Does this really count as a Missed Connection?

God.

So earlier I was eating pretzels. Some of those alphabet pretzels where all the pretzels are letters. I pull a couple out of the bag and look down. It says "die" in my hand.

How in the fuck would I just happen to get those particular letters in that particular order? Well, message received, God. I'm not leaving my house for shit. Just curious, though. Why would you choose to tell me like that?

Also, I'm just starting to notice. This house is a fucking death trap.

They say that God works in mysterious ways so I suppose pretzels are a mysterious medium through which he could work.

So I was going to do a whole post about this new train wreck reality show.  I am not really going to write much about what has transpired on the show but I will show you some videos and pics and links.

Rock of Love Bus premiered a couple of Sundays ago on VH-1.  The premise of this show is that former Poison frontman and everyone's favorite county fair rocker Bret Michaels is looking for true love.  He has had two previous opportunities to find love but apparently have 40 women thrust(HAHA) in front of him, he would have found true love.  Also I am shocked that he couldn't find true love in a few weeks of living with 20 other women. 
So Bret has decided to have a bevy of "beauties" go on tour with him.  The Bus in the title means they ride a bus everywhere they go and hilarity and Machiavellian intrigue ensues.  In the first episode Bret introduces us to all the girls by practicing one of his hobbies, photography.  Of course the women start posing nude.  Then comes my favorite moment in all of reality show history occurs. 

This is Nikki, a DJ and vandal, does a rap for Bret.  I have the video below.  You have to watch everything, trust me.
Bret introduces us to all the ladies and then they hit the bus which has a bar and they get drunk.  Then they go to his performance at a county fair in Kentucky and they dance like sluts.  After the show they go to a bar where they drink some more.  While drinking another of the greatest events in all of reality show history transpires.  Nikki, mentioned above, decides that she is horny and wants to get drunk so she takes a shot that comes in a small beaker and has another contestant lay on the bar and take off her underwear.  Nikki inserted the glass shot tube into her friend's vagina and then drank the shot.  Of course they didn't show it but the people talked about it.  I was set to share that video with you however it was taken off youtube as were all the Rock of Love Bus videos.
Where does Bret get these women?  Well it's obvious...from the world of porn.
These links are of adult nature so NSFW!

Well there is it is.  I hope you are still reading and aren't still reading the porn sites.
I am hoping that Bret finally finds true love.  I don't know if I could stand another season.  I guess time will tell.  Oh yeah, here's that video.

Sadly, Nikki was eliminated.  I hope it had nothing to do with her papers or that vagina shot.  This is going to be a train wreck.  I have noticed that in every scene there is alcohol present.  Cheers!

Someone sent me this link on facebook.  I watched it and couldn't believe that FOX News aired this interview.  Neil Cavuto interviews someone who thinks that the state of Israel has messed up the world.  The strange thing is that the person being interviewed is a rabbi.

Sort of interesting how he uses his Scripture to say that there should be no Israel. 

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away called New Ulm, a young piano man, who loved Billy Joel and Elton John but hated Kid Rock, was a bartender in the mullet filled wild streets of New Ulm.  That piano man got upset with his manager and did all sorts of shenanigans including "borrowing" a few Boots from the establishment.  Currently they are missing three Boots and then were later shocked to learn that the fourth Boot was smashed inside the containment unit.
One of those Boots went on to live a fulfilling life.  He made guest appearances at all the weddings of a small cadre of Lutheran fanatics.  This is from one of those weddings.  Here we see Das Boot sitting with The Beer Maker.  Das Boot is filled with only the best brews.  This particular poison was Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat complete with orange slices. 
Das Boot had a few tricks up his sleeve when people unaffiliated with the cadre of Lutheran fanatics begged to sip from his beery goodness.  Das Boot needed to have his toe pointed toward your body when you drank of Das Boot.  Little did they know that when you didn't point the toe toward your body, you would get a bubble that developed in the toe and Das Boot would regurgitate beer all over their person.  It was quite amusing. 
Das Boot will be making a guest appearance at the August Schell Brewery in New Ulm, MN on February 21st at the annual Bock Fest which is the equivalent of Madri Gras if Madri Gras was run by Germans who wanted to go running around in the snow looking for bocks and trying to avoid die Jecken while drinking the finest of Schell's beer among the thousands and thousands of people.
Das Boot encourages you to drink more beer and also says, "Tag! You're it!"