Ugh...today was a sad day.  8 years ago the worst terrorist attack against American civilians on American soil transpired.  It was a sad day followed by mass hysteria, a hysteria which hasn't subsided.  I was set to write a longer post dedicated to the attacks but I got sidetracked today.  I went and had my hair cut and I ended up staying at the barber shop for an hour and a half just talking about life and the like.  After that I went to church.  No there wasn't a service but I went into the basement so I could be free of distractions.  I finally finished my next girl entry.  Yes, I said I had it finished earlier this week but I was so iffy on the ending.  Well I had it pop into my head after hearing a song and other stuff so I had to put pen to paper.  I finished and went home.  I ate some supper and then watched 102 Minutes on History Channel.  Well tomorrow I hope to get some more writing done but today I have to post this.  Dang, I also have to reply to comments in my previous posts.  Well anyway here's the round-up.  Warning some images may not be safe for work or life.

Like this photo of Sarah Jessica Parker is not safe for life.  Here she is in her flashback gear for the Sex in the City sequel.  I just can't believe that is what her character looked like over twenty years ago.  No make-up can help her.

Here's another NSFL photo.  Here is Kim Cattrall in her flashback gear.  It is so bad.  I am not convinced.  Who am I kidding this movie will be horrible but people will adore it!  I never saw the first movie and I have seen about 15 minutes of the show.  So maybe I have no clue what I am talking about.

Here's a little something for the ladies.  It's nice to see that Ron Jeremey still has "it" after all these years.  "It" is not a foot-long hotdog in his pocket; he's just happy to see you.

Raquel Welch turned 69 this week.  God Bless America, land that I love.  Stand beside her, and guide her through the night with a light from above.  From the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans, white with foam.
God bless America, my home sweet home.

Who knew Tilex could get rid of nether cooties?  NETHER COOTIES...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I think with Paris Hilton's outbreak that it would take a little more than Tilex.  Napalm would be needed.

You do realize there comes a time in a man's life when he questions his former spank material.  Oh and Pamela Anderson's recent PETA ads were pulled because they were supposedly too raunchy but in actuality little children were frightened by her face.

Speaking of being frightened by someone's face...those lips.  Octo-crazy wanted to be at Michael Jackson's recent burial service.  She went so far as to write a letter to Jackson's mother asking for permission to attend.  Octo-crazy said that she was his soulmate because they both loved children.  I think the only reason she felt so close to him was because Michael was a bigger threat to the welfare of children in the state of California.

Nicole Richie gave birth to a son this week.  She and her significant other, Joel Madden, named their son Sparrow James Midnight Madden.  Sparrow James Midnight was welcomed to the Our Parents Hate Us Because They Gave Us Shitty Names Club by Kal-El Cage, Pilot Inspektor Lee, and Moxie Crimefighter Jillette.  Wow...Sparrow James Midnight...that will be a great name for when he turns goth.

Milla Jovovich posed nude for a French magazine.  Lily Allen posed nude a few weeks ago for a different French magazine as did Sharon Stone and Kate Moss.  Why are all these women posing nude for French magazines?  I GOT IT!  The Beret!  Nothing exudes raw sexuality like the beret.  I need to get me a beret because then I can start my production company. 

Michael Moore debuted his new movie at the Venice Film Festival.  I believe it is called Calories: A Love Story...wait that's Capitalism: A Love Story.  My fact checker is on vacation.  I didn't mind some of Moore's work but after Bush was elected he went off the deep end.  By the way, in the time it took you to read this and think of how you were going to applaud me or disagree with me, Michael Moore ate an entire large pizza.

Michael Bay was spotted coming out of a restaurant with this prostitute looking woman.  Maybe he took her for an audition.  Yes, it was an audition because look at her face.  She is trying to be cast as a twin for Megan Fox.  Her name is unknown but look for her in Transformers 3.

I am confused.  Is Beth Ditto trying to look like Little Orphan Annie or the goddess that was Divine, if you don't know Divine then you don't know John Waters.  Check out Divine's duel role in the original Hairspray and then you may understand why they cast John Travolta as a woman in the musical remake.  OK, back to joke.  Maybe Beth Ditto was a secret love child between Divine and Little Orphan Annie.  Anyway, Beth was on her way to judge a drag show in London which probably means she was trying to channel her inner Divine.

Lindsay Lohan recently posted these photos on her Twitter because she claims to be such a huge True Blood fan.  Well she is a blood sucking leach so I guess it is appropriate.  She probably got those fake teeth at Hot Topic because that store is so cool.  Either that or she went to the local Dollar Tree and checked out their Halloween section.

GOD TWITTER IS AWESOME!  I think Lindsay's crotch was burning for a different reason earlier this week when these were posted on Twatter...typo stays.  I think she is still in love with Sam but Sam cheated on her or is with a different person.  I am not fluent in crack-whore-ese.  Maybe I should follow Courtney Love on Twitter so I can have her translate.

Lily Allen posed for GQ UK.  She was named Woman of the Year by that magazine.  I concur, she is woman of the year.  My heart is racing...and that makes me sound quite masculine.

Jenna Haze hit the beach this week.  I bet you can't guess what she does for a living.  She's giving you a clue, just look at her mouth.  So she was in Maui this week and ironically half of Maui was in her by week's end.  That gets the rimshot of the week....HEY I SAID RIMSHOT NOT RIMJOB....PLEASE DON'T GOOGLE THAT

Lady Gaga posed nude in a bondage motif for the Japanese issue of Vogue.  And she also wore whatever it was while leaving a radio station.  One of these days she will shock us by wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt.

Sometimes I wonder how Katy Perry got so famous.  I mean she isn't the greatest singer in the world.  Then I saw this photo and it was quite obvious.

Katherine Heigl is set to adopt a 10 month old baby girl from Korea.  She made that announcement on the Ellen Degeneres show so that people wouldn't think Katherine steals babies.  Those are her words, not mine.  Either way, I will not mess with her.  It looks like it is feasting time.

Kate Gosslein was offered $400,000 to pose nude for Playboy.  Sadly she said no.  Actually one of her handlers said that when Kate saw the offer she tore the letter and threw it in the garbage because she wouldn't want her children to think she was a horrible woman...she lets TLC do that.  Lately it seems like any woman that is mentioned in the news, Playboy offers them a nude pictorial.  Let's hope Rosie O'Donnell stays out of the spotlight.  That has me thinking...Playboy has done Women of Walmart...Women of Starbucks...Women of something or other...how about a Women of Xanga?

Here's something for the ladies.  I wonder if women would go after Jeremy Piven even if they knew he has sex with anything that has a pulse.

Holly Madison makes it too easy.  You know after Playboy does the Women of Xanga, they need to do a pictorial of women eating pickles and ice cream cones...yeah, ice cream cones.

Ellen Degeneres is set to replace Paula Abdul as the fourth judge for American Idol.  She is supposedly going to provide the contestants with the regular viewer's perspective.  Yes, Ellen and I are both alike: we're both multi-millionaires, we've both had HBO comedy specials, and we have both slept with Portia de Rossi.  Ellen may have to wear a fake beard so we can tell the difference between her and Ryan Seacrest.  Here's the kicker, Ellen was offered 10 times the amount of money they offered Paula Abdul to stay.  I bet Paula is seething.  Better lock up all the pharmacies in the tri-state region!  Oh well, Paula is set to have her own stage show in Las Vegas and she told reporters that she thinks she will set record attendance numbers and outdraw Cher and Barbara Streisand...yeah, she's on drugs.

Chris Brown is one of 25 performers that is set to take part in a Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna.  And you probably know where I am going with this...I hope the song he pays tribute to Jackson with is "Beat It".

I wonder at what age Britney Spear's children will realize that they don't have two African-American fathers nor do they have a Costa Rican mother.  I called my bookie in Vegas and put money down on age 10.

This whore, Tila Tequila, had her boyfriend, Shawn Merriman of the San Diego Chargers, arrested for choking her and restraining her.  He claims that he never choked her but did restrain her because she was trying to drive away from a party and she was drunk.  When she was examined by a doctor, the doctor said there were no visible signs she was choked.  It's just Tila practicing her whore-jitsu once again.  The

Then the twitter went wild.  Tila mounted her defense on Twitter.  She is lying.  She is actually a prolific drinker.  That can be seen in her reality series and any interview she does for Maxim.

Tila, the whore, posted a link to this photo hours before she was supposedly choked and restrained.  Hmmm last time I checked the urban dictionary, getting tipsy meant drinking.  Hell that is what my mom calls drinking.

Tila posted all these tweets on Twitter.  For some mystical reason, possibly because of whore-jitsu, all of these tweets disappeared from Twitter.  You should read those messages and then re-read her comment about being allergic to alcohol.  It's quite funny.

Tila showed up to visit the District Attorney in San Diego.  After the meeting she showed off all her bruises to the paparazzi.  Well her Twitter defense strategy and the fact that Shawne Merriman had dozens of witnesses that say he did no harm her and that she was trying to drive drunk and a bar owner that said Tila was visibly drunk when they were in the establishment did not help.  I wonder how Twitter is going to play in legal cases.  It's horrible to think.

Video Section:
George Clooney was at the Venice Film Festival promoting his new movie, Men Who Stare at Goats, when he was asked a strange request.  You know George wanted to say yes.

When you get your cell-phone and choose a password, never select 1234.  That's too easy.  Wel Lindsay Lohan's phone was stolen and her voicemail password was 1234.  Take a listen.  See if you can spot when Sam calls or when her dad calls.

Lindsay Lohan Voicemails from ANIMALnewyork.com on Vimeo.

And finally here is some good old fashioned Alanis Morrisette as sung by Britney Spears.

Well, I hope everyone has a swell weekend.  I'll be back later.