So the first two brackets of my Tournament of Randomocity are in full effect and there are some surprises in those brackets.  So keep voting because I will close those brackets on Monday of next week. 

Now for the next brackets...I remind you to vote for who you think would win in a contest.  The first bracket is pretty self-explanatory.  The Movie Badass Bracket...vote for whomever you think is the bigger badass.  To help with your decision, when you click the link to vote you will see a picture for whom or what you are voting for.

Movie Badass Bracket
#1 King Leonidas from 300 vs #16 Mark Borchardt from American Movie

Movie Bracket 1vs16 

#8 Kahn from The Wrath of Kahn vs #9 vs Rocky Balboa

Movie Bracket 8vs9

#4 Indiana Jones vs #13 The Devil's Rejects from House of a Thousand Corpses and The Devil's Rejects

Movie Bracket 4vs13

#5 The man with no name from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly et al vs #12 Tyler Durden/ Narrator from Fight Club

Movie Bracket 5vs12

#2 Beatrix Kiddo from Kill Bill vs #15 Alonzo Harris from Training Day

Movie Bracket 2vs15

#7 Darth Vader vs #10 Daniel Plainview from There will be Blood

Movie Brackets 7vs10

#3 John McClain from the Die Hard series vs #14 The Crow from The Crow series

Movie Bracket 3vs14

#6 Bill Lumberg from Office Space vs #11 Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men

Movie Bracket 6vs11

The next bracket is just pure craziness and I can see many people throwing off their friends and subscription list.  Seeing this is a tournament of random stuff I decided to just look for random things around the house or on TV.  Flipping through channels is so much fun when looking for contestants for a tournament.  I don't know really know how to say who you should vote for...maybe whichever you like better.

Random Bracket
#1 Ice Cream/ Culver's(I love Culver's but I realized that not everyone in the world has Culver's near them.  Just a select few in the Midwest and Texas) vs #16 Checkbooks (Guess what I was balancing when I made the brackets?)

Random Bracket 1vs16

#8 Afghans(Not the people, they are Aghanistanis.  These are the blankets.  I have three that my mom made for me.  Since I have had pneumonia she wants to make sure that I stay warm) vs #9 Hand Sanitizer (Not only does it kill 99.9% of germs but it also smells fresh)

Random Bracket 8vs9

#4 Shamwow (You are voting for the towels and not the pitch man Vince) vs #13 Ceiling Fans (I need to get mine in running order)

Random Bracket 4vs13

#5 Judy Blume books (She has given us some of the most controversial children's books) vs #12 Super Ninteno (forget PS3 or X-Box, SNES is where it is at)

Random Bracket 5vs12

#2 Cadbury Mini Eggs(Every Lent these wonderful chocolate treats make their way to the stores and into my stomach and then into the sewer system) vs #15 Broccoli (Cursed, vile weed.  You know it isn't good for you.)

Random Bracket 2vs15

#7 Asthma Inhalers (I need them at times if I want to live) vs #10 Republican Party (Some people think we need this group of people in order to live)

Random Bracket 7vs10

#3 Bubble Gum (Fun to chew and helps improve math scores) vs #14 VH1 Reality Series(Who knew sexually transmitted disease laden people could be so entertaining) Random Bracket 3vs14

#6 Imitation Cologne (Sometimes smells better than the real and because I am a miser, Dollar Store cologne is the bomb) vs #11 Texas Hold'em (Nothing gets me laughing more than hearing an announcer say 'ten-jack off suit) Random Bracket 6vs11

Make sure you vote.  Sorry if it doesn't make sense.  It's not supposed to.  It is just a random tournament to go with all the other tournaments that are transpiring at this time of year.  I just wanted to give you, my readers and not my stalkers, a chance to determine the outcome of a tournament that was free of ESPN's influence.

It's time for another advice entry.  Time sure has flown by this week.  It has been a dreadful week as far as weather goes here in Lake Wobegone...

WTF!  Garrison Keillor tried to hijack my blog.  No mas, old man!  Go take your Lutheran jokes elsewhere!

Now, Garrison Keillor free...thank God.  Cocky and I are back to answer your questions about life, love, and all things in between.

Time for another round of advice with me and my cock, Cocky McCockburns

Me: Are you ready, Cocky?
Cocky:  Cocked, locked, and ready to unload some advice

Dear Godfather and Cocky,
Where do you come up with your ideas?  I mean you seem like such a creative person so I would just like to know when and where do you get these ideas?
                                                                  Courtney in Rhode Island
Me: Well, Courtney, you actually have me blushing.
Cocky: Are you sure that isn't because of broken capillaries from drinking?
Me: Actually I get ideas all the time for writing and one of the things I recommend is carrying around a small not pad with you because you never know when the creative bug will bite.
Cocky: You never take a note pad with you into your throne room.
Me:  Ugh...that's because I am "reading" in my "reading room".
Cocky: Yeah.."reading".  Look Courtney, I find the best thoughts come post orgasm...hahaha come

Dear Godfather and Cocky,
Will the Minnesota Vikings ever win a Super Bowl with Brad Childress as a coach?
                                                                    Kachino in Montreal
Me: That is an interesting question.  Thank you for submitting.
Cocky:  Interesting?  You have to be kidding?
Me: No, Cocky, the Vikings are perennial contenders and with the weakened NFC North they may have a shot.
Cocky: And I may just go have a shot of your Fighting Cock bourbon.  Listen, Kachino, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl under Childress as soon as I start laying eggs.  Ain't gonna happen!  He's too weak of a leader.  Besides the brains behind the operation in Philadelphia was Andy Reid.  GO EAGLES!
Me: Cocky, you're an Eagles fan?
Cocky: Eagles, Cardinals, Falcons, Ravens, Seahawks....I support my own.

Dear Godfather and Cocky,
How do I make sure Sarah Palin never makes it to the elections in 2012?
                                                                            Misuriver
Me: The first thing I would suggest is that you petition your senators and representatives to propose legislation that would expel Alaska from the United States thus by making it a foreign nation which would mean Sarah Palin couldn't run for office.
Cocky:  What a smart man!  You bitch and whine about gas prices just imagine how bad they will get if we eliminate Alaska and the Goddess of the North.  Oh she is so fine.  She makes me get up each morning and perch on my wood. 
Me: Cocky, you really didn't answer the question.
Cocky: MMMM bringing down a moose...snowmobiling...dress wearing...turkey pardoning....I am in love!  Ok, want to get rid of Sarah Palin?  MITT ROMNEY 2012!!!! Embrace it, love it, sniff it...oh yeah he smells like money.

Dear Godfather and Cocky,
This isn't so much a question but a statement that I would like to read your opinion on the matter:  I believe our society is consumed with voyeurism and we shouldn't complain when the studios feed us reality TV or the Britneys or Parises of the world because we enjoy watching trainwrecks.  Take it away guys.
                                                                          Abel in Arizona
Me: I believe you are touching an exposed nerve here.  There is no lazier television than reality television and we only ask for more when we watch that crap and not quality programming.  This is why Arrested Development is off the air as is Studio 60 and just another reason why Friday Night Lights and 30 Rock are on the chopping block.  People have historically always slowed down to stare at the car wreck on the highway.
Cocky: If some network or studio tried to feed me Paris or Britney, I'd send that shit back to the kitchen because I don't eat crabs...but I would enjoy dining on clams...OH SNAP!  Give this cock a hand slap!

Dear Godfather and Cocky,
Sometimes I feel that the people closest to me are actually the ones that I want to avoid. It's not that I hate them. I just feel that whenever I try to bring up conversation topics that I feel are worth talking about, (like politics, history of the universe, underlying layers in deep movies, etc.) it goes right over their heads. Where are all the dreamers and thinkers?
                                                                       Jenny in Hillsboro, WI
Me: It is certainly difficult when you have friends that you hold near and dear, but you feel that you can't have meaningful conversations with them.  Probably most of the time you are with these friends you are at social functions like parties or relaxing at the bar or restaurant after a long day of work.  People really don't want to dive into heavy topics after a hard day's work. They just want to dive into their Moons over My Hammy.  They don't want to leave their comfort zone.  One thing that you could do is set-up a specific get-together that is intended for political discussion.  Not like a book club but something like the old thinking depots of yore.  This could persuade people to come out of their shell and talk about the things you want to discuss.
Cocky: BRAVO!  Why don't you just have a Keith Olbermann viewing party?  You could take a shot whenever he does an aside to the camera or talks in a funny voice or makes a reference to sports or how evil the Republican party is.
Me:  Well what is your suggestion?
Cocky:  Clearly, Jenny, you aren't the alpha female in the pack that you run with.  Why don't you hate them?  Punch them in the throat if they don't want to talk about what you do.  I guarantee a punch in the throat will do the trick but of course it may be some time before they start talking.  You ask where all the dreamers and thinkers are?  Well you are in Hillsboro, Wisconsin.  They are at the Kwik Trip at 229 Mill Street.  There are only 5 of them there in Hillsboro.  They usually hang out behind the dumpsters smoking Kools and you can find them most every night.  They hold their discussion groups on Thursdays at 8:30PM, rain or shine.  You should be careful because the big one, the one they call Roscoe, he tries to play grab-ass with new members.

Dear Godfather and Cocky,
Who is the greatest character in a movie or TV show about the Old West?
                                                                             Shane in Tulsa
Me:  I am not much of a fan of the old westerns that you saw on tv or in the theater.  I do however enjoy the new westerns such as Unforgiven, the remake of 3:10 to Yuma, Open Range, The Assassination of Jesse James, and the HBO series Deadwood.  My favorite character would have to come from Deadwood, Al Swearengen.  You root for him despite his being labeled "the bad guy". 
Cocky:  Two words...Rooster Cogburn

Me: No surprise there.
Cocky:  There he is enjoying the Fighting Cock, did you know they originally intended to name him after my family name, McCockburns, but they thought it was too ethnic-y. 
Me: So what about Cockburns Port?
Cocky: Same family...when they arrived that Portugal's version of Ellis Island they made them drop the Mc.
Me:  I wish they would have done that with the fine Scottish restaurant called McDonald's.
Cocky: Just get rid of the entire chain?
Me: Yes, it is deplorable with the working conditions and health care.
Cocky: But where would you take your dates?

Well that is it for this week.  Make sure you vote in my Tournament of Randomocity(you can vote more than once just like the presidential election).  I will have the second half of the first round up sometime tomorrow.
And if you have any questions for me and my cock send me a comment here or you can email Cocky at advicewithcocky@gmail.com.