Had to go to the doctor this morning.  I was having trouble breathing.  I got down there and started feeling better but it turns out that I have pretty bad asthma and need to be on inhalers but maybe only during the winter because that is when I have most of my problems.  It is nice to have the inhalers helping out.  I think it is time to look at the lives of celebrities who may be worse off than I am.

So Dog the Bounty Hunter's fifteen minutes of fame are now officially over.  The National Enquirer obtained an 11 minute audio tape of a phone conversation between the Dog and his son in which Dog tells his son that he must break up with his girlfriend because she is of African descent.  Apparently, Dog didn't want her to be around during the taping of the show because he sometimes uses the N-word and wouldn't want her to hear it and then tell the Enquirer.  Strange.  He doesn't want her to hear him use the N-word and it get to the Enquirer and yet somehow the Enquirer has the tape.  Dog is screwed.  A&E has just released this statement:  "A&E has just learned of
the story released by the National Enquirer concerning Duane Dog
Chapman. We take this matter very seriously. Pending an investigation,
we have suspended production on the series. When the inquiry is
concluded we will take appropriate action."  If you really want to hear him drop the N-word like 50 times go here.  Be warned, I consider this worse than Michael Richards.

So why does Kim Kardashian matter?  Here she is doing what every 27 year old does on their birthday: table dancing at a night club.  Hopefully she and Dog get together and well just go away.

Saw this promoting a Halloween fest.  I thought it was funny because Fergie is somewhat scary especially when she comes at you with her wet pants.

Wow, Elizabeth Hurley still has it, well she doesn't have a tan but she looks good.

Mena Suvari sans shirt and sans hair.  I don't know why more women don't shave their heads because this look is totally hot.  Maybe it is just because she is topless but her hair is beautiful.

Here is Britney on Halloween. I know I have made comments about her in the past saying how much I would like to "get with" her.  Not anymore.  She looks like she had a hard time deciding what to pull out of her dirty clothes pile.  I bet I put more thoughts into which pair of shoes I should wear this morning than she put into this ridiculous outfit.  For some reason and knowing Brtiney's track record, I bet she has no underwear.  Seriously, this is the type of crap she wears in public when she is trying to gain custody of her kids.  She is being tested for drugs twice a week or at least she was because now she has stopped.  A court appointed parenting coach said that her household is chaotic.  Wasn't that the name of the show her and K-Fed had where they basically videotaped their children's conception?  The coach also said that when the kids were with Britney she had little contact with them. Why does she even try?  It's like she is viewing her kids as little purse dogs.  A reporter asked her how court was going and Britney replied, "Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!"  I guess Britney never wants to see her children again. Oh yeah Britney dropped a new album this week.  Who bought it?  (crickets).  She named it Blackout, which has led to some controversy. Apparently she took the name from a nightclub owned by the daughter of NFL coach Wade Phillips.  A lawsuit is pending.  OK now is where it is strange.  Wade Phillips is head coach of the Dallas Cowboys and earlier in the week Britney was reportedly seen giving Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo a lapdance, which happened to be a day after he signed a $68 million contract extension.  
Enough Britney, here's Coco.

So fine.
It was Halloween this week and here are three of my favorite celebrity costumes.

Kate Beckinsale
  
Heidi Klum

Paris Hilton.  AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I am trying not to say anything but she apparently says that by wearing this costume it is her way to show her support for the troops.  Whatever you do, do not enlarge this photo and look at her creepy eyes.

So what else is going on?  Owen Wilson is reportedly dating Jessica Simpson.  For a guy who just tried to kill himself I can't believe he is trying to date her.  Maybe he is just trying to finish the job or lick her butt for hours on end.  

Lance Armstrong has traded up apparently after dumping Sheryl Crow and some fashion designer.  He was recently seen making out in a resturant with Ashley Olson.  She's 21, he's 36.  Isn't he old enough to be a guy who is too old to date her?

Uncle Don Vito is going to jail.  Somehow Bam will never be the same.  Maybe MTV will have a new reality series on their hands.  Vito could be going away for 12 years.

I guess doing stuff like this will get a guy arrested and convicted especially if those girls are under 15.

Hayden Panettiere went to Japan to protest the killing of dolphins.  She didn't stop them from killing dolphins but she did accomplish looking adorable.

Until next time.