Day: March 31, 2009

  • Places I Talk About

    Last week I posted an entry about the casino that I frequent.  I thought this week I would give you some glimpses of the bar that I frequent...the one that is haunted.  I think I will start off with my first blog entry about The Old Baraboo Inn.


    Last Friday I took a drive to Baraboo, WI to see a pair of friends.  It was my first opportunity to see their new house.  After the initial pleasantries, beers, and tour of the house we decided it was time to head out to the bars.  We decided to go to the bars in Baraboo.  That decision led me to one of the freakiest experiences of my life. 

    I had heard rumors of a haunted restaurant in Baraboo however I just dismissed it as older people's way to tell me to stay out of bars.  Then my friend related a tale of a haunted bar just down the street.  I figured it must be some sort of ploy to get people into the bar.  Well we arrived and upon entry I noticed a strange suffocating vibe.  I also noticed there were only two other people in the bar besides my party and the bartender.  As we went to sit down the other people got up to leave.  I thought to myself that this place certainly isn't haunted with customers.  Although I was proven wrong during a later conversation with the bartender.

    Our order was taken and we had Leinenkugel's Creamy Dark.  I was blown away that they only charged $2 for each glass.  They also had Miller High Life on tap which is something that I don't see everyday.  We started talking with the bartender, and me being as ballsy as I am, asked the bartender if it was true that this place, The Old Baraboo Inn, was haunted.  He regaled us with tales of the origins of the bar and what it used to be.  It was very interesting to hear this guy tell the history of this one building in the old circus town.  It definitely wasn't the type of history I learned about in grade school.  Wisconsin was a wild place back in the 1860s and Baraboo was one of the wildest towns.  Besides being winter home and headquarters for the Ringling Brothers circus, Baraboo was also a meeting point for railroads from Chicago and Minneapolis.  Needless to say, Baraboo had a nefarious reputation.  The Old Baraboo Inn was one of the places where that reputation was earned. 

    Listening to the stories about the gun fights and brothels and prostitutes really made me feel strange.  I started to get chills followed by hot flashes.  It was strange.  The owner then stopped mid-sentence and said to look at his arms.  The hairs were standing on end and he explained that there must be a spirit around.  Now I was getting antsy.  He also told us stories of the renters he has lost over the years.  In particular one lady who has a son with autism.  The son would wake in the middle of the night and have conversations with people who weren't there.  Listening to more and more stories about the place just was really making me feel a connection to the spirits.  Now, some of you may be asking yourselves, "But I thought this guy was educated."  Yes, I am educated but there are just some things out there that I can't explain.  I do believe there are spirits.  I do not know if they are actually a person or an imprint that the person has left behind.  Now I will stray from Baraboo and delve into my life.

    I had an imaginary friend as a child.  Now it seems ridiculous to think about however many studies have been conducted to determine what imaginary friends are and if they are indeed spirits.  I still remember my imaginary friend's name, John.  The strange coincidence with this name is that the first place in which I lived was an apartment above a furniture store.  One of the employees died in the furniture while moving a piece of furniture and can you guess what his name was? John.  There are many other occurrences in from my life that deal with the paranormal such as seeing my then recently departed grandmother petting my cat one night  or a then recently departed uncle smoking cigarettes in his chair for a split second and having the lingering smell of smoke remain in a house when none of the inhabitants were smokers. 

    I grew up in a strange part of the country.  The state of Wisconsin has the largest number of practicing witches in the United States.  Also, about 7 miles from my hometown there is a small town that has a spiritualist camp where people take classes to become witches or hone their psychic abilities.  It was during recess at the Lutheran grade school in said town that the spiritualist camp descended from the bluff above our playground to bow down to our school's trees and conduct secret ceremonies.  Also there has been Satanic cult activities in the area involving animal mutilation.  My grandmother also told stories of how she watched Native American spirits traveling on the abandoned railroad.  Needless to say I have had some experience to the paranormal.

    Back to Baraboo, as I was drinking my Creamy Dark, I felt a presence.  At first I thought nothing of it until I felt intense pressure around my throat.  It wasn't a light grab or a brush, this was almost as if I was being choked.  Of course I wasn't choking but I felt like something was trying to choke me.  Then one of the motion sensor machines came on and no one went by it.  We decided to wrap up our night at the Old Baraboo Inn soon thereafter. 

    It was an interesting night to say the least.  I came home and looked up some information on the site online and found some interesting articles. 

    Wisconsin State Journal article

    Milwaukee Visitor's Guide with picture of the bar

    La Crosse Tribune article

    WMTV Madison NBC affiliate article

    I hope you find these articles interesting as well as my writing.  If you are a skeptic.  I was when I entered the Old Baraboo Inn and right now I can say that I am not that skeptical.  Also, PLEASE no jokes about BaraBOO.


    The entrance...the owner shot all the deer on his property outside of town.  Yes, those are panels from race cars.  The owner used to be a NASCAR driver but not on the top level but the one below.

    They call this guy the nightwatchman.

    For some reason half of Freddie Krueger with a deer head is the dj at the Old Baraboo Inn.

    That is the side panel and hood of the owner's race car.

    This is a side panel from the car of legendary NASCAR driver and Wisconsin native Dick Trickle...yes, his name is Dick Trickle and I realize how obscene that sounds.  I still believe that Tom Cruise's character in Days of Thunder is based on Dick Trickle or could possibly be his son.

    This is Lurch.  He is motion activated so when we are sitting at the bar and he goes off with no one around it creeps us out.

    That Remington panel is from Dale Earnhardt Jr's car.  There are only three in existance.  When I first took this picture I thought I had photographic proof of a ghostly prescence.  I looked to the left of the TV and noticed a white dot.  Well it turns out a clock was there revealing a different color paint.  That corner is where a paranormal investigation team picked up some of those Electronic Voice Phenomenon.  I will have to get a hold of the cd so I can share those with you.

    I am watching the watchmen.  I noticed the skulle under the Marilyn photo for the first time when I took that photo. 

    When you say Wisconsin, you've said it all.

    This photo got smaller...hmmm...I edited it to protect someone but in the mirror I saw a face.  I am going to have to go back to the bar and examine the mirror to make sure it isn't just a bunch of streaks.

    I hope you enjoyed a little walk in my shoes.

  • Porno Parodies

    I haven't done one of these posts in quite a while so why not since I am coming back from my hiatus.  I originally started posting these when all the porn movies came out parodying the favorite TV shows of yesteryear like The Brady Bunch and The Munsters.  Sure, this post may get me rated a rating which I don't deserve but oh well.  I will do this because I find these hilarious.


    Was Rollerball that big of a hit movie that it deserves a porno parody?  Maybe the 70s version but not the remake with LL Cool J.

    This movie sucks.

    This movie gave me incredible nightmares when they wanted to give me a colonoscopy. 

    So I don't really know about this one.  The chainsaw is scary especially after reading this story.  It's a good thing that they make all these parodies of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre because I would rather watch these than the remakes.

    So I think I would rather watch this than Charlie's Angels.

    So this is the third movie in The Erotic Witch Project.  Hopefully their second and third movies were better than the second in the real series.

    If this is a parody of the Osborune family, the Ozporns ARE REALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL!

    Well that title is fitting since most of the people who would watch that may be virgins.

    You know that scene in The Exorcist with the crucifix?  I hope that isn't in here.  That tagline on the bottom needs some holy water poured on it.

    A parody of a parody of Cops?  Oh no, I've exposed the absurdity!  Please give me the handcuffs.

    Coming soon to porn retailers near you: Not the Cosbys XXX.  I would have preferred the name The Cocksby Porno but what do I know.  I do know that the guy they have playing Bill really knows how to wear a  Cosby sweater...wait, is that Bill Cosby? 

    They really want you to come and knock on their doors.

    Well that is it for this installment of Porno Parodies.  Oh and I forgot to announce in my last post that I have unveiled a new line of advertising for my blog. 
    Coming soon to a side of a bus near you...if you live in the metropolitan Madison and Wisconsin Dells area: