My name is GodfatherofGreenBay and I have a problem.  I am addicted to Xanga.  Actually I have another problem.  When I dream, sometimes my dreams are so vivid that I somehow believe that what I dream has actually transpired.  I also have the occasional dreams of the mundane events that will happen to me the next day. 
OK, I digress...what I want to talk about is my Xanga addiction and vivid dreaming. 
Friday night/Saturday morning, whenever I fell asleep, I had such a vivid dream that I just had to blog about it because I thought I dug up dirt about some of the famous Xanga bloggers.  I didn't stop to think that these people live nowhere near where I live however the dream was that vivid that I thought I had to blog.
I was sitting in my doctor's office waiting for an appointment which isn't anything new.  I have had health issues the last year and the doctors are stumped.  However the bloggers in my dream had their health issues revealed to the rest of the waiting room. 
I was sitting there fiddling with a magazine.  I was scoffing at Gallant because I am Goofus at heart.  The nurse walks in and says, "Miss, we're ready to treat your genital warts."  I look at the nurse and then I see a Xanga blogger get up and walk to the door. 
As I watched her exit the waiting room I was in disbelief.  I shook my head and went back to my Highlights but then I heard a moaning coming from across the waiting room.  To my shock, I saw a certain religious restaurateur making out with another man, a certain Dragon or whatever, thus proving that they are not the same person. 
I then thought about how I had to send out Valentine's Day cards and I designed one for the lady who posted photos of aborted fetuses.  Looking back at this dream, this was a cruel joke and being the heartless dick that I am, I wish I had the ability to do this.  My card consisted of the photo of the aborted fetus and had Thomas the Tank Engine's face stamped over the baby's face and it said, "I choo-choo-choose you!"  God, I am even dream Simpsons references.
Then a new person entered the waiting room and she was carrying a laptop and was asking everyone in the waiting room to recommend her blogs.  But before I could say anything or recognize who it was a lady with numerous kids started yelling at me.  Before I could respond the nurse came in and said, "Godfather, we think we know what is ailing you and we can fixing your bleeding sphincter.  Oh and we have found your genitals."
I got up and walked out of the waiting room and then I woke up.  I was sleeping on my floor again because that gives me comfort these days.  I got up and went to the computer and was ready to blog.  Wait, I just dreamt that.
This is lame, sorry.  MrsMok put me up to it.  I told her about my problems.  Time for backlash and loss of friends.  I left out all the names but maybe I will timestamp with all of the names that I dream about and the other creepiness.
I think dreaming about Xanga bloggers is a sign of addiction.

Yes, it's late.  I guess I have been somewhat depressed as of late.  I spent time with my goddaughter on Friday night which was fun.  She's 4 months old now and full of smiles.  Oh and this may be of interest to Pittsburgh Steeler fans, I pulled a u-turn in the parking lot where they make the Terrible Towels.  Yes, I know people that live near where they make the Terrible Towels in Wisconsin, right across the train tracks and forest of Circus World Museum.  Yesterday I just didn't feel like posting but now I am ready.

I guess I will start with the biggest news of the week.  Before the Grammy Awards, Chris Brown allegedly beat Rihanna.  The injuries that Rihanna suffered have been described as horrific with swollen eyes, split lip, severe bruising, and bite marks.  Rihanna is cooperating with police and Chris Brown has turned himself in but there has been no word as to what started the fight.  There are a couple of stories circulating but Chris Brown says they aren't true.  The first story is that he received a text message from a groupie about a hook-up, Rihanna read the message and stopped the car that she was driving and threw the keys out the window.  The other story is that Chris Brown found out that Rihanna was cheating on him with a rapper that they are trying to promote and this rapper gave Rihanna a sexually transmitted disease and she informed Chris Brown that he may have it as well.  Witnesses have said that Brown beat her with a weapon so he could face some serious jail time.  This is no joke and it was raining in LA that evening but people have said that he beat her with an umbrella...IRONY!  Then the other twist of irony came when it was revealed who the first person was to arrive on the scene and separate them.  Ryan Seacrest....yes, I feel safe knowing that he is roaming the streets and fighting crime.

Ladies, there is some good news to the Chris Brown/ Rihanna scandal.  He changed his Facebook relationship status and is currently listed as single.  Before you start dating him, I would suggest investing in a catcher's mask or a goalie helmet.

Tell me that you wouldn't be upset with your significant other if you saw her kissing that racist Miley Cyrus.(More on that later)

Tommy Chong is so friendly.   I feel like I have a lot to learn from him.  Too bad under this new stimulus bill that will be signed on Tuesday, all American citizens 65 and over are going to be shipped to Madagascar.  Yes, Tommy, I would love a hit.

Salma Hayek has magical breasts.  Maybe that is why people have stopped coming to my site.  THERE IS PROOF!  Her 16 month old speaks three languages, according to Salma.  Her child can speak English, Spanish, and French.  Is there some way that we can bottle her milk and mass produce so that our society might get brighter?  Oh wait...that's part of the stimulus package.

This will be on Maury.  Ray J, star of the the VH-1 reality series For the Love of Ray J, may have impregnated one of the contestants on his dating contest.  Apparently people have seen the contest Monica around and she is pregnant and has told people that it is Ray J's.  That is a first for reality TV.  I think the title of Ray J's next show will be For the Love of Child Support.

Octo-Mom is apparently stalking Angelina Jolie.  Angie says that Octo Mom has even reached out to her for financial support because they both have such big hearts for children.  I think Octo Mom has something large for children but it isn't her heart (please don't guess too hard).  Octo Mom has also set up her own website and is seeking donations.  You know, I'd like to make a donation.  I'd donate my foot in her ass.  That is so irresponsible...14 kids on welfare and social security.  Those kids are going to grow up maladjusted.  And speaking of being maladjusted, I saw the photo of her from her last days of pregnancy and MY EYES!  MY ORGANS!  MY EVERYTHING!  I will never be able to function as a man.  Oh and please remind me never to have 8 kids in one sitting.

Nick Cannon proved this week that he is no longer dependent on Mariah Carey.  He landed Jerry Springer's sloppy seconds and by sloppy I mean crappy job as host of America's Got Talent.  Maybe now Nick can ditch the least that she has him wear.

In legal news, Miley Cyrus is being sued for $4billion for the racist picture she took just a few weeks ago.  A group of Asian Americans have banded together and deemed that $4billion would be adequate so that every Asian American may receive $4000 in reimbursement from Miley's horribly racist actions.  The joke's on them, Miley's only worth $3billion.  They might as well have sued for the ownership of the Arctic Circle and Santa's Workshop.  So to prove that she isn't racist, Miley gathered all the Asians she could find at an after Grammy party and took a picture and she didn't make the eyes. 

In response to all this talk of her being racist, Miley Cyrus has said that all she does is part of God's master plan.  So God is responsible for Miley mocking Asians....clever girl.  Maybe God should change his master plan to have Miley move far away and become mute.

Mickey Rourke is now rumored to be dating Courtney Love.  When a reporter asked Mickey about his supposed new love interest, he said that he would rather date a gorilla on a deserted island.  At first I thought that Mickey is gross and into bestiality.  Then I thought about it and would have to agree with Mickey if I were faced with that decision.

Michelle Obama is very upset with how Beyonce has been gushing around Barack.  Funny thing is, Beyonce voted for McCain.  Anyway at the Inauguration Ball, Beyonce went to hug Michelle and Michelle grabbed her hands before the hug could take place and shook them.  I was going to insert a Chris Brown joke here but I think I will take the high road and go with this:  I wonder if First Ladies get any of the executive privileges that the presidents receive, because I wouldn't mind if Beyonce were to "go missing" or "commit suicide".

M.I.A. performed at the Grammys last Sunday even though she was set to deliver her baby.  M.I.A. is quite a trooper.  I like how her dress doesn't quite cover the stretch marks but those are marks of pride.  Oh and she gave birth on Wednesday to a baby boy but no word on what she named him.

Melanie Brown aka Scary Spice finally settled her baby dispute with Eddie Murphy.  He will have to pay Melanie $50,000 a month until baby Iris turns 18.  That means we will see more crappy Eddie Murphy movies...just wait for such classics as The Nutty Professor 3-10 and maybe a few more installments of Dr. Doolittle and Pluto Nash.  I bet right now Eddie is wishing that he stuck with very masculine looking transsexual hookers.

This is Madonna and her new piece, Jesus.  Apparently Madonna says she is dating him because he makes her look forward to her second coming...lame.  Even though he is Jesus, he will have to dip his dingle dangle in holy water to wash off Madonna's taint.

Guess the ass!  Spandex is this girl's best friend.  I give it an A as well.  Kim Kardashian.

Here's a little something for the ladies.  In the most recent issue of Playboy, country singer Kenny Chesney claims that he isn't gay.  I bet Peyton Manning is arguing with him over that comment.  He claims he isn't gay because he has slept with hundreds of women.  Yeah, I would brag about that if I was trying to impress a lady.

I bet if I kissed Katy Perry with that beautiful red lipstick and those luscious lips...I would like it.

This is Katrina Derrell.  She is affectionately known as Bikini Girl on American Idol.  She went bikini shopping this week.  Too bad it was staged.  I know that the paparazzi follow me around when I go trying on new speedos and I go modeling them around the store looking as if I am smuggling plums.  Bikini Girl didn't make the final 36 contestants but she has a bright future...in stripping.  Oh and there has been American Idol controversy.  Apparently one of the final 36 contestants was dating a guy in the show's production company so the producers felt that might compromise things so they gave her the boot and they are planning something called a Wild Card so maybe Bikini Girl has a shot or that one guy from Milwaukee who didn't make it...he was good.  God, I am an idiot.

Kate Hudson let everyone know that she had a stripper pole installed in her bathroom.  Why in the bathroom?  That isn't sexy.  I don't even want to think about someone especially Kate grinding on a stripper pole while a guy is sitting on the crapper.  Is there a perverse term for that move?  Sort of like a blumpkin.  The reason she put the pole in her bathroom is for her new but old boyfriend, glutton for pain Owen Wilson.  She drove him to attempt suicide so to make up for she put up a stripper pole in her bathroom. CL-ASS!

Joaquin Phoenix crawled out of his cardboard box to board an airplane to fly to New York City for his appearance on Late Show.  I finally figured out whom he looks like.  There was this guy in my hometown that used to ride a bike all over the place and dig through the trash cans looking for pop cans and if he hasn't scrounging for cans, he was screaming Bible verses and handing out his hand written conspiracy theories newsletter.  That was an excellent read.  Maybe it was Joaquin all along and now he has reverted. 

Henry Rollins turned 48 this week.  He still rocks without the walker.  Just listen to this.

Heidi Klum is the host of Germany's Next Top Model and fashion designer Wolfgang Joop said that she was too fat to be a model.  Heidi Klum...too fat...that makes me depressed.  By Joop's logic, I must be the size of a planet.

When I first saw this photo, I thought someone caught up with a member of that biker gang that absconded me in my hometown many years ago.  They were known as The Dykes on Bikes.  I looked closer and figured out it is Harrison Ford.  Strange, he knows the Dykes on Bikes secret hand sign.

Can you believe that Gary Coleman turned 41 this week?  Yes, he did.  He still looks like he could play a teenager on a sitcom but in that character's back story they would have to explain the wrinkles. 

Florence Henderson turned 75 this week.  I don't know anything funny to say because I think she was one of my first crushes because I watched all those Brady Bunch reruns after school during my impressionable years.  I wonder if Alice is still living.

I was going to make a joke about David Beckham blowing a load but this is wrong and here I thought picking your nose was sexy.

Courtney Love was at a fashion show this week and she tried to bring sexy back however she brought some sexy back fat instead.  I have to be honest.  She actually looks good but that is comparing her currently to what she looked like the past few months.

This is Chris Tucker.  On the left is a photo from 2005 and on the right is from last Sunday at the Grammys.  I'm thinking that Chris has been using a nacho cheese based skin moisturizer or maybe those special Mormon undergarments are on a little too tight.

I wish Beth Ditto were my Valentine.  But she has listed herself as bisexual which means that cuts my chances in half.  Well, it wouldn't be the first time a girl said she was lesbian to avoid dating me.  yeah, Valentine's Day is rough for me.

I think Playboy Magazine is up for the Photoshop of the Year Award with this cover.  Aubrey O'Day's skin color...it looks so fake and reminds me of something I threw up.  Playboy sure is going downhill.  Why not?  Everyone is making their own porn so why pay $10 for limited nudity.

Alex Rodriguez aka A-Rod or to Boston fans Gay-Rod, tested positive for steroid use in 2003.  Maybe he has been secreting the steroids to Madonna.  I wonder if steroids are transferable through semen.  I never had sex-ed because I went to Lutheran schools.  I will have to ask that on Yahoo Answers.  Actually, I can't wait for the baseball season.  Spring training is just days away.  I have been thinking of resurrecting my career because for the better part of 2008, I was on steroids and I wonder if they have helped my swing.  Just don't put me in a batting cage against a pitching machine.  That is what ended my career.  I got hit by an errant pitch.  The kid dropped the ball in the machine wrong and it came out like a knuckleball but going 95mph.  I got hit in the hand and broke numerous bones.  When I went to the doctor to have it examined, he said it was broken because I was overweight and not because I got hit by a pitching machine.  Yeah...I'm that fat.

Amy Winehouse is still on vacation in St. Lucia, but sources are now saying it isn't a vacation but an attempt to detox.  She is doing methadone to get herself all those evil drugs that have been plaguing her career.  She isn't taking enough because the other day Amy collapsed and started having seizures due to withdrawal.  Amy was then rushed to the hospital.  I remember my high school days and the sign of a great party was when someone had to be rushed to a party.  Now, I am old and the sign of a great party is if they have a vast selection of chips and dips and beer. 

I hope you enjoyed but before you go I have this nugget for you...Joaquin Phoenix's appearance on Late Show.  Letterman is priceless in this clip because he had so little to work with but he made it into something so very funny.

Please comment.  I won't whore myself and tell you to recommend.  I hope all of you had a great weekend.

is "hard" crude?  I finally found the trailer for the new Quentin Tarrantino movie "Inglorious Bastards".  I am anxious almost as anxious as I am for March 3rd....WATCHMEN!

Also in my last Celebrity Round Up, I mentioned about Salma Hayek breastfeeding a random child.  Here's the video.

Oh if you are bored with it, skip ahead to the 5:25 mark. 

Sorry I haven't had any posts this week.  I am trying to figure out my life.  I have had some more tests and it is wearing me out.  After the tests I saw my mom at the hospital and she started crying because she claims I look so sickly and white.  I accused her of being racist.  Now I am waiting for results and it scares the crap out of me. Tomorrow I have to help my dad put away Christmas decorations.  Yeah, it's almost Valentine's Day so that means it is time for my parents to pack up their Christmas decorations.  Luckily they have an artificial tree.  I still remember one year the Christmas tree was up for my birthday but it was no longer green.  Oh well.  Here's the music of the moment:

Another week and more celebrity shenanigans.  I know I said I was going to make an extra entry today but I never got around to it so I figure I will just add it into this post.  Enjoy.

Ricky Gervais from The Office is pissed off at one of his new neighbors in London.  Paris Hilton bought a house near his and he is furious.  Ricky decided to go straight to the top by writing a letter to Barack Obama.

An open letter to Barack Obama.
Dear Mr President,
Firstly, congratulations on your historic win. I have never been so behind a candidate for what must be considered the boss of the world.  You seem to be a man of grace and integrity, who would never shirk responsibility in any way.
I'll get to the point.
As I'm sure you are aware, one of your flock has strayed. A Miss Paris Hilton, who is, I believe, a resident of Beverley Hills, is in England doing a reality game show for ITV2 called Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. Fine. I have no problem with that. I don't have to watch. But now it has come to my attention that she has bought a house in North London a few miles from me, and is out and about ingratiating herself with the Great British public.
Mr President. We are not stupid. This is clearly a retaliatory strike for Posh Spice moving to LA. I know it, and you know it, so let's cut the "it's a free country" nonsense and come to some agreement.  I propose an exchange.
This is how it would work. We call them both and tell them that we've found a giant "paparazzi nest", in New York say. (half way home for both of them already)  At first they may be confused that they'd never heard of such a thing before, but the thought of that many photographers in one place will be irresistible.  Once we get them there, while they are having their photos taken (we will have hire a few guys with cameras to make it look good) we will swap their limos around. It's fool proof.  This is a covert operation of which Mr Gordon Brown knows nothing. (I've got him working on finding a synthetic fur for The Queen's guards' bearskin hats.)
Have your people call my people. They may have to call a few times as my people are useless to be honest.
Thank you,
Ricky Gervais

Personally I think Paris should be dropped off in Kazakhstan without a cell phone.  But trading Posh for Paris is sort of like trading a pile of cash for a punch in the face.  Let's hope President Obama is more concerned with the economy.

Even at Suri Cruise's tender age she has perfected her bitch please face.  I have a feeling that Suri is telling Katie, "Hey, mom!  We all know that your relationship with that gay, alien lover is fake so just move on."  Suri is also more intelligent than her mother.

If you remember a few months ago I wrote about how Spencer and Heidi staged their wedding.  It was a huge deal except it wasn't real because they never obtained a marriage license.  A person close to Heidi and Spencer leaked the news that they are planning faking the next major step in their relationship...DIVORCE!  Yes, they plan on faking their way through a divorce on their fake marriage and they plan to make it quite messy.  I have been trying to wrap my head around this logic.  Maybe they aren't planning a fake divorce for attention but for practice because we all know that when The Hills gets canceled, Spencer will just go get himself a new piece.

A photo of Simon Cowell from 1979 has surfaced this week.  He appears to be totally straight.  I can't believe he became famous looking like that but his fame was probably attained because he is a Freemason.

Salma Hayek was on a humanitarian relief mission in Sierra Leone this week.  She was walking through a village and saw a starving child and his mother.  The mother was crying because she couldn't produce milk for her child.  Full of compassion and hotness, Salma whipped out her breasts and fed that child.  Salma's breasts are going to feed and please mankind.  She is the new Mother Theresa.

I forgave Ronnie Wood a long time ago for leaving his wife for a barely legal girl whose probably sucking on his dingis for cash, but I can't forgive him for wearing Uggs.  I bet his barely legal babe makes him wear those so that no other gold-digging Lolita tries to hop on pop.

VH-1 needed a new host for the next installment of Charm School so they called someone they knew who needed work and wouldn't turn them down.  Ricki Lake will be replacing Sharon Osbourne who replaced Monique as host of Charm School.  The girls are going to be from a vast array of the current VH-1 reality series so look out.  I guess it is fitting because the same type of girls would have been on her show ten years ago but with the advent of reality dating shows they all have migrated to VH-1.  I am praying to God that they bring back DJ Lady Tribe for this installment of Charm School.

Renee Zellwegger starred in the 8th highest grossing film this week.  New in Town...I can't believe people actually went to see this.  I have to be honest...I wanted to see it not because it is a chick flick or for Renee but because it is supposedly set in the town where I attended college.  I just wanted to see how they butchered that town on the big screen.  8th highest grossing film...maybe the economy is really bad or maybe this movie is just crap.

Pauly Shore...yes, he's still alive...was in a LA nightclub this week when he ran into Paris Hilton.  He saw her and proceeded to hit on her.  Paris got frustrated and had security escort Pauly outside.  Paul Shore got turned down by a woman at a bar?  Welcome to 1990, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 2000, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09....well you get the picture.  Can you blame Pauly for hitting on Paris?  I mean she does everyone(except Pauly Shore, I guess even Paris has standards).  Getting rejected by Paris Hilton is sort of like getting turned down by the military because they let anyone in.

Nick Hogan has been reissued a driver's license for work related driving only.  Giving him a driver's license is sort of like giving Jeffery Dahmer a set of knives.  I feel sorry for the residents of Florida but then I realized they have nothing to fear because the license is for work related driving and "reality star" isn't exactly work.

Miley Cyrus got in trouble this week for making a racist face.  But there was an Asian guy in the room so that makes it ok, right?  Miley is just offensive in and of herself.  She wrote a blog...yeah, I can't believe she could write either.
"I've also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I'm sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context!  In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of been anyone else, it would of been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new 'BAD GIRL'!  I feel like now that Britney is back on top of her game again, they need someone to pick on! Lucky me! haha Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know what is on my heart. You guys know me and have been by my side every step of the way! You guys know my heart and know the most important things to me are my friends, family, fans, and GOD! In NO WAY do I want to disappoint any of you! But, when I have made mistakes in the past, I feel like I've owned up to them and apologized."
I'm surprised she didn't say, "Me so solly."  I'm also surprised she didn't say, "I'm just a kid" like she does for every other stupid act she does.

Mickey Rourke was walking from his hotel in Paris when a female fan showed him her wares.  Mickey's got some serious mojo but why does he look so scared?  Suddenly, it seems good to be Rourke.

Guess the ass!  I heart this actress.  She has transformed me into quite a fan of her work.  Megan Fox.

A photograph was leaked this week showing Michael Phelps taking a hit from the bong.  He was at a party at the University of South Carolina and decided he had to party.  Well he apologized and people forgave him and some sponsors stood by him because what is it...45% of American adults have at one point smoked marijuana.  The sheriff in that particular county is seeking to press charges and launch an investigation(somebody needs to get laid).  Marijuana isn't a performance enhancing drug so that is why Phelps has only been suspended 3 months from the U.S. swimming team.  I hear marijuana tends to slow you down.  Could you imagine how fast he would be without the weed?  Kellogg's canceled their sponsorship of Phelps.  I saw that coming.  The people at Kellogg's are pretty uptight about activities that people deem "fun".  The founder of Kellogg's made cornflakes to cure people and provide a healthy alternative to masturbation...that didn't work.  I guess cornflakes aren't wholesome for stoners.  Speaking of stoners...France, how does it feel to lose a gold medal to a complete stoner?  Please...please...please...Stop crying.  What's with that white flag?  You are surrendering to me?  Why, yes, I will rule your country.  Bring me French First lady Carla Bruni. 

Insiders are saying that Madonna is growing to resent her daughter, Lourdes, for her pending beauty.  The guys Madonna dates keep getting younger and younger so soon Madonna will be dating the same age of guy as Lourdes.  I feel sorry for Lourdes.  I can just imagine in a few years the stories will read that Madonna has stolen her boyfriend again.  I can't see what a young guy would see in Madonna.  She looks like something resurrected by a group of teenagers that found an ancient book in a cemetery and the only way they would survive sex with her is if they wore condoms made of silver.

Lisa Loeb got married.  Do you remember that E! reality series where she went around looking for a potential husband?  Well it didn't work out.  She married a guy named Roey Hershovitz who is the music supervisor of the Conan O'Brien show.  I really enjoyed Lisa Loeb back in the day.  I can't really say anything bad about her other than her music.  I bet when they have fights, she'll break out the guitar and sing "Stay".

Lindsay Lohan threw a fit when she was boarding an airplane last weekend.  Before she made it to first class, she was informed that they were filled to capacity and that she would have to sit in coach.  LINDSAY LOHAN DOESN'T FLY COACH!  She's a major movie star.  She was in the 111th highest grossing film of 2007, Georgia Rule.  How many of those mouth breathers accomplished that?

London received a record amount of snowfall this week.  It was the most snow the city has seen in 18 years.  Lily Allen decided to make the best of it since London basically shut down.  That looks like so much fun and the snow isn't bad either.

Guess the ass.  MTV says I should be going gaga over her but I can't take her bedazzled ass seriously.  Lady Gaga.

I think Kristen Stewart's bikini proves it...she has pot leaf nipples.  She needs help.  Kristen is not that good of an actress.  She sort of reminds me of someone whose name rhymes with Schmidsay Schmohan.  Maybe she is trying to lure Michael Phelps with that bikini.

I had to post an old photo of Joaquin Phoenix because that new look makes me feel nauseous.  Joaquin has sworn that this is not an act.  He also says that he is truly devoted to hip hop.  Maybe he isn't crazy after all.  He does have that crazy hobo look down pat for when his money runs out.

Last week it was announced that a movie studio is planning on remaking the classic film, Bonnie and Clyde.  They also announced that Hilary Duff would be playing Bonnie.  The original Bonnie, Faye Dunaway, came out and said that she wasn't upset with the remake but questioned why they couldn't get a better actress.  Hilary responded this week that she is sure that everything will be ok and her fans will love this role and they don't even know who Faye Dunaway is.  CAT FIGHT!  This is going to get good.

Wow...Dopey the Dwarf is actually looking good.  Actually Jennifer Anniston has been making news but no one knows why.  She was talking about in her next marriage she plans on having a pre-nup which means that Jennifer will probably be slumming for her next husband.  Also this week they announced that Jennifer will be starring in a new movie called Baster.  Hmmm...with all her troubles with men in the past few years, I think the only way Jennifer could have kids at this point is with a turkey baster.

Erykah Badu proved that she was not of this world once again this week.  She gave birth to a daughter and named her Mars Merkaba.  Erykah has two other children, both boys, named Puma Rose and Seven Sirius.  Those kids are going to grow up to be well adjusted adults.

A tape featuring a freak out by Christian Bale on the set of the new Terminator movie was released this week.  Apparently Christian freaked out when the lighting director messed something up on the set.  The producers sent the tape to their insurance company just in case Christian decided to pull out of the movie.  Warning this is part of the tape and it's very graphic.  It's almost as bad as the Bellow Really freak out.

It looks like Carrot Top has given up on prop comictry and has decided to become a warlock.  He is very frightening.  Carrot looks like something out of an Aphex Twin video.

A movie studio announced that it has hired the writer of Tropic Thunder to write a screenplay based on the board game, Candy Land.  My God!  They are officially out of ideas.  I can't remember this game but I am sure that some of you have youngsters and may play this game...what actors do you see playing the different characters?

The mother of the octuplets was on NBC this morning and she looks somewhat like Angelina Jolie and they also share the same views on having children.  Angelina said in a recent interview that she would like to have more children.  Maybe they were separated at birth.

Britney Spears' former manager, Sam Lufti, is suing Britney and her family for breach of contract and libel.  He claims that Britney's parents have been spreading lies about him and that they broke an oral agreement he had with Britney.  He claims that agreement was to work as her manager for 4 years and receive 15% commission.  Britney was "crazy" at the time he claims she gave him the oral agreement.  That won't hold up in court.  Britney has an oral agreement every morning with a side of bacon not to mention all the oral agreements she has given to countless guys over the years.

Britney was photographed drinking two fraps at once this week.  Wouldn't it be easier to smoke crack?  I mean she must be looking for some sort of extra boost.  It sort of reminds me of how in college if I needed to stay up late to do school work I would smoke two cigarettes at the same time....EXTRA BOOST!

Well that is it for this week.  I hope you enjoyed.  I am happy that the photo uploader was fixed because I hate sleeping before I get this posted.  Have a good weekend!

Well I was going to do a couple posts today but I got caught up with other work and decided to save it all for this entry.

There are so many movies out there about serial killers.  TV shows deal with serial killers.  Are there still serial killers with all the advances we have in crime fighting?  Well yes and here is a list of 5 serial killers that are out are currently free.  Just a warning, that video for the #1 guy is pretty disturbing.  I couldn't get through it.  I am surprised they didn't list the Zodiac Killer but of course they didn't know who that is.

Sometimes the weapons that people use in movies are pretty stupid.  Here's a list of the 11 worst weapons in fiction.  They didn't cover the Batman movie with Adam West...Bat Shark Repellent...horrible.

Where do you get your advice?  I seriously hope you don't take advice from people on TV.  Here are the five worst people on TV that you could take advice from.

I was reading article about how pornography has helped shape some of the format wars be it VHS vs Beta or Blu-Ray vs HD-DVD.  Now I found a delightful little article that says porn titles will soon be released in 3D.  Good thing I saved those glasses I just had to get for the Super Bowl...what I used them for like 1 minute, I guess now they could come in handy.

This is a cool little site that took off with a Tom Hanks picture.  All you have to do is state what's your favorite thing about today.

Someone had a little time on their hands and learned how to hack those road construction signs.  This is their handy work.  Now people are up in arms that people will hack them all over and it will be mass confusion and panic.  I still remember the time a friend hacked into a Coke machine with excellent results and the same guy also used his cell phone to change street lights that had emergency sensors.  Some people just have way too much time to think about this stuff.

Do any of you use the Google Maps with the street views?  Well the Google Maps Car hit a deer and it got caught on the map.  Funny stuff.

Have you ever wondered what you might look like as a MILF?  Well now you can find out.

I have caught a lot of people doing this but I never baked them a cake.

Mother Jones tackled an interesting topic:  how and where do KKK members get their clothing?  Interesting read.

I hope this replaces the Rick Roll...You've been Boss Cocked!

In case you didn't know, while Noah was on the Ark, he wrote a blog.

This is a collection of really bad signs.  People have to be complete idiots to post some of those signs. 

Michael Phelps, in conjunction with Cheech and Chong, has started a porn site.  It's called Girls Gone Weed.  I know there are all sorts of porn fetishes out there but this is new to me.

Are you trying to advance things physically in your relationship?  Well Google Maps gives you directions on how to get from Hugging and Kissing to Fucking.  Brilliant!

This has to be the greatest bacon recipe ever.  I can feel my arteries hardening already.

Sometimes I wish real girls were this interactive.  I am digging these Choose-Your-Own-Adventures on Youtube.

A radio host interviewed the most recent guy that admitted to having an affair with former pastor, Ted Haggard.  There is some funny stuff here especially when they talk about Ted Two.  Maybe Pastor Ted took that phrase, "go fuck yourself" a little too seriously.

Because Unicorns totally kick ass, I present you a way to cornify your own website. 

This is a new Christian site called Passion 4 Christ Movement.  It was sort of an interesting concept BUT then I saw their t-shirts.  Go down to the third row and look at the shirts the guy and girl are wearing.  Could you wear that in public?  If I got that shirt, then I would have to get a t-shirt that says Hypocrite.

These sunglasses are pretty cool looking but isn't the description a bit racist?

Does the economy have you down?  Do you enjoy wine but can't afford to drink it regularly given the state of things these days?  Well here is a site that can help you make your own wine for about $10. 

You have probably heard of the Christian Bale outburst by now and if not stay tuned for tomorrows celebrity round up.  Here is the Christian Bale sound board.

Well that is it for this week.  I hope you enjoyed.  Tomorrow I may have an extra post in conjunction with my Celebrity Round Up. 

Valentine's Day is coming up and has me thinking of how alone I feel and then it reminded me of that song by Bush called Swallowed with the lyrics that go "I'm with everyone and yet not".  That is sort of like how I feel.  I am surrounded by great friends and at the same time I have a sense of nothingness around me.

I deleted a friend on facebook today because he called me an idiot(actually I cleaned that up a tad) for supporting our President.  This guy is a Christian and I quoted Romans 13 and he didn't budge.  I am pissed off with all these die-hard Christians who claim they follow the word of God but then want our country to fail because we have a guy in the White House with a D behind his name.  I guess Christians can pick and choose what they want to believe.  This means starting tomorrow I am going to go on a nationwide manhunt for people who cuss at the deaf and when I find those people, I will hurl stones at them.  Oh and I will have to start observing a kosher diet yet maybe I'll leave bacon in because that is so tasty.

More Valentine's Day stuff...I had a friend in college with whom I talked about love and marriage.  He always talked about his plan to find a girl whose birthday was on February 14th and then after a proper courtship he would ask for her hand in marriage and the date he would pick for the wedding would be February 14th.  He would knock out her birthday, anniversary and V-Day all in one shot.  My plans were to find a girl with whom I shared my birthday and because that day would be so special we would get married on that day.  Damn it...still stings...I actually had a girl that shared the same birthday.  Things didn't work.  Fuck you, distance. 

I was going to reveal something about myself that would probably change your preception of me.  No, I'm not gay.  I have always wondered how people view me.  I have had people say I am rough, mean, sarcistic, witty, funny, phoney, strong, intelligent, alcoholic, exotic, average...ok I could go on...but here goes: from time to time, I enjoy a musical.  I watched West Side Story the other night and loved it.  So I am not gay but I like an occasional musical and I think unicorns totally kick ass.

ALF is on.  FTW!  There needs to be more sitcoms centered around a smart-alleck alien hiding out in a surburban household.  ALF totally was a better sitcom than the one I am trying to write.  Double Vision...me married to conjoined twins...yeah not good.

I watch Top Chef.  Half the dishes on that show are unappetizing in my book, but that may be because half the dishes have seafood and I hate most seafood and am allergic to other forms.

I was reading somewhere on the Xanga network about how pissed off people are that Obama doesn't want to give stimulus money to schools that have religious services.  Hello...separation of church and state.  I taught at a religious school and that place was funded solely on the money from the members of the church but that backfired when gas started skyrocketing and people would rather fuel their cars than give to their Lord.  Catholic schools operate under the same means, offerings and not federal money.  Sure there are some kick backs but nothing drastic.  My school never took major handouts from the government because of the stipulations that may have been attached.  I can only remember getting money for a milk program.  That school in California that had the court rule in favor of them expelling the girls from the school because they were lesbians...well, my group of Lutheranism but it wasn't because the school was a religious school.  California Lutheran High School is a charter school and therefore can enroll and expell whomever they please.  People criticize that and say discrimination however they look the other way when public school expell "dumb" kids that won't do well on standardized tests, the standardized tests that depending on the school's performance illicit federal funding.  Record numbers of home schooled children?  Yeah right.  So many of those kids have been expelled by districts so they can meet their standards under No Child Left Behind.

I'm tired.  Maybe I'll do my comic stuff tomorrow sometime.

I thank everyone who viewed my tribute to Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper.  Hard to believe it was 50 years ago.  I even did my hair up in a pompadour but it didn't look that good because of the balding and my hair isn't long enough.  I am working on some issues and it is sort of hard right about now but I think I will manage.  Anyway here are this week's motivational posters.

Also I want to get motivated to find out what this kid is on so I can have some:

Well that is all for this week.  Hope you get motivated.

Today, February 3rd, is an ominous anniversary.  50 years ago, three legendary musicians perished in an airplane crash en route to Fargo, North Dakota for another performance.  Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and J.P. "the Big Bopper" Richardson had just performed a show in Clear Lake, Iowa.  Buddy Holly chartered the doomed airplane because another night in a tour bus without heat didn't set well with Holly not to mention the fact that  The Big Bopper was coming down with the flu and not to mention Carl Bunch, member of Holly's backing band the Crickets, had a case of frostbite from exposure in the bus.  The Crickets were Carl Bunch, Tommy Allsup, and Waylon Jennings.  Walyon Jennings gave up his seat to the ailing Bopper and Richie Valens flipped a coin for the final seat aboard the four passenger plane.  Richie won the ill-fated toss.  Valens, Holly, Richardson and pilot Roger Peterson flew off into the night sky never to return.  The plane crashed some 8 miles from the airport.  Rumors exist as to the circumstances of the reason of the crash and will probably remain a mystery.  Recently, the Big Bopper's son has been petitioning to have his father exhumed to run an autopsy.  Jay Richardson states that his father survived the crash and died in the wreckage or contends that his father died of a gunshot wound.  Whatever the case may be, the fact remains that a great part of rock and roll died that day in 1959. 

This is the memorial that has been erected on the site of the plane crash in Clear Lake, Iowa.

Buddy Holly(September 7, 1936- February 3, 1959) I believe that Buddy Holly did more for rock and roll than Elvis in those early years.  Holly was the superior musician and song  writer.  He embodied a nature of rebellion.  I think Elvis duplicated Holly's attitudes after his untimely death.  Buddy Holly was survived by his wife pregnant wife Maria Elena Holly.  Soon after the crash, she miscarried due to the stress from Buddy's death.

J.P. Richardson (October 24, 1930- February 3, 1959) The Big Bopper was survived by his wife Adrianne, 4 year old daughter Debra Joy and his son Jay Perry Richardson was born in April.  The Bopper, at the time of his death, was building a recording studio in his home so that he could record his 20+ new songs with his friends as well as other musicians and be close to his family.  Bopper was a well-loved figure in the early days of rock and roll and was a devoted family man.

Richie Valens( May 13, 1941- February 3, 1959).  Richie was 17 at the time of his death.  Valens had just made "La Bamba" a hit and also the first rock and roll hit to be in Spanish.  Richie found an old guitar when he was five and even though it only had two strings he attempt to play it.  His father restrung the guitar and encouraged his son to continue playing.  Richie would take his guitar to junior and senior high to play for his friends on the bleachers before and after school.  Richie was completely self taught at guitar and vocals.  Richie recorded two albums in his short musical career.  He will be remembered for such hits as "La Bamba", "Ooh My Head", "Come On Let's Go", "Framed", and "Donna".  Valens was immortalized in the movie La Bamba.  If you haven't seen this movie, do so.  Valens' songs have been covered by many bands and will continue to be popular. 

The crash of the Beechcraft Bonanza claimed three young rock stars.  Their deaths have inspired one of the most popular rock songs to date.  Don McLean recorded "American Pie" as a tribute to the three musicians.  Even though Madonna butchered this song it will be best remembered for Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Richie Valens.  Eddie Cochrane, who performed at the same show as the "Three" and rode the bus, recorded a song called "Three Stars". 

The three stars who perirshed were on a tour called The Winter Dance party and here is a website that contains all the dates along with pictures of the shows.  It also includes the shows that were supposed to fall the show in Clear Lake, IA. 

I have to include some photos from the stop in Mankato simply because that venue is still in existence and out of all the venues on the Winter Dance Party it is the only one still remaining.  Also, I went to college near Mankato so I saw posters around town from the Winter Dance Party show in Clear Lake and Mankato.

The Big Bopper

Richie Valens

I think that when rock stars are taken in an untimely fashion they will live on through the ages.  As is the case with Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, and Richie Valens.

I think I saw the suspect in a cage at the local pet store.