So I was going to do this last weekend but for obvious reasons I wasn't able to get on the computer to write.  I was going to take you down one of my illustrated stories that are mildly amusing.  Anyway be forewarned, things may get graphic especially when you see some of my "family".  This is the story of one of my family reunions.

The family reunion started off with a nice wedding reception the night before.  You know I really enjoyed the wedding photographer that my family hired.  She must be a struggling artist because she couldn't afford any underwear.

We then had to hose off some of our "country" family.

Then all the "lookers" from Minnesota showed up.  Oddly there was no football game being played, they just dress like that all the time.

I had to look after one of my cousins while his parents went to the store.  He really takes after me.

Uncle Dave even showed up for the reunion.  Things haven't been going well for Uncle Dave since his wife left him.  At least she left him with her clothing and some cold beer.

True love was shown by some of my family members when they displayed their old wedding pictures and honeymoon pictures.  In case you can't read the sign it says, "She got me this morning but I'll get her tonight."  Ah true love.

Cousin Bobby proved to the family that thongs aren't meant to be worn by everyone.

My Aunt Linda and Uncle Doug showed up without their beloved dogs....well they did show up with their dogs but they were wearing them.  Yes, Linda and Doug turned their dogs into sweaters so that they can be kept warm and snuggly.

My cousins Cletus and Tommy couldn't make it to the reunion because they had a run in with the law.  It was nice to see that before they went in they were able to get some sun.

Rudy, the dog sure knows how to get down at our reunions.

One of my cousins graduated high school this spring and she also is getting married this summer.  So to kill two birds with one stone she unveiled her senior/wedding picture.  Yes, this story is actually partly true because I do have a cousin that graduated high school and next month gets married...that really makes me depressed.

It wasn't safe to take a nap with all our family's dogs running around.

My family sure knows how to get down.

My parents finally introduced me to my long last brother Bubba.  Wow, for those of you who know me I bet you are saying the resemblence is striking.  The Pabst, the gut, the manboobs, the beer flying everywhere, empty beer case on head...shocking.

Little Amy even came ready to party.

Cousin Daphne displayed part of her new job at the reunion.

Uncle Hector and Aunt Maria couldn't figure out why their son Mario never got married.  I guess our reunion revealed a lot about people like how some people like to kiss under the mistletoe and some enjoy kissing under the margarita.

My parents decided to display some of my grade school pictures.

Guys were lined up for miles to see my cousin Melissa stretching out at the beach.

My dad showed up and did some posing for pictures.  Surprisingly the guns my dad posed with are completely real unlike the guitars he has.  Oh, dad, you are so embarassing.

Grandma and her friends from the senior center took a break to help "cure" their collective glaucoma.

My grandma and grandpa took some time out of their hectic swinging lifestyle to enjoy the reunion.

Even our dog, Henry the Second, took some time out of his hectic swinging lifestyle to be at the reunion.  To be honest this ended badly.

Some of my cousins even took the time to audition for the Rad Girls.  If you haven't seen that show, look it up.

Things got pretty wild at the lake when the gators came out to play.

Our reunion was filled with so much debauchery that Fred Phelps himself came to protest our wild and wanton ways.

Uncle Leonard got the biggest thrill of his life at the Root Beer Stand when the lady in the booth next to him had a sudden wardrobe malfunction.

Overall it was the best family reunion ever.

Well this blogger needs to go take a breathing treatment.  Hope you got some laughs out of this posting and weren't completely disgusted.