It seems like I did one of these on a Friday the 13th not that long ago...oh yeah, last month.  Today was an interesting day for me.  I think for the first time in a couple of months, I actually ate three meals.

Time for the round up!

Thom Yorke continues to be my hero.  Last week I mentioned how Miley Cyrus went on a radio talk show to complain about how evil Radiohead is because they didn't want to pose for pictures with her because they are her rock gods even though she can only name one of their songs.  This week Kanye West had to chime in about his disgust for Radiohead.  He said that he wanted to meet them and have photos taken and Thom Yorke said that they didn't do that.  Kanye went on to write in all capital letters on his blog about how upset he was and also said he refused to stand when Radiohead played at the Grammy's.  Well Thom Yorke fired back on the Radiohead blog.  He wrote: wish us all a safe journey if you still like us and you're not one of those people i have managed to offend by doing nothing xx.  Miley will get all whiney and Kanye will try to type in something larger than all caps.  The war of words waged by two idiots against sensibility has begun.  By the way here is Miley's totally 100% legit and real Xanga.  It's called sarcasm.

Here we see Shauna Sand at a shoe store trying to find the perfect pair of shoes to accentuate her whoredom for when she is called on stage to accept the Mother of the Year Award.  Shauna has been telling people that she is training her daughter for a future Playboy photo shoot.  Shauna has been teaching her how to pose and walk and be naked on camera.  Maybe that is something that mothers do with their daughters, I have no clue since I have no children.  Oh by the way, the daughter that Shauna is prepping for the pages of Playboy...she's only 9 years old.  Let's hope the whore gene skips a generation or that the girl grows up and wants to be a contributing member of society.

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel broke up again.  I didn't even know they were back together but according to publicists, this time it is over for good.  Sweet!  Sarah Silverman is single.  I <3 Her!  I am such a dork for typing that.  I don't care, Sarah owns my heart.  I love her so much I don't care what she does with Matt Damon. 

Pete Doherty lost me a lot of money in Las Vegas this week.  I bet against the odds that he would make it to age 30 and he did.  That dude failed me in a big way.  Who knew heroin could keep a person alive this long

Pam Anderson was a guest model at a fashion show last weekend and darned if she didn't pop out of both her outfits that she modeled.  I get the feeling that either those clothes are faulty and no woman in her right mind should wear them or maybe it was staged.  Hmmm it gets me thinking...is Freddy Krueger her plastic surgeon?
 
Octo-Mom has lost another publicist.  This time apparently because of Octo-Mom's mental state.  All the spokesperson said is, "That woman is nuts."  That is two publicists that Octo-Mom has lost since having her children.  The other one left because of all the death threats that Octo-Mom received.  why don't more women who have children get a publicists...oh yeah, they are SANE!  The other photo is of Octo-Mom's new $600K house.  She made the down payment with all the money from the interviews that she has conducted.  I guess sometimes it pay to be a whore.  So the house is 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms...she's lost two publicists:one because of death threats and the other because of mental issues...this will not end well for those kids.

Miley Cyrus is pure evil despite having a totally legit Xanga.  Anyway this week she was spotted at a Millions of Milkshakes.  When she left and pulled out of the parking space it was revealed that she was parking in a handicapped space.  I won't make any comment about her mental capacity.  If your voice sounds like a mix between a 16 year old girl and the Marlboro Man I guess that means you're handicapped.  Seriously have you heard her speak?  She sounds like she has a two pack a day habit.

Martha Stewart's beloved dog, Genghis Khan, died in a fire at the kennel where he was boarding.  Martha twitter about and you would think she would be devastated BUT one hour later she twitters again.  I don't have a twitter but I am really beginning to enjoy how it exposes how shallow some people are.

Mandy Moore married a homeless guy this week.  Oops...that's just her fiance(well new husband) Ryan Adams.  That was fast.  They just got engaged a few weeks ago and now they are married.  I bet she is ready to push out a little emo hipster baby.  So because she is such a terrific Christian, she probably had to get married.  Oh, I need to go watch Saved.

Madonna is having an identity crisis or maybe she is just jealous of her daughter Lourdes' youth.  Madonna needs to give those clothes back because only Jerri Blank can pull off that look. 

Lily Allen is very kinky.  Two weeks ago she announced that she was a furry.  Last week I believe she showed me that she is into sploshing.  This week there are rumors that Lily is into toe sucking.  I really don't know about that.  Toes...all sweaty...possible fungus...ew!  Oh well, Lily proved to be quite feisty by trying to take out some paparazzi with a water bottle.  I love her too.  Maybe I should convert to a religion that accepts plural marriage or at least move to a country where plural marriage is freely practiced.  If Lily would leave the toe sucking and the Uggs behind...well I would propose to her that we spend the next 5 to 10 years together.

Here is photographic proof that Kristen Johnson and Kathryn Hahn are actually going through with the murder that is the remake of Absolutely Fabulous.  I beg NBC not to air this travesty.  Has the been a decent sitcom to debut in the last 3 years that was totally original?  I had an idea for an original sitcom but it got shot down.  Apparently there isn't a market for shows about a blue collar worker married to conjoined twins.

Kate Moss is teaching the next generation how to do it and by it I mean to get drunk and depressed at a fashion show/party.  Her daughter should be proud, she's learning from the best.  So what could make Kate so depressed and disgusted looking?

Maybe that Beth Ditto fills out clothing better than she could or maybe that Beth Ditto was even modeling and Kate wasn't even asked.

This is for the ladies.  The older guy is legendary quarterback Joe Montana.  The kid with him is his 18 year old son Nate.  I have to admit that he does look nice.  Maybe we'll get to see more of the young Montana since he will be putting his hands under another guy's nuts at Notre Dame this upcoming season.  Nate will probably be a backup quarterback.  I know he has his father's looks but can he match his father's talent and knack for last second wins.

Remember when Jessica Simpson fired her band and suspended her tour so she could regroup?  Well she is back on tour again and this week performed at a Strawberry Festival in Florida.  I believe her next tour stop is the parking lot of the Shuqualak, Mississippi Piggly Wiggly.  For taking time off, those daisy dukes sure are looking good.

Jamie Lynn Spears is recording a country album.  SWEET!  I wonder how many cider jug solos will be on that album.  Jamie has said she wants to be  the next Jessica Simpson but only a few women can fill her bra.  Jamie has country music street cred, she's an unwed teen mother who was raised by abusive parents.  All that is missing is a dog...no, a tractor...no, TALENT!

TMZ learned that James Franco is enrolled in classes at Columbia University so they followed him to class one day and this is what their cameras picked up.  Ah...how cute!  He thinks he's people!  Actually he is probably just sleeping off a wicked hangover either that or somehow I am a lecturer at Columbia...yeah, he's hungover.

Hayden Panettierre recently fought the paparazzi.  She said that they have ruined her life.  Actually, Hayden, you have ruined many people's lives because of your horrible acting on Heroes.  She also broke up with her fiance that is a co-star on Heroes.  That is going over well because now Hayden refuses to be on the set with him at the same time.  Oh and she is also hitting on the lead singer of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Anthony Kideis, who happens to be 46 years old.  She's 18.  So she likes older men?  No...No...No...she has ruined Heroes.

Here we see Gavin Rossdale running from the police.  Actually they are just filming a new music video.  I had to share and spread the fur love.

How many of you remember this child star?  That is Emmanuel Lewis.  He turned 38 this week.  38?!?!?!?!?  He looks like he should be finishing up 8th grade and getting ready for freshmen year of high school.  I can't believe it has been 26 years since Webster debuted.  I wonder what the Papadapolises are up to these days.

Emma Watson wrote a note to herself on her chest to remind her how to act when drunk.  This photo was taken outside of a bar that Emma was exiting of course.  I think that maybe Emma just discovered one of the many uses for pens: writing.

The last we heard from DJ AM was that he escaped a plane crash with Travis Barker way back in September.  Well the dude was almost in another plane crash.  He had a seat aboard the plane that crashed outside of Buffalo.  Before he got to the airport he started to get a bad feeling about flying that night so instead of a plane he rented a car and drove.  This dude is turning into Final Destination. 

Don't worry, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are still into Kaballah but apparently the Jewish holiday of Purim is upon us and that holiday is sort of like the Catholic holiday of Halloween.  Sometimes it's nice to see when religions bridge the gap but they still need to get rid of the douchebags.  Why can't Xenu come and take them and the Westboro Baptist church and dump them in a volcano.

Chuck Norris has said that he wants to run for president of Texas.  He elaborated that if things get much worse in our country, Texas as well as some other states will secede from the Union.  I think that Total Gym turns a person into a Total Moron.  I hope the tinfoil division of Xanga take that to heart.  I guess we can't really blame Chuck.  He did just turn 69 years old.  Pretty soon he'll be kicking ass with a walker(Texas Ranger?) in the nursing home just like Verne Gange.  I just hope Chuck realizes he's irrelevant and that his internet meme is over.

Chris Brown pulled out of the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards even though Nickelodeon stood behind him 100% despite that incident.  I love how he physically beat and bit a woman and then threatened to kill her has been downgraded to an "incident".  It was also discovered that Chris had been cheating on Rihanna with his manager, a 45 year old woman.  I am not discriminating against age but he's 18.  Hmmm I can see him lobbying and threatening people that they better cast him in a remake of Henry and June because Hollywood has no more original ideas.

In other Chris Brown and Rihanna news; they are recording a duet for his new album but it will supposedly release as a single in time for prom season.  People are saying it will rival the Lionel Richie and Diana Ross duet Endless Love.  It sounds so romantic!  The only problem is that most proms try to incorporate a song title into their theme.  I don't know how they will incorporate this song because it is called, "Bitch, Get Outta My Bidness".

Cat Cora, the Iron Chef, is pregnant.  She was inseminated and in three months her partner Jennifer Cora will be inseminated.  This was sort of shocking to me.  There goes my theory about being able to judge a woman by how able she is handling a pork loin.  I now know what the secret ingredient is: CLAMS!  ALLEZ CUISINE!

Now that her singing career is over and since the family only needs one washed up singer, Ashlee Simpson is set to play a character in the new(not original though) show Melrose Place 2.0.  She will be playing a Sydney Andrews type character.  I know I will not watch this.  Ashlee, just because you were a guest star on one of TV's top drama's, CSI, that doesn't mean you are ready for a fulltime role...wait, does 7th Heaven actually count?

Here is the latest picture of Ashlee's son, Bronx Mowgli.  You are probably wondering why he's so shocked.  Well first he is shocked that someone considered his mom talented enough to appear as a regular cast memeber of a network television series.  The other reason is because he just learned that his name was Bronx Mowgli.

Controversy erupted at a Britney Spears' concert earlier this week.  She was probably lip-synching her song and didn't realize that her mic was on so that when she went backstage for a wardrobe change everyone in the audience heard Britney announce that her "pussy is hanging out".  The picture probably shows us at which point in the concert it hung out.  No amount of Prozav can keep a hillbilly from talking about snatch.  Below is the video, wait for the 32 second mark.

Also here is another special video: Joaquin Phoenix is very committed to his new act.

Make sure you vote in my Tournament of Randomocity.  I suggest right-clicking on the link and opening as a new tab so you can vote for multiple match-ups.  Have a wonderful weekend...that's an order!