Have you ever noticed how a good number of the people in the pro-life movement also are involved in the pro-death penalty movement?  Is this the definition of irony or hypocrisy?

I have heard a lot of Christians saying how they don't like to be categorized with Scott Roeder and the other fringe groups of Christianity that advocate violence against abortion clinics and the workers therein.  Then they go and say that all practitioners of Islam are terrorists. 

Why do they call it taking a dump when you aren't really taking it anywhere----muchos apologies to Senors Beavis y Butthead.

I finally figured out why Bill Graham and his crusades were so offensive to the Muslim world.

I play poker and I feel embarrassed to hold any card with a Jack off suit.

I once saw Dan Rather and was tempted to ask, "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"

Lately, I have really become disinterested in Facebook.  To me it seems like the popularity contest that was high school and just a place for people to send application requests.  No, I don't want to join your mafia.  No, I do not want to poke you.  No, I do not want to play the best web-based word game.  Do I want a hug...ok, maybe I want a hug but why do I need to accept an application to receive a hug?  Why can't we get together and hug it out?  Lately I have been getting all these applications from my high school classmates that ask me to take a quiz to see if I really know who they are.  I FAIL MISERABLY!  Most of the questions are from the ___ years since graduation and in that period when there wasn't a Facebook to keep in contact.  Really, you have 3 kids?  Wow, you've been married three times?  And you've been in jail five times?  Do I care?  Maybe if the class officer in charge of setting up our reunions actually gave a damn we could have talked about this and maybe I would have passed your Facebook quiz and you wouldn't call me a horrible friend.  Let's see how well you know me

1.  How many high schools did I attend?
         a.  1
         b.  4
         c.  2
         d.  None...because I am that damn smart with my Mensa rated IQ

2.  What is my favorite band?
         a.  The Beatles
         b.  Led Zeppelin
         c.  Pink Floyd
         d.  Barry Jive and the Uptown Five

3.  Which sports did I play in high school?
         a.  Cross-country, boy's volleyball, golf
         b.  Soccer, basketball, long distance runner for track
         c.  Football, wrestling, baseball
         d.  Sports have no place in our modern society

4.  Which of these sports do I consider legitimate?
        a.  NASCAR
        b.  Bowling
        c.  Poker
        d.  Synchronized Swimming

5.  Which of these was NOT one of my nicknames?
       a.  Tiny
       b.  Tank
       c.  Mom
       d.  Wurm

6.  Which of these is my favorite high school memory?
      a.  A professor for the better half of a semester called me Lucas, the name of an African American student
      b.   During my supervised piano practice, the checker lady hit me with her cane because I wasn't practicing despite having a cast on my hand.
      c.  The night when we locked the dorm supervisor off our floor and turned the hallway into a giant slip and slide
      d.  Winning the Dairyland Conference title in football
      e.  Playing in a state championship football game despite losing 55-14
      f.  Living away from my parents during all four years of high school
      g.  "Borrowing" the former principal's keys and streaking through the school late at night much to the chagrin of some female teachers doing late night preparation
      h.  All of the above
      i.  None of the above

7.  I have done extensive coaching in my life, which sport(s) have I NOT at one point coached:
     a.  Football
     b.  Weight lifting
     c.  Track
     d.  Softball
     e.  Baseball
     f.  Cross-country
     g.  Volleyball
     h.  Soccer
     i.  Basketball

8.  Where was I born?
    a.  Under a bad sign
    b.  Down to the crossroads
    c.  at a hospital
    d.  The stork brought me

9.  Which of the following cars have I NOT owned?
     a.  Pontiac Bonneville
     b.  Chrysler Concorde
     c.  Chevy Blazer
     d.  Ford Reichswagen

10.  Alan Rickman is ____________________
     a.  Underrated
     b.  Overrated
     c.  Who the hell is Adam Rickman?

This is the earliest Fuck My Life moment.

I thought I would post these songs instead of posting pulses about the size of my penis.

Off to get one help me get to sleep.  Your stock portfolio isn't the only thing that has plummeted.  Your attention span is at dangerously low levels due to this post.  Oh and I have another post up my sleeve about Facebook and how people are so naive.