So here we are again. Another Tuesday evening and I can't sleep. It is getting worse. I am surprised I am going on such little sleep. It will catch up with me.
I was sitting in church on Sunday and I was looking at this woman. She reminded me of someone but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then she looked at me and put her arm around her husband and then it hit. She looks like Pam from this cute little show I discovered called The Office. I saw the British version before the American version and then they slapped Brick Tamland as the lead and I figured people would laugh just because. I was over at a friend's house watching an episode when it first was on and they didn't get the real humor but laughed at the slapstick stuff. It drove me nuts. Anyway since The Office is in syndication I am watching and enjoying. Oh and that Pam look-a-like, she's the church's secretary...serious.
ESPN Classic is airing the 1993 World Series of Poker and it's hosted by Dick Van Patten. When I think of Texas Hold'em, I think of Dick Van Patten.
Here's your motivation:
I was checking out the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are...stellar. I have been waiting for that movie since I saw the crappy animation job on Reading Rainbow.
I have been posting like mad lately...3 in 24 hours! Damn, son. I think I am subconsciously gearing up for another numerical post extravaganza. In case you missed it, here is a post about a couple of songs about Minnesota. Well enough whoring for one day.
This episode, Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers was directed by Judd Apatow and was written by Paul Feig and Judd Apatow.
Plot Summary: Lindsay tries to convince Harold to let her join her friends at a Who concert. Kim and Lindsay accidentally run over Millie's dog. Soon after, Kim starts hanging out with Millie. Lindsay wants to tell Millie the truth about her dog, but Kim doesn't. Meanwhile, Nick teaches himself to play guitar and writes a love ballad for Lindsay and decides to play it for her despite Kens' objections. Ms. Haverchuck stuns Bill with the news that she has been dating Coach Fredricks.
This might just be my favorite episode of the series. Martin Starr who plays Bill was so good in this episode, especially during the sequence where "I'm One" by The Who plays, which is always one of the most memorable sequences for me. I relate a lot to Bill. I felt awkward like he did at times and not fitting into groups. Thankfully I never had to go through what he did with having my PE teacher date my mom...that would have been awful. That is why when I was teaching I stayed away from single mothers even though I was constantly set up.
I guess the episode was great because two people sort of broke out of their molds. You have Bill being rebellious and the same goes with Millie. At the start of the series who would have thought that by the near end Millie would be hanging out with Kim Kelly. I sort of felt weird about Millie's storyline because I never put that much emotion into my pets however when I think about it, yeah, I did get emotional especially when I lost my Rottweiler Mädchen. She was stolen but at least she put up a struggle and tore off the finger of her thief. So maybe Millie's storyline was uncomfortable because it brought back those memories.
I love how Fredericks does his best to win over Bill's mom and the geeks but Bill is having none of it. Such a powerful episode.
This actually developed a fun third storyline that wasn't fully developed in the final cut and that was of Nick trying to learn guitar to play for Lindsay almost as a way to win her back. Ken put an end to that.
Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers...such a great episode with such an incredible soundtrack. Oh and one of the most laughable moments was when Lindsay's parents listen to Squeezebox by The Who to determine if it was dirty or not.
Things to Look For: "As I pulled the reins of the horse, she pulled the reins of her soul... I'm out of control!" YOU'LL KNOW!
A rare bit of Weir sibling squabbling in the opening scene, as Sam tries to fan the flames of Harold's paranoia about the Who concert, largely because he's bitter he can't ever see "Kentucky Fried Movie." Do I need to bring back my post on Kentucky Fried Movie?
I like how, when Lindsay tells her parents about Millie going to the concert, she's both sincere in her concern for Millie and brilliant in the knowledge that this will get them to give her what she wants. She's definitely picking stuff up from Kim about manipulating others.
Music: "I'm Free," "I'm One," "Boris the Spider," "Love Reign O'er Me," "Squeeze Box," "Goin' Mobile" and "Drowned" by The Who; "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," performed by Jason Segel, James Franco and Seth Rogen; "Lady L," written and performed by Jason Segel; "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Crofts
Trivia: When Bill wipes out at the Go-Kart track, you can see several palm trees in the background, which aren't indigenous to Michigan.
"Stripes" wasn't released until June 1981, so they couldn't be discussing the movie during the '80-'81 school year
Claudia Christian, who played Gloria Haverchuck in this episode and "Chokin' and Tokin'," choose the show title as part of her 2007 autobiography title, "My Life With Geeks & Freaks."
When Lindsay is talking at Goliath's funeral, she mentions that her mother would come over wearing fur boots and Goliath would hump her feet. She then goes on to mentioned that Goliath was spayed. This term is gender specific to female pets.
This episode was scheduled to air 27 Mar 00. It had its first broadcast 10 Oct 00 on Fox Family Channel (where use of words such as "ass" is usually forbidden).
Mr. Kowchevski: "Hey, hey, hey Coco, this isn't the cafeteria from Fame. Uncle..." This is a reference to Coco Hernandez one of the main characters in the movie "Fame". (I believe that she, like many of the characters tended to play music over lunch.) The reference by Danny to explain Mr. Kowchevski's reference "she was the hot chick in the movie who took her shirt off", refers to the final year at the school (in the movie) when Coco is manipulated into undressing for a "screen test" by a sleazy "producer" she met in a diner.
Quotes: Nick: Actually, I wrote a song for you... If you wanna hear it. Lindsay: Nah-ah. Nick: Yeah. (Starts playing) Ken: (Walks over and takes the guitar) Check it out. Eh... Hey, look at me, I'm Pete Townsend! Daniel: All right Townsend! Whooo! Ken: Yeah! (Smashes the guitar into the ground) Nick: (to Lindsay) He's a crack-up, right? (Walks over to Ken and pushes him) Ken: This is the biggest favor I ever did for you.
Mr. Weir: OK, I'll tell you what Lindsay. I'll listen to this album and you can go to the concert if I don't find anything objectionable. Lindsay: Thanks Dad. I'm sure it'll be fine. Mr. Weir: Oh don't be so sure of yourself; I'll be listening to it backwards too!
Ken: Lots of whackos use their real emotions.
Here's the episode enoy and just for the hell of it and because I love my readers so much and I want to know if people have read any of this, here is an extra video of Thomas Wilson and a photo of Bill. Now you may get a better idea of what other role Thomas Wilson is known for.
A few years ago I happened across a band called Vomit Sauce while cavorting in a bar some place in Minneapolis. They weren't bad for a two man group, a singer and guitarist. One song they did was called "Minneapolis". Weird, right? So I have been trying to get this song posted on Xanga but for some reason it will never upload. I think Xanga Team is biased against Minneapolis. Anyway I have been trying to play this song and tried to write my own verse. My verse makes no sense but that's ok because sometimes poetry and songs aren't supposed to make sense.
(Here's the original)
I packed a truck and I left New York to move to Minneapolis When I got here I couldn't find a job, so I lived in a cardboard box. So my dog ran away, my best friend died How I love this midwest town, Where the rivers are clean and the winters aren't bad Why did I ever leave New York....
For a town, called, Minneapolis! I also call it Minnecrapolis! Minnechapamappachakkamakkachikkamakkalappalapolis! Chikkamakkachakkamakkalapochappachappachappolapolis!
So give me a Premo or give me death Sittin' here on Lake Street Things have been bad but they can get worse, I don't want to get hit by a bus So I'll put ketchup in my socks, Cause' I'm hot doggin, Its not New York but its damn close, I still flog my dolphin...
here in Minneapolis I said Minnecrapolis! I also said chakkamakkalappachakkachappalappalapolis! chakkahchakkachakkachakkachakkachakkachappachapplapolis!
Then I got thinking about how dreary the weather was today. I haven't had my furnace inspected so I am not running it. Last night was near freezing so it got cold in my house. Right now I have one of my Grain Belt stocking caps on so I won't freeze. My fingers are blue but not for the fun reason. Then my mp3 player gave me the perfect song that reminded me of what is to come. The song is called "Ten Thousand Lakes" by Kid Dakota, a two piece band out of Minneapolis by way of Northfield, MN. The lead singer/guitarist wet to St. Olaf. OK Golden Girls fans don't have fantasies of Rose because St. Olaf is a college not a town. Here's the song and the lyrics.
I’m in Minnesota again for the winter
I’m in Minnesota again for the winter
I didn’t come for ice fishing
I didn’t come for duck hunting
I’m not Scandanvian
Or in search of Paul Bunyan
I came for the tapeworms
I came for the tapeworms
Well I came to get better
I’m in Minnesota again for the winter
The thought of ten thousand lakes makes me feel smaller
I didn’t come for ice fishing
I didn’t come for duck hunting
I’m not Scandanvian
Or in search of Paul Bunyan
I’m no fan of the Vikings
Or subzero windchills,
Drifts bigger than buildings
Or running on treadmills
But I’m optimistic
But I’m off to Mystic
Cause I’m feeling lucky
I’m in Minnesota again for the winter
The thought of ten thousand lakes makes me feel smaller
The thought of ten thousand lakes makes me feel…
Well it makes me feel weaker
I love that song, especially the reference to Mystic.
Usually this finds it's way to Xanga in the morning but today was somewhat busy. I had this interview today and didn't quite know what to make of it. It seems like I am the only applicant which makes things sound decent. The general manager of this co-op is telling me all the duties that the job entails and then he kept saying "you will get this" or "you will get that" or "we'll give you a clothing allowance" or "you're going to get some great health insurance" or "we give you a 1/2 ton pick-up". Then he hands me an application to fill out and return. I am clueless about the whole thing so I will fill it out and take it back tomorrow. Hopefully I won't have to wait an hour to talk with him like I did today.
Yesterday was also crazy because at about 8AM as I am getting ready to go to church for my Bible class and services, I get a phone call from one of my aunts saying that my cousins and another aunt are driving through and want to go out for lunch. I decided to go because it was at the casino. I love me some buffet. I figured my recent weightloss could take a pause. I mean I got something like 900lbs to go. I really should start posting my intake and vomiting tips. So I feasted on the prime rib, twice baked potatoes, eggs Benedict, lemon baked chicken, cheesy potato soup, nachos, cabbage rolls, veal, tapioca pudding and turtle cheesecake. Oddly, I weighed more before I ate. This was all washed down with a $1 tap beer of Old Milwaukee and a Packers victory.
The cousins that came were the ones I have written about before. Their son is just hypnotized by me. He was screaming how he had to sit by me and then when it came time to get food, he refused his parents' help and wanted me to get him food. Maybe he knows that the fat guy has great taste in food. It was such a great meal mostly because my cousin had one of her dramatic headaches. It was such a production. I just wanted to scream, "Hey, you dizzy dame(is it any wonder I am single?), I'm over here pissing and crapping blood and the doctors can't figure it out. In fact this morning I wake up and I had blood coming out of three of my body's holes. Want to guess which ones? Your headache and your act is insignificant to me. Woman up." I kept my mouth shut because I was too busy reading a copy of The Onion. My casino has The Onion at the entrance.
Then I came home and was preparing for today. I had dreams of grandeur of how I single-handedly bring the Amish up to the 19th century and they thank me with "hole in the sheet" shenanigans. Yeah it was one of those dreams.
I have to admit here that many people enjoyed my poem I wrote the other night. I wonder if they would like it more or less if they knew it was an acrostic.
Oh and for the one of you who understands: Old Blue Fingers is back.
Music
This mash-up combines "Sweet Dreams" by The Eurythmics with "Without Me" by Eminem. As I have said before, "Without Me" is probably the most used vocals in the mash-up universe. I guess I don't mind this mash-up even though I am not an Eminem fan.
This mash-up combines "Milkshake" by Kelis with "Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears. Not bad, not bad. There was something so sexual about Britney in that song that I can't deny that I loved it. I also love her song Toxic but not as much as I love Local H's cover.
Here's a little "In da Club" by 50 Cent mixed with "Staying Alive" by The Beegees. It took me a couple of listens to get how this was a mash-up. Maybe that is a sign of a good mash-up.
Here I am bringing my milkshakes to the yard.
Here's the poem I was talking about and here is the Celebrity Round Up. I am curious if anyone understood the joke I had for the final photo.
Another week has passed and it's time for another round-up. Here we go. Some images may not be safe for work or for life.
Zooey Deschanel married Ben Gibbard of the band Death Cab for Cutie. I bet the reception sucked. If you watch Top Chef like I watch Top Chef and remember the Top Chef Masters edition then you would remember that Zooey is a vegan. I'm not saying I hate vegans; I'm just saying that the proper way to celebrate a wedding is to tear into a slab of meat. Oh and Willie Nelson was there because he loves weed. I suppose that's vegan. Victoria Rowell, star of The Young and the Restless, wore this dress to the Emmys. The first thing I thought when I saw it was, "Is she pregnant with the president's head?" Then it dawned on me. She borrowed that dress. She borrowed it from Glenn Beck because you know he loves wearing that dress for his crossdressing weekends. I wanted to post two photos of Victoria Beckham before she disappears. She is almost transparent. Oh wait, she claims that she is extremely healthy because she lifts weights five times a day. Oh I suppose "lifting weights" is what they are calling vomiting these days. Lifting weights? Only if the weight is a matchstick. She needs to head to the nearest Old Country Buffet and do some weightlifting there, preferably with a fork. You know you have to get up and walk to get your food and drink so I guess there is your cardio. I should so be a trainer. Tara Reid once said that rehab saved her life. Here we see her celebrating Oktoberfest in München. I see that rehab is doing her well. I think rehab is sort of like how prison basically teaches inmates how to be better criminals. How many of those do you think Tara could toss back? The over/under is 25 and I would go with an over probably at 57. Sophia Loren turned 75 this week. Yeah...my grandfather, the character of whose exploits I have shared, was very fond of Sophia. He had many pin-ups in his leather repair shop. Sophia's were right next to Bettie Page posters. I miss those days. Scott Baio turned 48 this week. Thankfully he lost that hair style years ago. Randy Quaid and his wife skipped out on a hotel bill that reportedly exceeded $10,000. Who are the real criminals here? The cult leader looking Quaids or the hotel owners? I say the hotel owners. They charge for the basic human necessities such as shelter, bathrooms, bed, hot stone massages, and lobster thermidor. This must be stopped! The Quaids, even though they didn't pay their hotel bill, made bail so I guess all Holiday Inns should be on the lookout. I think Randy had better take Cousin Eddie's lead and get an RV. You know, I really heart Pink's new attire that she has been wearing for her concerts. Paris Hilton is working on a new album despite her first album bombing. I have to admit one of my guilty pleasures: I have two of her songs on my mp3 player. With that being said, I think Paris should stick to what she is best at: shopping, attention-whoring, eightsomes, and biological outbreaks. Pam Anderson is a deadbeat. There I said it. She owes one contractor $1.2million for work he did on her mansion. She also owes the state of California $250,000 in back income taxes...is it any wonder that California is paying people with IOUs? Pam also owes the dumpster company that hauled away the trash from her mansion's makeover $7000. Years ago, when Pam Anderson needed to pay people she gave them an option, cash or condoms. Since that was many years ago and also because of the ravages of Hepatitis C, most men are declining the condom payment option. Did you know that Tim Burton was originally tagged to direct the Superman Returns movie? Did you know that Nicolas Cage was set to play Superman? Well it all fell through and just this week Tim Burton posted some of the test shots of Cage as Superman. I've been thinking about this but honestly Nicolas Cage as Superman and Tim Burton directing couldn't have been any worse than the actual Superman Returns movie. It sucked horribly and thank god no one wants anymore. Miley Cyrus posted this on her Twitter. She misspelled 22% of the words but you have to give her credit since she hasn't been in school since she was 7 years old. We should be praising her for not eating glue. Megan Fox's new movie Jennifer's Body bombed at the box office this week. It was beaten out by a movie whose title sounds like a porno movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Who knew that this movie would be crap? Oh yeah, everyone. Oh my God, Megan Fox got so depressed and put on a lot of weight...wait that's Marilyn Manson, shockingly similar. Anyway, Marilyn Manson announced that he has swine flu. He also said that the doctors said that is wasn't transferred from any of his past choices in women. Hey, he was with Dita von Teese. I hate you Marilyn Manson. I think the only way that I will contract swine flu is if it is contractible through chocolate covered bacon wrapped pork chops. Mackenzie Phillips revealed that she had a ten year consensual sexual relationship with her father John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas. She also stated in her book that he gave her heroin and that she had a pregnancy scare. It was either her father's child/grandchild or her boyfriend's so instead of waiting to see, she had an abortion. Could all this be California Dreamin'? I hope, but other family members are coming out to say they knew of this relationship. Here we see Katy Perry getting adjusted while shooting a new music video. What I want to know is HOW THE HELL DO I GET THAT JOB? Kim and Kourtney Kardashian were at the Emmys last weekend. Since when do they need fluffers at the Emmy award ceremony? Khloe "The Hulk" Kardashian and professional basketball player Lamar Odom are getting married this weekend. They have only dated about a month. Hey, Prop 8 supporters, you win! Or maybe you lose...I don't understand the schematics. There are only four possibilities for The Hulk getting married after a month of dating: 1. She's pregnant 2. She needs the money 3. She needs a green card 4. She needs publicity for a fledgling reality show. So which one is it? I think it is a combination of 1,2, and 4 because she is an American citizen. Kevin Federline, or the new nickname he goes by these days K-Well Fed, is sick of being called fat so he is set to join the cast of an upcoming season of Celebrity Fit Club. Here's the twist. One of his baby mommas is going to also be in the cast. Not Britney. The other baby momma, Shar Jackson. Losing weight on TV in front of millions of people must be difficult and he just made it harder by having to lose weight in front of one of his exes or maybe it is an opportunity to rekindle an old flame. Who am I kidding? He looks like a skinny version of me. Kanye West looks really enthused to be kissing his girlfriend Amber Rose but....excuse me Kanye, Amber Rose may be a great kisser but...oh wait I don't think she would want the world to know that I kissed her so I won't name her. Amber Rose posed nude for Complex Magazine. You know she really needs to ditch Kanye and I am single. John Travolta finally admitted that his son who died was autistic. This is actually huge because of their Scientology beliefs. Scientology refuses to recognize autism as an actual affliction. So the Travolta family blamed their son's problems on some disease which they believed came from toxins in their carpet. Now they say it is autism. They say that autism is nothing more than an affliction of degraded human beings and since it is a condition of the mind they will not treat it with any medicine. So treatment goes against the tenents of the pseudo-religion. I hate Scientology and the only person I feel sorry for is Jett Travolta because his parents were lemmings who didn't want to upset the higher-ups in their group. That being said I also dislike when Christian groups will not allow their followers to seek medical attention. Hey, Holly Madison, you are getting older. Stop dressing like a little girl, you can no longer impress Hugh Hefner. He is dating 19 year old twins. You're a 29 year old, old maid so drop the candy and get on with life. Wait...keep the lollipop. Drew Carey recently made an announcement on Twitter that if you came to a restaurant at a certain time, he would buy your lunch. He had so many people show up. You know it is nice to see a celebrity be so charitable in this time of economic uncertainty. And see...Twitter can be good, just if I lived in L.A. Now if he truly wants to be charitable, he'll get me on his show and all I have to say is one word: PLINKO (of course it will be rigged for me to get the highest amount of money with every Plinko chip). Paramedics were called to David Hasselhoff's residence this week after his 17 year old daughter called to say that her father was extremely drunk. He was treated at the hospital for alcohol poisoning which would be the 5th time in the past few years. I feel bad for his daughter. She was the one who videotaped him lying on his bathroom floor all drunk and eating cheeseburgers. David has claimed that he wasn't drunk but that his medicine that keeps him from craving alcohol mixed with medicine for an ear ache caused to act disoriented and unbalanced. So I guess his daughter must have been drunk and gotten it all wrong. Either way he needs to get off TV and into rehab...wait, it didn't work for Tara Reid, at least get him some help. Christina Hendricks, star of Mad Men, was at the Emmys. Dude, I would stare too. She is so stunning. She won a statue at the Emmys but I can think of one I would like to award her...sorry I'm suffering from a drought. Chaz Bono signed a six figure deal to write a book about his(now) experience going through gender reassignment. In this day and age people hardly read so they should probably do a reality series. Oh they are? Hopefully it won't be one of those VH-1 style dating shows. Either way, I predict the show and the book will both be blockbusters. Even though Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes movie has yet to be released, they have already signed to do a sequel with Brad Pitt signed on to play Moriarty. You know, I may actually care. Mark October 25th on your calendars because that is the day that Beyonce will be beheaded. On that day she is performing in Malaysia and the Islamic leaders of that country are already condemning her concert because of her provocative nature. They are worried that she may incite the crowd with her provocative dress. Beyonce has said she has thought of wearing a burqa. If she really wanted to incite the crowd maybe she should just express her opinion. The sports most overrated star, Anna Kournikova is possibly pregnant. Assistants said that she didn't participate in the recent Malibu Triathlon because she was two months along. What does she see in Enrique? Oh he had the mole removed which means he lost all his talent. Anyway just expect more in a baby tidal wave amongst celebrities. Sarah Michelle Gellar gave birth as did Julie Chen. They don't get their photos because they named their children normal names. My Boss and author of New Jersey's state song turned 60 this week. I bet when he woke up on his birthday he was thankful that he was Born in the USA yet he longed for those Glory Days. Then to calm his Hungry Heart he went Dancing in the Dark. After that he took a ride in his Pink Cadillac on the Streets of Philadelphia to find a Secret Garden. Maybe later on his birthday he went into a Tunnel of Love...OK that was a stretch. OH MY GAWD....I AM A NERD!
Wel that is all for this week. I hope you enjoyed. Have a swell weekend.
I can't sleep right now because I am thinking. Tomorrow is big day. I have an opportunity for a job outside of the teaching world. I have been subbing for some time now and it hasn't been the most fulfilling work but I do get to set my own schedule and get to travel. The job is in my hometown and it would take away a commute, it's about 3 or 4 blocks from my house. Anyway if I go for it, I may end up staying out of teaching. I don't know. So either I go to this job interview or I become a Bierleichen (beer zombie). Oktoberfest kicks off tomorrow morning and I live near one of the largest celebrations in America. One time in high school my German class was invited for the tapping of the golden keg and we sang "Ein Prosit Ein Prosit Der Gemütlichkeit (hey I remembered the umlaut). Later that day a couple classmates and I snuck into the beer gardens and we got plastered. Anyway I really want to go because they make such a huge deal of this celebration. The local news station interrupts broadcast to air the transport of the tap to the beer gardens for the tapping of the golden keg. The procession is much like how they do the Olympic torch except they have people running through the streets carrying a beer tap. Open intoxicant laws are thrown out the window and the police get drunk right along with the festgoers. The last time I was in that town during Oktoberfest I was at a redlight and I was offered a beerbong. Oh and this year they had to hire police officers from London because they are expecting record numbers of people. Nothing like a recession to bring record numbers of people wanting to get drunk. Then I can see sites like this:
Ok so the last two weren't from Oktoberfest but they were from a pretty kick-ass wedding reception that I couldn't partake of because I was bit by a spider and couldn't mix alcohol with my medicines because I wanted to keep my leg from being amputated.
OK, I think I have my mind made up. I'm going to go to the job interview, go to the grocery store, get some bratwurst and sauerkraut, and have my own Oktoberfest in my backyard. I just hope someone wakes me up in case I pass out. Also it would suck going alone because then I wouldn't have a designated driver...god, I am getting old.
Ich würde nie Alkohol im Strassenverkehr verzeihen. Ich unterstreiche gerade, dass ich jetzt verantwortlicher als an den Tagen meiner Jugend bin.
After a long absence Cocky and I are back. In case you don't remember, my cock is my pet rooster, Cocky McCockburns. He's feisty and he's Scottish and he is ready to unload his wisdom all over the place.
Me: Cocky, how have you been. Cocky: Pretty tired. Me: How so? Cocky: Well I haven't felt like getting up lately. No matter how much you would push or pull on me, I just wanted to lay down and be lifeless. Me: And now you are feeling better? Cocky: Hell yeah, I am on some new medicine that has me darting up every morning without that lifeless feeling. Me: What's your medicine? Cocky: Viagra.
Me: Well, Cocky, are you ready? Cocky: Cocked, locked and ready to unload. Me: Excellent...and now a word from our sponsors.
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Dear Godfather and Cocky, Where do you come up with your ideas? I mean you seem like such a creative person so I would just like to know when and where do you get these ideas? Creative in Cashton,
Me: Well, Creative, you actually have me blushing. Cocky: Are you sure that isn't because of broken capillaries from drinking? Me: Actually I get ideas all the time for writing and one of the things I recommend is carrying around a small not pad with you because you never know when the creative bug will bite. Cocky: You never take a note pad with you into your throne room. Me: Ugh...that's because I am "reading" in my "reading room". Cocky: Yeah.."reading". Look Creative, I find the best thoughts come post orgasm...hahaha come
Dear Godfather and Cocky, Recently a right-winger likened me to a prostitute. My response was "At least the men who come to my street corner have a penis, unlike you." Was there a way I could have handled this better. Red Light Rebecaa in Reedsburg,
Me: Way to stand your ground! I figure that if someone insults you like that then they don't have much upstairs to debate with so your response is very proper. Cocky: OK, I have been hanging around Reedsburg for plenty of time. Which street corner do you work on? I bet it is by the old movie theater that was destroyed in the flood. I hear a lot of unsavory activity goes on inside. Me being a luscious full-bodied cock, I'm just too savory for that place. Anyway the last girl I picked up in Reedsburg didn't suffer from the problem of your right-winger there. I should have made sure I was buying a taco instead of a footlong hot dog before I paid.
Dear Godfather and Cocky, How do you feel about the plan President Obama (I could type those two words all day) has announced to cut the defecit in half by the end of his first term? Politico in Potosi,
Me: I think he has set a lofty goal; a goal which he he will be taken to task for. Unfortunately Republicans have proven that even in a time of economic crisis, they will still play the same political posturing. They will do their best to try and make legislation take forever to get passed just to bring the President down. Cocky: Some day people will realize that all you need is to let Chickens take over these banks for awhile. We are frugal people who know how to save. Our paperwork will be hard to read though cause of our "Chicken scratch" handwriting. Me: Ugh...Cocky, that was horrible. Cocky: Sorry, I've been reading a lot of Family Circus. I blame Not Me.
Dear Godfather and Cocky, I know you two are quite reknown for your sports handicapping. I am in a bet of a bind. I need some cash so could you tell me who I can bet on to win the World Series and the Super Bowl? Desperate in Lake Delton
Me: Well as you know my picks are much better than Jimmy the Greek. He only was able to pick 52% of NFL winners and I am up to 56%. Anyway my pick for the Super Bowl is the Minnesota Vikings. It pains me to write that because I detest that team with the mullet mascot on their helmet. I see no superior team in the NFL. As for the World Series, I am split between the Red Sox and the Cardinals. Cocky: Cardinals, huh? You are going for bird power now. Me: What are you talking about? Cocky: In the April 9th edition of our little column you picked the Red Sox and the Dodgers for the World Series. Backing off since your boy Man-Ram is a druggy? Me: No, I am just seeing how the season has played out. Cocky: OK, Desperate....don't listen to this loser. The Super Bowl winner this season will be the Eagles or the Cardinals. And of course I will remain bold with my St. Louis Cardinals winning the World Series. Me: How fowl!
Dear Godfather and Cocky, I've been wracking my brains trying to figure out just exactly how one manages to steal the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Can you please tell me where in the world Carmen San Diego is so that I might ask her? Thief in Thiensville,
Me: Such a masterpiece of art would most likely crumble should anyone try to remove it from where it is. I think you and Ms. San Diego should just let it be. Cocky: Too late. I got dibs on that one. Me and some chicks pulled a heist once, and let's just say the "Mona Lisa" you see there, is actually an elaborate copy maid out of dyed chicken feathers. As for Carmen Sandiego, any fool can find her with the handy internet device known as Google Maps. She's hiding in the basement at 579 Lake Street in the town of *flowerpot falls between myself and Cocky* Me: We must be getting closer Cocky: Oh my god, you are such a nerd.
OK, I plan on timestamping this. I am warning you ahead so if you are a challenged Xangan and don't understand the mysticism behind the dreaded timestamp, DO NOT BEGIN TO BELIEVE THAT I AM HARASSING YOU! I just want all people to enjoy the wisdom I dispense with my cock.
If you have a question for myself or Cocky you can either email here at Xanga or at advicewithcocky@gmail.com.
Here it is...motivation. I need to motivate myself to actually try to sleep. It has been nearly impossible the last few days. I have no clue what is going on. Part of it may be because of one of my cats. Once I turn off the lights she become the devil. A few nights she made her way to the top of my gun cabinet and pushed up the descended ceiling panel and got her head stuck. Now I have put stuff on top of the cabinet and last night she kept knocking it over onto herself. Then she claws under my bed. I looked underneath and she had her claws dug into the box spring and was walking on that. I yell and she runs to a window and starts to claw her way up the curtains. Then my alarm clock goes off she is right in my face. I watch her while I type this and she is laying in front of my amp. I want to turn it on and up to 11 and play a power chord in a power stance. Thankfully I have been getting naps...now that I think of it, I may be turning into a cat because I sleep 20 minutes here and there and can sleep anywhere. Ugh...time for motivation.
You had better be motivated now! One of these takes me back to my days of teaching...you think it is the booty one...no, its the Fuck one. I once was teaching a unit on World War I and I taught the students about Ferdinand Foch(don't know him? look him up). Well the test came and I made the students write essays on their test. This one kid who had spelling problems made me piss my pants, figuratively (hey I'm a teacher so don't expect none of this "literally" bullshit). He wrote about the great Ferdinand Fuck. The whole essay it was Fuck. My favorite line was the last line. "Fuck was good."
I am thinking it is time for the return of me talking with my cock. He's ready to unload...wisdom.
Chokin' and Tokin' was directed by Miguel Arteta and was written by Judd Apatow and Paul Feig.
Plot Summary: When Bill talks about being allergic to peanuts in class, Alan tries to prove he's lying but Bill ends up in the hospital after an allergic reaction. Lindsay smokes weed for the first time.
I don't know how many people would be willing to say they have experienced the Lindsay storyline but then again I'm not most people. So Lindsay wants to know what the big deal is with pot. I found a statistic from a government organization that said at least 69 million Americans have smoked marijuana AT LEAST once in their lifetime. People will probably say I am ignorant but I don't view it as being any worse than tobacco, especially with all the additives that Big Tobacco companies inject into the final product. I mean I have heard people use cigarettes for stimulants much like how some people use speed. I have smoked on an empty stomach and I felt wasted. So how about any of you? Have you smoked pot?
If you had read my posts, you would probably know that I went to two different high schools both of which were located far enough away from my parents home which meant at age 14 I moved out of the house. The first high school I attended closed after my freshman year. At that school I stayed in dorms. That school was so anti-smoking for students but not teachers. My academic counselor would smoke in his office. I had a meeting with him one day and he smoked. One of the tutors(adult supervisors) sniffed me as I walked into the dorm and gave me the third degree. "WHERE WERE YOU? WERE YOU SMOKING?" "No, I had a meeting with Professor(all our teachers were addressed as professor) So and So." "OK, go change your shirt." I kept myself in sports so I wasn't tempted but already in grade school I had indulged in unsavory activities. Anyway some of the best days of my life were at that school. We would go down to one of the train bridges that crossed the Mississippi, smoke a few joints and then dive into the river. Such a blast. My second high school wasn't as much fun because there weren't dorms. I stayed with two different families. The first was actually the principal and his wife but he died a week before school began so the school allowed his wife to continue living in the house until the end of the school year. Well she had no sense of smell so we(two other guys and myself) got away with murder in that house. Then I lived on a horse farm for my last two years of high school. The people there were a little hip to stuff because they had a college age daughter and a son that was two years younger than myself but we still got away with things.
I am just amazed how fast Nick "clears up". From what I gather in the series is that he is a serious pot smoker and then five days after he quits he is a regular jock. I love the trials and tribulations Lindsay faces when trying to roll her own joint. Then Lindsay has a freak out the likes of which I am thankful I have never experienced while smoking pot. Lindsay has to babysit and calls Millie who offers one of my favorite quotes of the series. I'll save that for the end. They have a discussion of theology which I find amusing.
The Bill storyline is great. They have dropped hints at Bill's allergies throughout the previous episodes but this time we go in-depth. I also like how we see how Bill develops a crush on the teacher, Leslie Mann the real-life wife of Judd Apatow. Bill also alienates his friends because of things he says about them in class. I really felt for Bill. The tension that is created in the geeks was supposed to be a storyline in the second season but thanks to NBC we may never know what would have happened. I also felt touched by Alan speaking to Bill in the hospital. Is it true that Alan is tormenting them because he is jealous and wants to be their friend? I doubt it because of the ending.
What to Watch For: Claudia Christian plays Bill's mom. She was somewhat of a object of nerd lust on the old Babylon 5 series. This is the first of her two appearances. We gather that she is a former stripper and that she was quite the partier while she was pregnant with Bill. Sam's mom makes the comment how that they didn't know much about pre-natal care when they were pregnant. It's amazing how health conscious expecting mothers are these days yet to me it seems like there are more food allergies. One school I taught at saw half the students in one class allergic to a variety of foods.
The boy who plays Ronnie, Alexander Gould, would go on to voice Nemo in Finding Nemo and currently he plays the son on ironically a show entitled Weeds.
Watch for the date opportunity for Sam and Neal. Well it wasn't intended that way. In a deleted scene it basically turns into a group outing.
Trivia: Lindsay looks up Marijuana in the encyclopedia at the Johnson's house and finds the entry located almost all the way at the back of the "M" volume. "Marijuana" should be very near the front since the second letter in the word is "A". (There's also only one "M" volume on the shelf so it's not likely that the rest of the M's are in another volume.)
Kate Jackson is seen in the brief clip from Charlie's Angels, and Harold expresses his appreciation for her. However, Jackson left the series after the 1978-79 season. I guess this doesn't really matter since Sam's favorite character is Bosley.
The show was cancelled the day after this episode aired. It was replaced with another episode of Dateline NBC which at the time meant that the show was on 3 times a week. Damn you, Chris Hansen! Paul Feig and Judd Apatow both have expressed their ideas as to why the series got canceled and both point to this episode. They think an NBC exec sat down to watch the episode with his family and there was the heavy drug story and they thought the entire series was like that.
Music: "Smokin'" by Boston; "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen; "Hi-De-Ho" by Blood, Sweat and Tears; "Aqualung" by Jethro Tull; "Little Green Bag" by George Baker; "Baby, Don't Get Hooked on Me" by Mac Davis
Quotes: Nick: What do people do when they're not stoned? Ken: I dunno. Relate to one another?
Mr.Rosso: How dumb do I look? Ken: Do you really wanna know?
Millie: You're high! Lindsay: How could you tell? Millie: I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Crofts concert last summer.
Well, here's the episode. It's sad to think that we only have 5 more left so ENJOY!
You know, people have said that I don't reveal much about myself in my blog. To that I reply, "Well you haven't read any of my posts of Freaks and Geeks. Oh and I'm doing some whoring, check out my Celebrity Round Up and some horrible photography.
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