What You'll Need:
                            1 Gallon unfiltered apple juice(in glass bottle)
                            1 packet bread yeast (eg Fleishman's or Res Star)<1>
                            4-6 Cups brown and/or white sugar
                            1 party balloon (buy a pack, sometimes they break)<2>

Pour off a glass or so worth of apple juice and set it aside (you'll need some of it in a bit).  Put the sugar into a sauce pan.  More sugar means a sweeter cider and more alcohol, darker sugar means a darker cider with a stronger flavor. I might do 2 1/2 cups of each.

Add enough apple juice to the saucepan to dissolve the sugar over low heat.  You shouldn't need more than half of the remaining cider.

Once the sugar is dissolved, let the mixture cool slightly, and pour it back into the bottle (use a funnel if you need to).  The bottle should now be full of warm extra-sweet juice.

Toss in about 1/2 tsp of yeast (a yeast packet usually holds a little over 2 tsp, so don't throw in the whole thing), and top off the bottle with the juice you set aside in step 1.  Leave a few inches at the top of the bottle, don't let it get too full.

Wash the powdered anti-stick stuff out of the balloon, and prick it with a pin.  Then place the balloon on the top of the bottle.  The pinprick will be enough to let air escape from the bottle, but not big enough to let any nasty bacteria back in.

That's it.  Let sit for 2-3 weeks.
After 2-3 weeks, you will need to "rack" the cider.  Racking is the process of siphoning the cider off the top of the lees(dead yeast).  You can use a siphon if you want, but if you're careful, the 1-gallon bottle is small enough that you can usually just pour the good stuff off the top.  Don't worry if you get a little lees along with the cider, since you have to rack it again, anyway.  Replace the balloon (use a new one if necessary) and let the cider continue to ferment.

Rack the cider again every 2-3 weeks until there is no more lees at the bottom of the bottle.  The cider is drinkable at any stage, but it starts to get good at about 2-3 months, and excellent around 9 months and like wine it will get better with age.

IMPORTANT: Please make sure that you do not reseal the juice bottle with its original lid until you are completely sure that there is no live yeast left.  This kind of bottle was not made to handle pressure, and if you have any live yeast left over, you risk building up more pressure than the bottle can handle.  Since the cap screws on stronger than the glass can hold, if it blows, you'll end up with sticky broken glass all over your kitchen (or wherever you chose to set your brew).  Trust me, you don't want that.

<1>You're more than welcome to substitute a beer, cider, or ale yeast for the bread yeast.  It will change the flavor of the end result, so you might want to try several different yeasts to see which you prefer.

<2> Of course, you can also use a standard brewing airlock.  They only cost about $2 and can be picked up at any brew store.  Just make sure that you get a rubber stopper big enough not to fall through the opening on the juice bottle (7 1/2 or 8 will probably do the trick but its recommended that you measure).

It's Wednesday already.  My day was pretty lackluster except I got to talk to an old family friend.  My dad had to leave for work so I had to wait at his house for this guy to show up to fix the washer and dryer.  We talked about how I am dying and then how he is getting older and how he misses his oldest son who "accidentally" shot himself with a shotgun.  Then we talked about all the apples and how my grandfather had this great orchard which was actually just the lot next to his that had like 15 apple trees on it.  Oh and we talked about Vietnam.  This guy was into some heavy shit.  He mentioned some stuff about tunnel rats and well it was emotional. Turns out he fixed the washer and said that the parts were getting obsolete and that my dad would be better off buying a new one.  Also he said that the washer and dryer were probably older than I am by about 10 to 15 years.  Then I took a nap.  Fun times.  I made tacos for supper and plain old tacos weren't good enough for me because I bought double decker taco kits.  Yeah, I totally ate tonight.  Hamburger, peppers, onions, refried beans, hot sauce, guacamole, and cheese.  Then of course tortilla chips and salsa.  After washing up I sat down to watch the Springer episodes that I tape during the week.  It was so calm and quiet that I just sat watching the night sky.  It was oh so quiet.  Then the peacefulness was shattered by a gun shot.  I live in town across the street from a library.  There are some projects across the street but those low income housing units are taken by people in their 80s and welfare cases who have like 10 kids by 10 different men.  I think the Amish are after me because they found out some of the things I posted about them.  Well I heard no sirens and no police came knocking on my door so I watched the Springer and then Sons of Anarchy.  I guess I am getting into that show because I would like to make my own bike some day.  Speaking of bikes, tomorrow I plan a ride.  I need to get out before it gets cold.  I believe I will do 20 miles.  I like being out in the sun and alone in nature on the country roads because then it gets my mind off of how I want to meet a mate to hold me, thrill me, and kiss me.  Well if you clicked on any of those links you probably see what a sick sense of humor I have.  Time for some comic books.

Superman playing a witch doctor and forcing Jimmy Olsen to marry an ape?  You would have thought that with all the crap that happened to him, Jimmy Olsen would have killed himself.

But you can't ruin Pat Boone's masterpiece!  What a dick!  Let Pat Boone ruin his own career.  Did he even have a career.  The only songs I ever remember him singing are covers.  His first was a cover of Little Richard's "Tutti Fruity".  See Pat made it into a non-threatening white version.  Then he also released an album of him covering heavy metal classics.  Oh Pat, you should have let Superman stop you.

I don't think a comic book could be less exciting.  Strong Man versus a helicopter?  WTF!  Is the helicopter evil?  I do think there is something sexually suggestive of the strong man wielding that long pole or maybe it is just me noticing my own inadequecies. 

The Daily Planet is probably the only office in the world where seemingly harmless pranks are always potentially fatal.

This is a classic.  I didn't know Archie was that way.  Look at the looks on the guys' faces.  I think they enjoyed Archie's work. 

Didn't they ever test him for ADHD?  Maybe they should have given him ritalin. 

Don't do it!  It's a trap!  Chris Hansen from Datline NBC's To Catch a Predator is waiting.  He'll tell you to take a seat!

Fantastic Fingers?  I knew a guy in high school that had that nickname among our female classmates.

Happy Father's Day, you dick!  I can't believe Jimmy Olsen went along with Superman adopting him. 

Superman looks disgusted.  He must finally realize that he is a dick either that or he's hungry and wants him a sammich.

Superman is probably framing Batman because that is the type of dick Superman is.  He is also hiding a barrel of rotten vegetables to throw at Batman.

Wow, Superman is actually saying something that I wish I could have said to a couple of my exs.

Well that is all for this evening.  I will be back tomorrow with something random.  I might be late because I am thinking of doing some tubthumping or making some hard apple cider.  Oh and I posted a number of new songs on my audio blog.  You would be angels if you went to check them out.  You will also be an angel if you aren't pissed off at me and all these links.  Until tomorrow, have a good day.