Brother Ali returns to Madison on 2/29 at the High Noon Saloon.
Oh it is getting cold. I went outside to do some work on my car and I had to wear about three layers. At least I didn't have an asthma attack this time. I guess this is the weather that seperates Wisconsin from the rest of the country but the first deep freeze is the hardest. Thankfully it won't last long, just long enough to make Eli Manning freeze up on the hallowed grounds of Lambeau Field. I do want to warn my friends out there who are planning on a Bockfest trip that if the Packers win Sunday, I will not be traveling to Minnesota because that is the same weekend as the Super Bowl. Anyway time for a celebrity round up.
X-tina gave birth to her first child this weekend, a boy named Max Liron. There are no photos of the baby yet.
Nicole Richie gave birth to a girl this weekend named Harlow Winter. Yes, that name is correct. Why is it that celebrates give their children these absurd names? Harlow? Apple? Fifi-Trixiebelle? Indiana? Moxie Crimefighter? OK, don't believe me look those names up. NO this isn't the baby but well I can just imagine it is close. 
I get it....Tara Reid is a zombie.
Scarlet Johanson thinks she is a singer. She is on a tribute album to Tom Waits and she is releasing a solo album. I have been really getting into Tom Waits the past few months and well when I heard this I wanted to jam pencils into my ear drums. Maybe I will stick with Dogstar and that one with the guy who got his ass kicked in Fight Club and Bruce Willis had a decent blues band, but I think she should stick to being the cute sidekick ala Ghost World.
Rachael Ray is a spokesperson for Dunkin Donuts. At the recent taping of one of her ads to promote their coffee, after the cameras were done rolling Rachael tasted the Dunkin Donuts coffee, spit it out, and started screaming, "What is this shit! Get MY coffee!" She then resumed snapping at everyone and refused to do anymore work until she had her own coffee from Starbucks. When I say her own coffee I mean they make a special blend. Tall, double soy, caramel machiato, half caff, a twist of asshole, and a pinch of the c-word. You know for a woman who admits she is constantly battling her weight, is calorie filled Starbucks the best place to get a coffee fix? She should try one of Emril's famous protein shakes, BAM! Ok sex jokes aside; I walked in on my dad once watching Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals and he was oohing and aahing and then he said, "Thanks, Rachael, you are the best!" Yes, it is sad because he then kissed the cover of her book. I think I liked him better when he was reading porn all the time.
Pink looks sad. I wonder if she lost the audition to play Liza Minnelli.
This is a photo from Paris Hilton's recent photoshoot for Fila. I think she is treating this photoshoot as if it were a sex tape because well I think the sex tape is the only thing that people have enjoyed that features her acting.
Oprah Winfrey is starting her very own network. She will be taking over the Discovery Health channel and I think the netowrk will be called OWN(Oprah Winfrey's Network). People, Revelations is being fulfilled. The seeds of the Antichrist have been sown.
So everyone's favorite whore...I mean reality star, New York is rumored to be the star of a sex tape. Are you really surprised? I have viewed the tape and yes my retinas are still entact and no I do not have any transmitted diseases. I guess I am not at all surprised by this because wasn't her career heading this way and isn't I Love New york nothing more than a 10 week soft core porno? VH-1 has said that it is not New York. The controversy lies in the timing of the ummm "deed". The guy came forward with the tape and said it occured 2 months ago....2 months ago the show was finished and she had picked Tailor Made and the guy in the tape is not him. I guess all of this could be leading to Tailor Made leavning New York and lucky us get to see another season of I Love New York. If you want to see the tape go here but be warned it is 3 minutes of your life you will never get back. Hahahaha...3 minutes...I think a lot of women wish they had 3 minutes of their lives back at some point.
Here's a recent photo of Natalie Imbruligia in a bikini. I wonder if this photo was released 10 years ago, if her career would have taken off because that is the society we live in...look what it did for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.
Matthew McConaughey announced this week that he is going to be a father. Seriously, is birth control illegal in California?
Wow, Lindsay Lohan actually is looking better.
Fergie is now pregnant. Please somebody stop the insanity. Where is Susan Powter when you need her?(lame 80s reference, sorry)
So Lily Allen lied about being pregnant and sadly I have to say she suffered a miscarriage. Sad story. I know I often talk about birth control and I am sure nothing can be sadder in the world than losing a child. So my deepest sympathies go out to Lily and her boyfriend.
Here is Yoko Ono...I mean Jessica Simpson. She is the real reason the Cowboys lost last weekend. She was such a huge distract and I think every show that analyzed the Cowboys/Giants game last week brought her up and said she wasn't going to be a distraction but I guess she was. No sweat off my back, just hopefully she remains with tony all of next season and she releases no more music or movies.
Jenna Jameson announced that she is officially retired from porn. Thank goodness, I mean look at her, something is wrong.
One Hayden Two Cups.
Clay Aiken was introduced as a member of Spamalot. Clay made some startling announcements. He thought Monty Python was a real person and no he's not gay. He was asked repeatedly by reporters. No he's no gay even though he has cyber sex with men and has a profile on a personal site for gay men. hmmm maybe he is jsut flamboyant in a Liberace way.
Britney, fishnets are not a replacement for underwear.
Britney Spears and her papparazi boyfriend were seen shopping for pregnancy tests this week. Just what she needs in her life. I mean medical files are being released and are saying that she may be suffering from multiple personalities. You know you think you feel sorry for her and then she does something assinine like letting her manager go on Ryan Seacrest's radio show and having him talk about how she was naked and then she screams I am smelly repeatedly.
In other Britney news, the Associated Press announced that they have written Britney's obituary for a just in case measure.
Also, those nude pics of Britney aren't selling. I have a source at a magazine, Britney. Dog Fancy is in need of a centerfold for next month's issue....let me know if you are interested.
Finally, this week Brad Renfro passed away. He was in a couple good movies, The Client and Apt Pupil, but his career was doomed by drug use. Hopefully the young stars of Hollywood see his death as a wake up call.
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