So I am not doing the power rankings tonight because I was going to unveil my tournament, my feeble tribute to March Madness. I have yet to find a website that will host online voting or polls. I actually haven't been looking because I am wondering if people would vote in this tournament. Oh yeah, did I mention that you, my faithful readers, determine the outcome of each match-up? Yes, it is a grand-scale effort. I have 4 brackets, 64 entrants, and a round-table discussion group to analyze match-ups.
One reason why I haven't done the work is that I am not feeling my best so that is why you got a survey earlier. Also I am trying to erase from my memory a conversation my dad had with me yesterday. I was eating lunch with my parents and enjoying some Salisbury Steak and freshly baked bread. It was quiet. It was spitting ice and snow. My dad blurts out, "My balls are really swollen." Apparently that is a problem he has been having with his kidney failure. I stop eating and set my utensils down. He asks, "Have your balls ever been swollen?" GOD! I wasn't about to discuss my nether region with my father especially not with my mother in the room. He then goes on and on about all his ball problems...I lost my appetite and have been hearing that phrase, "My balls are really swollen," over and over in my mind. I should have said, "Yes, dad, my balls have been swollen but not since high school when I played football and one day I forgot to pack my cup with the rest of my gear and I got a knee in my groin. It was excruciating pain. My balls turned into grapefruits. I couldn't wear jeans because when I sat down the enormity of my fun bag put too much strain on my pants and they ripped. Yes, dad, my balls were so swollen that they caused me to split my pants in the crotch. Did I quit playing football? Well just that day. I went out and bought an extra cup so I would never forget to protect my balls. The sad thing is, dad, that my balls were still swollen the next day so I had to wear sweat pants to school and then when it came time for practice I had to wear two cups because my original cup floweth over. Yes, dad, my balls have been swollen so can I enjoy this wonderful meal and stop talking about balls." Now if only I had the...balls...to actually say that.
Anyway, if I can get the voting stuff set up, the first two brackets will be up tomorrow. I'm going to go unwind and try to sleep.
I haven't done one of these in quite some time so for the benefit of my newer readers here are 100 questions about me. I also am looking for a way to erase my memory of something that happened this weekend and delaying another entry that I want to make that will take some time to work on.
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? On my right middle finger I have two scars, one is from when I was about 5 or 6 and I tipped over my big wheel and it crushed my finger and the other is from my senior year in high school when a dog bit me
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? paint, heads of deer that my grandfather shot
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I probably snore but I have been told that I talk and laugh
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? I listen to most anything other than country...well modern country
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? That isn't my earliest memory but I have been told that it was early in the morning like 1 or 2
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? A big bag of money that is so heavy I have to drag it with me everywhere I go and the bag has to have a giant dollar sign on the side
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? Love, Cop Rock, New Ulm
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? my special purpose, my Blazer
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 6'2"
10. ARE YOU CLAUSTROPHOBIC? In certain situations like in an elevator
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? not really except when I am watching some sort of horror movie
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? ah, that I can't remember but the last thing to make me cry was that Christian the Lion video
13.WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? that I will never succeed and sometimes it looks that way, dying alone
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? I am not that picky but I do hope they would have eyes but hair may be optional
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING AT? Someone was an English major...actually have thought this through, it would be my favorite spot but I can't give it away in case my future wife would be reading this
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? I used to guzzle energy drinks but now I drink coffee
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? pig or cow
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I have a craving for some cookie dough
19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME? I like navy blue
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? those little crackers I hope so yes
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? a Nintendo back when I was 10 or so because it helped me develop my hand/eye coordination
22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH? not really
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? note anymore, the arthritis has set in
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? I detest brands
25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY? Doris Roberts, Edward Norton, Franke Potente, Seth Rogen
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Yes
27. WHAT KIND IS IT? 2 cats
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? That may be out of my control
Where's number 29? Ooops.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED. 79...the old football number
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? I have never dated a blonde so brunette?
32. FAVORITE QUOTE? "God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes."
"Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back."
"In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another"
“America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.”
33. FAVORITE PLACE? Like I said before I can't give it away, possibly when it's not underwater...Devil's Lake
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Even though I am an American, yes I have been.
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? a wink and a smile
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Scottie Pippen and Sean "X-Pac" Waltman
37. FIRST JOB? lawn care specialist
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? I used to call a local 9 hole golf course asking if Tiger was there
39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE? well personally I don't believe I have one and if I do I have already met her and lost her
40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? listening to Bob and Tom
41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? yes
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? that I am funny...probably looking, a little old lady at church said that I was very intelligent
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? no
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? restored health, vigor, and a return to my youth
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES? I don't really think I want kids but if I did have them they would have strange names...Atia, Octavia, Lucius, Kramer
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? no
47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? fat guy hatred, full of herself, obnoxious, nipple hair
48. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL? forced infidelity? actually it would have been German or state football championship game
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? I get a shampoo that describes my demeanor..Suave
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I cannot write any more so I print and I think it rocks because I am breaking out the old Denealian writing style even though I never was taught that style
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? corned beef
52. ANY BAD HABITS? nails, at times I have a high opinion of self, I no longer smoke or drink heavily
53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON? Isn’t everyone a jealous person in some respect?
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hell, no! I'm a massive tool
55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? I've never been in that situation so I can't condemn it because if given the option I might say yes but I equate sex with love so it would be too much of a mindscrew
56. DO LOOKS MATTER? I bitch that they shouldn't but that is because I am a minger
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I used to drink and get in a batting or pitching cage, I developed some great pitches to relieve my stress, now I write or I get out the guitar
No 58?
59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE? to be happy
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? I loved G.I. Joes and matchobx cars
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? I think about 60 but it seems that my directory is a sausage fest
62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID? He was just a fossil that had yet to have its DNA replicated
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? No, why would you think of such nonsense
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? This is the most difficult question, if I could select which ones I would have to go with these instant four cheese potatoes which sometimes serves as my meals
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? humor, intelligence, taste in music
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Tiny, Tank, Wurm, Sheisskopf,
67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER? I would want invisibilty
68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Freaks and Geeks, Deadwood, Rome, Sopranos, Seinfeld, Friday Night Lights...too many to list
69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES? Kindness kills
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough or whatever ever Culver's is pimpin' on a particular day
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? just because I live in a rural area and have worked on farms doesn't mean I am lacking any digits
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM? no
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT? since it is almost 12, reading and sleep
74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER? I want to live on a deserted island
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? not unless they want to
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO Bob and Tom on the TV
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Powerade
78. ?
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Eyes or smile.
80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? Xanga? write
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? PARIS HILTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR? spring or fall
83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY? right now it is Dr. Pepper Soda Poppers
84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND I have
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? it varies, today it looks rather dark brown but yesterday it looked a little dark blonde but thinning
86. EYE COLOR? gray
87. SHOE SIZE? 17
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? I would have to say Culver's or Burger King
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? It's a local joint none of that chain stuff
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? I don't have any sushi places near me and the Chinese buffets have bastardized sushi which is disgusting
91. WATCH TV TODAY? Yes
92. FAVORITE DATES OF THE YEAR? dates on a Friday night which are non-existant
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? I play piano, cowbell, and guitar and right now I am learning to play the electric triangle so I can do some wicked solos, I am also developing a new game called Cowbell Hero
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Aren't they the same?
95. KISSES OR HUGS? Kisses are electric but hugs are comforting
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationship.
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Coke..the pop
98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEHUSBAND? I am hoping on marrying a doctor or lawyer so that I can become one some day
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Deliver Us from Evie
Recent Comments