So I sat down tonight and started working on a second "Girl" post.  I think it was funny but I had to put it down when Top Chef started.  I decided to try my own Top Chef drinking game.

Take 1 drink every time they show a scallop or say the word "scallop"
Take 1 drink for every time a contestant says "I'm not here to make friends."
Take 1 drink if a contestant says they should win because that is their field of expertise.

Take 1 drink if a contestant expresses concern about using something they are unfamiliar with.
Take 1 drink if the contestants all show complete shock to a particular challenge.

Take 1 drink whenever Padme says something which she is unqualified to say...use at your own risk
Take 1 drink when the guest chef is not well known outside of his region.

Take 1 drink every time Gale Simmons mentions Food and Wine magazine...use at your own risk

For some reason tonight's episode didn't have me drinking.

I have two cats sleeping next to me.  Little do they know I am about to scream in order to keep them on their feet...er...paws.

Prepositions are fun to end sentences with.

Wisconics Lesson #1...counting
To say that there is a couple of something one must say "a couple, two, tree"  The -th sound is unknown in the Wisconics language.

Wisconics Lesson #2...ATM Machines
You may think Wisconsinites are strange and sci-fi fans because they frequently ask for ATMs by asking, "Hey youse guys, come here real quick once, where's yer Tyme Machine?"  "Um?" "Oh der it is, I'm going by duh Tyme Machine and den off to Fleet Farm."

Wisconics Lesson #3...drinking
A person from Wisconsin will ask for water fountains or drinking fountains by asking, "Hey youse guys, come here real quick once, where's yer bubbler?"  "Um?" "Oh der it is, I'm gonna get me sum water over by the bubbler.  Wanna come with er no?"  The safest thing you can do in the event a Wisconsinite asks for a bubbler is to point them to the nearest bar that serves brandy old-fashioneds and then stay out of there way. 

Wisconics doesn't translate well to the world of the internet.

2012 is going to kick my ass.

It's offical, Vikings players hate Brett Favre and he has already caused a schism in the Vikings' lockerroom.  It couldn't happen to a better guy.  Good luck in the....hahahahaha...playoffs...hahahahahahahaha

"Every time I think about you, I touch my elf"....Actually I think he is trying to slide down her chimney.

Yes, that is where they got the concept for those awful movies.

Schadenfreude, noun, satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

I can't decide which competition this comes from: Welcome to the 2009 Miss He-Didn't-Pull-Out Competition...or...Welcome to the 2009 Miss I Strip to Support My Fatherless Child.

Why must we discriminate against hookers?

"Homo Loco takes down Teabag the Terrible with his patented Coxygen Mask move."  Seriously Japanese wrestling is crazy.  I need to find some videos of a Japanese wrestling show I once saw called Stranglemania.

I think there is irony here.

Here's some more irony.  Don't know what irony is?  Well look it up.

Ice Cream?  No.  Culver's delicious frozen custard?  No.  That is chicken slurry.  That is what unprocessed Chicken McNuggets look like.

Well...if you insist.

If a douchebag falls in the forest and no one is around, do we still laugh?

Turtle Power

Guten Abend