Last night the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation dinner was held in New York City.  Over the years it has become a roast of political leaders.  Barack Obama took the podium and he is now one of my favorite comedians.  In case you don't know Alfred E. Smith, he was governor of New York and also ran for president but people feared Smith because of his ethnicity and religion...80 years later, has anything changed.  Of course Smith was Irish and <shudder> Catholic so many people couldn't trust him.  JFK has been the only Catholic president and many were fearful that if he won the presidency he would transfer all the power to the Pope.  Learn more about Alfred Smith here.  Now enjoy Obama's comedy routine:

I think I am going to play some roullette.

So how's it going?  I love scotch but not as much as I love Shaker's Raspberry Honey Vodka.  Yum. 

I love that shirt.  If you can't read it: Sex is evil.  Sex is sin.  Sins are forgiven. So lets begin.

A friend found this after the previous debate.  It was about 8 hours before the actual debate began.  I love some of the McCain/Palin ads on xanga especially on the sites where people just rail McCain and compare him to Hitler.  Yeah, there is his smile saying, "vote for me."

MARDI GRAS HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you spot Dirty Johnny?  Every class has one.

Yum....tasty ass...<drool>

Gynecology isn't so delicate in China especially when it comes to the exams.

What a buzz kill!

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Pullout

I have talked about this ad appearing on craigslist.  Here is the original.  It's nice to know that time travel has been achieved.

This is an actual obituary that appeared in a newspaper.  If you can't read it, I would recommend finding a way to make it larger for reading.

ah...the good old days my grandparents always talked about.  No wonder they were so good, everyone was bouncing around all hopped up on coke.

This is the map of sex.  It covers everything and then some.  It sort of reminds me of middle earth and I am sure that there is a category on the map for Lord of the Rings worship.  This is another one you might want to enlarge to read.

Well it is off to bed but first I think I am going to make me a drink...Ketel One Citronen, Dr. McGuilicutty's Cherry Schnapps, and lemonade.  I don't know what it's called but it's good so I'll have a good sleep.

I love the list links that I post so here are three more:
I have never thought it was possible to have too much sex but the people on this list have proved me wrong.  Sometimes I think Wilt Chamberlain is a liar because 20,000 women is a bit much which would average 1.14 per day starting at age 15.
I have talked about my dating woes and lack of a relationship in the past.  A few years ago, at Christmas time, a group of students banded together to try to find me a wife.  Of course they went to the mail order variety.  Then they realized how high the prices were so they didn't follow through on their plans but I did get a catalog.  Well here are some creepy mail order bride websites.
And of course I have tried the dating websites.  These are 5 that I don't think that I would try even though I am desperate.  They did forget to include MillMatch which is for women seeking men who are millionaires. 

I didn't know they still made Baked Doritos but this guy's site has restored my hope for humanity.

I never watched Fraser when it was on NBC.  I tried watching the syndicated shows but the humor eludes me.  I guess that speaks about my intelligence because I love me a pie in the face over witty banter any day.  Recently Kelsey Grammer was on FOX news and he claims he predicted this whole stock market debacle.

Remember your SAT scores or how about the ACT scores?  Well I found this site a while ago that if you can sort through the haze of malted hops and bong water and actually remember those scores, you can see how you would have faired at the entry into colleges and universities across America.  I may have made it to Brown but not Harvard, I am so stupid.  I was thinking of trying Bryn Mawr but realized I have a penis.

I have found some strange Barack Obama and Sarah Palin products and events out there:
First, we have the Head O' State, a Barack Obama, adult "toy".  I will not be buying that one, just thought it was funny to know he already has a sex toy.  If you think sexism is sexy then maybe you would enjoy the This is Not Sarah Palin inflatible love doll.  I love all the sayings next to the box.  They are worth the click alone.  Once again another product  I wouldn't buy.  There is an event coming up and no I will not spelling coming any other way.  The event is called O's for Obama.  This guy has gotten in his head that he will get people to have breath-gasms worldwide that it will get Obama to win the general election and enough electoral votes to take the White House, you know you can't be too safe(I'm pointing at you Al Gore).  The same people tried something similar a year or so ago.  They thought that if they could get people to have a breath-gasm at the same moment it would tip the world's axis.  I have no idea why they wanted to do that but I think it had something to do with fighting global warming.  You would have thought all that motion and heavy breathing would have made things hotter.  Well they blamed men for the let down because they were either fast on the trigger or they couldn't find the trigger at the right moment. 

I've been seeing the fruits of this website popping up all over facebook.  You can take a photo of yourself and see what you would have looked like in multiple decades.  My results weren't pretty.

News stories like this are really enduring people to McCain...by the way that's sarcasm.

I found these websites of a guy, MrChiCity, giving tours and advice similar to what you would see on MTV Cribs.  I thought the video about the fully stocked fridge was hilarious as well as the one about chilling at McDonald's.  He truly is a Dollar Menu Millionaire.

Here's a little point and click website that will teach you what it will be like if Sarah Palin is president.  I hear it changes daily.

I think this website is final proof that the apocalypse is near.  Pantyhose for men?  Tribal pattern pantyhose?  I don't care if Joe Namath wore them, not for me.  I am curious what women would think if they saw a guy wearing pantyhose or learned that they guy they date wears the hose.  If enough ladies convince me, maybe then...no.

More randomness.

So I forgot to do my comic book entry last night.  I was just on a high from seeing my goddaughter.  I don't know what it is but it makes me "giddy?".  It makes me feel better seeing as I have for some reason alienated people on this site but oh so goes life. 

I think he said that to Chris Hansen after being caught on NBC's "To Catch a Predator".

Did you know that a simple vacuum tube can call down the wrath of god on your enemies?  Ah, electronics, what can't they do?
 
I found this just randomly and thought it was pretty funny.  Now if only George Costanza knew that...
 
I am sure Batman thoroughly enjoys that grasp.

Since when did Bill Nye get his own comic?

Creamsicles are divine.


These are some stills from the Fantastic Four featuring one of the weirdest kids ever and some peculiar moments. 
 
There is absolutely nothing funny about "turn you head and cough" <tug> or "you might feel a little pressure".

Another couple of random posts coming your way.  The Sox won to take it back to Tampa.  Time to celebrate with some of my victory scotch.