I came across this list whilst looking through the groups to which former students belong.  One student had joined a group on facebook called "I Enjoy the Hidden Benefits of Smoking".  I joined and two minutes later he left.  I used to smoke cigars and cigarettes.  My cigarette habit at its highest was one pack every two weeks, that was a difficult summer.  My cigar habit...during the school year it was two a day.  I have been smoke free since July 3rd of 2007.  Anyway here is an edited list.  I thought Xanga would love this seeing I have to put up with all those B.S. ads...oops I mean Truth.  Did you know that a lot of those anti-smoking ads you see on TV are funded by tobacco companies?  Think about that while you read this.

1. Being able to start conversation with strangers by asking "hey, can I get a light?

2. Being the envy of every homeless person and getting the satisfaction of telling them "sorry, I’m all out" when they ask to bum a smoke.

3. Having the ability to leave any boring or uncomfortable situation by saying "oh yea I’m just gonna step outside for a smoke".

4. Getting that little extra kick after smoking pot.

5. Blowing smoke in peoples faces when they give you that nasty "you're poisoning my air" look.

6. Having a few cigarettes in place of a meal when the food is just so god awful terrible.

7. Being united and bonded with other smokers because you all feel like prisoners of war huddled in a little smoking section or out in the cold, rainy weather.

8. Being able to stay awake all night through constant chain smoking.

9. Revealing hidden laser traps like those in Metal Gear Solid.

10. Feeling truly European while visiting Europe.

11. Being super classy because you're doing what EVERY single movie star, business mogul, famous musician, military hero, and great politician did from 1920-1950.

12. Supporting fine American corporations like Altria Group and RJ Reynolds, which donate millions of dollars to various charities, the Federal government, and schools.

13. Always having a lighter on hand, because then if you get lost in the wilderness, you can make a survival fire while the other non-smokers freeze to death rubbing sticks together.

14. Burning perfectly round holes into paper, especially in photographs of people you plan to off.

15. Being able to enjoy many delicious combinations, such as alcohol and cigarettes, weed and cigarettes, blow and cigarettes, food and cigarettes, coffee & cigarettes, etc.

16. Having a much more practical means of masking the weed smell of a recently hot-boxed car, rather than using axe or Lysol.

17. Feeling fucking amazing when you have a cigarette right after sex.

18. Feeling older, more sophisticated, and more badass than your peers if you smoked cigarettes in junior-high.

19. Second hand smoke=second hand coolness; smoking=source of coolness.

20.  Smoking gives you something to do on those long drives.

21.  Smoking lets you join an exclusive, cooler, more mature club.

22.  Can appreciate blues and jazz music all the more when smoking. 

23.  Helps you control appetite.

24.  Don’t have to do as much work as non-smokers because you get smoke breaks.

25.  Don’t have to wait at restaurants because the smoking section is never full.

26.  When you smoke, you never have to worry about constipation.

27.  When you smoke, there are less mosquitoes around you.(So true, I lived in Minnesota where the mosquito is the state bird.)

28.  If you frown while smoking street gangs will fear you (unless they are smoking).

29.  Smoking turns boys into men and men into legends.

30.  Smoking gives you the ability to attract better looking, mature women.

31.  Flicking cigarettes at people who annoy you is cooler than shouting at them.

32.  Cigarette smoking has been medically proven to off-set the effects of Parkinson’s Disease, ease the effects of OCD, and chemically reduce stress.

33.  Cigarette smoke dissolves cholesterol. 

34.  Cigarette smoke helps get rid of those pesky leaches that stick to your legs after swimming in one of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes.

35.  Smoking makes you impervious to harsh climates.  (I quit smoking and now I complain about the weather)

36.  Our president-elect smokes and how cool is he?

I often post my Craigslist finds.
I am thinking I need to take this approach in finding a girlfriend.  I don't think I can take another holiday alone.  I am already dreading being alone this holiday season.  Anyway, I am going to copy this guy.

Let us frolic in my totally dope blanket fort

Yes, I know what you’re saying, “dude, that blanket fort sucks.” That would not be the first time I’ve heard such short-sighted criticism. Its structural integrity is dubious at best and there isn’t a whole lot of headroom. But c’mon, it’s not like I’m a freakin’ architect or anything. Besides, this little baby is just a prototype. I have vast resources of cushions for anchoring and blankets in order to maximize square footage. My living room is just waiting to be turned into a totally sweet labyrinth of love.

I am very open to suggestions in respect to design and construction, as I’d like this fort to be a shared vision. Much like the Taj Mahal, its intended that this little beauty will be inspired by a very special lady. Once our shelter is erected, we can move in and work on some of our higher order needs. Or we could just order a pizza and tell ghost stories. Please email me with a picture if you want to be invited to this living room party. It will be sweet.

PS: I’m allowed to have sleepovers.

A few nights ago, I promised a post about Shawano, WI.  I have been putting it off because it seems to get hectic around the holidays. 

It all started a few more nights ago when I was sitting here reading post after post and recommendation after recommendation.  I received a phone call from the Croatian Sensation asking me if I watch the CBS Evening News.  Honestly I had to say that I usually have it on mute just so I can view Katie Couric in all her glory.  Also, I don't find CBS to be a reliable news source given their history with Dan Rather.  Anyway, CS told me that one of the stories on the news took place in Shawano, WI and that a mutual acquaintance had presented the story. 

The story all stems from this cult-like group that is making death-threats against the mayor and police department of Shawano and our acquaintance.  Apparently they don't like his reporting style or the substance of what he reports.
 
It all started about 30 years ago when a group by the name of The Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ set up in Shawano.  They were led by a man named Avarahm Cohen who later became known as Samantha Roy.  The group started buying millions of dollars worth of land and businesses in and around Shawano.  The problem that has developed is that some of the businesses are not filing taxes and another business, a hotel, has had complaints filed against it for hosting adult swinging parties.  Why does it seem like every cult involves tax evasion and questionable sexual practices?

Well this cult now calls themself the Samantha Roy Institute of Science and Technology.  The community of Shawano is split over this group.  I will let you read Mike Lauber's news reports(my acqauintance) and then a proSIST website. 

The report on CBS dealt with the death threats.  The mayor of Shawano, Lorna Marquardt, has had all the windows in her house, car, and office replaced with bullet-proof glass.  Mike has also come under threat because he is an outsider reporting on this group and that he has had preferential treatment from the mayor.  Also a local newspaper reporter seems to be a member of the group and has felt insulted about bringing in this outsider.  The group also calls into question Lauber's religion.  He went to a Lutheran college near where I went and the group claims that he is related to Martin Luther and Adolf Hitler. 

I found a youtube video about why SIST hates Lauber and the mayor.  It sounds like the rant and ravings of a madman like Hitler.  They compare their struggle in Shawano to the genocide in Germany and the genocide of Jews in general.  They quote Luther in the video I found however they don't quote any of the religious applications as to why he said that nor did they quote his recantation of that quote.  So here is the video, I can't post it because the cult member disabled embedding. 

You should watch some of the other videos by the SIST member ShawanoNews2008, they are laughable and quite creepy. 

I guess I really report anything other than bring up this topic.  I am sort of trying to be the teacher model of a guide on the side and let you research the information and come to your own conclusion.  I also just find it hilarious that a town like Shawano is on the national news for a cult making death threats against political leaders and reporters.  I am thinking the new slogan will be: Shawano, if the cold doesn't kill then maybe our cult will.