Post 498 and this is my 1137 day as a member of Xanga.  Oh I am getting a little bit of moisture forming in the corners of my eyes.  In my mind that is quite the accomplishment.  I have sacrificed a personal life for this website.  Well, maybe not so much a sacrifice given my hideous features but it still has been a lot of fun.  Wow, it sounds like I am shutting this down.  No, I'm not, just getting a little sentimental. 

I was just thinking about trying to find a girlfriend and you know I have no game.  It got me wondering how did some of the key historical figures in the world get women.  Here are some of their pick-up lines.

"Space-time isn't the only thing that is curved."-Albert Einstein
"Fetch me some calomel, Ms. Hemmings, I think I may have come down with jungle fever."-Thomas Jefferson
"How would you like to be Beethoven's fifth?"-Beethoven
"You know, there are certain things I could eat during my hunger strike."-Gandhi
"Your palace looks like it could use a sturdy column."-Julius Caesar
"United we stand, divided we fall...catch my drift?"-Abraham Lincoln
"Baby, you're the bomb."-Harry S Truman
"Your name must be Grace because you are irresistible."-Martin Luther(yes, all my years of theology are being put to use in writing a pick up line for Martin Luther)
"Come with me and I'll make you the Princess of Wails."-Prince Charles
"I'd like to drop anchor in your lagoon."-Magellan
"Avast! Prepare to be boarded."-Blackbeard
"I like my women like I like my DNA: unzipping my genes."-Linus Pauling
"Let's have a debate: I'll be a cultural relativist and you can adopt the missionary position."- Franz Boas(I didn't know this guy until tonight but I found that pick up line so I had to use it. He proposed the theory of cultural relativist)
"Yes, I am proud of helping to repeal the Stamp Act but I'd rather repeal that dress from you." Benjamin Franklin
" If you sign this non-aggression pact I promise to only blitzkrieg your western front."-Adolf Hitler
"Stalin means “made of steel”.  I didn’t get the nickname for my ruling ability."-Josef Stalin
"You’re making a Civil Rights Movement in my pants." Martin Luther King Jr.
"You wanna hear about my dream about you and I?"- Martin Luther King Jr.
"You’ve seen my face on Mount Rushmore, but wait till you see my face when I mount you."-Theodore Roosevelt
"Actually, the happiest place on earth is my bedroom."-Walt Disney
"What time do you get off work because I feel an uprising in my lower class?"- Karl Marx
"I lost my telephone patent, can I have yours?"- Elisha Gray
"Want to take a midnight ride?  I'll give a signal for when I am coming: one if by pink, two if by stink."- Paul Revere
"I'd like to thank you ahead of time for the fun we will have tonight."- Nostradamus
"I've got a huge part for you but only if you dress like a man."- Shakespeare
"Ich bin....how do you say 'hard as a rock' in German?"- JFK
"I'm going to split you in half."- King Solomon
If you have any that you would like to submit, please send them my way in a comment.

Please don't be mad at me.  I love your freckles.  I am an aspiring writer and my first screenplay is entitled Snow White and my Seven Inches.  Do you want to audition for the role of Snow White?  Those pick up lines are contagious.

They only sell white bread here.

This is the real papal throne.

OH THE IRONY!

Well they didn't get the name Friendlys for nothing.  I think I may have to eat there some day.

Well, that is good to know.

My prostate thanks you for the reminder, Spanky.  Haha Spanky!

I don't know if I want to be like Gandhi and taste Mrs. Filbert.

So that is the source of Skittles new chocolate flavored Skittles.  mmmm...Taste the Rainbow!

Why, yes, that is subliminal architecture.

Feedback like this is why I don't use eBay.  You may have to enlarge it to read it.  Quite funny.

Sometimes stereotypes are based on reality.

Tomorrow, I'll try to be back with a Celebrity Round-Up.  Oh yeah and I have to update you on the Chuck Palahniuk book "Haunted".  The book is a story of a group of aspiring authors going to a 3 month writing workshop and the 23 stories included are the stories that they produced.  I read the story that he reads when he goes on book signing tours and well I didn't faint but I did get nauseous and at one point had to put down the book because I was feeling phantom pain.  The story is called "Guts".  If you are brave, he has it posted on his website and here is a direct link to the story.  There is also some interesting information about possible movies and a brief description of his next book.

Well I have to go now.  One of my cats is is wrapping her front legs around my arm to try to get my attention.