Today started off looking like it would be quite craptastic.  I woke up and felt horrible.  I heard kids outside across the street screaming and yelling.  Damn it, I live across the street from a bus stop.  I don't know why today was the first day I found out given that they have been in school for a couple weeks.  Anyway I guess I am either out of the house or sleeping so soundly that I hear nothing.  I think my sleeping is bad because I have my cellphone and landline phone on a stand next to my head and sometimes I sleep through all the ringing.  I got up and took my medicine and was thinking of eating breakfast but my stomach told me otherwise.  The pain was horrible.  I think I described before the time I had a dog bite me and try to rip off my finger.  The stomach pain was similar.  It felt like the dog biting and trying to tear my insides.  I laid out and read a few chapters of Catcher in the Rye and got a phone call from the jewelry store that my watch was finished.  I bought a watch on bidz.com a while back but it was to small and then I went through my illness and I could wear it but it was snug so I had some plates added.  I cleaned up and went to the store and then I decided to go somewhere else on the rainy day.  I was thinking state park but it was raining.  I went to the next best place, the casino.  I had $5 on me when I went in and I hit the roullete table and I did quite well.  I think with what I won, I have everything covered for the month.  They should let people who are exploring their psychic ablities play games of chance.  I came home and made some chop suey and then I went out for a walk.   I came home and at some Gobstoppers and read some more.  My day sounds boring but I had a lot of fun.  Now I just have to figure out how to sleep through the bus stop time frame or just wake up beforehand.  Well it is time for some random pictures and hotlinks.

Too bad the Democratic headquarters that I visited on Tuesday didn't have lip disks.

Our military is continuing to win the hearts and minds of Iraqis.  I think they are trying to tell us that we are #1.

This photo of Dick Cheney was on the actual White House website.  Look closely at his glasses...do you see the naked girl?  WTF!

U.S. Immigration is playing "What's wrong with this car" for the new recruits.

Here is a totally innocent Sega advertisement.  How could I be a teenage kid and not notice this?

This reminds me of my high school biology class.  My teacher was a total closeted douche bag.  He lived in another teacher's, whom I'll call football coach, basement.  Anyway the biology teacher decorated his rooms in the basement with photos of muscle men and other random men in bikini briefs.  The football coach's daughter was in my class and she snuck down to his room and tore some of the posters off the wall and brough them to school.  Anyway when it was time to learn about human reproduction, the class took a weird term.  The teacher had some strange fear of saying the word penis.  He just referred to them as the male parts.  Anyway someone in my class suggested that we needed to see some sperm under the microscopes but the teacher said no.  Anyway it just divulged into this back and forth and eventually he asked for a volunteer to offer a sample.  High school.  The next day we asked if he had a volunteer and he said no and there wouldn't be a need.  Then my lab partner, who definitely knew the name, asked what the name for the male part was.  The teacher said turn to page whatever and look at the diagram but she said she didn't know how to pernounce it.  Well after 30 minutes of coaxing, he had a near nervous breakdown and started shouting, PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS.  A teacher down the hall left his classroom and walked in ours and asked what was going on.  Memories are fun.

This is a scene for the forthcoming Girls Gone Wild: Fargo Edition.

Together. Forever.

Oh, the condoms are in full bloom this time of year.

I wonder what they will tell their kids when they see this yearbook photo.  I wonder if it will be as awkward as a conversation my dad had with me when I found his yearbook and read all the nicknames people had for him...Limpy...Rocky...Queenie...See I never let people write in my yearbooks so that I wouldn't have to do any explaining of course it may look like I had no friends but I have memories.  I didn't let anyone sign my college yearbooks either...yeah people signed each other's yearbooks at my college.  Some have said that play was a glorified high school.

Statue for three....YES!

Yes, but the Nintendo Wii is far superior.

HOTLINKS!
Here's a fun little game that lets you match songs to albums on which they appeared.  Make sure you have your speakers on.

This is a list of 5 movies that were ruined by last minute changes.  First Blood, the first Rambo movie didn't make the list.  I think the last minute change in that movie saved it from being a bomb and also made it into a franchise.  See at the end of the original cut of the movie Rambo kills himself.  Audiences hated the ending, guess they never read the book.  Thankfully the director changed the ending so now we had Rambo or whatever it was called.  Rambo 3 was interesting because he helped the Taliban. 

The school year is upon us and if you were anything like me when I was in school, I liked to unwind after tests with some binge drinking and drinking games.  My blog does not condone binge drinking but I do love drinking games.  Here are some rules of some of the more popular games.  If only I had this website a few St. Patty's Days ago. 

Oh, to be the king of Swaziland.

This is for fellow nerds or teachers, hopefully nerdy teachers.  I wish I had this when I taught.  The concept of time was near impossible for me to teach because it was just one of those things I got.  Unfortunately I had a student that couldn't tell time other than what was displayed on his digital watch. 

Have you ever just looked at your cupboards and thought there was absolutely nothing that you could make?  Well this is a trusty website that lets you enter in which ingredients you have and what you can make with said ingredients.

You can go to school online for a myriad of subjects.  I now present the website for the first online clown school.  Sign me up now.

Someone really hates Jon and Kate Plus 8.  I have seen snippets of the show and I haven't been amused.  I don't get the draw.  OK, a family struggling with 8 kids is interesting but then they started pimping out their kids for swag and cosmetic surgery.  My favorite line is the last line.  I wish I could have said that to so many parents at my school.

This is why I hate going to bars that advertise special secret house drinks and they don't list the ingredients.  I understand the whole thing about wanting something unique for your place but something like this can happen to people with food allergies.  I want to learn how to make a Purple Monkey from Monk's Bar and Grill and any online search has yielded nothing to date.  I hear bartenders have to sign release forms that say they will never give away the secret recipe.  Someday...someday.

This guy on craigslist has decided to list out all the women he has been with.  It is rather amusing.  I don't understand how guys can go through the ladies like that but that is just me.

This is a new blog that features some suspicious looking vans.  I remember a guy that lived in my hometown when I was a kid that had this sci-fi scene painted on the side of his van and every parent warned their children never to go near that van.  I think they were trying to have us avoid getting a contact high.

With my earlier speech about yearbooks I thought I would include this site.  You can upload one of your pictures and see what you would have looked like in different time periods.

Does anyone want to help me bid in this auction?  Too bad she isn't giving the good to the highest bidder but whomever she "connects" with...what a gyp!  You know, I'm not at all shocked this was announced on Howard Stern's show.

I am thinking this blog is based on something from Superbad.  If you think the link is bad, you should have seen how the Romans decorated the insides of their houses.

This story is what seperates America from the rest of the world.  People actually WANT to pay taxes.  Not jsut regular people, but PROSTITUTES!  I miss those three years when I was a ordained minister and was tax exempt.

Is something missing from your music?  I think I know what is wrong.  It needs more cowbell.  Go to this site, upload your song of choice, and select how much cowbell you need.  I've got a fever and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!

Well that is it for today.  I will be back tomorrow with a Celebrity Round Up.  I didn't mention 9/11 in this post.  Yes, today is 9/11.  I do not have fond memories of that day.  It's not that I was there or suffered extereme anxiety, it's just that I slept through everything.  I woke up at 10:30 CST after a night of free drinking at the bar because a friend was tending.  A friend was wandering the hallways looking like he had seen a ghost.  I found out what happened and then learned all my classes were cancelled.  All I know is that I still get choked up when I hear the song Jesus Etc. by Wilco which was written before the attacks.  I also want to sue anyone who claims that Nostradamus of anyone predicted the attacks of 9/11 and put them up on breaking Good Samaritan Laws because they knew it was going to happen.  What really hurt me was the fact that most of those people who died didn't get a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones.  Make sure you tell those around you your feelings for them, tell your significant other that you love them, hug your kids, live your life.  Until tomorrow.