It is getting cold as in subzero temperatures and we are supposed to get another major does of snow tonight and tomorrow.  These are reasons why I need to get south during the winter.  Oh well some day maybe.  Until then I plan on making a super-update.

When I saw the words, "This is it," that is what popped into my head right away.  I mean you hear the name Tiger-Man and you are expecting some strapping superhero and not Charles Nelson Reilly looking guy prancing around on all fours.  Apparently he is the new exciting superhero, well let's just say there aren't many kids out there today mimicking Tiger-Man.


I'm kind of surprised that Captain Carrot can get away with dissing
anyone on its cover. I mean c'mon... It's a super hero rabbit.

See, even Supergirl gets irrational once a month.  I wonder if she has to use kryptonite feminine products.

I think these comic books were the downfall of Sega.  They just couldn't keep up with Nintendo's Captain Power cartoon show.

The Planet of the Apes meets Alien Nation....could this be the best or worst crossover ever?

Stand in helpless awe of The Invincible Man's penis...every time I see this cover I just get the feeling that the Fantastic Four are paralyzed in fear by this guy's schlong.  I mean look at the Thing.  It's like he is trying to reach out and grab salvation.  Oh and don't you think Reid Richards could stretch his because he is made of elastic and therefore they wouldn't fear large penii?  See these are the questions that need to be asked.

I love this cover because it is so jingoistic but I digress.  The real reason I thought this cover was as the kids say "a hoot" is because if you look at the big screen TV there is a guy who is just unimpressed that Captain America is kicking butt and punching Hitler.  He must keep staring at the screen.  It reminds me of the group at my college called AVCO.  They were a group of "people" who were in charge of all the audio/visual things on campus.  See it was pretty pisspoor because this was a student organization and when we had daily chapel services the AVCO people would be in this little control room doing whatever AVCO does.  Well I remember walking in late one day and I saw them playing Magic The Gathering.  Yes, I know what that is, Magic cards are more valuable than any sports cards and geeks pay top dollar.  I guess AVCO is like that Nazi, nothing but electronics and geekery interest them.

That is the most awesome codpiece ever however I think he is overcompensating for something.

I guess Betty is a Hooker.  In case you don't see it, in the upper right corner Betty is saying, "Interested in having fun?  Pick us up.  You won't be sorry!"  Hmmm if I had all the money back that I spent when I heard those lines, ok well I wouldn't get any money back but it's just a lame attempt at humor.  

So that is how things are in the houses of The Fantastic Four.  I wish I could have slapped every single person involved with the Fantastic Four movie and told them to shut up...the world would be a better place.

I hear you, Ariel.

Eating is this superhero's weakness.  Like he sees food and is so distracted from saving the world because hot wings are calling him away...hot wings sound real good right now...I wonder if we have any in the freezer because I know I have no unthawed wings but maybe I will have to go to the store oh and while I am there i can pick up some of those cookies I like with the frosting and the sprinkles and speaking of sprinkles I need some to make some ice cream sundaes oh and sunday i am going to a chili cook off....see it distracts me as well.

Back tomorrow with a tattoo update.

Well I have taken a day or two off.  I have had some health issues
arise in the past couple of days only to find out that I wasn't eating
enough fiber.  I was worried I was having liver or gallbladder problems, but it turns out it was something all different. 

Anyway this morning I had on the MSNBC and Wisconsin governor Jim Doyle was being interviewed about whom he supported in the presidential race.  His response was somewhat surprising.  He is supporting Obama.  I was shocked because I have been lead to believe that Wisconsin is Hillary's for the taking.  Hopefully Doyle's support of Obama will get people over to his side and away from the Republican in Democrat's clothing that is Hillary Clinton.  I think if she wants to win Wisconsin she will have to campaign and cry at each stop in this state.  If Hillary was the same Hillary from 1992 then maybe I could be swayed but not as long as she is so mired in lobbyists' money can I support her.  OK away from politics.

I think there is some sort of sexual innuendo going on here.  When I was in 8th grade there was this DJ on a radio station that I listened to and every night he played a song called Monster in My Pants and conducted a nightly bed check where people would call in and send out props to their friends.  Anyway on Friday nights he was extra randy.  He would be so sexually charged and I remember two jokes he said.  One was, "Hey dad, if your son borrowed the car tonight, that might not be a milkshake stain in the backseat."  The other was during the bed check he asked a kid, "What's the difference between a washing machine and a woman?"  The kid said nothing so the DJ says, "If you dump a load in a washing machine it won't follow you or call you repeatedly."  These jokes scarred me, maybe not.  My views no way reflect what he said, by the way, just some memories that came up after viewing this ad.

Ah, maybe this is why I smoked Luckies.  Who ever said cigarette companies don't market toward children never saw this ad. 

Wife abuse, over coffee?  God I would have hated to be a woman during the 50s.  If I didn't buy the right coffee, I get beat.  If I didn't buy the right floor cleaner, I get beat.  If I didn't take my beating properly, I get beat.  Makes Leonardo DiCaprio's movie "This Boy's Life" seem normal.

I just don't understand but there is something with this ad that just seems "wrong".

Some people should examine everything before getting married.
 
Bong hits for kids.  You know there was probably a huge public outcry over this and the government of whichever state that this occured in is probably looking at more taxpayer money being spent on drug education for younger children.  Why?  It is the parents' fault.  Make them pay for drug education and then make them pay for their jailtime.  Oh well that will never happen.  Did you know that there are now more people in prisons nationwide than there are independent farmers?

This guy is awesome but this is also another reason why I choose not to use Craigslist.

Not according to Mike Huckabee....

Oh UW-L when will you learn.  Myself, I don't believe the kid's story because that is La Crosse and the only thing La Crosse has going for it is the mass consumption of alcohol.  3rd Street anyone?

And Mike Huckabee is trying to keep people of that type only on Gay Street because he is a segragationist.

My football career now lives on in Madden Football.

Speaking of football way to go Dallas!!!!  If the cowboys are America's team then Jessica Simpson is America's Yoko Ono and T.O. is America's whiny little bitch....PACKERS are going to the Super Bowl and that is all I am willing to say.  I need to find that T.O. crying video because it is hilarious.  

Well I have stuff to do.  La'chaim!

I just want to share some of the best music of 2007 as voted by no one in particular but some guy on his website and I have enjoyed these songs.  Just click on the song to hear it.

Keep the Car Running by The Arcade Fire

Donkey for Your Love by BOAT

Rain by Bishop Allen

Casting Agents and Cowgirls by Busdriver

+81 by Deerhoof

Blackcurrant Jam by Grizzly Bear

A Postcard to Nina by Jens Lekman

Can I Get Get Get by Junior Senior

D.A.N.C.E. by Justice

New York, I Love You But by LCD Soundsystem

North American Scum by LCD Soundsystem

I am John by Loney, Dear

Evil Bee by Menomena

Have You Seen Your Dreams by Miracle Fortresss

Suffer for Fashion by Of Montreal

The Ruby Ring Man by Page France

Comfy in Nautica by Panda Bear

House of Cards by Radiohead

The Underdog by Spoon

Energy by The Apples in Stereo

Running Away by The Polyphonic Spree

If You Take Away the Make-Up by Tullycraft

Bryn by Vampire Weekend

Either Way by Wilco

OK this next song wasn't released in 2007 yet it continues to be one of my favorites: Common People by William Shatner

Enjoy

Sorry this is so late.  I discovered some dive bars here in my hometown, but of course all the bars in this town are to be considered dives.  This one bar was such a dive they didn't have what the bartender called specialty liquor such as gin.  No gin?  Oh well I stuck with a hillbilly martini of Jack and Coke.  I then ended up at a bowling alley and no I don't bowl because I am horrendous.  Anyway it is the only bar in town that carries Ciclone.  My friend let me in on that number and said that was his favorite liquor.  Too bad I didn't show him my home bar with my two 1.75 liter bottles of Ciclone that I got in a bargain bin for $10 each.  It was a very interesting night to say the least.  I think this is the first time in a long time that I have been in bars that allowed smoking.  God bless dive bars where everyone smokes and make my clothes wreak of cheap tobacco.  It was also a night that I got to sit down and have a drink with my 70+ year old neighbor.  I couldn't do much talk about celebrities at the bar so I will now proceed to give you the latest round up of gossip.

Victoria Beckham was named the worst dressed person of 2007.  Hmmm even I have to agree with that.  She still looks like a sex alien from Mars.

The Spice Girls are touring and Mel B is coping a feel.  Actually she was photographed helping Victoria cover up her exposed nipple.  That is what friends are for...hey, didn't the Spice Girls sing a song about that?

Tom Cruise proved again this week that he is a egomaniacil litigious crazy SOB.  A man wrote a book about Cruise and Cruise is suing him for stating in the book that Cruise is the second in charge of the Scientology movement, that Tom is gay, that Tom had Katie Holmes artificially inseminated with the sperm of L. Ron Hubbard to create Suri, and that he loved flowers so much and wanted to fulfill a fantasy so he planted an acre of flowers at a Scientology retreat just so he and Nicole Kidman could run through the flowers.  No that last part seems perfectly sane.  Just as sane as believing a spaceship dumped souls into volcanoes on Hawaii and then they were brainwashed into believing religion to distract from the evil aliens controlling outer space.  I better stop or Mr. Cruise will sue me.

Rob Zombie has a pug???? WTF!!!!!!! How am I supposed to take a person who has said that they are a new master of the horror genre seriously when I see them walking a pug?  Note to self: you wanted to see Zombie's version of Halloween, DON'T!

Richard Simmons was out and about this week...no not out like everyone just wants him to admit but in the media.  All I have to say is that I am thankful for tighty whiteys.  IF he is that flexible no wonder he doesn't come out in public that often...hell I wouldn't either and I don't know any guy that would argue this.

Pam Anderson is reportedly pregnant with on again off again husband Rick Solomon.  Has anyone in Hollywood heard of this thing called birth control?

Nicole Kidman announced she was pregnat(see above joke)..I am really beginning to believe that Tom Cruise is gay. Maybe something happened to their reproductive organs while running through his field of flowers...oh crap I just received a subpoena from Tom Cruise.

Monica Lewinsky was spotted recently.  I wonder who she is supporting this election.  I also wonder if she takes cream in her coffee.

Matt Roloff, star of reality show Little People, Big World, was arrested this summer for DUI.  His trial was this week and he was declared not guilty.  The judge said something about his physical limitations made it hard for him to pass a field sobriety test.  Matt's defense was quite simple, the reason he was swerving all over the road: he was a little tired.

Lily Allen really made me smile this week.  Well the photo on the left is old but I just found it and anyway adorations.  A few weeks ago it was reported that she may be pregnant.  Well apparently she had a conversation with her father that was overheard by some staffers indicating she may not be pregnant afterall.  She told her father, mind you, that she couldn't be pregnant and her father inquired why not and she replied that her and her boyfriend only do it in the "doo doo chute".  Lily, stay classy and that conversation with your father will always make me smile.

Kim Kardashian's ass....is...so...hypnotizing...must keep reporting

Katie Holmes is the world's sexiest John Belushi impersonator. 

Last week, Amy Fischer released a sex tape.  This week her torrid affair mate from the early 90s, Joey Buttafuoco, announced that he was releasing a sex tape as well.  It is now official...I am the only person in the world without a sex tape.

Heidi Montag was spotted this week doing whatever it is she is famous for.  you know she is everything I want in a woman: dumb, fake, hot-bodied, and useless....ok if you believe that I am going to introduce you to Scientology's teachings about Xenu...ahhh Tom Cruise is jumping on my couch!!!!!!!!

Dear Hayden, Milo's lucky to be your boyfriend.  Please don't get knocked up like everyone else in Hollywood.

Good news gang:  Fight Club The Musical is greenlit.  David Fincher's(the movie's director) on board, Chuck Palahniak's(author of Fight Club), and Trent Reznor is working on the music.  I eagerly await.

Funny Avril Lavigne news....at the New Year's celebration which she was a part of, Lil Jon stole the mic out of her hand to do the countdown.  She started crying, maybe it is because she is hormonal because she too is rumored to be pregnant.  Anyway, Lil Jon you are my hero YEEEYEAH!  WHAT! OK!

Ashlee Simpson in a bikini.  Maybe she is somehow faking and using someone else's body.  I wish she was using her older sister's body.  Even half naked she is really boring.

Well this nude pic isn't boring.  Adrienne Curry, some model show winner, gave this set of lesbian fantasy photos to her husband Peter Brady, I mean Chris Knight and he was so upset that he threatened to divorce her.  I guess things like that happen in relationships where people meet on a reality show and then have a reality show about their dating and wedding and then have an upcoming reality show about them trying to have a baby....yeah maybe the next installment will be a reality show about getting divorced.

Amanda Bynes, you are attractive.  Just don't be like any of the other child actor's and get pregnant or release nude photos...remember getting pregnant could be the secret slime action.

Amy Winehouse cut her beehive and dyed her hair blonde.  She is still attractive in my book well as long as she keeps that soulful voice....I really need a girlfriend can't you tell?

A Nickelodeon executive said this week that Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy left a hole to be filled in the Nickelodeon program Zoey 101.  I am going to take the high road and not make any joke about holes being filled.  Lynn Spears proved she is a horrible parent once again by having Jamie get her GED.  I am not saying a GED is a bad thing but look at what happened to Britney...I'm just saying...and speaking of Britney:

This was the scene last Thursday evening.  A hospital employee said that Brit took upwards of 100 pills in 36 hours.  Here is what she took: 2 bottles
of Nyquil, 20 Clenbuterols, 18 herbal uppers, 18 Piriton antihistamines, 12
Vicodins, 10 sleeping pills, 8 antacid pills, 1 bottle of Pepto Bismol, 10
Zantacs, 6 Ritalins and 2 full bottles of Oxycontin.
K-Fed was afraid Britney would
shoot both his sons dead with the gun he gave her. Brit keeps a Beretta 92FS
near her bed Britney begged KFed over the phone to let her keep the boys. She
offered him $100 million.  When one of K-Fed's bodyguards tried to take the kids away Britney bit him in the leg. So Britney then called up Jamie Lynne and told her that she (Jamie Lynne) wasn't going to be the only Spears on the cover of a magazine next week.  She then bashed her head into a wall in a fit of rage.  This whole incident led to Britney losing custody and visitation rights pending another trial.

So Britney is released after a fiasco in which Dr. Phil tried to host an intervention for his crap show but that didn't work out so well.  She was driving and got a flat tire and when the paparazzi showed up and said, "Britney, you're flat" she proceed to take her top off to prove them wrong.

Britney Spear's paparazzi boyfriend is shopping around nude pics of Britney.  She is asking for 5 figures for each pic.  Nobody is buying.  Funny considering that a few years ago a nude picture of Britney probably could have went for 6 figures at the least.

Britney remained calm for the rest of the week until Thursday evening when she was reported to be flying in a hot air balloon over the North Pole.  Ok, maybe not but she is so crazy you can't help but think that it is possible. 

I really do hope she gets help not just for her sake but also the sake of her children. 
Have a great weekend.

So another day is gone.  I had some fun today.  My cats were very active and decided to try to dig the front of my couch because apparently there is something in there that fascinates them.  Then they found some Mardi Gras beads and carried them all over the house.  I put the beads around their neck but they didn't like that.  The real fun started when I was walking to get a water from the kitchen and there was a large puddle in front of the sink.  I had to clean everything underneath and of course my cats had to explore what was going on and by doing so get in my way.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong but it is still dripping even after tightening.  Old pipes are probably the cause.  Anyway tomorrow I may need a plumber to help us fix it.  I got a book from the library today.  It is nice living across the street from a library.  So that brings me to now and it is Thursday so that means crappy tattoos. 

Oh you rebel!  In case you can't see that is an anarchy symbol.

Oh you rebel part two!  Genius her put his hand a little too close to the flash but that is another anarchy sign.  All these anarchists are against herd conformity but apparently they are ok with everyone having the same hideous tattoo.

You know, it's about time he got some attention other than great parking spaces.

Either that is her name or she doesn't know what feminist means.

Have you ever woke up after a night of drinking and look at your leg and think that you wrote something funny on your calf and then realized it was a tattoo?  Well this guy does.

"Freedom isn't free/Now there's a hefty f___n' fee/ and if you don't throw in your buck 0 five/ who will? Freedom costs a buck 0 five"  If you know that song then you are a sick individual like myself.

Grade-F meat right there folks.

I pity the fool who gets a Mr. T tattoo.

He's secretly an action figure.

How would you explain this tattoo to any girl that you may ever cross romantic paths with?

"I itch, beeyotch!"  Apparently this guy was there for the five o'clock free tattoo giveaway.

He got "Redneck" tattooed on the inside of his lip.  I can hear Jeff Foxworthy now, "If you get the word 'redneck' tattooed on your inner lip, you may be a complete dumbass."

Well I am out of here, will be back tomorrow with another celebrity round up.

Some random thoughts:  I really despise Hillary Clinton.  Her crocodile tears did not have any effect on me.  She is so deceptive.  I think that I will not be swayed from my support of a candidate unless that candidate says that he is going to purpose legislation to draft me and only me into the military and I will be the lone armed service member in Iraq and I have to control the entire country or I face execution.  Then I may sway but I still wouldn't support Hillary.

I have been thinking of seeing Sweeney Todd.  I have been iffy on musicals.  I think they are truly a lost art form.  I recently watched The Umbrellas of Cheorburg(spelling is off) and all the dialogue was sung.  The entire movie, all words, sung.  It was actually very good.  Anyway back to Sweeney Todd, a few years ago Kevin Smith directed his only movie that was set outside of the Viewaskewniverse and it was a dud.  Ben Affleck's character and his character's daughter perform a couple of songs from Sweeney Todd for a school talent show.  Now Tim Burton comes around and he directs that big screen version of Sweeney Todd.  I wonder if it was to spite Kevin Smith because he has said some nasty things about Tim Burton in the past few years.  Anyway I am looking for irony where there is none. 

Kevin Smith likes comic books and so do I and I also like to make fun of them so here goes:

I am a student of history.  There were three Axis leaders.  Now according to this comic book cover there are three Axis heads and two Axis bodies.  It looks like Mussolini had a floating head disconnected from his body. 

With a title like Girl Love and what the two girls are saying....well I have seen late night movies on Cinemax have similar scenes.

Is that Jimmy Olsen?  Even so, why does Smallville have its own suspension bridge and public transit and harbor?  Oh yeah so which giant are they referring to in the title?  These comics are going to make my brain explode.

Apparently, Rex is more powerful than a grenade that was just hurled at him.  As many of you know, I have never been to war before but if I was that guy in the tank I would probably be more concerned with the grenade that is flying at me than the dog that too is flying at me.  Call me crazy but guns don't stop grenades like they can stop dogs but maybe not wonder dogs.

So they have a statue of Caesar in Metropolis?  I guess Superman also has super ventriloquism powers.

So what was your first clue?  Obiviously The Flash's mind isn't as fast as his feet.

Ummm...did someone ever explain fire and water to these writers?

I am so afraid of a gymnist.  You have to be the worst superhero if you get beat by a gymnist.

Superhypnotism???? Well at least she now hates Clark Kent.

Superweaving? A wedding gown?  Do you ever get the feeling that they are really stretching for story ideas?

LINCOLN SMASH!!!!!!!!!

Superman is up to his old super dickery here by leaving Jimmy Olsen to fight off an army of Jimmy Olsen clones.  You would think that with all the crap that Superman has put up with from Jimmy Olsen and all the times he has humiliated Jimmy Olsen, he wouldn't be able to resist beating the hell out of an army of Jimmy Olsen clones.  Let me say that one more time, "AN ARMY OF JIMMY OLSEN CLONES"

Well I am off to make some phone calls.  Have a splendid evening.

I started reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser today.  It is an intriguing look at the fast food industry and how it has changed America.  It is sort of interesting how we now have more people in jail than we have independent farmers.  Also interesting is that McDonald's is one of the country's lowest wage giver.  The only workers that make less than a McDonald's employee are migrant farmers.  Anyway it got me thinking about other foods that I might eat and what it truly is.

Remember a few days ago when I made a comment about how I thought Germans were strange?  Well here is some more proof.  It is a product that promises miracles if used on the eggs which are what the germans call balls.

I think I could go for anything else but this.  

I would ask for a refund.

But my innards do not need a tickling, that is why I am ordering a case of that German shampoo.

A while back I posted a tattoo about jenkem.  This is seriously a new drug that kids are using.  What is wrong with our society.  I'm looking at you McDonald's.

Thunderstorms.  I was woken up this morning by a major thunderstorm.  Here it is January 7th in Wisconsin and we are experiencing thunderstorms and heavy rainfall.  Maybe there is something with the weather.  Maybe I should make some sort of powerpoint slide show about how the weather is strange and something needs to be done.  You're right it would never work and how could a powerpoint presentation earn me any acclaim.

Tonight is the national college football championship.  I am hoping Ohio State wins not because I like the Buckeyes but simply because if they win it will give the Big Ten conference some credibility and prove that the SEC isn't the best football conference in America.
Here are some funny pics.

Yummy.  I think there was a whole episode of The King of Queens devoted to licking trash cans.  I didn't know it could be so sexy.

This ad isn't too subtle.

I found an old Flinstones commercial in which Barney and Fred were opining about their favorite brand of cigarettes and the announcers said 4 out of 5 doctors agree.  I wonder if any doctors today would recoomend a specific brand of cigarettes.  I know have something to talk about the next time I see the beautiful asian doctor.

I'm surprised there isn't a little gecko in there somewhere.

Ummmm is it the same position.....because if I had to do the same position I too may go to jail...sex jokes...funny.

This is ok.  I think a wheelchair ad or an ad for prosethic legs would have worked better however how many of those places advertise on the net.

I hope someone else gets this one.

Thanks for the ummm warning.

Because gynecologist isn't as funny.

I hear they also sell lampshades and soap.

No wonder I get so aroused when I drink Coke.  Now only if I had a girlfriend to drink a Coke with me.

This is why when I go to church you may see me in tears with my arms raised to the sky.

So I have resisted saying anything about the Iowa caucus UNTIL NOW!  I am so happy the Hillary came in third.  I can't stand her.  I think she will be more of the same old BS on Capitol Hill.  Barak Obama won.  Wow, I am so excited about him.  He gives me such hope.  Mike Huckabee won the Republican and really I am fearful.  I think people are just backing him because he is a Christian.   The best part of this whole caucus was listening to Obama and Huckabee give their "victory" speeches.  I was blown away by Obama.  He knows how to move people with his words.  I then listened to Mike Huckabee and was soon sleeping.  Man it's just like church sometimes when the pastor gives a rambling sermon.  Comparing Obama vs. Huckabee's speeches is like comparing MLK's "I Have a Dream Speech" against the mayor of Hillsboro, Wisconsin cutting the ribbon for an addition to the town's library.  So it's on to New
Hampshire, where Clinton still has the lead and Huckabee's Evangelical
voters are only around 15 to 20%. I think it's a lot more telling given
the fact that Hillary did not only lose to Obama, but came in third. I read in the paper today that Clinton camp is openly saying that they will step up attacks on Obama.  Hillary has become a
bit scary in the factor of butching up so she can be taken seriously. I
mean cuddling up to Bush's belief about Iran being the bogeyman?
Declaring the importance of Lobbyists and flip flopping like an amateur
LIVE on stage about licenses for Illegal immigrants? Excusing her lack
of inspiring life stories by claiming she's SHY? She even picked a
Celine Dion song as her campaign anthem. Celine Dion?? Clinton's
camp has also stated they are going to step up Bill's on the forefront
in New Hampshire to do his pimping for his wife.  Listen, nominating
Clinton at the Convention is only going to be TOO easy for Republicans
to publicly stone her. All they gotta do is wipe off the old files they
saved up (oh and you KNOW they saved them up...) on Whitewater,
Lewinsky, the pro invasion of Iraq vote... Obama poses a larger threat
to anyone the GOP puts in there. Romney, McCain, Huckabee... I foresee
a landslide if Obama is nominated. That is unless of course... we
get the sudden dark horse, last minute candidate that I have a feel is
coming around the bend. No, Not GORE! You know who I'm talking about.

Mayor McCheese with Hamburglar as his running mate.

This will siphon
any Democratic votes as we all know that Mayore McCheese has LOADS of
Foreign Policy experience! Not to mention Hamburglar's hardline stance
on Immigration yet tender policy on Healthcare reform. I know what
you're thinking. But since Hamburglar was never convicted, he cannot
be disqualified as a candidate.

What?

Oh, yeah, and FRED THOMPSON isn't just as laughable?

Wow a lot of stuff has been going on in the world of celebrity lives in the new year.  It's time to get it all out.

Here's something that probably should have stayed in on New Year's.  I don't know what Vivica Fox is going for here, maybe it is a tribute to Catwoman, Ertha Kitt.  Anyway maybe she was trying to make a public face(or lack there of) to show she was strong with all the rumors out there that she has a sex tape floating around.  Yes, some guy got her drunk and taped her giving him a bj with his cell phone.  You know I have a camera phone and have yet to film my own sex tape.  I guess I am going about things wrong.  Anyway if want to see her keep up a good rhythm with a red box(censored naughty bits) check out this page.

Speaking of BJs...Vince Vaughn showing why I no longer eat ice cream cones.  God those things are so phallic and he is just proving my case all the more.

I so want to work for Tyra.  She had a Christmas party for the staff of her talk show which was located at a dive bar in New York.  After everyone got rip-roarin' drunk Tyra showed up with a Santa and dropped off bags of McDonald's cheeseburgers and then left.  The staffers got so pissed that this was their party AND their Christmas bonus that they started fighting each other and one staffer lost three teeth.  God, where can I get an application.

Tila Tequilla hosted an MTV New Year's party.  She did give us some sad news.  She and Bobby, the tool that won her show, had just broken up because he couldn't deal with her schedule.  He said in interviews that he never got her number and was not allowed to call her so how could they be a couple because he never had a clue where she was.  Anyway her announcement of the break-up came just in time to announce that there will be another season of her show...hahahaha, I said came.

In an interview this week, Slash of Guns N' Roses, said that his children were around when he collaborated with Michael Jackson.  He did say that he made sure his kids never were alone with Jacko.  Speaking of Guns N' Roses, I have to add one of my new year's resolutions: this year I will release my music album and I will title it Chinese Democracy...take that Axl!

Paris Hilton is reading Sun-Tzu?  This has got to be a fake or a publicity stunt because just take time to think about those two things...yeah she isn't reading it.

Remember those old Double Mint commercials?  The song talked about double your pleasure with double mint gum.  Well if Paris is in the picture I guess it would be double the whore. 

So it is being rumored that Paris and K-Fed have been dating.  So my question is which one could do better and which one could do worse.

They should have used Pam Anderson's breasts for the Times Square ball drop.

For my Top Chef fan friends.  Padma Lakshmi is so hot.  She is so hot that if I attempt to talk about how hot she is and put into mere human words how hot she is the internet will break in half.
 
Mischa Barton was at church after her recent arrest for possession of medical marijuana that wasn't prescribed to her.  I do have to give her props.  She didn't go to rehab like every other celebrity when they are arrested, she chose church to wash away the sins or at least attempt to resurrect her career since The OC is done.

Miley Cyrus, daughter of Mullet Ray Cyrus, recently posted some pics of her and a friend eatng candy.  I don't see what the fuss is all about, I mean she is only 15 and 15 year olds eat candy.  OK, maybe not in lesbianic fashion.

Here we see Mariah Carey all skanked up for New Year's Eve.

God Mandy Moore is looking good.  I can't wait to see what she has for us in the new year.
 
Lauren Conrad spent New Year's drunk and getting groped by some random guy.  I hope they show this on whatever reality show she is one or famous for.
 
Lindsay Lohan hooked up with 3 guys in a 24 hour period while she was in Italy.  These are the three guys.  She obviously isn't into an age barrier and is an equal opportunity whore.
 
Lindsay has also fallen off the wagon.  Spotted drinking on New Year's.  I know who killed her sobriety and career---she did.  I guess I will have to get in line before she goes to rehab for dick addiction.

This is Kumari Fulbright, an Arizona beauty queen who with some assitance kidnapped and tortured her boyfriend.  Don't you love the meth scars and the sheet they had to put over her when they took the mugshot because she was topless when she was arrested?  Oh, she has a wonderful career in front of her.  I think she should use this as her new headshot.

Reggie Bush are rumored to be engaged to be married.  The only thing I think that they are engaged in is videotaping their sex sessions.  It appears Reggie Bush is behind his new center who is hiding wedding bells in her ass.

I don't know who Kelly Brock is but she is all over the rumor circuit and I have to admit she takes a good picture.

Kayne West recently admitted to playing Connect Four hours on end.  So basically he admitted to being a nerd like me.  He also admitted to beating Beyonce.  Hova's gonna be mad.

Jessica Alba's starting to show.

And X-Tina is ready to blow.

Jennifer Anniston and Courtney Cox recently spent New Year's relaxing in the sun.  Wow they have to be Friends to go through with that.  I can't get any girl to go near my feet.

Yes that is Courtney Cox's coinslot.  

Rumor had it that Jennifer Anniston was pregnant but she denied it.  Looking at this pose it does look like she is trying with any man who walks by.

Dear Hayden, your barely legal cleavage is my Hero.

Danica McKellar, who starred as Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years, is hot and smart as hell.  She is some sort of math genius and has a doctorate in how to teach young girls that math is cool.  Whatever, as long as I get to see pictures of her its alright.

Amy Fisher, The Long Island Lolita, just released a sex tape starring her and her husband.  She also DJed the release party.  AHHHHHH...New Jersey.

Britney Spears had a hell of week.  She skipped yet another court depostion.  This was the final step with her lawyers who ended up quitting.  So Britney needed some new lawyers and someone to smack that damn smirk off her face.  

Well Thursday night, K-Fed came to pick up the kids and Britney refused to give them up.  Well police were called and they found Britney to be under the influence of some substance.  She had no clue where she was or what was happening.  Police don't know if it was a suicide attempt or an overdose.  SHe was taken to the hospital and labeled a special needs patient.  Hmmm I can agree with the special needs part.  I guess what gets me all pissed about this is what is happening to her young children and how is it going to scar them.  Keep an eye out because this story hasn't fully developed.

Here is Coco.  Yummy.  You know the real winner of the Iowa caucus is you and me because we get to look at Coco.  
Have a great weekend.