In case you don't understand the cut of my jib, that last entry was an April Fool's joke.  I almost forget that it was April 1st today until I heard some things mentioned on the news today of how someone actually "punked" Ashton Kutcher and got him good and made him cry.  Anyway I will have to find some more on that story for my Friday celebrity edition.  Now I just feel like dropping some funny pictures.

At least they aren't J.O. on the bus.

He does birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and weddings.  I love how it seems everyone around this dog is in squalor yet he has some pretty cool shades.

I know it is fake but I find a beaver sucking a bong to be quite funny.

You know they put that warning on the wall because there are a lot of 250lb babies out there.

This has to be one of the best motorcycles ever or at least the best seat ever.  that would make riding that POS so much more pleasurable.

Brings new meaning to the term, "come to the darkside".  I think this also show what Darth Vader did to raise funds for the new Death Star.  He gave a lot of hernia examinations.

I bet they are there getting directions on how to get away from the porn store.

When you have babies and pets, the pets will most definitely get jealous and it is only a matter of time before they rebel.

Why can't I receive cards like this?  Ah, so lonely.

Would I surprise you if I said this radio station was a FOX affiliate?

Yes, same here, but I would need a million dollars to have two chicks do a dude like me.

For some reason I think this is up in Minneapolis of Bloomington but I can't remember where exactly.  You know people with dirty minds find these signs hilarious and the rest of the world doesn't understand why I laugh and they think I am deranged.

Well I am off to rest my swelling knee.  I will be back tomorrow with a comic review.

Bank One won the naming rights for the Arizona Diamondbacks Stadium, so
it began as BOB, the Bank One Ballpark. Aggressive Chase Bank bought up
Bank One, so the stadium was renamed Chase Ballpark. That seemed
appropriate, since the D-backs were always chasing the hot grounders
hit past them.

However, the mortgage crisis hit Chase so badly
that they were forced to give up their naming rights, actually
sub-letting the lease to another company, General Mills Food. Corporate
lawyers were not sure they could do this at first, but an overnight
decision from a circuit court allowed the controversial decision.

The
food company thought Jolly Green Ballpark sounded too childish, so they
decided to go upscale for the benefit of tony Scottsdale, nearby. The
new name will be the Lesueur Ballpark, after the region near
Minneapolis where the peas are raised. The cold weather is especially
good for the peas.

April Dummkopf,
the company spokesman, admitted that the name was tricky. "Ya, da name
must be said correctly or it sounds yust like La Sewer. We don't like
dat."

The Chase public relations team vowed they would help get
the bank back on its feet again so they could get the naming rights
back. "It's so bad now, that when a customer starts a new account, we
ask him for a toaster."

A reporter for the Arizona Republican agreed. He said, "I stopped at my branch today and they couldn't give me change for a twenty."

Been busy.  Writing.  Blah.  I hate this dreary weather, snow and sleet and darkness.  Now I have April to look forward to.  Anyway I finally got around to looking for some music, in case anyone ever reads this other than looking for porn because I install key porn type words in some of my picture captions and get many interesting visitors.  It is funny to find how many people come to my site looking for "nude", "tits" "blow job", "anal", and "sex" and then I go to their websites they say how in love with Jesus they are and how they hate all the naughtiness of the internet.  I guess I can understand where Anton LaVey got his negative view of Christians.  Before I renounce any belief system I will put up music.

Right Here, Right Now- Fat Boy Slim  I love this song.  It just puts me in the mood.  I get on the interstate or 169 and put this song on and just cruise in style.  I can see why a few NBA teams have used this as their introduction song.

King of the Road- Rufus Wainwright  This song was on the soundtrack for Brokeback Mountain.  I honestly like this version over the original by Roger Miller.  I think one of the lines is my personal motto: "I'm a man of means by no means."

Overcome- Live  I enjoy Live.  When their album Throwing Copper came out I had them pegged as the next big thing in rock music.  Sadly I was wrong.  They have had limited success since the mid 90s but this song, Overcome, this is the song.  The first time I can honestly say I heard it was in the days following 9/11 and they had soundbites of the devastation on that die mixed in with the somber tune.  The next time I heard this song was on the excellent tv show, The Shield.  It was at the end of an episode, which I can't recall the name of season, but I know it fit perfectly and drove me to tears.  Anyway, if you are a Christian looking for sex on the sly by visiting my site and you are going to leave, well before you leave, take a listen to this song.

We're in This Together- Nine Inch Nails  I was so excited when this album came out.  It was the first studio release of new material Trent Reznor made since The Downward Spiral(Skinny Wolf if I am wrong, I apologize but it is late and my NIN knowledge doesn't seem to be what it used to).  The thing that threw me off with this song was at the beginning there is this little guitar riff that was in either a Target or some home interior design commercial prior to this album's release so whenever I hear it I see this guy in a lime colored suit sitting at a table in a red room.  Yes, for having a concussion damaged brain as I have, I can remember some insignificant details.

No Shelter- Rage Against the Machine  This song was about the only good thing about the 1998 release of Godzilla.  This song was on the soundtrack but I do not remember it in the movie.  Maybe it was in the credits.  Puff Daddy raped Led Zeppelin on that soundtrack by sampling Kashmir.  That pissed me off.  Anyway, after hearing this song and drinking a bottle of After Shock, I came back to the dorms and was inspired to dance.  This song came on and today I have my signature dance.  Thank you After Shock.  Thank you Rage Against the Machine.  Thank you underage drinking and fake IDs.

We Will Rock You/ We Are the Champions- Michael Johns  Say what you will about American Idol, this performance blew my mind and I think it has been the best performance on that show to date.  We Are the Champions was released by Queen as a single with We Will Rock You as the B-Side.  Well on the album We Will Rock You precedes We Are the Champions on the album and American rock djs didn't have the single so they just played the album and they would play the two songs together.  Well Queen finally released these two songs as a double A-Side.  I know it probably doesn't make sense but they also finished all their concerts with these two songs. 

Brown Sugar- The Rolling Stones  Yes, an awesome song.  That opening guitar riff just screams out to me that this song is going to blow my mind.  Yeah and there may be other reasons why I like this song. 

It Don't Come Easy- Ringo Starr  Yes, Ringo was often called the brain-dead Beatle but he does do a good job with this song.  His vocal range isn't the greatest but he tries his best.  I guess I like this song because Ringo is basically being autobiographical because he thought life would be easy after The Beatles but he had to pay his dues.  I am sure that isn't the meaning of the song but that is what it is in my mind.  I don't criticize people who think the Beach Boys song "God Only Knows" is about a girl and not Brian Wilson's ode to his personal doctor who kept writing him prescriptions for medicine Brian didn't really need but still abused.

Do You Love Me- Brian Poole  I heard this song as an impressionable youth, most likely around the time Dirty Dancing came out, and thought that in order to win the affection of females, one needed to know how to dance.  Well I have a signature dance but no love.  At least Patrick Swayze taught me correctly in the ways of bouncing but not in love.

Never My Love- The Association  A little about my hometown...it is surrounded by hills on all sides so basically it is a little town buried in the hills.  Anyway radio reception was quite limited.  FM stations we predominately all we could receive.  We had an oldies station, a Hell-fire and brimstone Christian station, a pop station that played basically all of five songs each day, and a country radio station.  I manly listen to the oldies station because that is what my parents listened to(yes that sounds so nerdy but I admit it).  Anyway this song was playing on that said oldies station when I had my first kiss.  So you probably thought it was something more special but no it wasn't anything more than a kiss.

Die Antwort weiss ganz allein der Wind- Marlene Dietrich  I am not going to say anything about this song but you are going to have to find out who the composer and original artist of this song was.  If you speak German than, du bist ganz gut und wirst die Antwort jetzt haben. 

Sag mir wo die Blumen sind- Marlene Dietrich  I am not going to say anything about this song but you are going to
have to find out who the composer and original artist of this song
was.  If you speak German than, du bist ganz gut und wirst die Antwort
jetzt haben.

Du liegst mir im Herzen- Marlene Dietrich  I am partly German and enjoy speaking German and enjoy the culture except for the culture from 1930-1945.  Anyway this song is one of my favorite German songs and the title roughly translates to You Weigh on My Heart.  You can go to this website to see what the lyrics mean. 

Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuss auf Liebe eingestellt- Marlene Dietrich  I love this song.  I was introduced to it many years ago in a series of Mercedes Benz commercials which have been voted as the third best car ad according to Car and Driver magazine.  It is hard to think that tv commercials have inspired me to get into different types of music but it is true.  I love this style of music. I wish female singers of today would actually take time to sing a song and not fill it will euphemisms for anal sex.  Anyway go here for the lyrics in English and auf Deutsch. 

Die Lorelei  This is another German song.  It is about the famous sirens that lured sailors to bring the boats perilously close to the rocks with their beautiful songs.  This song is very beautiful.  Go to this website to read the lyrics. 

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair finally retired and this is his entrance theme for so many of his 35 years in wrestling.  I know it is a piece of classical music but I am too tired and lazy to look it up at the moment.

James K. Polk- They Might Be Giants  My favorite song about my favorite President.  You have to love the saw solo in this song too.  I have a feeling something like what happened when Polk got the nomination is going to happen this summer in Denver but then I don't know who the dark horse Democrat will be...Al Gore?  Bill Clinton?  George Clooney?  Me???

Song of the 50 States- They Might Be Giants  I think I would have enjoyed school much more if I had some of these songs to guide me on my studies even though this song doesn't mention all 50 states.  They Might Be Giants have put out some remarkable educational albums for young kids about the ABCs and now they have a counting album out.  Plus they taught that Istanbul was once named Constantinople.

Ball and Chain- They Might Be Giants  Yeah I love this song.  Takes me back to my high school days and all my nerdery.

Boys Don't Cry- The Cure  I really don't know how to end this music edition of my blog but I will go with one of my favorite songs of the moment.