Good afternoon.  How are you doing?  Really? Well that sucks.  I hope that all works out for you.

Are you ready for some truth in advertising?  OK, well you know right now I can't help you with your problems because I am going to try to be funny.  Well, maybe if you read then you might chuckle and it can temporarily cheer you up.  OK?  I am going to start.  You know you should get a kleenex.  Alright I am starting.

I have been silent on the NFL controversy that is known as Spygate.  I have been silent because I have just assumed that the Patriots weren't the first team to videotape signals for their own use.  The only thing I have to say is that I have no respect for Bill Belicheck and do not think he should be considered hall of fame material.  If he gets inducted then so should Adam "Pacman" Jones. 

I have often wondered what Jew Ear Fungus tasted like.  This is just up my alley because it can be made in an instant.  Man, I am gross.  You thought I wanted to eat ear fungus.  I am just intrigued by this product.  I hear it is very popular in Germany.

You may need to enlarge this accurate description of Denny's products.  mmmm Denny's sounds so good right now.

Like it is really used to massage necks.  I was always shocked by these ads in my old comic books and wrestling magazines.  Why is it an old man?  I would be more comfortable with a woman demonstrating using the vibrator.  Oh yeah.

Whatever you do, don't do a google search for Tubgirl.

This is a creepy Lysol ad about feminine hygiene.  I always thought that Lysol was a product used to clean floors and kill germs not as a feminine product.  Oh well they used to use Benzene as an aftershave.  If you enlarge the ad read it.  The 50s were so against women.  Apparently this ad says that when the passion runs out of a marriage it is the woman's fault.  Wow, I can never be to blame.  All my relationships ended because of her.  Alright I love the 50s.  Wait, I don't think I would have loved not having a vaccine for polio and I like my car and I am taking sensitivity courses so the 50s suck.  Boo 50s.

Yes, it is true.  Sometimes I feel unfresh down there and I apply Johnson's Baby Powder.  I should so be a spokesmen.

It seems like that is what most digital cameras are truly used for.  I know I have some shame recorded somewhere of my antics.

Hey, those are cool and dry.  Score.

Most offensive drink ever.

Why is it that whenever I drink coffee I sweat or at least get all hot?  Oh I just had a cup not so long ago.  I am going to have to put this blog on hold for a few minutes.

Ok, all better.  This is why I do not drink Budweiser.

So Brett Favre is a black man?

When you are the oldest family owned and operated brewery in America, you can get away with a lot.

Hope your evening is more enjoyable than mine.