Today is Saturday and I went out with my parents because they are looking for a new printer for their computer and they wanted me along for the ride and my supposed expertise of computers.  We get to the box store and my mom is describing this printer as the holy grail of graphic printing and how it has a fax machine and scanner and can photocopy existing documents and all for the low price of $50.  We get to the electronics and the only printer they had for $50 and well the only printer they had was nothing special.  So we ask and the clerk said they were all sold out.  I then went over to look at mp3 players because I am thinking I need to be in the market for one but for the most part it is a pipe dream.  Well they were having a clearance sale and a Sony video 4gb mp3 player was only $70 regularly $120.  So tomorrow I think I may go treat myself.  Anyway today is Saturday and I have decided to do my music blog and this week will be different because someone suggested I add why I picked the song so that is what I will do.

Crystal Blue Persuasion- Tommy James and the Shondells  I love this band's style.  It is so trippy and this song just makes me think summer and laying on the beach and frolicking in the sand with bikini clad women.

Silence is Golden- The Tremeloes  I grew up listening to a lot of 6s and 70s music because that was my dad's time period.  So I listened to a lot of oldies radio.  This has always been a favorite song.  The harmonics and the falsetto make me melt.  Yeah that sound pretty weird but it is still a good song.

Blue Moon- The Marcels  Once again this was inspired by my father.  He always tells me that when he was in high school and college he djed for sock hops, which I think is old man slang for dances.  This is such a fun song.  I try to sing the bass part but it is hard to sing harmony with no one else sing the leads.  Ah....I think that is some sort of analogy to my being single.

Sleepwalk- Santo and Johnny  This has got to be one of the most beautiful guitar instrumentals of all time.  I remember my dad telling me that when Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and The Big Bopper died that they played this song as a memorial.  I think that I would love this song to be played as they wheel my casket out of the church during my funeral.  Yes, morbid thought but I am getting old.

Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay- Otis Redding  I was in Madison recently and realized that Otis died in Lake Monona.  Sort of sad fact but this song will carry on his memory.

Ripple- The Grateful Dead  I love this song and the words move me.  I got in a Dead kick today.  I don't care what you may say about jam bands but this song is beautiful and this band is definitely very talented. 

Attics of My Life- The Grateful Dead  The harmony on this song is so beautiful.  It almost makes it hard to believe this is the Dead.  Reminds me of a good old time gospel hymn.  This is from American Beauty.  It is one of those albums that I think is a necessity for a collector.  The first time I heard this album in the entirety I was speechless and felt like some new world was opened for me.  I now wish that I could erase the memory of this album from my mind so that I can relive that experience of a first listen all over again.

Sex Bomb- Tom Jones  This song is my mantra for "relations".  Ok enough said.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow- The Shirrelles  I often picture this song as one I use for a first dance with a wife if I ever get married.  The words, the meaning, everything just makes it a great song.

You Can Never Hold Back Spring- Tom Waits  I have been getting into Tom Waits over the past year and a half.  There is something about his voice that is so mournful and you can almost smell the liquor on his breath as you hear the words through the speakers.  This song helps me fight cabin fever.  It reminds me old time jazz and cabaret.  This is why I am getting into Tom Waits.

Your Hand in Mine- Explosions in the Sky  This song is used for the theme song to one of my favorite tv shows, Friday Night Lights.  It was also used in the movie Friday Night Lights.  Explosions in the Sky are an instrumental rock band from West Texas.  They were used in the movie Friday Night Lights because another instrumental rock band turned down the opportunity to score the film.  So the director went with a band from the area where the movie was based.  They are now one of my favorite bands although I have yet to see if they tour in the Midwest.  Hopefully they come around here soon. 

Fit But You Know It- The Streets   I love this guy.  Probably the best rapper to come out of the UK.  Anyway this song is probably my favorite.

Tomorrow is Sunday.  I have an idea for a blog entry that might be entertaining.  Until then keep it real.

I haven't written this week.  I have been battling a bad cold and I am finally getting over it.  I have also been suffering from depression but I think that is because of the cold and also cabin fever.  I suppose there is another factor that has me down this week but I won't get into that here.  I haven't had to go to the emergency room this week so I guess I am getting better.  Today was the first day in what seems like forever that I didn't hack up a proverbial lung.  I will try to write more in the coming week.  While I was laid up I did manage to keep on all the latest celebrity gossip, so here goes.

Hey, Tom Cruise, your robot is asleep!  Maybe you should get a step stool and try to see if you can reach her control panel...you see he would need a step stool because Katie Holmes is gigantic compared to him.  Anyway in Scientology news, a leader of an opposition group was found mysteriously dead this week.  Hmmm, Scientology gets attacked by a group called Anonymous and then a week later a leader of another opposition group is found dead....coincidence?

Yummy, a new favorite lesbian fantasy between Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman has sprung up in my head.  Oh yeah that's the stuff.  You know they have real chemistry and I am talking L-Word chemistry...hear that L-Word directors and creators...I HAVE SCRIPTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well mainly they are just reoccurring dreams but how hard would it be to crank out onto the screen, I mean look at Pirates of the Caribbean, a movie based on an amusement park ride.   This week they were interviewed on the Today Show with Matt Lauer and well let's just say things were really heating up...look at this clip...I have had my issues with Scarlett Johansson and her ruining Tom Waits songs but this is just plain lesbirriffic!

Speaking of Natalie Portman, she was interviewed this later on this week and she said that she wants to do more nude scenes....AND THE THRONGS REJOICED!!!!!  Looks like she has gotten a start with that dress....yummy.

In other celebrity public nudity, Christina Ricci was walking some red carpet this week and paparazzi members asked her about her new tattoo.  Well Christina likes to show it off and took a select cameraman aside and posed for a photo of her new tattoo.  I'm not sure yet if I would put it in a crappy tattoo post because the placement makes up for the lack of artistic talent.  You know who wins with this tattoo, EVERYONE!

Sad news this week, recording artist and aspiring finger model Pink and husband, BMX freak and reality show star, Carey Hart announced they are proceeding with a divorce.  There really wasn't a reason given as to why they were getting divorced but my hunch is that Pink found out that Carey had a penis.  Yes, that is low but she has been going around and giving interviews to gay and lesbian issues magazines saying how much she loves to kiss women and says that women are God's sexiest creatures, you know I have to agree and if they are kissing women then I am all for that fad.

It was Paris Hilton's birthday this week and I refuse to acknowledge anything we have in common.  She decided part of her birthday celebration would be her performing with the Pussycat Dolls.  I guess that means she is one step closer to being a professional stripper.  By the way the microphone was burned shortly after she dropped it for public health concerns.

This is another shot of Paris' "performance".  The next day after her strip show...I mean burlesque show...Paris was informed that she was not allowed to attend the Oscars.  Apparently they are for serious movies that do not include the words "Hottie" or "Nottie" in their titles.  One of Paris' staffers said that to save her dignity Paris would be attending Oscar after parties.  You know what is funny about that?  Paris wouldn't know what dignity was unless it screwed her in the ass and then she would have to film it to paste all over the internet.

A picture of Paris celebrating New Year's in a precarious position arose this week.  That must have been one hell of a party.

Yes this is a Paris heavy week.  She is currently being investigated by some animal protection agencies in Los Angeles.  She has too many dogs.  I think the limit is 3, at least that is what it is within our city limits unless the person buys a kennel permit and has everyone in the ward sign a permission slip.  Anyway Paris has admitted to owning 17 dogs, well 18 if you count Nicole Richie...rimshot.

Speaking of mommy dearest, here she is at another party with her baby's father Joel Madden.  It seems that every day the past two weeks they have been out at parties.  They are bad parents.  Every night? The baby is less than a month old, you would think it needs to develop a special attachment to the mother...oh wait that is what nannies are for.  My theory is the baby has been adopted by pharoah's daughter after Nicole left the baby in the car seat and was talking on the cell phone and the tide came in while she was with baby on the beach.  My other theory is that the baby has been adopted by gorillas and is swinging in the trees singing with a lovable bear named Baloo.

Here's meth face...I mean Aaron Carter.  He got pulled over this week for excessive speeding and when the police searched his vehicle they found 2 ounces of marijuana.  Apparently Aaron loves the chronic and here I thought he was a meth head.

How do I describe Olivia Munn in one word?  PERFECT!  My god my geek fantasies are coming true this week.

Due to her being fired from Jenny Craig, Kirstie Alley has decided to start her own weight loss system.  It will have Scientology overtones and be filled with roots and nuts and berries and hopefully it will involve her eating ice cream cones.  I have an evil mind.

Can you guess the ass?  Oh that's too easy.  It's Kim Kardashian.  I think the camera captured the only good side she has.  It is a lovely picture.

In other famous ass news, JLO gave birth to twins.  She is already negotiating which tabloid magazine gets the rights to photograph her children for the first time.  Rumor has it the winner is paying upwards of $6million.  Just another case of the richer getting richer.  Oh the picture, she was getting really big so I posted her face over mine.

Jessica Simpson has officially became a box office star.  Her movie, Blonde Ambition, which only took in $2000 in a one weekend theatrical release in the US, is the number one movie in Ukraine.  Apparently the people of Eastern Europe love American movies of that ilk because they want to escape from the reality of war and terror and all the other schlock Hollywood produces.  Well what better place to look for something fake than Jessica Simpson.

Like JLO, Jessica Alba is not happy with having just one baby, no she has to be all celebitchy and have twins.  Why do celebrities have to rub it in our faces that they are better than us?  Well every celebrity but Britney Spears

Heidi Klum, this week in an interview, begged Britney Spears to come live with her and Seal so that way Britney could recouperate and get her life in gear.  I think it is just for me so that my dreams can be fulfilled.  This week has been the most lesbirriffic week ever!

Oh I get it, the real reason Seal and Heidi Klum want Britney to stay with them is because they have a wild animal fetish...damn there go my dreams...or did they?

Heidi Montag and her boyfriend Spencer Douche Bag need to be destroyed.  I mean first they made this video and then Spencer says how Heidi is going to be the biggest recording star ever.  Now this week Spencer is talking about how everybody gave Heidi a bad review because tehy are jealous of all the money they make.  Yeah, I am jealous of two fake people in a fake releationship and by the way I haven't seen that much silicone on the beach since Baywatch.  Oh and to make matters worse Spencer announced this week that he and Heidi are in negotiations to develop a video game based on their lives.  So the game is going to be driving to a restaurant, talking at the restaurant, driving home and talking on the phone?  God Allah Vishnu Buddha Jebus, please I will never ask for anything ever again just please make them go away, it is no loss to humanity, please do it.

A website popped up this week offering a Gene Simmons sex tape.  The woman he is with is not his long time partner Shannon Tweed.  Apparently Gene was trying to show her that another member of the family can get it on in front of the camera.  If you want to see a sex tape that my father, member of the KISS Army would like, go to www.genessecret.com and no I am not linking because I think Gene Simmons is self-obsessed and is promoting this video himself even though he claims it was "leaked".

Flava Flav is back on tv with his "hit" show, Flava of Love.  Apparently the real reason why his "relationship" with season 2's winner Delishis never flourished is that during the period between the ending of filming and the reunion he got another woman pregnant and then after the reunion show Flav never called her.   Oh to be poor and ignorant and have vh-1 dangle reality tv show deals in front of my face.

Dog the Bounty Hunter will be returning to A&E with all new programs soon.  I am hoping they drop the bounty hunting gig and start their own makeover company to make people look like him and Beth.

Seriously if they made over people for their weddings, well that would be one hell of a wedding.  I can think of two BIG reasons why they should have a makeover show.  No, perverts, you are only half right.  His hair, her boobs....objects that only Michelangelo could reproduce.

Christian Aguilera was on Ellen this week for two reasons and well since Ellen loves breasts, go figure.  In the interview Ellen went right for the jugs, I mean jugular and asked her about them.  This is the most lesbirriffic week ever!  Somebody out there actually likes me.

"Punk Rock" princess Avril Lavigne is rumored to be pregnant.  When the photographer asked she immediately covered her stomach.  Apparently Avirl is ashamed to be pregnant because pregnancy is not faux punk rock and she would be conforming to recent trends in Hollywood.

A picture was released this week by a company called Age Progression.  They took a look at Britney Spears and determined what she will look like, if she is still alive, at age 46.  The future doesn't look too good for Britney, maybe she should take up Heidi Klum on her offer.  If you want to see some freaky stuff and possibly think what you or your children might look like in the future for a huge price check www.ageprogression.org
I have to admit the site is pretty funny.  I would be horrified if some of my kids would turn out looking how they predict some will look like.  

Britney Spears made news a few times this week.  Two were for her lack of underwear.  Britney is a military strategist and is a huge propponet of the Scorched Earth Policy.  Anyway Britney has been whining about the paparazzi not giving her any space to California lawmakers.  Well they are set to vote on some law that would set the closest a member of the paparazzi can be to a star is at 10 feet.  Personally I don't care but the funniest comment was from a police officer who said the law should be that Britney be confined to her house and a state representative said that the reason she has such a following is her own fault and her own doing because she calls the paps to follow her.  Britney, you need to be locked up.

Here is another shot of Britney's scorched earth.  You know, you have to give her credit.  She is doing a better job of covering it up but she has yet to learn what underwear is.  Maybe she was just jealous of my favorite news getter this week, Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay posed nude for a New York magazine mimicking a famous photoset of Marilyn Monroe.  Wow, Lindsay is looking good and natural and perky, but for some strange reason I have to ask if she is converting to Islam.

Well it was an exciting week of nudity and lesbianism.  Hopefully next week will be the same.  I also will be promising more updates next week.  Oh by the way, Wisconsin, I love you for getting out there and voting for Obama.  Hillary must be stopped.  Our country cannot afford four more years of bush...maybe Hillary should take scorched earth tips from Britney...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Think happy thoughts think happy thoughts...yes, Natalie Portman's nipples....Happy Never Going to be President Day!