It has been a week since I last talked about the sordid lives of celebrities.  It is hard to believe that time has flown.  We have had over a foot of snow in that time period.  Well it is time to heat things up.

I am saluting America in my own private way. Hayden is my hero.

Can you believe this crazy bitch is 26?  Only 26?   Her birthday was this week and this is a picture of her excitement at her birthday party.  She looks retarded, oh wait I should change that looks to is.  Recently she has been spotted shopping for a new house because her current home is so disgusting that it would be simpler to just buy a new house then clean the old.  Also, Britney is hiring a body double for photo shoots.  Britney knows she is losing her body and she could possibly be pregnant again so I guess by hiring a double she is just covering her bases.  They should just hire Porky Pig and get it over with.

I hope X-tina's kid isn't as messed up as Britney's.  Seriously her child is going to have conflicts when he sees pictures of his mother.  She is gorgeous.

Ever wonder what happened to Cindy Crawford?  Well here she is and I am still wondering.  To think how many used tissues and fired knuckle children I had during her days as a model.  Well I could be the leader of a small nation.

Ever wonder what happened to Pink?  Well I need to remember what happened to her more often.

Good new reality show fans.  Dale from Top Chef is dating Jack from Project Runway.  Gay jokes aside, isn't that reality show incest?  Ok, gay joke, who would have thought that two guys, who were contestants on two seperate shows that are marketed for homosexuals on a network that is marketed for homosexuals, would wind up dating?  It really boggles the mind.

A sad bit of news this week, the creator of Gatorade, Robert Cade passed away.  Here he is given a proper send-off.

Heather Mills-McCartney has denied that she posed for porn and then these photos surfaced.  Now that Paul has divorced her and she isn't getting any alimony because of these photos, well she won't be left with a leg to stand on....oh that is a bad pun and by the way Sploshing is just plain wrong.

What do you get when you have incredibly long legs and a short skirt?  Well you get an additional few minutes of fame if you are Stacy Keibler.

So Paris Hilton got a lip job.   She looks like she is in her 50s now.  I guess jail really hardened her.

Remember Juliette Lewis?  Yeah she is looking pretty good.  Reminds me of a sober amy Winehouse without a bouffant hairdo.  

Can you guess the Ass?  This ass belongs to someone who got a show on E! because of her sextape.  No it's not Paris Hilton.  It is Kim Kardashian.  Will you look at that thing!  It likely has it's own gravitational pull.  I am surprised she doesn't have anything orbiting her ass.
 
How can she live with herself?

Remember Katie Price?  She is some model in Britain and goes by numerous names.  Well this week because people weren't talking about her she decided to create a little buzz.  That is her sister.  Yes, making out with your sister definitely will generate a little buzz.  

Keira Knightley has posed topless for a magazine cover.  Apparently it is still considered topless even though she has suspenders covering her lady bits.  Some people made jokes about how the suspenders were larger than her breasts.  I applaud Keira.  I think she is beautiful and besides size doesn't matter.  Now if I could just get some ladies to go along with my philosophy.

Porn star, Mary Cary has removed her silicone implants and plans on auctioning them on ebay.  Ok ok ok ok wait up, she had them removed?????????  Holy crap.  Just when I say size doesn't matter I see this.  See she looks great without her implants.  I plan on bidding for the implants because that way when I win I will own something that has been inside her...ok I am still accepting job offers to be a scab writer.  Also this is the porn star that music pseudo-pon star Mariah Carey sued because she claims that Cary was using Carey's name to gain popularity.  Well she may have had a similar name because they do look alike but she definitely wasn't using her name to gain fame.
 
Jodie Foster basically came out of the closet recently by saying how much her friend Cyndy has been there for her.  Who would have thought Jodie Foster was gay?  Even after all thouse anti-men movies she in which she has starred, I couldn't see the writing on the wall.  

Funny Tara Reid sighting.  Apparently Tara Reid isn't a hot commodity anymore.  She was traveling in Australia and a night club wanted her to come to the club to promote a buzz...a STD is more like it...anyway Tara said for her to come the club would have to pay her $25,000.  The club owners laughed and said how about $3500.  Guess Tara took them up on the offer.  I wonder what Tara would do if I offered to pick up the check after a meal.  If you said infect me with a plethora of STDs you are correct.

Lindsay Lohan hasn't been able to find a lot of work since getting out of rehab.  I guess studio bosses realize that she is too unpredictable to have star in their movies.  So this is what we get.  Lindsay posing with superheroes oggling her chest.  This writer's strike is starting to hurt the stars.  Look what Lindsay has to endure.  Oh well it's not like if she had a movie role she wouldn't just snort up any money she did make.

Good news: more snow.  Have a good weekend.