her in and heads out to seek bloody revenge. Unlike conventional
movies, Kill Bill
is told in chapter format making the narrative flow more like a book
than a film. In this scene, The Bride takes on the gang of the Crazy 88
in spectacular fashion.3. Alien (The famous one)

When commercial towing vehicle Nostromo, heading back to Earth,
intercepts an SoS signal from a nearby planet, the crew are under
obligation to investigate. After a bad landing on the planet, some crew
members leave the ship to explore the area. At the same time as they
discover a hive colony of some unknown creature, the ship’s computer
deciphers the message to be a warning, not a call for help. When one of
the eggs is disturbed, the crew do not know the danger they are in
until it is too late. This is probably the most famous scene from Alien
- it needs no further introduction.

2. Clockwork Orange (Billy’s Gang)

In a futuristic Britain, a gang of teenagers go on the rampage every
night, beating and raping helpless victims. After one of the boys
quells an uprising in the gang, they knock him out and leave him for
the police to find. He agrees to try “aversion therapy” to shorten his
jail sentence. When he is eventually let out, he hates violence, but
the rest of his gang members are still after him. In this scene, Alex
and his droogs meet up with Billy’s gang.

1. Psycho (Shower Scene)

Phoenix officeworker Marion Crane is fed up with the way life has
treated her. She has to meet her lover Sam in lunch breaks and they
cannot get married because Sam has to give most of his money away in
alimony. One Friday Marion is trusted to bank $40,000 by her employer.
Seeing the opportunity to take the money and start a new life, Marion
leaves town and heads towards Sam’s California store. Tired after the
long drive and caught in a storm, she gets off the main highway and
pulls into The Bates Motel. The motel is managed by a quiet young man
called Norman who seems to be dominated by his mother. This is one of
the most famous scenes from any horror movie in history.

I feel like Michael Corleone.  These past few days I have been feeling better with my bout with the flu.  I think I finally got over it on Saturday.  The downside is now I am suffering from a new illness that I don't care to talk about because it is personal.  Anyway I just can't sit because of the pain.  Ok, back to the Michael Corleone thing; just when I think I am healthy I get pulled back into being sick.  Ok, maybe it isn't a legitimate comparison but it is a comparison nonetheless.  

Time for celebrity round-up.

Carrot Top really hasn't been in the news lately but I am just freaked out by him.  I really didn't notice that big of change from a few years ago until now.  He looks like he is trying to become a masculine woman.  Overall he still is a douche bag.

I think he is on steroids and trying to become a Thunder Cat or at least pre-audition for the inevitable live-action film because we all know Hollywood is out of original ideas and are now resting on the laurels of remakes of 80s cartoons.  Please remake MASK!

Where do I start with this train wreck?  First she learns that she is being charged with misdemeanor crimes and may face jail time.  Then it is revealed that she has been doing all this driving without a valid driver's license.  You would think that one of her handlers would have mentioned to her that she needed a driver's license to drive a car.  Then after hearing all that bad news Britney is reportedly seen hanging out in night clubs laughing it up and inviting paparazzi members into bathroom stalls for "interviews".  Then a former security guard comes forward with his tales of her drug abuse, alcohol abuse, bleaching her kids' teeth, and her nudity in front of staff members and her children.  Oh it doesn't end here, no, a county commissioner ordered Britney to meet with a drug counselor but she never went.  He ordered her to submit to drug testing and she has yet to acquiesce.  Another ruling was that Britney enroll in parenting classes but apparently the mother of the year candidate felt like she didn't need classes so she never enrolled.  Britney was also ordered to sign the judge's order to acknowledge that she read and understood the rulings but guess what, she never signed the document.  So after seeing Britney driving around without a care in the world and living it up at night clubs the judge ordered her children taken from her and the custody given to K-Fed for an amount of time yet to be determined by the court.  That happened yesterday afternoon.  So what does Britney do yesterday evening?  When asked about losing her custody of her children all Britney could talk about was getting her license.  Oh and she decided to get out of her house and checked into a 5 star Beverly Hills hotel.  What the hell is wrong with her?  I know she hasn't hit rock bottom yet because she is too stupid to realize what rock bottom is.  All I know is that this will not end pretty and I think the things that have been discussed about her behavior are just the tip of the iceberg.

Here we see Britney being reminded by her assistant that she can't take a margarita with her in her car.  Hmmm, maybe if Britney took a driver's ed course she would have learned that little fact.

Rehab is actually doing good for Lindsey Lohan.  Well she has put on some weight and has some nice junk in her trunk as the rappers say.  Well she traded lines of coke for cock I guess.  Apparently Ms. Lohan is getting it on with some of the other rehabbers and one of their wives has filed for divorce and Lindsey has been named as one of the reasons for divorce.  Well, at least she is off the drugs.

Yeah Lindsey should stick to playing with boxes.

Paris is dating a Swedish pizza delivery boy.  What the hell? 

X-Tina still hasn't admitted to being pregnant.  Maybe she doesn't know.  She does look better now than she did when she went through her dirrrrty phase.

Heidi Montag before and after plastic surgery.  Women, truthfully size doesn't matter.  Leave your breasts alone.  I have the same anxiety but I use what I have.  Be proud of yourselves.  Use your personality and your smarts and trust me that will get you more men than artificial knockers.

Jack Bauer is a drunk just like his higher ups in Washington

Yummy, Sienna Miller.  I think I will watch this movie when it comes out just based on this picture.

Until next time, pray for Britney's kids.