Day: October 13, 2008

  • Surprise Third Candidate for President

    I am shocked by this.  There is another candidate in the presidential election and he is making heads spin. 

    You can check it out here.

  • Chuck E. Cheese


    Chuck E.
    Cheese:
    Alright,
    from the top! No one leaves 'til we get this down.
    Helen Henny:
    C'mon Chuck, you've had us locked up here forever.
    Mr. Munch:
    Yeah, we could use a break.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    We don't stop. We never, ever stop. From the top gang.
    *The Pizza Time Players start rocking out but Mr Munch can't keep up with
    the pace on the piano*
    Chuck E. Cheese: Stop. STOP! What's the problem Munch?
    Mr. Munch:
    My fingers hurt. It feels like they're on fire.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    No pain, no gain. Jasper Jowls how we doin' over there, ya
    mutt?
    Jasper T. Jowls:
    I need water.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    Have another slice of pizza.
    Jasper:
    No. No more pizza. Please. Just water.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    You'll get your bowl later. From the top! One and a tw-
    Pasqually:
    Theese is inhumana ah Mista Cheeeese.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    Shut the fuck up Squally. You want to go back to making
    pizzas for 2 dollars an hour in Hell's Kitchen? Because I don't think your lil
    daughter would like that, I heard she's fitting in well at that new prep school
    you're sending her to. Wouldn't want an unexpected cut in your financial
    stability now would we?
    Pasqually:
    That is family money from grandfather in old country. You pay
    scraps in coins and tickets -- no one accepts this tender.
    Chuch E. Cheese: Or maybe I'll call my brother-in-law at the INS and see
    what he has to say about your expired work visa.
    Helen: You have to admit, Pasqual has a point Chuck.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    Two things. We're not friends so stop calling me Chuck.
    It's Charles. In fact, make that Mr. Cheese. And stop dressing like a bimbo,
    you're here to sing not score side action from disgruntled Dads during their
    son's 10th Birthday Party. Clean up your act or you're out.
    Helen:
    *tears up* You're a monster, Mr. Cheese.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    *laughs* The only monster here is a Grimace ripoff
    who can't play keyboard for shit.
    Mr. Munch looks sufficiently defeated with his head down in the gutters.
    Mr. Munch:
    *under his breath, barely audible* I hate you rat.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    What was that?!? What did you call me? I'm a mouse, not a
    filthy rat.
    Pasqually:
    When I work at pizza parlor I see many big rat and I believe you
    rat, with all due respect, ah Mista Cheese.
    Chuck E. Cheese:
    Why are you even here Pasqually? You're a human, go clean
    up after us animals and the monster.
    Jasper: So thirsty.
    Helen Henny's tears cause her to malfunction and catch fire, the flame
    quickly ingnites the entire stage. Jasper T. Jowls passes out from dehydration.
    Pasqually tries to run but realizes he's bolted to the stage. Mr. Munch accepts
    his fate with quiet dignity.

    Chuck E. Cheese:
    From the top.

    If you don't understand Chuck E. Cheese go here or maybe you know it as ShowBiz Pizza.  I had both near me so I was doubly blessed.  That ShowBiz Pizza website is a fansite.  I sometimes go there to wax nostalgic.

  • Happy Columbus Day

    From my tribe to yours...

    Columbus and the Beginning of Genocide in the "New World"

    It has been contended by those who would celebrate Columbus that
    accusations concerning his perpetration of genocide are distortive
    "revisions" of history. Whatever the process unleashed by his
    "discovery" of the "New World," it is said, the discoverer himself
    cannot be blamed. Whatever his defects and offenses, they are surpassed
    by the luster of his achievements; however "tragic" or "unfortunate"
    certain dimensions of his legacy may be, they are more than offset by
    the benefits even for the victims of the resulting blossoming of a
    "superior civilization" in the Americas. Essentially the same arguments
    might be advanced with regard to Adolf Hitler: Hitler caused the
    Volkswagen to be created, after all, and the autobahn. His leadership
    of Germany led to jet propulsion, significant advances in rocket
    telemetry, laid the foundation for genetic engineering. Why not
    celebrate his bona fide accomplishments on behalf of humanity rather
    than "dwelling" so persistently on the genocidal by-products of his
    policies? To be fair, Columbus was never a head of state. Comparisons
    of him to Nazi SS leader Heinrich Himmler, rather than Hitler, are
    therefore more accurate and appropriate. It is time to delve into the
    substance of the defendants' assertion that Columbus and Himmler, Nazi
    Lebensraumpolitik (conquest of "living space" in eastern Europe) and
    the "settlement of the New World" bear more than casual resemblance to
    one another. This has nothing to do with the Columbian "discovery," not
    that this in itself is completely irrelevant. Columbus did not sally
    forth upon the Atlantic for reasons of "neutral science" or altruism.
    He went, as his own diaries, reports, and letters make clear, fully
    expecting to encounter wealth belonging to others. It was his stated
    purpose to seize this wealth, by whatever means necessary and
    available, in order to enrich both his sponsors and himself. Plainly,
    he pre-figured, both in design and by intent, what came next. To this
    extent, he not only symbolizes the process of conquest and genocide
    which eventually consumed the indigenous peoples of America, but bears
    the personal responsibility of having participated in it. Still, if
    this were all there was to it, the defendants would be inclined to
    dismiss him as a mere thug along the lines of Al Capone rather than
    viewing him as a counterpart to Himmler.

    The 1492 "voyage of discovery" is, however, hardly all that is at
    issue. In 1493 Columbus returned with an invasion force of seventeen
    ships, appointed at his own request by the Spanish Crown to install
    himself as "viceroy and governor of [the Caribbean islands] and the
    mainland" of America, a position he held until 1500. Setting up shop on
    the large island he called Espa–ola (today Haiti and the Dominican
    Republic), he promptly instituted policies of slavery (encomiendo) and
    systematic extermination against the native Taino population.
    Columbus's programs reduced Taino numbers from as many as eight million
    at the outset of his regime to about three million in 1496. Perhaps
    100,000 were left by the time of the governor's departure. His
    policies, however, remained, with the result that by 1514 the Spanish
    census of the island showed barely 22,000 Indians remaining alive. In
    1542, only two hundred were recorded. Thereafter, they were considered
    extinct, as were Indians throughout the Caribbean Basin, an aggregate
    population which totaled more than fifteen million at the point of
    first contact with the Admiral of the Ocean Sea, as Columbus was known.
    This, to be sure, constitutes an attrition of population in real
    numbers every bit as great as the toll of twelve to fifteen million
    about half of them Jewish most commonly attributed to Himmler's
    slaughter mills. Moreover, the proportion of indigenous Caribbean
    population destroyed by the Spanish in a single generation is, no
    matter how the figures are twisted, far greater than the seventy-five
    percent of European Jews usually said to have been exterminated by the
    Nazis. Worst of all, these data apply only to the Caribbean Basin; the
    process of genocide in the Americas was only just beginning at the
    point such statistics become operant, not ending, as they did upon the
    fall of the Third Reich. All told, it is probable that more than one
    hundred million native people were "eliminated" in the course of
    Europe's ongoing "civilization" of the Western Hemisphere.

    It has long been asserted by "responsible scholars" that this
    decimation of American Indians which accompanied the European invasion
    resulted primarily from disease rather than direct killing or conscious
    policy. There is a certain truth to this, although starvation may have
    proven just as lethal in the end. It must be borne in mind when
    considering such facts that a considerable portion of those who
    perished in the Nazi death camps died, not as the victims of bullets
    and gas, but from starvation, as well as epidemics of typhus,
    dysentery, and the like. Their keepers, who could not be said to have
    killed these people directly, were nonetheless found to have been
    culpable in their deaths by way of deliberately imposing the conditions
    which led to the proliferation of starvation and disease among them.
    Certainly, the same can be said of Columbus's regime, under which the
    original residents were, as a first order of business, permanently
    dispossessed of their abundant cultivated fields while being converted
    into chattel, ultimately to be worked to death for the wealth and
    "glory" of Spain.

    Nor should more direct means of extermination be relegated to
    incidental status. As the matter is put by Kirkpatrick Sale in hisrecent book, Conquest of Paradise,

    The tribute system, instituted by the Governor sometime in 1495, was a
    simple and brutal way of fulfilling the Spanish lust for gold while
    acknowledging the Spanish distaste for labor. Every Taino over the age
    of fourteen had to supply the rulers with a hawk's bell of gold every
    three months (or in gold-deficient areas, twenty-five pounds of spun
    cotton); those who did were given a token to wear around their necks as
    proof that they had made their payment; those who did not were, as
    [Columbus's brother, Fernando] says discreetly "punished"-by having
    their hands cut off, as [the priest, Bartolom,, de] las Casas says less
    discreetly, and left to bleed to death.

    It is entirely likely that upwards of 10,000 Indians were killed in
    this fashion alone, on Espa–ola alone, as a matter of policy, during
    Columbus's tenure as governor. Las Casas' Brev’sima relaci—n, among
    other contemporaneous sources, is also replete with accounts of Spanish
    colonists (hidalgos) hanging Tainos en masse, roasting them on spits or
    burning them at the stake (often a dozen or more at a time), hacking
    their children into pieces to be used as dog feed and so forth, all of
    it to instill in the natives a "proper attitude of respect" toward
    their Spanish "superiors." [The Spaniards] made bets as to who would
    slit a man in two, or cut off his head at one blow; or they opened up
    his bowels. They tore the babes from their mother's breast by their
    feet and dashed their heads against the rocks...They spitted the bodies
    of other babes, together with their mothers and all who were before
    them, on their swords.

    No SS trooper could be expected to comport himself with a more
    unrelenting viciousness. And there is more. All of this was coupled to
    wholesale and persistent massacres:
    A Spaniard...suddenly drew his sword. Then the whole hundred drew
    theirs and began to rip open the bellies, to cut and kill [a group of
    Tainos assembled for this purpose] men, women, children and old folk,
    all of whom were seated, off guard and frightened...And within two
    credos, not a man of them there remains alive. The Spaniards enter the
    large house nearby, for this was happening at its door, and in the same
    way, with cuts and stabs, began to kill as many as were found there, so
    that a stream of blood was running, as if a great number of cows had
    perished.

    Elsewhere, las Casas went on to recount how
    in this time, the greatest outrages and slaughterings of people were
    perpetrated, whole villages being depopulated...The Indians saw that
    without any offense on their part they were despoiled of their
    kingdoms, their lands and liberties and of their lives, their wives,
    and homes. As they saw themselves each day perishing by the cruel and
    inhuman treatment of the Spaniards, crushed to earth by the horses, cut
    in pieces by swords, eaten and torn by dogs, many buried alive and
    suffering all kinds of exquisite tortures... [many surrendered to their
    fate, while the survivors] fled to the mountains [to starve].

    Such descriptions correspond almost perfectly to those of systematic
    Nazi atrocities in the western USSR offered by William Shirer in
    Chapter 27 of The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. But, unlike the
    Nazi extermination campaigns of World War II the Columbian butchery on
    Espa–ola continued until there were no Tainos left to butcher.

    Evolution of the Columbian Legacy

    Nor was this by any means the end of it. The genocidal model for
    conquest and colonization established by Columbus was to a large extent
    replicated by others such as Cortez (in Mexico) a Pizarro (in Peru)
    during the following half-century. During the same period, expeditions
    such as those of Ponce de Leon in 1513, Coronado in 1540, and de Soto
    during the same year were launched with an eye towards effecting the
    same pattern on the North American continent proper. In the latter
    sphere the Spanish example was followed and in certain ways intensified
    by the British, beginning at Roanoake in 1607 and Plymouth in 1620.
    Overall the process of English colonization along the Atlantic Coast
    was marked by a series of massacres of native people as relentless and
    devastating as any perpetrated by the Spaniards. One of the best known
    illustrations drawn from among hundreds was the slaughter of some 800
    Pequots at present-day Mystic, Connecticut, on the night of May 26,
    1637.

    During the latter portion of the seventeenth century, and throughout
    most of the eighteenth, Great Britain battled France for colonial
    primacy in North America. The resulting sequence of four "French and
    Indian Wars" greatly accelerated the liquidation of indigenous people
    as far west as the Ohio River Valley. During the last of these,
    concluded in 1763 history's first documentable case of biological
    warfare occurred against Pontiac's Algonkian Confederacy, a powerful
    military alliance aligned with the French.

    Sir Jeffrey Amherst, commander-in-chief of the British forces...wrote
    in a postscript of a letter to Bouquet [a subordinate] that smallpox be
    sent among the disaffected tribes. Bouquet replied, also in a
    postscript, "I will try to [contaminate] them...with some blankets that
    may fall into their hands, and take care not to get the disease
    myself."...To Bouquet's postscript Amherst replied, "You will do well
    to [infect] the Indians by means of blankets as well as to try every
    other method that can serve to extirpate this execrable race." On June
    24, Captain Ecuyer, of the Royal Americans, noted in his journal:
    "...we gave them two blankets and a handkerchief out of the smallpox
    hospital. I hope it will have the desired effect."

    It did. Over the next few months, the disease spread like wildfire
    among the Mingo, Delaware, Shawnee, and other Ohio River nations,
    killing perhaps 100,000 people. The example of Amherst's action does
    much to dispel the myth that the post contact attrition of Indian
    people through disease; introduced by Europeans was necessarily
    unintentional and unavoidable. There are a number earlier instances in
    which native people felt disease, had been deliberately inculcated
    among them. For example, the so-called "King Philip's War" of 1675-76
    was fought largely because the Wampanoag and Narragansett nations
    believed English traders had consciously contaminated certain of their
    villages with smallpox. Such tactics were also continued by the United
    States after the American Revolution. At Fort Clark on the upper
    Missouri River, for instance, the U.S. Army distributed smallpox-laden
    blankets as gifts among the Mandan. The blankets had been gathered from
    a military infirmary in St. Louis where troops infected with the
    disease were quarantined. Although the medical practice of the day
    required the precise opposite procedure, army doctors ordered the
    Mandans to disperse once they exhibited symptoms of infection. The
    result was a pandemic among the Plains Indian nations who claimed at
    least 125,000 lives, and may have reached a toll several times that
    number.

    Contemporaneously with the events at Fort Clark, the U.S. was also
    engaged in a policy of wholesale "removal" of indigenous nations east
    of the Mississippi River, "clearing" the land of its native population
    so that it might be "settled" by "racially superior" Anglo-Saxon
    "pioneers." This resulted in a series of extended forced marches some
    more than a thousand miles in length in which entire peoples were
    walked at bayonet-point to locations west of the Mississippi. Rations
    and medical attention were poor, shelter at times all but nonexistent.
    Attrition among the victims was correspondingly high. As many as
    fifty-five percent of all Cherokees, for example, are known to have
    died during or as an immediate result of that people's "Trail of
    Tears." The Creeks and Seminoles also lost about half their existing
    populations as a direct consequence of being "removed." It was the
    example of nineteenth-century U.S. Indian Removal policy upon which
    Adolf Hitler relied for a practical model when articulating and
    implementing his Lebensraumpolitik during the 1930s and '40s.

    By the 1850s, U.S. policymakers had adopted a popular philosophy called
    "Manifest Destiny" by which they imagined themselves enjoying a
    divinely ordained right to possess all native property, including
    everything west of the Mississippi. This was coupled to what has been
    termed a "rhetoric of extermination" by which governmental and
    corporate leaders sought to shape public sentiment to embrace the
    eradication of American Indians. The professed goal of this physical
    reduction of "inferior" indigenous populations was to open up land for
    "superior" Euro-American "pioneers." One outcome of this dual
    articulation was a series of general massacres perpetrated by the
    United States military.

    A bare sampling of some of the worst must include the 1854 massacre of
    perhaps 150 Lakotas at Blue River (Nebraska), the 1863 Bear River
    (Idaho) Massacre of some 500 Western Shoshones, the 1864 Sand Creek
    (Colorado) Massacre of as many as 250 Cheyennes and Arapahoes, the 1868
    massacre of another 300 Cheyennes at the Washita River (Oklahoma), the
    1875 massacre of about 75 Cheyennes along the Sappa Creek (Kansas), the
    1878 massacre of still another 100 Cheyennes at Camp Robinson
    (Nebraska), and the 1890 massacre of more than 300 Lakotas at Wounded
    Knee (South Dakota).

    Related phenomena included the army's internment of the bulk of all
    Navajos for four years (1864-68) under abysmal conditions at the Bosque
    Redondo, during which upwards of a third of the population of this
    nation is known to have perished of starvation and disease. Even worse
    in some ways was the unleashing of Euro-American civilians to kill
    Indians at whim, and sometimes for profit. In Texas, for example, an
    official bounty on native scalps any native scalps was maintained until
    well into the 1870s. The result was that the indigenous population of
    this state, once the densest in all of North America, had been reduced
    to near zero by 1880. As it has been put elsewhere, "The facts of
    history are plain: Most Texas Indians were exterminated or brought to
    the brink of oblivion by [civilians] who often had no more regard for
    the life of an Indian than they had for that of a dog, sometimes less."
    Similarly, in California, "the enormous decrease [in indigenous
    population] from about a quarter-million [in 1800] to less than 20,000
    is due chiefly to the cruelties and wholesale massacres perpetrated by
    miners and early settlers."

    Much of the killing in California and southern Oregon Territory
    resulted, directly and indirectly, from the discovery of gold in 1849
    and the subsequent influx of miners and settlers. Newspaper accounts
    document the atrocities, as do oral histories of the California Indians
    today. It was not uncommon for small groups or villages to be attacked
    by immigrants...and virtually wiped out overnight.


    All told, the North American Indian population within the area of the
    forty-eight contiguous states of the United States, an aggregate group
    which had probably numbered in excess of twelve million in the year
    1500, was reduced by official estimates to barely more than 237,000
    four centuries later. This vast genocide historically paralleled in its
    magnitude and degree only by that which occurred in the Caribbean Basin
    is the most sustained on record. Corresponding almost perfectly with
    this upper-ninetieth-percentile

    erosion of indigenous population by 1900 was the expropriation of about
    97.5 percent of native land by 1920. The situation in Canada was/is
    entirely comparable. Plainly, the Nazi-esque dynamics set in motion by
    Columbus in 1492 continued, and were not ultimately consummated until
    the present century.

    The Columbian Legacy in the United States

    While it is arguable that the worst of the genocidal programs directed
    against Native North America had ended by the twentieth century, it
    seems undeniable that several continue into the present. One obvious
    illustration is the massive compulsory transfer of American Indian
    children from their families, communities, and societies to
    Euro-American families and institutions, a policy which is quite
    blatant in its disregard for Article l(e) of the 1948 Convention.
    Effected through such mechanisms as the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs
    (BIA) boarding school system, and a pervasive policy of placing Indian
    children for adoption (including "blind" adoption) with non-Indians,
    such circumstances have been visited upon more than three-quarters of
    indigenous youth in some generations after 1900. The stated goal of
    such policies has been to bring about the "assimilation" of native
    people into the value orientations and belief system of their
    conquerors. Rephrased, the objective has been to bring about the
    disappearance of indigenous societies as such, a patent violation of
    the terms, provisions, and intent of the Genocide Convention (Article
    I(c)).

    An even clearer example is a program of involuntary sterilization of
    American Indian women by the BIA's Indian Health Service (IHS) during
    the 1970s. The federal government announced that the program had been
    terminated, and acknowledged having performed several thousand such
    sterilizations. Independent researchers have concluded that as many as
    forty-two percent of all native women of childbearing age in the United
    States had been sterilized by that point. That the program represents a
    rather stark¾and very recent¾violation of Article I(d) of the 1948
    Convention seems beyond all reasonable doubt.

    More broadly, implications of genocide are quite apparent in the
    federal government's self-assigned exercise of "plenary power" and
    concomitant "trust" prerogatives over the residual Indian land base
    pursuant to the Lonewolf v. Hitchcock case (187 U.S. 553(1903)). This
    has worked, with rather predictable results, to systematically deny
    native people the benefit of their remaining material assets. At
    present, the approximately 1.6 million Indians recognized by the
    government as residing within the U.S., when divided into the
    fifty-million-odd acres nominally reserved for their use and occupancy,
    remain the continent's largest landholders on a per capita basis.
    Moreover, the reservation lands have proven to be extraordinarily
    resource rich, holding an estimated two-thirds of all U.S. "domestic"
    uranium reserves, about a quarter of the readily accessible low-sulfur
    coal, as much as a fifth of the oil and natural gas, as well as
    substantial deposits of copper, iron, gold, and zeolites. By any
    rational definition, the U.S. Indian population should thus be one of
    the wealthiest if not the richest population sectors in North America.

    Instead, by the federal government's own statistics, they comprise far
    and away the poorest. As of 1980, American Indians experienced, by a
    decided margin, the lowest annual and lifetime incomes on a per capita
    basis of any ethnic or racial group on the continent. Correlated to
    this are all the standard indices of extreme poverty: the highest rates
    of infant mortality, death by exposure and malnutrition, incidence of
    tuberculosis and other plague disease. Indians experience the highest
    level of unemployment, year after year, and the lowest level of
    educational attainment. The overall quality of life is so dismal that
    alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse are endemic; the rate of
    teen suicide is also several times that of the nation as a whole. The
    average life expectancy of a reservation-based Native American male is
    less than 45 years; that of a reservation-based female less than three
    years longer.

    It's not that reservation resources are not being exploited, or profits
    accrued. To the contrary, virtually all uranium mining and milling
    occurred on or immediately adjacent to reservation land during the life
    of the Atomic Energy Commission's ore-buying program, 1952-81. The
    largest remaining enclave of traditional Indians in North America is
    currently undergoing forced relocation in order that coal may be mined
    on the Navajo Reservation. Alaska native peoples are being converted
    into landless "village corporations" in order that the oil under their
    territories can be tapped; and so on. Rather, the BIA has utilized its
    plenary and trust capacities to negotiate contracts with major mining
    corporations "in behalf of" its "Indian wards" which pay pennies on the
    dollar of the conventional mineral royalty rates. Further, the BIA has
    typically exempted such corporations from an obligation to reclaim
    whatever reservation lands have been mined, or even to perform basic
    environmental cleanup of nuclear and other forms of waste. One outcome
    has been that the National Institute for Science has recommended that
    the two locales within the U.S. most heavily populated by native
    people¾the Four Corners Region and the Black Hills Region¾be designated
    as "National Sacrifice Areas." Indians have responded that this would
    mean their being converted into "national sacrifice peoples"

    Even such seemingly innocuous federal policies as those concerning
    Indian identification criteria carry with them an evident genocidal
    potential. In clinging insistently to a variation of a eugenics
    formulation dubbed "blood-quantum" ushered in by the 1887 General
    Allotment Act, while implementing such policies as the Federal Indian
    Relocation Program (1956-1982), the government has set the stage for a
    "statistical extermination" of the indigenous population within its
    borders. As the noted western historian, Patricia Nelson Limerick, has
    observed: "Set the blood-quantum at one-quarter, hold to it as a rigid
    definition of Indians, let intermarriage proceed...and eventually
    Indians will be defined out of existence. When that happens, the
    federal government will finally be freed from its persistent 'Indian
    problem'." Ultimately, there is precious little difference, other than
    matters of style, between this and what was once called the "Final
    Solution of the Jewish Problem."