I hate when my cats get hairballs.  Of course they decided to hack up next to me and I am what is known as a sympathy puker.  I had a student puke and I had to leave and get the creepy janitor to clean it because I wasn't about to blow in front of my class.  Anyway this cat starts coughing and out comes this thing of twisted fur and food and whatever else and it was about the size of a cigar...not a Swisher sweet but one of my Sinatras.  Anyway on to the round up.

That old bag is almost as big as her purse.  Victoria Beckham is so tiny and she loves the handbags.  She has $2million worth of handbags.  I am boggled by that.  My mom usually got her purses at Walmart or the local liquidators and of course I am single so I have no clue about handbags.  She must have so much disposable income.  She probably lights her fireplace with hundred dollar bills and wipes her ass with fifties.  She also keeps David's boyfriends silent with the bills that have Woodrow Wilson on them.  Oh, you don't know which bill Woodrow Wilson is on?  Well research it and get back to me.

Roseanne has been blogging about American Idol.  Here's an excerpt: "the u.s. elections! it's all for show and has no substance, offensive homophobic sexist and hateful. the closeted gay guy who goes to church won over the gay guy who is "out". simon fuller never tells the truth, because the truth is that simon fuller hates originality and talent, and only likes what is common and hack. That is what american record buyers support--same shit different day... the white guy who sings with an emotional catch in his voice that little girls can have safe romantic sexual fantasies about. FUCKIN pat boone YUCK! cancel this atrocious show. the new girl looks like a boy in her bikini...she probably has a dick too. its all bullshit, just like everything else is all bullshit here, starting with that governor, an austrian closet case who hangs around with my ex husband who is a complete sociopathic LOON!"
So Roseanne...tell us how you really feel...god I hate that saying...anyway she is on to something about the record buying public.

Robert Downey Jr. is so cool.  He should be up for the role of Sinatra in Scorsece's upcoming movie.  Here we see him showing us that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.  Ah...I'm sad, I didn't get the Sinatra part. 

Speaking of getting something...Phil Spector received a sentence of 19 years for the murder of Lana Clarkson.  He is lucky he only got 19 years, he should have received a life sentence for messing up the Beatles and making us look at that absurd hair.  Oh well 19 years could be a life sentence for him since he is 65.

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend are still celebrating in Cannes.  This week they were invited to a yacht party, a yacht that Sir Elton John owns.  OK, so he is a knight but has anyone seen him in a suit of armor?  Anyway Paris and her boyfriend were disgusting guest by the public displays of lust so Paris got the bright idea that they should head below and find an empty room.  Well a steward caught them and told them to leave the ship under captain's orders.  People cheered as they were escorted off the yacht.  When asked the next day about this, Paris said that she isn't a whore.  I suppose that was a lookalike or a stunt double in those sextapes?  Actually, Paris, I called you a cum ditch, you give whores a bad name.   She went on to say that she can't stand The Hills.  Hmmm Paris and I have something in common.  I need my gun and a single bullet.  That is funny that she said that.  Her boyfriend is on the recent season and it's also aired by MTV which airs her show.  No one has ever accused her of being smart or having half a brain.

I can't believe I haven't posted this beauty earlier.  This is Ruth-Ann, Miley Cyrus's grandmother.  Miley needs to adopt that look...NOW!  Could you imagine the amount of cash Disney and Miley would rake in if they started selling perm supplies and Hannah Montana hair dryers like you see in the beauty parlor?  Can't you just see gangs of teenage girls all with perms?  I need help.

Good news!  We haven't seen the last of Adam Lambert!  Brian May, of Queen, was so impressed by the runner up on the most recent season of American Idol that he told Rolling Stone that the members of Queen are thinking of reuniting and asking him to be their new singer.  OK, Queen must be senile because there can only be one queen in Queen and that queen was Freddie Mercury.

Just like Norm Coleman, people are calling for a recount of the American Idol final vote.  It turns out that Kris Allen may have had an unfair advantage in the win.  The company that did the text voting was AT&T and they took demo phones to numerous parties around America for Kris Allen.  They gave the people texting tutorials and only showed them how to text for Kris.  The AT&T people then took the phones back after the votes were recorded and left.  No representatives went to Adam Lambert parties.  Oh well if Lambert does go on tour with Queen, he'll have a much better career than anything Kris Allen could hope for.

Angelina Jolie escaped from the thinspo police so that she could have her cake and eat it too.  She was actually hospitalized because she was injured on the set of her new movie, Salt.  The specifics of her injury are sketchy but people are saying she was hospitalized as a precaution.  Well I hope it isn't too serious.

This is Avril Lavigne.  She is the girl in those Canon camera commercials.  A long time ago it was rumored that she was a singer...a poor one at that.  Here we see her grabbing her punk rocks...I have to stop.  THAT HAT!  WTF!  ARE YOU SERIOUS!  How ridiculous!  OK, better. 

No this isn't a joke.  This is the cover for Brooke Hogan's upcoming album.  This economic crisis is making people go crazy.  At least Brooke threw some money at a t-shirt airbrush artist to draw this album.  Yeah, the t-shirt airbrush artist industry is really hurting.  The two booths in my playground(The Dells) haven't been open.  Anyway it appears as if Brooke is living in a world of delusion. 

Speaking of a world of delusion...Brooke's mother is claiming that the Hulkster is using Brooke to tell lies about her.  So Linda is going on the offensive.  She is telling everyone who will listen that Brooke has had breast implants....duh?  She is also threatening to have her boyfriend Charlie put his studying to become a fireman on hold to work on a rap album to show Brooke who is a better performer and he will rap about Brooke.  I've heard a lot of threats in my life...I'm calling the cops on you...I'll give you crabs...I'm telling...but threatening to turn your boyfriend into a pop star is a new one.  And it is one of the most AWESOME threats ever.

Mel Gibson confirmed that his girlfriend is pregnant.  He confirmed it on the Jay Leno show of all places.  That Mel Gibson...CLASS ACT!  Mel claims that his marriage ended 3 years ago but was never officially over until just recently and that his girlfriend's pregnancy had nothing to do with the divorce.  Leno joked that this would be Mel's 20th kid and Mel said no, it's his 8th so now he can be called Octo-Mel.  Actually I am getting ready to call Mel, Broke.  Oksana Grigorieva is stating that she will leave Mel if he doesn't quit drinking and womanizing.  Poor Mel!  Also, she is going to cash in with this baby.  According to an article in the Chicago Sun Times, Mel has agreed to pay her $10million the moment the baby is born.  She has already signed a singing deal with the record label that Mel owns and in documents she is guaranteed $40,000 a month in child support until the child is 18.  ALSO, Mel is responsible for paying for the child's education expenses, private elementary and high school costs plus undergraduate college.  Also there is a potential chance they may marry, she will be paid $25million but have no claim to any other part of Mel's estate at his death.  So girls, here's what you do...find a rich, old, drunk man...tell him you are on the pill...CASH IN!  Oksana has been seen in Mel's personal church praying and lighting candles with the hopes of having triplets.  This woman is pregnant with a winning lottery ticket.

Meg White got married to Jackson Smith, son of Patti Smith, this week.  The ceremony took place in the backyard of Jack White, Meg's bandmate and ex-husband or was it brother...no they were married but the story was they were siblings...WTF!  Anyway another one of my dream girls is off the market.  She plays drums with reckless abandon...that's hot.

Marilyn Manson has resurfaced.  Wow!  Paul Pfeiffer from the Wonder Years has really let himself go!  I suppose breaking up with Dita Von Teese can be hard for a guy.  Then he tried to replace her with Evan Rachel Woods, who he even dressed and styled like Dita, but she left him for Mickey Rourke *SHIVER*.  Yeah all that hurts like hell....see what I did there?  Hell?  He's a priest in the Church of Satan.  Oh and by the way I know he isn't Paul Pfeiffer, that has always been on of the most asinine rumors.

Lily Allen was typing on Twitter the other day and she said that Susan Boyle is overrated.  FINALLY!  Someone had the courage to say it and it was my girl Lily.  Lily went on to say that she herself wasn't talented.  I beg to differ.  She sings, she sucks toes, and she's a furry.  That's talent and how can you not like this song.

Here's a little something for the ladies.  Lenny Kravitz turned 45 this week.  He really needs to get back to making music instead of showing us his door knocker.

When Dr. Hook sang "Cover of the Rolling Stone", I don't think he intended for this crap.  I really don't want to know where those bubbles are coming from.

American Express is suing Courtney Love because she owes $350,000.  Her new publicist, Twitter, had this to say: "outliers waits and im only on chapter 2 teh 10000 hour rule amerex come on i have a good feeling about your solid i bet taurean ass!"  I think she was talking about being sued.  So how does a person rack up $350,000 on a credit card?  Do crack dealers except American Express?

England's finest rose and lady in waiting, Jodie Marsh is trying to become a competitive bodybuilder.  Since she started training she has went from a size 12 to a size 6...whatever that means.  She does look like she is in great shape.  I bet her back is one of the most musclar backs in all over the world since she lugs around those two boulders 24 hours a day. 

Johnny Depp made some hints at retirement in an interview at Cannes this week.  He said that he can't wait until he is able to stop worrying about what he eats and drinks and grows a beer belly.  I hope he grows one soon because that way the ladies may think I am sexy with my beer guy and they will think I have Depp's style...OK now I am as delusional as the Hogan family.

Jon and Kate are horrible people.  They are putting themselves and their money ahead of their children.  That show should be called Jon and Kate plus $$$.  I always wonder if they even have contact with their children.  Anyway a sad fact...more people watched the season premire of their crap than did the season finale of Lost.  Someone has contacted the Pennsylvania Department of Labor to investigate the family for breaking child labor laws.  They are also investigating TLC.  TLC replied with this comment: "TLC fully complies with all applicable laws and regulations. Jon and Kate + 8 is no exception. For an extended period of time, we have been engaged in cooperative discussions and supplied all requested information to the Pennsylvania Department of Labor. We will continue to engage the appropriate officials and meet any standards or regulations that are applicable to TLC productions."  To which I comment: "STOP THIS FUCKING INSANITY BEFORE THOSE GET ANYMORE MESSED UP THAN THEY ALREADY ARE!"

Meet Karen Sala.  She is 46 years old and is the mother of 4 children aged from 20 to 25.  She is suing Keanu Reeves for retroactive child support for 21 years at $150,000  per month and $3million for spousal support retroactive for three years.  She claims that Keanu has father all four of her children and wants him to submit to a paternity test...paging Maury Povich.  So she waits 25 years to tell him and is suing for all that money.  You know I can't help thinking, Keanu at one time was a major star in Hollywood and that is the type of woman he goes for?  This seriously needs to be settled on Maury.

Kevin Bacon has had a rough year.  Bernie Madoff made off with a bunch of his money.  Then for some reason Hollywood decided to remake Footloose and cast Chace Crawford as the lead.  Then this week while waiting for a subway in New York, someone came up and stole the Blackberry right out of Kevin's hands.  I don't know what to think.  Kevin must have shattered a mirror while walking under a ladder and in front of a black cat.

One of these things is not like the others, One of these things just doesn't belong, Can you tell which thing is not like the others By the time I finish my song?  That's Kim Kardashian, Michelle Tratchenberg, and Emmy Rossum.  Did you guess which thing was not like the others? Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong? If you guessed the one in the bikini top is not like the others, Then you're absolutely...right!

Wow, I didn't know riding lawnmowers were that exciting.  Britney Spears has proved me wrong.  There are some things out of frame that you can't see like the dueling banjo players, the jugs marked with Xs, and the people watching wrasslin'.

Britney has been a little vacation before she starts her European tour.  Well the hotel where she was staying was very upset with her children.  Her sons trashed their hotel room.  They tore the drapes, broke an expensive vase, crayoned up the walls, and one took a crap in the pool while swimmers watched in horror.  That is poor parenting and Britney's maids should be disappointed with how they have raised those children.

Videos:
Chris Brown has broken his silence.

Adam Lambert is acknowledging the pink elephant in the room.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

I was going to do a couple of these posts this week but life got in the way. 

I don't know about you but the Cracked.com articles are some of my favorites and this one, 5 Hit Songs that Almost weren't Made, is one of my favorite.  Could you imagine life without some of those songs?

Have you ever found yourself in a music store and happened upon a greatest hits album?  Here are the most unnecessary greatest hits albums.  NELSON?  VANILLA ICE?  I am starting to feel old.  I am in disbelief that Bruce Willis and Shaq are on that list.

I love coincidences especially with history so here are some random coincidences that gave us the modern world.

Do you have a baby?  Is your baby not like other babies in the brain department?  Let me present to you Baby Bush Toys.  I was upset that you can't buy a copy of The Pet Goat on that website.

Now we finally know why Red Bull gives people wings.

This is a classic Craigslist entry.  I love that he is asking for a second date.

If you haven't gathered from reading my site over time, I enjoy movies.  The Cannes Film Festival is currently going on over in France.  One of the hyped movies this year is called "Colin".  It is a zombie movie.  What makes it unique is that the whole movie was made for $70.  Yes, $70.  I think I could afford that budget and also I would have to incorporate Pedro Almodovar's directorial techniques(don't understand, go check out my last celebrity round up).

HE DOES EXIST!  Thanks to google maps, they proved he existed.  I wonder if anyone is looking after him.  In other google maps fun, this game, Real World Racer, takes google maps and makes races for you.  You have to try it.  I would tell you my address so you can race to my house but I seem to have stalkers on Xanga.  Make sure you read the instructions, especially about the sound needed for the game.

I need this new toy.  Hopefully I could still use my cartridges and wouldn't have to blow on them to make them work. 

Here's some useful information about sinking and floating poop.  Hmmm maybe I should get checked out but not by the Turdologist...sorry I plug that guy all the time because I used to live in two of the towns where he has a practice.

Have you ever thought you were a vampire?  Well here is a trust guide to find out.  Somebody probably started that after reading or seeing Twilight. 

I am thinking of moving to Israel so I can serve the mandatory two years in the military just because of this site.

Sure this guy has a dehabilitating disease, but the gambling is so much fun.  My dad has diabetes, maybe I should do something similar with him to make some money.

Here is a funny transcript of the new Star Trek movie.

Did you realize there was an annual Masturbate-a-thon held in San Fransisco?  Yeah, here's some information and an interview with the winner who clocked in almost ten hours of masturbation.  It may be NSFW especially if you go through the slideshow.

Graduation season is upon us and here is a collection of some stories behind graduation traditions.  I never got to throw my hat because both my high school and college graduation ceremonies were treated as church services and showing emotion in church services is forbidden in certain sects.

That is all for this installment.  Enjoy.

I originally wrote this post in December of 2008 when a popular blogger asked a question that went something like, "Who is your least favorite person on Xanga".  It created quite a stir.  I happened upon a book of Mormon devotions that touched on the subject.  At the time I was doing research for an ongoing project that I am still currently chipping away at but I thought the words rang true for the situation then as much as they do now.

In a Period of Pressure
It seems that most of us feel that we are living in a period of pressure-a pressure that seems to be felt at every level of life: the pressure of complexity, the pressure of anxiety, the pressure of responsibility, and the pressure of competition, which is perennial and ever-present-for whoever finds something bigger and better is going to find something still bigger and still better.

And one result of pressure is is impatience-impatience with all of its side symptoms: quick judgment, quick temper, quick criticism-which are so often in evidence from person to person, both in private and in public places.

We often aggravate and irritate each other.  We all have better days than others, and some that are worse; and times when we wish we hadn't been so sharp, times when we wish we hadn't been so selfish, times when we wish we hadn't been caustic and critical; times when we say some things we we wish we hadn't said and make decisions we wish we hadn't made-followed by times to ponder and times to repent.  And likely there never was a time within the limits of this life, when men individually or collectively couldn't find much to criticize, much to misjudge, much to misunderstand. 

Even in families there may be much to misjudge.  Sometimes children are misjudged as to the real reasons for their times of temperament-and parents may be misjudged in the matter of alleged preferences in disturbing privileges and penalties.

People are not perfect; they are not omniscient; they make mistakes-and simply have to do the best they can, with all the circumstances considered-which calls to mind, from Abraham Lincoln, a single significant sentence: "I do the very best I know how-the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so."  And this is a plea, in an age of pressure, in an age of impatience, in an age of anxiety, to be more understanding, more reserved in judgment, more willing to withhold criticism until we know more fully the facts-and to be a little more kindly and considerate in all relationships of life.

The Lord God after all is the judge of all of us-and while the rest of us may reserve the tight to criticize, we ought always to do so with some awareness that we seldom know the full facts.

Impatience: As a Mark of Immaturity
A thoughtful physician once said: "I used to think of impatiences as simply a natural part of some people's personality, but over the years I have come to conclude that habitual impatience is a mark of immaturity."

The pressures of life are on all of us at times, and often it would seem that these pressures are the cause of impatience.  But there is also something of a cycle- for as the pressures increase impatience, impatience increases the pressures-and impatience on the part of one person causes impatience on the part of other people.

Tense nerves, caustic comments, blaring horns, and black looks, and sometimes bad language, are both symptoms and results of pressure and impatience, as we say things we shouldn't say, and do things for which we are soon sorry.

Robert Browning wrote: "The thing I must pity in men is-action prompted by surprise of anger."  And Aristotle offered this observation: "Anybody can become angry- that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

Too many of us often are too touchy, too quick to retaliate, too quick to shoot back sharp replies.  True, there is pressure; there is competition; and often there are seriously pressing problems.  But impatience is seldom the answer-for the person who lives impatiently is himself increasingly uncomfortable and adds to the tension and tempers of everyone around him, and often creates serious hazards for himself and others also.

The whole temper of the times suggests that we relax a little and give ourselves time to think fairly and judiciously before we jump to quick conclusions and lose our tempers and show our immaturity with rude utterance or ill-considered action.

In the words of Peter, who had to learn the lesson of patience: "...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."  And finally, remember that petty and impetuous impatience is a mark of immaturity.

These warring factions...please think about what you are doing for a second.  You may not think that there is any collateral damage from your words but there is.  I am getting sick of this shit.  These so called adults are attacking each worse than what I saw when I taught middle school.  My fucking 5th grade students showed more maturity than I have seen on Xanga in the past few days.  It has made me sick.  I'm sure I am not the only one.  I have thought about quitting this thing because it has deteriorated into nothing more than back and forth attacks.  I know that seems immature on my part but why do I and all the people who just want to blog have to be drawn into these nonsensical fights?  We want Xanga to thrive as a creative community and not to falter as a home of bickering.

I am just disappointed right now and not in the mood to write anything.  So enjoy these pictures that have been building up on my computer.

I was going to take some pictures of my yard with my apple trees, rhubarb, herb garden, lilacs, and garden but it was dark today and then it was rainy.  I also had some work I had to take care.  I heard back from one of the schools I applied for and they basically told me that I was a douche.  Oh well, I have a few more that I am waiting on.  Tomorrow depending on weather I will get some photos of my yard.    I was going to do a post on my views of the whole gay marriage fiasco because this evening I caught Larry King and he had Dennis Prager as a guest and I think my blood pressure raised about 300 points.  That guy...there is just something about him that makes want to...I can't remember what exactly it was that set me off maybe how King brought up how years ago blacks couldn't marry whites and Prager said that this issue was different.  Gay marriage would erode the family as we know it.  Hasn't straight marriage done that?  What percentage of marriages fail?  Catholic poster boy Mel Gibson...schtupping (I had to because of Mel's love for the Jews) a woman that isn't his wife and then knocking her up none the less.  Instead of making gays miserable by withholding their civil rights, let them be miserable by experiencing marriage.  I don't get why Christians fuss about this.  Churches have the right to withhold marriage from whomever they want.  The church that I was a part of refused to marry a couple because they were living together before they were married.  They spend so much time focusing on what two men or two women chose to do with their genitals that they seem to forget that heterosexual promoscuity is also forbidden by the Bible.  They forget that alcoholism is forbidden.  They forget that the Bible condems molesting children and Christ himself suggests that a child molester ought to have a millstone tied around his neck and be thrown into the ocean.  No, they just cover it up and send the ministers to other schools and pay off the parents.  They forget that cursing the deaf and tripping the blind is forbidden.  Maybe if I can borrow from Shakespeare...ok I can because I passed my college's English exam and that means I am qualified to teach grade school English and I have taught high school English...stop laughing...THEY PROTEST TOO MUCH!  Yeah, maybe they want to rub weiners or clams with a member of their sex.  If all else fails, I urge the homosexual community of California to leave and move to Iowa.  It would definitely liven things up amongst all the corn and pigs.  Anyway, I need to go to the hospital because I have a headache THIS big.  Here's you weekly dose of motivation.

Hmmm maybe gays can hire the A-Team.  The A-Team can solve all their problems in an hours time.  Just don't ask them to shoot at anyone, they're horrible shots...damn another post idea.  Anyway, GET MOTIVATED!

I just posted this Job Kernl widget for 500 credits. You can earn free credits too!

A day late, but never short.

I'll start off with a little where are they now.  That is Tiffany, 37, on the left and Debbie Gibson, 38, on the right.  Remember them?  I do. One magical summer whenever I went to the mall I had hopes of catching a surprise mall concert but Tiffany always crushed my dreams by only playing major malls or at least ones I didn't go to.  I am proposing that they reunite and do another mall tour.  That would be totally radical and tubular!

Tila Tequila made this announcement on her Twitter earlier this week: "Before I bounce, and since it’s late...Im gonna tell y’all something REAL FAST, and then delete it ok?  Since nobody is awake...reason why I’ve been feeling sick on and off lately is because yes, I am pregnant! *GASPS******Ok, bye."  Tila has yet to figure out whom the father is but she has narrowed it down to everyone west of the Mississippi River that has a penis.

The Sean Penn/Robin Wright Miller/Natalie Portman story has taken an interesting turn and it has left me wishing that they would just go away.  Natalie Portman was interviewed and she said that she has never been with Sean Penn and is not dating him.  So she has denied all the rumors.  Well Sean Penn, who filed for divorce in 2007 and then changed his mind, did file for divorce back in April and guess what...he has changed his mind and withdrew the petition.  Natalie Portman...ah it's so nice to hear that she didn't soil herself with Penn and pick up whatever Madonna gave him.  I need to send her some roses.

Rihanna responded to the recent leak of nude photos by competing against Pete Wentz in a "Who's the Biggest Douche Bag" contest.  Just by showing up Pete was guaranteed another victory but at the last second Rihanna made that hand gesture which gave her the honor of being the biggest douche bag.  She has accomplished the unthinkable.

Pedro Almodovar, director of such movies as All About My Mother, Talk to Her, Bad Education, and Volver, was interviewed this week and he admitted to being a very hands-on director.  He explained that he has to be involved in every process of the film-making and that if something isn't to his liking he will show the person doing the task how to do it.  He said he takes it to extremes and he has even shown people how to act.  In one of his early movies he was not pleased with his actor's interactions with the actress so Pedro showed him how to act.  Of course the scene was a sex scene and what Pedro had to teach the actor how to do properly was cunninlingus.  Is it too late for me to become a movie director? 

Pam Anderson decided to give everyone a sexy thrill of her hepatitis infected self at an AIDS charity.  You know, I look at Pam and wonder, shouldn't she be at home knitting and sipping on tea?

This week was the finale of American Idol.  Bikini Girl made her triumphant return. AS one popular Xangan already pointed out, there is something different about her.  I think she got a new hairstyle.

Kara DioGuardia took on Bikini Girl during the finale.  I had the video but Fox took it off Youtube.  So who do you think wore the Bikini better?  My answer is probably insignificant but I have to give it to Bikini Girl simply because she has a little meat on her and bones aren't showing.  Oh and Ryan Seacrest ran off the stage screaming and crying at that point because he was worried of catching girl cooties.

Speaking of girl cooties....Adam Lambert has never caught them.  He has said that he loves people speculating as to whether he is gay or not.  I have to admit by his not saying it outright that it gets people talking about him.  Maybe these pictures will shed some light onto his sexuality and maybe this video explains his loss.


Oh yeah, Kris Allen was crowned prom king.

Al Franken turned 58 this week and he is still not in Washington D.C. representing Minnesota as her junior senator.  This is a joke.  I am finished giving Norm Coleman a benefit of a doubt.  He squelched out on giving us those kegs of beer for advertising at the White House of New Ulm.  AL FRANKEN!

Paris Hilton has been at Cannes Film Festival this week.  Here we see her smoking a funny looking cigarette.  She took that cigarette and passed it to other people and then she spent the rest of the night going into fits of laughter and behaving strangely.  What that cigarette was, we will never know.  And while Paris is toking it up in Cannes, her neighbors are trying to have her kicked out of her house.  See Paris just rents.  I guess the economic crisis effects even her.  Paris' neighbors weren't to pleased to have their cars all keyed up or running the risks of contracting something from her if they are caught downwind.

I have tried to look for this but I haven't found an answer.  Do prostitutes have a nationwide union?  If they do, they have to elect Paris as their president.  Why is Paris Hilton labeled a shameless, STD infected, whore?  Well, it's because she is a shameless, STD infected, whore.  When my dog was in heat and a boy dog tried to rob her of her innocence, I hosed him down.  Well someone over at the Cannes Film Fest needs to hose those two down.  Way to stay classy Cannes!  Way to stay classy Paris!

You remember I made the recent resolution that I would refer to Nadya Suleman as Octo-Mom anymore.  I decided I would call her Octo-Crazy.  Now that name has been taken from me.  During the recent earthquake in California, another baby was shaken loose out of her womb so I guess that now makes her Nano-Mom.

Hey, sucka!  Mr. T turned 57 this week.  I pity the fool that decides to put 57 candles on his birthday cake.  T wanted a quiet meal with no jive cheeseburgers.  He only wanted milk and he loves his milk which I learned in an episode of The A-Team.  Mr. T is not bound by human law and can drink more than one gallon in under an hour.  I would love to see some more Mr. T facts because I think he is better than Chuck Norris.

Morrissey turned 50 this week?  Who is Morrissey?  Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself? 

Alex Rodriguez(A-Rod or to Boston Red Sox fans...well anyone who isn't a fan of the Yank-mes Gay-Rod) was spotted with a possible new girlfriend.  That possible new girlfriend is none other than Kate Hudson.  She was seen at a Yankees game and you know that it had to be her because only the obesely rich can afford to go to Yankees games.  After the game the couple was spotted at a bar.  They were very noticeable because they were making out.  That is quite the step-down for A-Rod.  He usually makes out with women who can lift up Chevy Suburbans with their nipples....yeah Madonna is a freak.

Ashley Olsen has announced her retirement from acting at the ripe old age of 22.  If wonder if she will be able to collect social security.  Ashley is going to run the twins three fashion labels while Mary Kate focuses solely on acting.  As we can see from this photo Ashley has quite the eye for fashion.

This is Blonde Cora.  She is a German porn star.  She was trying to set a world record by performing fellatio on 200 hundred men.  Well as she was on Mr. 75, she started choking and couldn't breathe.  Cora had to be rushed to the hospital.  She is recovering and hasn't announced yet if she would attempt to break the record again.  I bet her parents are so disappointed....that she didn't break that record.

After a hard workout at a gym, Brooke Hogan and a friend were spotted eating at a McDonald's.  There is nothing in this world that is quite as enjoyable as a Big Mac after a cardio session.  I live in the wrong area because I have never seen half naked women at a McDonald's.  In that picture Brooke is looking rather attractive and it may lead me to say that I'd like to cover her two all beef patties with my special sauce.  Wait...Brooke has had implants so they aren't all beef but mostly silicone, just like McDonald's burgers, mostly other substances instead of beef.

As time passes, the Carrie Prejean story keeps getting better.  Her mom admitted that she had a lesbian affair.  Wow...Carrie's mom has a lesbian affair and her father is accused of being gay.  This is why gays should be allowed to get married instead of marrying someone of the opposite sex and being in a loveless relationship and producing a person like Carrie Prejean.

Last week I mentioned that Cher was 62 years old.  Well this week Cher turned 63.  I made fun of her for not retiring her outfit from 1992.  Well I think she should try to retired that hair style.  Oh and she is also rumored to be a part of Christina Aguilera's new movie Burlesque.  Maybe that outfit won't be retired so soon.

Guess the ass!  So while I am typing this, I am probably being hunted down by Mickey Mouse but gee shucks...who do you think will win the NBA or NHL championship?

Yeah it was Miley Cyrus.  She has been complaining how people have been calling her fat.  Not once have I called her fat, I may have called her a trailer trash, incestuous, attention whore but never fat.  She said that those people who call her fat are just being tempted by the Devil to call her that and they should read their Bibles.  Do you realize what this means now that Miley is trying to get people to read their Bibles?  HANNAH MONTANA BIBLES!!!!!! 

There are rumors floating around that have said that Michael Jackson is secretly battling skin cancer.  He has been seeing a specialist that deals with skin cancer at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles.  They are saying that the cancer has been brought on by his repeated bleaching sessions on his skin.  One of Michael's staff said that Micahel started seeing these splotches pop up all over his body and he had them tested and they proved cancerous.  I wish him the best of luck and I may suggest he start wearing that mask again.

More sources are saying that Mel Gibson's girlfriend is pregnant and is possibly in her second trimester.  So I don't know what trimester means or entails.  Is that when the stork pays a visit to the expecting mother to interview her to determine if she is ready to be the mother of a boy or girl?  I know some people who are praying that Mel becomes the father of a baby Jew.  Oh and have you ever wondered what it is like to be a famous movie star?  Well take out your wallet, dump all the contents on the ground, and then light it on fire.  You will then know what it is like to be Mel Gibson.

Martin Scorcese is preparing to make a biopic about Frank Sinatra and the stars are already lining up to play Frank.  These are 8 of the 9 that could possibly be in line for the role.  Starting in the upper left and going clockwise: Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Justin Timberlake, Harry Connick Jr., Jake Gyllenhal, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, and Jon Hamm.  Not pictured is Michael Buble.  You know, none of them are worthy to play Sinatra and I swear, I will go balistic if Depp or Timberlake are chosen to play the legendary Frank Sinatra.  I have a feeling Scorcese will select Leonardo DiCaprio because it seems like non-documentary Scorcese has made in the past few years has Leo in it (Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed, and Shutter Island).  Who am I kidding?  I want this role so bad.  How awesome would it be to play the King of Cool?  I sent in my youtube audition tape.  Don't act like you aren't thinking of auditioning?

In a new music video, Fergie does some lesbian acts and when asked about it, she admitted that at one point she was having sex with women but that she wasn't really a lesbian because she didn't date women.  You know I've been a lesbian before but unlike Fergie, I didn't play lesbian just for meth.

There was this hilarious story about Gene Simmons that I just had to share.  He was a notorious ladies' man but now he has lost his edge.  At a recent party he was trying to pick up a lady.  His technique?  Grunting at her and making motions with his hands.  The girl told Gene to get lost.  You know he wa making grunting sounds just because he was trying to control his prostate.  And what guy out there hasn't made the classic sex sign by making a circle with the pointer finger and the thumb and then taking a finger from the opposite hand and simulate sexual action?  You know Gene doesn't need antics to disgust ladies these days, he needs just a well lit room.

Guess the ass!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Kachino, I am on to your little trick.  Now try to guess!!!!  Oh and the hint.  Jamie Foxx said he wouldn't mind getting with this brainwashed woman because he loves larger ladies.  She fears Xenu as much as she fears a steady acting career.

Kirstie Alley....you know, maybe Jamie Foxx is onto something there.  MMMM ice cream cones....

Hugh Jackman has won my Upstanding Citizen of the Year award because he cleaned up his dog's crap.  Yes, the dog knows how foul that is but just look at him with his smug face.  You know Hugh has plenty of stuff that has been cleaned up for him.  An interesting story surfaced about Hugh.  A male porn star was going around telling people that Hugh is gay and likes to visit a certain dominatrix.  When asked how he knew this the porn star said that he was brought in for one of their sessions.  The dominatrix had the male porn star um...enter Hugh and as he first penetrated Hugh began singing the hymn Onward Christian Soldiers.  Later the porn star retracted his story but was sporting a new car.  Hmmm...I don't believe that for one second. 

Jessica Biel revealed why she can't get work in movies and also why her movies have recently went straight to DVD.  She says it's because she is too beautiful.  Her beauty distracts the directors and other actors.  God, I need whatever she is taking to combat reality.  I think the real reason she isn't getting roles is because she can't act.  Hell, just watch any episode of 7th Heaven that she is in and you will understand that as well.  I have passed gas that has more acting talent than she has.

Left) The original poster for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.  Right) What the poster for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen should look like.  You know if they used to one on the right, it would distract from how bad the movie actually is.

Here's a little something for the ladies.  Mark Sanchez was drafted by the New York Jets this spring. That is model Hilary Rhoda appearing with him in a photo shoot for GQ magazine.  It is rumored that they are possibly dating.  Why didn't I get into the NFL?  Oh yeah.  Screw you knees!  Screw you ankles!

OH HOW THE DIVA TABLES HAVE BEEN TURNED!  Usually Mariah Carey makes people wait for her but at the Cannes Film Festival she was made to wait for the director for her movie Precious.  Mariah was fuming and visibly upset that SHE had to wait.  Maybe now she knows what she has been doing.  Ah probably not...you can't hear me, but whenever I look at this photo I start giggling.

Lisa Rinna said that she has never had colagen injections in her lips.  WHAT?  Oh wait.  She said that she had silicone implants put in her lip.  She says her lips maker her a person and define who she is.  Is that fake or a certain body part.

Julian and Sean Lennon were spotted hanging out together this week.  Thankfully Yoko was nowhere to be found.  I am hoping that sometime in the near future they will sing a duet and hopefully it will be a song written by their dear old dad.  Wow, they really do look like John.

Lady Gaga got in some trouble earlier this week. She was in Moscow near Red Square and was taking photos with fans.  She drew the attention of some police officers and they apporached her and questioned her.  They thought she was a prostitute.  Gee...I wonder why.

Apparently this is appropriate attire to wear to a radio station to conduct an interview for a morning show.  Have you ever noticed that Lady Gaga never wears pants?  And is that her...you may have to enlarge the photo...vagina?  It's been so long.

Here's another where are they now.  This is Joseph Gordon Levitt.  He was the kid in the tv show Third Rock from the Sun.  Actually this is just for a movie but I thought he may have dropped out like that sort of like another Third Rock star, French Stewart.  His upcoming movie 500 Days of Summer looks quite promising but mostly because Zooey Deschanel is in it.  I hate to give this away but he plays Cobra Commander in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie.  WTF!

In one fiscal year, Britney Spears spent $10 million of the $12 million she earned.  Here's some of her expenses:  $625,000 for legal fees for custody battle, $450,000 for security, $140,000 in credit card payments, $105,000 for rent, $180,000 for child care, $190,000 for assistants and employees, $290,000 mortgage payments, $140,000 living expenses, and $1million in misellaneous business expenses.  WOW!  So I wonder what she is spending $1million on that is misellaneous.  Cheetos, mud flaps, and cigarettes more than likely.  It's a good thing that she is selling out her concerts on this tour.   She may have to work until she is at least 35.

Video section:
So they are making a documentary about Paris Hilton.  It's tentatively called "Paris Not France".  The only thing dumber than the title is Paris herself. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

This is from a Detroit news station. 

I wonder if anyone got fired for that.  I can't wait for Mrs. Eaton Beaver and her husband Dick N. Beaver announce the birthday of their daughter Anita Beaver.

OK so I am beat.  Last night I was planning on going to an Amish greenhouse with my mom to look at plants.  Well we got there and a sign said closed.  Then my mom goes, "OH DUH!  Thursdays are the days when the Amish get married."  So then we went to this other greenhouse down the road.  They had all sorts of flowers and trees.  I tried to convince my mom to buy some grape vines but she said I was "stupid".  I am an only child for a reason.  I went nuts picking out tomatoes and peppers.  I got all these black Russian tomatoes and then some Cherokee Purples.  I have no clue what that means for tomatoes but the descriptions in the greenhouse sounded pretty tasty.  I also picked up some Anaheim peppers, Chinese peppers, Jalapenos, habanaeros, and green peppers.  I also am going to try to grow onions this year so with my black Russian tomatoes and habanaeros, I can make some kick ass salsa.  Oh and pickles, I'm going to grow lots of pickles.  My mom had to stock up on ground cherries.  I was also tempted to try to grow watermelons but I don't know if my little garden is big enough to handle watermelons.  

I got home and was tired but couldn't sleep so I did some writing and reading but that didn't do much.  I think I finally got to bed around 2AM and I got about 3 hours of sleep because today was the last day of school for the seniors in this town.  They have this strange tradition that on the last day of school for seniors(graduation in this town is always the Friday of Memorial Day weekend) where they go around town honking their car horns at 5AM.  My town is only about 1300 people so you can hear this pack of high school kids celebrating their new-found independence.  The honking startled my cats and they started attacking each other.  I was up.  I had to stay up because I took my dad to the doctor's in La Crosse.  That was a fun trip through Amish country.  I swear one of these days I am going to try to get pictures of these communities but they don't like being photographed and I am worried about a pitchfork in my no-no places.  My mom had to take today off so she went with us.  The hospital where she works is cutting hours so I don't know how this works but my mom had a surprise vacation day today. 

Apparently my dad's kidneys are holding steady at their current functioning rate.  So after, they wanted to go shopping but the specific stores they wanted to go to were on the other side of the town/city.  My mom had to hit up a Dollar Tree.  I admit it, I go there for my shampoo and other stuff.  $1 a bottle of shampoo, yes, I am frugal but not with my Citronen vodka, cherry schnapps, and lemonade drinks.  You know what I am talking about Croat!  I have yet to be able to top that bar tab. 

Then my mom wanted to go to Walmart.  I bought myself a paper shredder because I have a stack of documents that is highly confidential or just old...whichever.  I was walking down an aisle and saw a random bottle of Throwback Pepsi next to a video game chair.  I thought that was some sort of social commentary.  Then my jaw dropped....MOUNTAIN DEW THROWBACK!  I can't find that stuff anywhere and apparently the Pepsi bottling company in that town won't distribute the Throwbacks at Walmart.  I was upset but I had my paper shredder which will give me hours of mindless entertainment and the possiblity of having confetti at my next birthday. 

My mom then suggested lunch but I was getting pissy because the place she suggested was back by the hospital.  UGH!  Oh well, it was quite excellent.  We went to a place called Pizza Doctors.  It is a medical themed restaurant.  The staff were all dressed in scrubs, the bathrooms were called Emergency Rooms, the forks were called forceps, the knives were called scalpels, and the soda(god that makes me feel dirty) fountain was wired so that it looked like it flowed through IV bags.  If you care, here is a website review of Pizza Doctors.  Also if you want to check out more of the medical themed madness check out there menu.  I went to high school in that town so every once in a while we went over there for the Exploratory Surgery buffet.  They just made random pizzas.  I remember one that didn't fly; it was a chili cheese hot dog pizza.  But the menu...yeah that is some crazy stuff.  The reason it has the medical theme is because there are three colleges with nursing programs, one of which my mom attended.

Then on the way home I took my parents through the grand cities of Coon Valley and Westby.  Then back home through the Amish communities.
You my remember a blog I did about Coon Valley...wait no, that was in one of my early posts.  I found this photo and had to talk about it.

No not me.

I finally get home and have peace and quiet.  I lay down and start to fall asleep.  BOOM!  Both my cats decided it would be best to sleep on top of me.  Then as the three of us started to fall asleep BANG BANG BANG!  MY STALKER!  He came over and started babbling that my dad said that he should see me and I would pay him for something with a drink.  I made him a drink and we talked and he left....I think he wanted me to cook for him because he kept dropping hints but I was filled from lunch.  I am back trying to sleep but my mom calls and says I need to get ready because she wants to go to that Amish greenhouse. 

She picks me up and we head out there.  This place was disgusting.  I think they were using horse manure in the greenhouse itself either that or it was funky from all their BO from earlier this week when it was in the 90s.  Remember the Amish do not believe in glorifying the body so they do not wear deodorant.  I told my mom I couldn't stand much more and she agreed.  She thought the prices were high.  $7 for a single rosemary plant.  The only redeeming thing was that there was a smelly little Amish boy singing and of course being a snob or nerd or what have you, I sung along:

So I have a lot of links to get out because last week I didn't post them and I am trying to save you time and energy by making the posts shorter.

Games:  Pizza City: the Adult Swim commercials say this is like Grand Theft Auto but with pizza, Spewer: swine flu didn't give us much in the way of mass deaths but it has given us some fun games, Amateur Surgeon: you know how awesome it is when a web-based game gets advertised on tv, well of course it is the network advertising during its own programming, Sperm Rider: have you ever wanted to play a game where your character dresses as a cowboy rides a sperm a'la Dr. Strangelove?

Here's a fun site called Sketch Swap.  You draw a sketch and give it to someone at random.  I trust you will be mature with this one.

I love those customizable signs that you can make.  Here is a site where you can customize a hotel sign.  Sort of reminds me of a creepy motel near me with its strange postings.

I was intrigued by this story of how this guy gave his cat an enema.  No, I will never do that.

Thanks to kachino for sending me this link about how Facebook has been used to solve crimes.  I think you have to take away this from reading that site, if you do nefarious activity, don't go online and brag about it.

Today I went to a greenhouse with my mom to get some pepper plants.  They had what I was looking for.  My life is average.

Are you bored at work?  Do you want to use a stapler but not a real stapler?  Well here is a virtual stapler to fulfill all your stapling needs.

I saw this a long time ago and was reminded to post it the other day when I saw it on another Xangans page.  It's called In Bb(flat).  All the music is in Bflat so you can play all the videos simultaneous.

This website is a long read.  It's called The Future Shock.  Bookmark it and go back later because it is long.  It details one of the greatest pranks I have ever heard about.  I don't think it should be called a prank because of how massive that undertaking was.

I ahve a thing about tattoos.  If you get one, it shouldn't be a trend tattoo like the barbwire or tribal arm bands or Japanese characters for non-Japanese people.  Here are some impressive 3D tattoos.  If I wasn't allergic to the ink, I would consider something like a couple of those.

Want to see the seedier and darker side of Christianity?  Then check out Adult Christianity.  Funny stuff.   Read the article about the Florida license plates, more importantly look at the photo along with the article.  It's fun going past my church's parking lot and seeing 4 sets of those on vehicles.

Christians, what do you do when you happen across a real live atheist?  Don't know?  Let this guide help you.

Those French are so ahead of the world when it comes to matters of sex.  POPE CONDOMS!  Someone is going to hell or at least to purgatory for an extra long period of time where they might work off their sentence as to after thousands of years may enter Heaven.

Some people love the euphemisms that I or my cock, Cocky McCockburns, uses in our posts.  Well if you don't know many euphemisms like me and my cock, here is a random generator that you can use.

Apparently AXE bodyspray has some interesting marketing techniques in foreign markets.  I wonder how that would have gone over in the good ole USA.

Well that is it for this edition.  Enjoy!

When I was a child I used to love watching the political debate shows with the panels and they argued certain points.  I try watching these same shows today and it seems like they are arguing against the middle or they argue against each other even though the panelists are taking the same stance.  I miss having Bill Maher on non-premium cable.  Say what you will about his politics, he does have great discussions.

I am going to try to have a round table discussion in this blog.  I will be the moderator and as a reminder the views expressed here may not belong to the actual celebrity nor to they reflect how I feel.

Our topic today is gay marriage and the panelists:
AOL Sports columnist Jay Mariotti

Me: Welcome to the show Jay.
Jay: Thank you.  Normally I wouldn't do an appearance for someone from Wisconsin because Chicago is so much better than anything in Wisconsin despite the fact that people from Chicago head there every chance they get.  Chicago is simply the greatest city in the world.  We have the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Bulls, the Chicago Blackhawks, and the Chicago Bears.  Chicago is great because it is Chicago...CHICAGO...CHICAGO

Our next panelist is defrocked minister Ted Haggard

Me: Um...Ted?  Could you please wait?
Ted: Hey, he told me that he was bit by a rattlesnake and I need to suck the poison out because we must preserve life at all costs.  I'M NOT GAY!

Next, legendary professional wrestler, Hulk Hogan

Me: Hulkster, welcome to the discussion.
Hulk: Well let me tell you something Godfather, it's a pleasure to be hear with my 24 inch pythons and we are going to run wild all over gay marriage.

Finally, and this man needs no introduction, Keith Richards

Me: Mr. Richards, welcome.
Keith: ..................
Me: Mr. Richards?
Keith: WRGUIWABLCPIEAFR!  Blimey...where's me git?

Me:  Once again we welcome everyone.  I just want to ask everyone here what is their opinion on homosexuality.
JM:  Well in Chicago the homosexual is accepted because Chicago is the greatest city on the planet and Chicagoans are so accepting of everyone as long as their name isn't Steve Bartman or Jay Mariotti.
TH:  For the last time, I'm not gay.  I have drawn schematics that show I am not gay.  I'm not gay.
HH:  Well you know something Malicious Matt, sometimes when the Hulkster got lonely on the road and didn't have a chance to have a groupie.  Well the Hulkster had to use the jobbers.  Let me tell you a wrestling secret.  They weren't called jobbers just because they lost matches.  They did jobs of a personal nature.  And for another thing, brother, how do you think the Macho Man Randy Savage got his nickname and catch phrase?  He listened to a lot of Village People and screamed "OH YEAH!" quite a bit with the jobbers.
KR: You gona silly blong in a golinbean mang!
Me:  Mariotti, I'm surprised you didn't bring up the fact that you were at the heart of one of the most recent homosexuality discrimination scandals in major league baseball.
TH: I'm not gay, I told you...schematics...see if my penis...
Me: I was talking to Jay.
TH: Pardon me, Jesus loves you.
JM:  Well when I was in Chicago covering the sports of all Chicago sports teams because the sports teams of Chicago are the greatest in the universe because of one word: Chicago.  I was asking Ozzie Guillen of the Chicago White Sox about some pressing matters about how he managed the greatest team on Chicago's south side.  He called me a fag.  This is not how people from Chicago act in Chicago.
Me: The fallout was huge.  Guillen had to serve a suspension and you were basically outed.
TH:  I'm not gay, just because a man performs oral sex on me does not make me gay.  See it isn't me doing the act so therefore I'm not gay.
JM:  People in Chicago do not interrupt others because people in Chicago have manners.
TH:  Jesus loves me and I have done so much work so that means I am a true Christian and I will pray for you.
HH:  That's right little Hulkamaniacs you have to train, take your vitamins and by vitamins I do not mean anabolic steroids, and say your prayers. 
KR:   .....................
Me:  OK, let's have a little decorum.  You have to admit there is a lot of homoerotic moments in sports.  I mean Matt Stairs recently said, "Not that I don’t feel like I’m part of the team, but when you get that nice celebration coming in the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, there’s no better feeling than to have that done."
JM:  No doubt about it, even in the great city of Chicago.  Of course when Esera Tuaolo came out of the closet we all made fun of him for being a part of the Green Bay Packers and we thought the team's name was ironic but Chicago is above such humor.  Anyway I dug up this photo of Ozzie Guillen "celebrating" his World Series victory for the city of Chicago:

JM:  Clearly there are more gay athletes than Esera Tuaolo, John Amechi, Billy Bean, Martina Navratilova, and Sheryl Swoopes.  We, as Americans, need to take Chicago's lead and be more accepting of homosexual and lesbian athletes.
TH:  You forgot to mention Mike Piazza.
Me:  That's just speculation.
TH:  You can call it speculation all you want but one time we were making...a prayer session and he is a fine young man.
HH:  Well let me tell you something Mariotti, you forgot to mention pro-wrestlers Orlando Jordan and Pat Patterson.  I've locked up with those two plenty of times.  There was an old saying that if you wanted to get ahead in the WWF you had to give head to Patterson.  Well the Hulkster never went down because of the 24 inch pythons and the flowing locks of lustrous blond hair.
Me:  Could some one wake up Keith?
KR:  Where's me git?
Me: Hulkster, I have seen your antics in the ring and sometimes they were a little over the top.

HH:  What are you trying to say Malicious Matt?
Me:  Nothing, so where do we stand on the topic of gay marriage?
JM:  As a resident of Chicago I am accepting of whatever anyone wants to do.
HH: The little hulkamamiacs should be accepting and understand that all people need their civil right otherwise, me and my 24 inch pythons are going to run wild all over you!  (Hulk rips shirt)
KR:  If a bloke wants in another blokes bum then OK by me as long as they buy my records.  I mean I didn't say anything about Mick when he was with Bowie
TH:  Well clearly as I am not gay and I am a minister of the Lord I have to say that homosexuality and gay marriage is an abomination!
HH: Brother!  You are going to feel the wrath of the bodyslam and big boot combo!
TH:  Why Mr. Hogan those arms...they're fantastic
HH:  Do you like when I pose?
TH:  Yes, and you can pose for me all you want.
Hulk Hogan and Ted Haggard start "wrestling" complete with the dreaded liplock of death and the "BIG FIST"
JM: Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago!
Keith Richards breaks out his guitar and starts playing the chords E, A, E, A, E, A, H7, E, A
Me:  Well we didn't accomplish anything here today so I think this will be the last Round Table Discussion