Freaks and Geeks is one of my all-time favorite TV series.  Although there were only 18 episodes, it was such a powerful show that was a launching pad for some of today's major players in Hollywood.

Freaks and Geeks gave us Linda Cardellini (ER, Scooby Doo movies, Brokeback Mountain, Grandma's Boy), John Frances Daly (Waiting... and recently has been in the TV series Bones), Samm Levine(numerous TV credits and will be in the upcoming Inglorious Basterds), James Franco (Spiderman franchise, Annapolis, Flyboys, Milk), Busy Phillips (ER, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Mean Girls, White Chicks), Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother, SLC Punk, Slackers, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I Love You Man), Seth Rogen (40 Yr. Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express, Zach and Miri Make a Porno, Observe and Report, Funny People) and Tom Wilson (OK so he hasn't made much but he was Biff in the Back to the Future series).

Freaks and Geeks was created by Paul Feig, one of my favorite authors, and was produced by Judd Apatow.  This was their creative launching pad.  Many of the stories in Freaks and Geeks came from some of Feig's life.

The pilot episode was written by Paul Feig and directed by Jake Kasdan.  Here is a brief description of the episode: Lindsay Weir, seemingly losing interest in her more academically minded-friends, begins hanging out with a crowd of burnouts, courtesy of an invitation from Daniel Desario. Her affiliation with this gang of freaks worries her family and her once best-friend Millie. Meanwhile, Sam Weir struggles to find the courage not only to confront his bully Alan, but to ask cheerleader Cindy Sanders to the homecoming dance.

What makes Freaks and Geeks so enjoyable for me is that the show could be set in any time period.  So many of the characters and happenings seem straight out of my school daze.  Then we had a kid much like Eli.  Our special kid at my school was convinced he was a superhero who went by the name Checkerman.  He even made a t-shirt with checkers on it and would run around the halls with a cape with checkers taped to it.  I also enjoy all the references to other shows and movies.  Neil does a Captain Kirk imitation and they mention going to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail as well as Star Wars.  Also, who here did not fear playing dodgeball with a sadistic P.E. teacher in high school?  I had a Vietnam vet that was my P.E. teacher and he had flashbacks to combat.  P.E. was an interesting class.

I also love quoting this show.  Whenever I get the religious folks knocking on my door and asking if I have found Jesus, I answer, "Yes, I've found God and his name is John Bohnam and he played drums for Led Zeppelin."  My other favorite quote in this episode is when Nick is talking to Lindsay, "Look, these teachers...these teachers want us to work, you know? And I say fine...I'll work. But you gotta let me do the kind of work that I wanna do. And for me, Lindsay, it's my- it's my drum kit, man. This my passion, you know? This is- this is the essence of who I am now. But before I had this, I was lost too. You see what I'm saying? You need to find...your reason for- for living, man. You've got to find, your big, just gigantic drum kit, you know"  One quote that isn't included in the episode but it is in a deleted scene is of the guidance counselor, whose role gets more laughable as the series progresses, says at the dance, "Sometimes I have the greatest job in the world."

Anyway, I hope you have some free time and can give this show a view.  I will try to upload each episode every Monday evening.

And who can't resist that theme song...

I was at the doctor's yesterday because the sunburn I got last weekend has turned into a horrible rash.  I had to get some prescription lotion.  It is doing the trick.  Anyway the best part of the visit was that my blood pressure, which I have had issues with all my life, dropped 60 points.  The doctor was pleased.   On to the round up.

Stephen Moyer(left) is one of the stars of True Blood. Recently he was asked what he thought of Edward Cullen(right) from the Twilight series.  Moyer said, "He's a pussy!  He's the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires."  My god...this is going to get awesome.  I have heard stories of Twilight fans physically attacking people who voiced their opinion that twilight was no good.  Then there are very devout True Blood fans.  I think I will be safe on my little hill enjoying the fallout.

This is a photo from last year at the premiere of Dear Lord, Why?  Shia LaBeouf recently leaked a secret that there would be a fifth installment in the Indiana Jones series and he would be returning.  Shia said that he saw the early version of the script.  Harrison Ford is 66.  The only adventure that could be suitable for him is waiting for the Viagra to kick in.  So I guess they are going ahead with another unnecessary Indiana Jones movie and this brings up an important question, how much money does Steven Spielberg need?

Shortly after Paris Hilton kissed this dolphin, it had to be put to sleep because of a deluge of STDs.

This week Paris Hilton offended millions of Muslims by posing in her bikini while on vacation in Dubai.  She was warned by many people that if she went in public in a bikini she faced possible jail time.  I wish the "true" Muslims would have tied her to a pole in the town square and hurled rocks at her for being a whore. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce Orit Fox.  She is a model and actress in Israel.  Orit is also the owner of the largest breasts in Israel.  People, this is why America must intervene on behalf of Israel.  We must protect Israel and her most beautiful creature.

Olivia Munn was spotted at a premiere of Transformers 2.  I hope she lived through the ordeal.  She was blowing out kisses on the red carpet.  BACK OFF!  THOSE BELONG TO ME!

I am beginning to think that all these photos of Miley Cyrus that have been surfacing with this new movie are really inappropriate.  The movie's director, Adam Shankman, took these photos and placed them on twitter.  I am sure he will soon be getting a visit from Mickey.  So do all 16 year old girls pose like this nowadays because if not I am sure they will soon be following their idol.  I like how MIley is trying to be all sexy but to me she looks about as sexy as the banjo playing kid in Deliverance.

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker became parents this week.  Not biological parents but adoptive parents.  They had a surrogate mother give birth to twin girls.  They went with a surrogate so maybe there is some truth to the rumors about Matthew.  They named the girls Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick.  I am surprised Matthew didn't lobby for Judy and Liza.

Lady Gaga performed at the MuchMusic video awards last weekend.  The fight between Perez Hilton and a member of Will.i.am's entourage wasn't the only fireworks at that show.  I think this bra should be marketed for retail and sold for July Fourth celebrations.

Kendra Wilkinson had her shotgun wedding at the Playboy mansion this week.  This was her dress.  I guess she couldn't wear white but she did keep it classy.  She makes a whorific bride.  When asked what she planned on doing for her honeymoon, Kendra said that they planned on going to a deserted island so they could spend their entire honeymoon naked.  So where is the excitement in that?  She spends her days naked already.

Katy Perry posted this photo of her bathing and eating pizza.  She posted the photos on Twitter.  I think if I was guaranteed to see more photos like this, I would join Twitter in a heartbeat.

Johnny Depp was at the premiere for his new movie Public Enemy.  It looks like he is trying to recapture his youth and revisit his 21 Jump Street days.  I am anxious for Public Enemy, some of it was filmed near my hometown.

George Clooney recently planned a trip for he and his friends to Mexico but numerous friends dropped out of the trip because of the fears of Swine Flu.  He told his friends that they would be safe from the Swine Flu is they drank massive amounts of tequila.  Clooney also told his friends that he was immune because he owned a potbelly pig for 18 years.  George needs to be made the surgeon general of our country.

Farah Fawcett passed away yesterday at the age of 62 after a long battle with cancer.  I know this is cliche but heaven just got another angel.

Here is more proof that Hollywood has run out of ideas.  It was announced this week that there is a film in the works that will tell the story about the creation of Facebook.  David Fincher is attached and will possibly be the director.  Fincher has directed such hits as Seven, Fight Club, Zodiac, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  So what will this movie be about?  Sending people invitations to find out which unicorn they are?  Sending out the green patches?  Will there be poking?  Maybe it will change formats once you get comfortable with watching the film.  I can fart things that are more creative than this.

Ladies, here's your chance!  VH-1 has announced that they are casting for a new reality dating series starring Frank the Entertainer star of such VH-1 shows as I Love New York 2, I Love Money, and I Love Money 2.  The show is tentatively called  The Entertainer of Love.  If you want to fall in love with this guy and move into his parents' basement then click here to check out the casting call.

Eddie Murphy certainly is well built.  I guess a steady stream of transsexual hookers and making horrible movies does a body good.

Ed McMahon passed away this week at the age of 86.  He will be greatly missed.  I still see that smile and picture him handing me a giant check for millions of dollars.  He is now reunited with Johnny Carson for the ultimate late night gig in the sky.  Hi-yoooooo!

The angel of death was loose this week and using taxicabs.  Actually Courtney Love escaped from her tomb is is preparing to feast on your soul.  Remember all those years ago circa 1996 when she was rather attractive?

Christian Bale has bailed(I am so clever) on the next Batman movie because Christopher Nolan will not be directing.  AND SO IT BEGINS!  The third movie in a series always sucks.  If they go ahead and make this next Batman movie it will just follow in loo of the first Batman movies.  The third began the serious suckage of the series.  I hope this rumor is true and kills the Batman series because of all the other rumors I had heard.  They want Catwoman and they are going to have Johnny Depp play the Riddler even though in the Dark Knight Anthony Michael Hall was clearly set up to be a major villain quite possibly the Riddler or maybe a new take on Harlee Quin. 

My confidence in the legal system is shot.  Chris Brown faced multiple years in prison was patted on the head and given 180 days of community service and 5 years probation.  Prisoners within the California penal system were upset because they were looking forward to getting a new girlfriend on their cell-block.  So this Chris Brown sentence is telling me one of two things:  If you are famous, that fame can get you out of all problems or violence against women is OK.

Brad Pitt's was set to star in a movie called Moneyball.  However, his movie studio axed the production because they didn't think it would make any money and also there were serious problems with the script.  It must have been horrible because Brad Pitt was to star and Steven Soderbergh was set to direct.  It was supposed to be about Oakland Atheltics' general manager Billy Beane and how he fielded a winning team despite having limited money.  Damn, with this movie ending production, it looks like Brad will have to spend his summer with the "wife" and kids.

These are some early promotional photos from Tim Burton's adaptation of Alice in Wonderland.  You have in the upper left, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, upper left is Helena Bohnam as the Queen of Hearts and on the bottom is Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.  OK so this fits Tim Burton movies and looks very creepy.

You know these premiere stunts for the new Bruno movie are getting pretty bizarre but they don't make me want to see the movie any less.  I spent some time looking at that outfit and thought I had seen it before but I couldn't remember where.  Then it hit me, that creepy family.  So I was going to make a joke about this movie being a triomphe but then I realized they were outside the Brandenburg Gates and not at the Arc de Triomphe.  God, I would have been a moron if I typed out that joke.

Michael Jackson died at age 50.  I  don't really have much to say about him.  It is for personal reasons that I am not ready to divulge. 

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I'll let Katt Williams discuss Michael Jackson.

Danny Devito was on Letterman and he explained his drunken behavior.  I love It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Bruno was on Conan this week and it was an interesting interview.

SO I hope you enjoy these.  I have been mentally sapped after finishing my project and the heat has drained me and then my air conditioner took a dump this evening.  I do have a celebrity round up planned for tomorrow.  I also had to go to the doctor today because I had a rash from the heat and it has been driving me nuts. 

#1.  A few weeks ago I posted a link to an item on Amazon that sort of hit the internet like a wildfire.  It was of a wolf t-shirt and the reviews were hilarious.  Now someone has uploaded images of people wearing this specific t-shirt.  President Obama looks like a stud.

#2.  Here's another hilarious Amazon review for a Big Penis Book.  Sometimes I think those people are real.  It also has some interesting back-and-forth in the comment section.

#3.  OK this is the last Amazon post for this edition.  I think this guy killed two birds with one stone in this video game review.  His horrible review of FIFA 09 almost makes me want to buy it jsut to see how bad it could possibly be.

#4.  I had someone send me this link after I mentioned in my last celebrity round up that reverse cowgirl earned bonus points in my girlfriend application.  Anyway here is a round up of some cowgirls.  It may be NSFW.

#5.  This website knows too much about skynet.  I am afraid...and a nerd.

#6.  This is what happens when your parents join facebook.  B-Money, pay close attention to that site.

#7.  AskMen.com did a list of the ten most annoying cartoon characters of all time.  I hate that Rock the Squirrel made the list.  I enjoyed that show and never found him annoying.

#8.  Here's a fun game from Adult Swim called Twirl and Hurl.  Not quite what you'd expect but still enjoyable.

#9.  This is a blog of a writer for The Onion and here are some of his rejected headlines.  I think this is my favorite: "Childhood Memories Worth $10 Trade-In At GameStop"

#10.  Even though the current economic situation is crippling, it has provided some humor.

#11.  Sadly this graph is pretty true but then I am currently ignoring about a billion women and it isn't working.

#12.  MY GOD!  {dramatically takes glasses in a scientist fashion and chews on bow} Ice cream that doesn't melt?  But turns into pudding?  We mustn't let the communists get a hold of this technology....lame attempt at drama...it was either that or accusing Cold Stone Creamery of witchcraft.

#13.  The next time I go to Chicago, I'm hiring this guy to take me around the city.  I need to tease up my hair and invest in some zebra print spandex pants just so I can be in his mere presence.

#14.  I find this site to be a bit demented.  It's an art gallery showing how cartoon characters finally get their revenge.  Poor Jerry....poor, poor Jerry.

#15.  I'm about to let you in on two secrets.  First, Michael Bay, producer of the recent Transformers movie as well as Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock, Bad Boys, Bad Boys II, Transformers, and the remakes of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, designed this website and gave away the secret to writing a summer blockbuster movie...EXPLOSIONS AND BOOBS!  I can honestly say I most definitely prefer one over the other.

Well that is all for this edition.  Stay tuned for more.

I have to get these links out of my computer before they all end up becoming dead sites.

#1.  I guess I will start off with one that may be NSFW.  A long time ago, before November 7th, some entrepenuer came up with the idea to manufacture a Barack Obama dildo.  It's called the Head-O-State.  Now, through the Alternative Tentacles shop, it's available in Presidential Gold.

#2.  Whenever I see the abbreviation FTW, I do not think "for the win."  I guess having biker gangs around here has taught me the true meaning and now you can learn it to at uncyclopedia.

#3.  Pick one.

#4.  I love gummi candies and when I saw this massive gummi bear I thought, "MUST HAVE!"

#5.  Why did I never have science projects as cool as this?

#6.  Why I don't trust wikipedia:  According to wikipedia, the planet Pluto is a disco ball.

#7.  At first I thought this website was talking about how someone didn't like the idea that Fiat may buy Chrysler but then I found out it was an auto dealer.  I wonder if my favorite European basketball player, Gregor Fucka, has anything to do with that dealership.

#8.  I think I origianlly saw this during the lead-up to Terminator Salvation.  Anyway here is Adult Swim's list of favorite killer robots.

#9.  It's summer and that means weddings.  Maybe some of you are planning a wedding.  Well here is a list of the absolute worst and most inappropriate songs you could have played at your wedding.  When I dj-ed a wedding, I can honestly say that I avoided all those songs.

#10.  I have enjoyed reading Batman for some time.  Well here are some Batman and Joker storylines that you may have missed.  You know, a few of those would be fun to see on the bigscreen.

#11.  This story has been out for some time but a woman has sued the makers of Cap'n Crunch because she would daily eat a box of Crunchberries and much to her shock Crunchberries are not real berries nor are they fruit.  I hope she loses the case and the judge orders her sterilized.  We don't need her breeding.

#12.  I have no clue why I saved this site but here is a list of the 7 best foods to eat when you're stoned.  I hope that comes in handy for you, my readers.  I'm partial to Funyuns.  Not that I speak from experience I have heard through sources that they are great and also the movie Half Baked declares Funyuns to be awesome.

#13.  I am a map nerd.  I love them and can't get enough of them. Maybe in a former life I was Amerigo Vespucci.  Yeah, look that guy!  Anyway someone made a map showing which states have given us the most winners of the Best Actor and Actress Oscar.  I learned that my state had two Oscar winners and also, I did not know, until I viewed the map, that Spencer Tracy was from Milwaukee. 

#14.  Think your summer job won't get you anywhere?  Here's a list featuring the summer jobs of 23 famous people.  You know I am not surprised that Christopher Walken was in the circus.

#15.  Ed McMahon passed away yesterday.  I had dreams of one day becoming a late night talk show host and having Ed as my sidekick.  Well I think this is a fitting tribute and I guess I could still you Ed as a sidekick.

Well that is all for this edition.  I am sure I will have some more for tomorrow.  I think I have at least two more posts worth.

It was hot today.  The thermometer topped off at 102F, that's 39C for my metric friends.  I finished my recent writing project today.  You can see the specs in my last pulse.  Tomorrow I will print it off for proofreading because I can't proofread worth a damn on a computer screen.  Anyway, this heat is sapping my energy.  Here's your weekly dose of motivation.

Of course with being in a cool place all day, I now have a rattle in my lung.  Great!  Hey, advice for future parents or current parents DO NOT SMOKE AROUND YOUR CHILDREN!  My dad with me and my lungs are fucked.  So help me if you smoke near your children I will kick you in the junk or punt you in the c...this heat is making me aggressive. 

Time to celebrate finishing my project.

I took my dad to the casino for Father's Day.  It was a fun time except I realize I suck at photography.

These are just some views from the floor above the waterfalls and pools plus I included the eagle.  I love that eagle.

The lighting changes from time to time to give the illusion of the change of days.



This is a mural on one side of the restaurant floor of the casino.  It portrays the different seasons and the Ho-Chunk way of life.

There's a another view of the eagle and the escalator with some old people riding.

I quick caught a photo of two security guards riding the escalator.  I had to limit my photo taking because of them.

This is the sports bar within the casino.  5 beers for $10...$1 tap beer of their "special" brew which is actually Old Milwaukee.  They call it Benchwarmer Lager.

This is the canopy outside the casino where people drive up for valet parking.  On the other side of that rock is another waterfall.

These were some random Harleys just sitting outside by one of the rocks.  I was supposed to ask my dad if they were giving them away but it is awkward that they didn't have any security nearby.

This is the outside of Tommy Bartlett's Robot World.  It is a pretty cool place.  Lots of science stuff.  They also have a replica of the MIR space station.  Then I saw the canopy.  The first time I read it I dropped my jaw and had to read it again.  God, I have a dirty mind.

I was going to take some photos of Noah's Ark...you know the actual resting place of the ark, but I thought that since it is located at a water park I may get in trouble for taking photos of people in bikinis and speedos and I know that my readers don't want to see such things.  I stopped at this hotel nearby Noah's Ark.  I once read an article that it was one of the worst hotels in the state of Wisconsin and then I found this review site.  It figures, as I walked past the main office I heard multiple people screaming for a refund.

Then it was homeward bound.  I had some interesting encounters on the way.

I stopped at a grocery store to look for some Throwback Mountain Dew and I saw this puzzling sign.  It's for the Amish.  They drive with horses and buggies.  I am not fond of these people because for some reason the nails they use for their horse shoes always end up in my tires.  They use a specific nail so I know it is the Amish.  Anyway there are hitching posts all over my town.  Then at a local Walmart they have hitching posts.  It is fun to pull into the parking lot to see semis, convertibles, and the black buggies.  The hitching posts are at the end of the parking lot and the Amish don't like that so they fight over parking spots and have been known to tie their horses up to the light poles or the shopping cart bins.


Well on one of the back roads I encountered some Amish.  It was about 5PM so they were probably heading home from church which is an all day affair for them.  I know some Christians complain about having to spend 1 hour in church each week.  They don't have clergy and each married male in the community takes a turn hosting Sunday services.  The whole community will show up and it usually last 9AM until 5PM.  I was lucky to get these photos.  The Amish hate having their photos taken.   In the last photo look at the left side of the road.  Yeah, that's how we are able to tell when the Amish have been through.  It is such an eyesore and stinks something fierce in the summer time.



I was driving along and looked up a side road and saw this young deer.  I couldn't tell if it was a buck or doe.  I think it is too young too matter.  I was just thankful the deer was about 20-30 yards from my car and not 2 to 3 feet in front of it.

I realize I probably have wasted enough of your time but....who wants to hear me sing????  OK so maybe it isn't just me but the choir that I was in during college.  It was my school's male choir and I was a 1st bass.  These two songs were my favorite.

Kyrie...the different changes in this song give me chills.

Lord When Your Glory I Shall See...I think this is one of my favorite hymns and this setting gives me goosebumps and it just paints such a beautiful a picture of heaven.  Make fun of me but it does make my eyes get a little moist.

That is it for today.  I am almost finished with my recent project.  I have about 10 or so pages left and then a side project of briefly describing books of the New Testament Apocrypha.  I hope everyone had a swell weekend.

I think President Obama needs to get Maury to spearhead a committee that gets American men to take responsibility and become fathers.

Seriously, Maury....yeah I can't even begin.

I really should have done this earlier.  I went out today to buy myself a new pair of sandals because the pair I bought last summer bit the dust sometime this winter.  I didn't find slip-ons but when I find anything in my size I buy it.  It is near impossible shopping for shoes.  Not many stores readily career 17s.  I also got some some, not some, too much and now my arm is burning.  I also was in a cooking mood this evening.  I made way too much chicken cordon bleu and cheesy potatoes.  Then I finally got to watch Benjamin Button.  So-so.  My dad is doing fine.  I don't get this but apparently the lining of the bones on his breastplate was inflamed causing chest pain.  That's a relief in some ways.  OK, enough about me.  Round up!

Maybe I was quick to jump on those rumors that Will Smith was special friends with Tom Cruise because his wife Jada was talking about their sex life.  Sharing sex tips, Jada told RedBook Magazine: "Be sneaky... your girlfriend's house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom." Talking of other places they like to get down to business, the actress added: "Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex. "Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary! Pull over on the side of the road... Just switch it up. "Anything like that can keep it going. Anything it takes to keep the flame alive."  You know stories like this make me feel alone.  I need to dust off the girlfriend application.  Ladies, when you fill one out under the category "Special Skills" listing reverse cowgirl on your best friend's countertop is a plus.

Victoria Beckham has had many surgeries on her breasts.  She started off with 34A and then ballooned to a 38DD.  Recently she went in and had a reduction.  She said she wanted to reduce her breast size so that she could be a respectable mother and fashion designer.  Yeah, I'm sure the reason her sons have so many friends over to their mansion is because she is respectable.  As for her former implants, they have found a new home at a bowling alley.

Sean Penn recently dropped out of the production of two movies.  He said that he wanted to focus on his family, in other words he is in rehab.  Most likely, one of the movies that Penn will not be appearing in is the alleged Three Stooges movie co-starring Benecio del Toro and Jim Carrey....Thank god Penn will not be a part of that abomination.  Maybe they can get Jim Carrey to drop out and go work on the A-Team movie as Murdock.

Here is a new shot from the next Robin Hood movie starring Russell Crowe.  It's set for release in 2010.  I just am not buying this movie.  The character is supposed to be so much younger and not Australian.  I was thinking of predicting that it will be an epic failure but people like crap.  I mean Paul Blart: Mall Cop was a #1 movie for a while in America.

Supposedly there is a sex-tape starring Rihanna that is set to be released in the next few weeks.  I saw some still shots and a short clip and it's not her.  Chris Brown releasing a sex-tape of a star witness in his battery trial to ruin her credibility?  No, that could never happen.

Here's a new piece of meat from Burger King.  That's Piers Morgan and he's the meat for a line of advertisements for Burger King's meat scented body spray.  I don't think I can bring myself to eat at a Burger King ever again.

Olivia Munn is in this month's Playboy.  Of course I will post the photos at a later date.  Now don't worry, she doesn't appear nude.  I guess the only chance a person would have to see her nude is if they sleep with her and if you are sleeping with her then there is no need for Playboy.  Oliva, call me!

Wanna feel old?  NPH...Neil Patrick Harris...Doogie Howser turned 36 years old this week.  Remember that one episode where Doogie was snorting coke in a New Jersey nightclub and his pal Vinnie got the crap beat out of him by Phil Leotardo and Doogie had to treat Vinnie while he was all hopped up on goofballs...oh damn I'm crossing Doogie Howser with the Sopranos and Harold and Kumar.

I guess Disney is going to tell young children that oral doesn't count before marriage.  Actually these are scenes from an upcoming Miley Cyrus movie titled The Last Song.  Wasn't it just a few months ago when the world was in an uproar that she exposed her naked back on the cover of a magazine?  Now she's doing this.  I think her co-star will end up skipping the premire for fear of being arrested.  Oh and if you hadn't guessed, this is being released by Disney so take that parents!

There's an old joke that comes to mind when I first saw this photo of Michael Phelps and I guess you have to have a warped mind and a knowledge of 70s music.  Why did the cowboy have horse crap in his moustache?  "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places."  OK, yes I'll be appearing this week at the Ha-Ha Hut and The Chuckle Factory off highway 33 east of Wonewoc.  Actually you know I see that moustache and I wonder if Phelps has a sextape coming out because that is a 70s style porno-stache. 

Mel Gibson's girlfriend just released her first music single.  She didn't release it to radio stations of tv music stations.  No she released it at People.com.  If you want to hear it click here.  After I listened to it, I think it is safe to say that Mel isn't banging her for her musical talent.

Ah...this is the sleaziest person in the universe.  Her name is Megan Hauserman.  You may remember her from being naked in Playboy and nearly naked in such shows as Beauty and the Geek, Rock of Love, I Love Money, and Charm School.  Notice the last three shows were all VH-1 reality series.  Well a long time ago I reported that VH-1 was casting for her very own reality series in which one of the requirements to be a contestant was that the man had to be a millionaire.  Well I give you the announcement of Megan Wants a Millionaire.  It's set to hit VH-1 in August.  I can't wait.  They have even given us photos of the contestants.  Go here and here.  My money is on Donald....to be the first eliminated.

You know, Megan Fox may not be a prolific thinker but she does know how to get men to throw dollar bills at her.  Some women can pull that look off but when Megan tries it just screams "I give handjobs for Lifesavers."  And that saying, my dear readers is for another day, you just have to remind me to tell you.

Lindsay Lohan posted the photo on the left recently on her Twitter.  Didn't she once try to regain popularity by posing nude for a photo shoot?  OK, Linds, please no more nude shots.  Anorexic coke whores are not attractive.  Also in Lindsay news, she is being investigated by Scotland Yard for the theft of $500,000 worth of jewelry from the set of that photo shoot.  Who the hell leaves Lindsay Lohan alone with $500,000 worth of jewelery?  That's like leaving me alone with the open tab of the bride's father at a wedding reception...HEY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!  WANT A DRINK COURTESY OF THE BRIDE'S FATHER?  Just kidding, by the way, Happy Anniversary J and L!  Sorry I missed it but I didn't think you needed a third wheel around.  Oh and Happy Anniversary Croatian Sensation and I don't know your nickname oh and Happy Anniversary to the Kegmaster D and Freedom...basically Happy Anniversary to everyone whose wedding I stood in some fashion although most of those weddings I wasn't standing, more like wobbling especially that one where Skinny Wolf passed out during the sermon.  INSIDE MEMORIES ARE AWESOME!

That's Jeff Archuleta on the left.  He's the father of last year's American Idol runner-up David Archuleta.  Jeff was banned from backstage at American Idol because of his stage-father antics.  He was more of a diva than his son.  Basically, I hated the guy.  Anyway he was recently arrested for solicting a prostitute at a Utah massage parlor.  I read up and I found out there are many massage parlors that double as brothels.  Man, I thought they just went the extra mile for me because I had personality and was ruggedly handsome. 

Urinal cakes featuring Gene Simmons promoting his reality show, Family Jewels, have been appearing in urinals around the country.  Apparently they also speak and Gene makes fun of your little manhood.  Gee, that's what I've always wanted to do...piss on Gene Simmons.  What am I Chuck Berry or R Kelly or Ray Jay?

Guess the ass!  This desperate housewife has been quite desperate to have a summer without her husband around but his NBA team was knocked out early in the playoffs.  Eva Longoria.

Since Cristiano Ronaldo survived his run-in with Medusa...I mean, Paris Hilton, he needs a hard massage.  So is that the happy ending I hear bandied about in the massage vernacular?

Guess the ass!  I think it is safe to say that this ass belongs to the star of the movie that will be the biggest hit of the summer.  Bruno...Sacha Baron Cohen.

Here is Bruno doing promotion for his movie which hasn't been released yet.  Somewhere Eminem is furiously jerking it.

Barry Manilow turned 66 this week.  Why would I include Barry Manilow in the Round Up?  Slow week?  No, he writes the songs that make the world sing and he writes the songs that you sing in the shower.

True Blood is back on the air.  I really need to see that show.  Anna Paquin is an amazing actress.

Britney Spears made a surprise appearance at a McDonald's in London this week.  OMG!  That is HUGE!  Let me catch my breath.  You know that is like Amy Winehouse showing up at a crackhouse or Paris Hilton at a free clinic or God at church.  She is where she is supposed to be.  Also, people close to Britney are saying that she is engaged to her boyfriend Jason Trawick.  He's her agent turned lover.  You know marrying Britney makes financil sense.  Why only settle for making 10% from his client when he can make 50% when he divorces her?

Video Section
Al Roker is the fucking king!

So Richard and Sal from the Howard Stern Show took advantage of the recent protesting outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater.  Seriously, take some time to listen to how misinformed those people are.  I was crying, not tears of laughter but tears of sadness as to how stupid people are.

So I know I have one person on here that is a huge Daisy of Love fan.  I know because you admitted it.  Well I was surfing around and I found something you might be interested in.  It's sort of a late birthday present because I haven't been able to give you what I got.
Well I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I hope all the fathers out there have a great father's day.  I am heading to the casino for some rest and relaxation.

So expect to see a few of these over the next couple of days.  I have been lazy and have been letting my links collect.  Well maybe not too lazy but just swamped.

Have you ever read something and afterward felt like you could create something much better?  Well here are 6 writers who crapped out masterpieces.  I love that Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is on that list.  Cracked created a sexual harassment PSA.  I never saw one of those for any of my jobs but I remember catching a horrible PSA about the dangers of porn one night on TCM.  If that wasn't terrifying enough here is a list of 10 ads that traumatize children.  I will have nightmares tonight.

A former student sent me this link to a site that you draw a pig and they determine your personality based on the drawing.  I haven't done it yet but I can imagine what will be said about myself however I can't draw with pencils let alone a mouse.

Whenever I go to KFC, I sneak out with a supply of extra sporks.  Sporks rock!  Well someone created a Venn diagram(am I a nerd for loving those?) that shows the grand unification of cutlery.  I MUST HAVE!

I found this blog interesting.  People send in photos of their refrigerators.  It really does bring in thoughts about that old say, "You are what you eat."

I enjoyed Angels and Demons, the novel, and have yet to see the movie.  I think I will wait for a DVD rental.  Anyway I was fascinated with the ambigram.  Here is a site that lets you create your own.

So this guy has collected a list of everthing that he and his girlfriend fight about.  He is such a dick but it is amusing and some of them make my thankful to be single.  Wait, did I just say that?

Do you know how the shoes you wear got its name?  Well mentalfloss put together a list of 9 shoes and how they got their name.  And here I thought ADIDAS simply got their name because it stood for All Day I Dream About Sports(or Sex).

A couple years ago I got about 1000 emails of a picture that had different scenes in it that were to determine the name of bands for instance a jalapeno was on fire therefore it stood for Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Anyway here is a new one, this time it invokes the titles of movies.

Here's a fun website.  They give you a drawing of a penis and then you draw it to make it look not like a penis.  It sounds complicated but the results are quite funny.

I opened this website about spiders and then I started to have a panic attack.  I hate spiders.  They aren't to be messed with.

Some one took the laws of physics and applied them to cats.  They are so true.

Remember how fanny packs were the huge fad years back?  Well now someone is trying to market a fanny pack for your head.  This will be the wave of the future.

The name of this blog is Maybe You Shouldn't Buy That but since we are in an economic crisis, maybe you should buy that.

Some really smart guys actually put a lot of time and research into this topic: Is a Terminator Scenario Possible?  The results might surprise you.  I can't believe people are putting effort into that question but of course look at what sci-fi of the past has given us today.

Do you smell?  Do you want soap but sick of the same old bar or body wash?  Well here are some unique bars of soap.  So many of those can result in naughtiness.

Well expect a couple more of these throughout the weekend.  I have enough links for about 4 more posts.

So I started a new project this weekend to help me keep my mind off of things.  I started writing about the Bible and it is geared to be used in class settings.  Tonight I have been researching the Apocrypha.  That has been quite interesting.  Reading about Christ's dirty diapers that healed the sick.   I have somewhat of a clue where I am going with the writing but it has been fun just writing without an outline.  Here's your weekly or maybe that should be weakly dose of motivation.

Well I hope you are motivated.  Time to go put the lotion in the basket.  The hint to that lies in the song.