Another week has passed and it's time for another round-up.  Here we go.  Some images may not be safe for work or for life.

Zooey Deschanel married Ben Gibbard of the band Death Cab for Cutie.  I bet the reception sucked.  If you watch Top Chef like I watch Top Chef and remember the Top Chef Masters edition then you would remember that Zooey is a vegan.  I'm not saying I hate vegans; I'm just saying that the proper way to celebrate a wedding is to tear into a slab of meat.  Oh and Willie Nelson was there because he loves weed.  I suppose that's vegan.

Victoria Rowell, star of The Young and the Restless, wore this dress to the Emmys.  The first thing I thought when I saw it was, "Is she pregnant with the president's head?"  Then it dawned on me.  She borrowed that dress.  She borrowed it from Glenn Beck because you know he loves wearing that dress for his crossdressing weekends.

I wanted to post two photos of Victoria Beckham before she disappears.  She is almost transparent.  Oh wait, she claims that she is extremely healthy because she lifts weights five times a day.  Oh I suppose "lifting weights" is what they are calling vomiting these days.  Lifting weights?  Only if the weight is a matchstick.  She needs to head to the nearest Old Country Buffet and do some weightlifting there, preferably with a fork.  You know you have to get up and walk to get your food and drink so I guess there is your cardio.  I should so be a trainer.

Tara Reid once said that rehab saved her life.  Here we see her celebrating Oktoberfest in München.  I see that rehab is doing her well.  I think rehab is sort of like how prison basically teaches inmates how to be better criminals.  How many of those do you think Tara could toss back?  The over/under is 25 and I would go with an over probably at 57.

Sophia Loren turned 75 this week.  Yeah...my grandfather, the character of whose exploits I have shared, was very fond of Sophia.  He had many pin-ups in his leather repair shop.  Sophia's were right next to Bettie Page posters.  I miss those days.

Scott Baio turned 48 this week.  Thankfully he lost that hair style years ago.

Randy Quaid and his wife skipped out on a hotel bill that reportedly exceeded $10,000.  Who are the real criminals here?  The cult leader looking Quaids or the hotel owners?  I say the hotel owners.  They charge for the basic human necessities such as shelter, bathrooms, bed, hot stone massages, and lobster thermidor.  This must be stopped!  The Quaids, even though they didn't pay their hotel bill, made bail so I guess all Holiday Inns should be on the lookout.  I think Randy had better take Cousin Eddie's lead and get an RV.

You know, I really heart Pink's new attire that she has been wearing for her concerts.

Paris Hilton is working on a new album despite her first album bombing.  I have to admit one of my guilty pleasures: I have two of her songs on my mp3 player.  With that being said, I think Paris should stick to what she is best at: shopping, attention-whoring, eightsomes, and biological outbreaks.

Pam Anderson is a deadbeat.  There I said it.  She owes one contractor $1.2million for work he did on her mansion.  She also owes the state of California $250,000 in back income taxes...is it any wonder that California is paying people with IOUs?  Pam also owes the dumpster company that hauled away the trash from her mansion's makeover $7000.  Years ago, when Pam Anderson needed to pay people she gave them an option, cash or condoms.  Since that was many years ago and also because of the ravages of Hepatitis C, most men are declining the condom payment option.

Did you know that Tim Burton was originally tagged to direct the Superman Returns movie?  Did you know that Nicolas Cage was set to play Superman?  Well it all fell through and just this week Tim Burton posted some of the test shots of Cage as Superman.  I've been thinking about this but honestly Nicolas Cage as Superman and Tim Burton directing couldn't have been any worse than the actual Superman Returns movie.  It sucked horribly and thank god no one wants anymore.

Miley Cyrus posted this on her Twitter.  She misspelled 22% of the words but you have to give her credit since she hasn't been in school since she was 7 years old.  We should be praising her for not eating glue.

Megan Fox's new movie Jennifer's Body bombed at the box office this week.  It was beaten out by a movie whose title sounds like a porno movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.  Who knew that this movie would be crap?  Oh yeah, everyone. 

Oh my God, Megan Fox got so depressed and put on a lot of weight...wait that's Marilyn Manson, shockingly similar.  Anyway, Marilyn Manson announced that he has swine flu.  He also said that the doctors said that is wasn't transferred from any of his past choices in women.  Hey, he was with Dita von Teese.  I hate you Marilyn Manson.  I think the only way that I will contract swine flu is if it is contractible through chocolate covered bacon wrapped pork chops.

Mackenzie Phillips revealed that she had a ten year consensual sexual relationship with her father John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas.  She also stated in her book that he gave her heroin and that she had a pregnancy scare.  It was either her father's child/grandchild or her boyfriend's so instead of waiting to see, she had an abortion.  Could all this be California Dreamin'?  I hope, but other family members are coming out to say they knew of this relationship.

Here we see Katy Perry getting adjusted while shooting a new music video.  What I want to know is HOW THE HELL DO I GET THAT JOB?

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian were at the Emmys last weekend.  Since when do they need fluffers at the Emmy award ceremony?

Khloe "The Hulk" Kardashian and professional basketball player Lamar Odom are getting married this weekend.  They have only dated about a month.  Hey, Prop 8 supporters, you win!  Or maybe you lose...I don't understand the schematics.  There are only four possibilities for The Hulk getting married after a month of dating: 1. She's pregnant  2.  She needs the money  3.  She needs a green card  4.  She needs publicity for a fledgling reality show.  So which one is it?  I think it is a combination of 1,2, and 4 because she is an American citizen.

Kevin Federline, or the new nickname he goes by these days K-Well Fed, is sick of being called fat so he is set to join the cast of an upcoming season of Celebrity Fit Club.  Here's the twist.  One of his baby mommas is going to also be in the cast.  Not Britney.  The other baby momma, Shar Jackson.  Losing weight on TV in front of millions of people must be difficult and he just made it harder by having to lose weight in front of one of his exes or maybe it is an opportunity to rekindle an old flame.  Who am I kidding?  He looks like a skinny version of me.

Kanye West looks really enthused to be kissing his girlfriend Amber Rose but....excuse me Kanye, Amber Rose may be a great kisser but...oh wait I don't think she would want the world to know that I kissed her so I won't name her.

Amber Rose posed nude for Complex Magazine.  You know she really needs to ditch Kanye and I am single.

John Travolta finally admitted that his son who died was autistic.  This is actually huge because of their Scientology beliefs.  Scientology refuses to recognize autism as an actual affliction.  So the Travolta family blamed their son's problems on some disease which they believed came from toxins in their carpet.  Now they say it is autism.  They say that autism is nothing more than an affliction of degraded human beings and since it is a condition of the mind they will not treat it with any medicine.  So treatment goes against the tenents of the pseudo-religion.  I hate Scientology and the only person I feel sorry for is Jett Travolta because his parents were lemmings who didn't want to upset the higher-ups in their group.  That being said I also dislike when Christian groups will not allow their followers to seek medical attention.

Hey, Holly Madison, you are getting older.  Stop dressing like a little girl, you can no longer impress Hugh Hefner.  He is dating 19 year old twins.  You're a 29 year old, old maid so drop the candy and get on with life.  Wait...keep the lollipop.

Drew Carey recently made an announcement on Twitter that if you came to a restaurant at a certain time, he would buy your lunch.  He had so many people show up.  You know it is nice to see a celebrity be so charitable in this time of economic uncertainty.  And see...Twitter can be good, just if I lived in L.A.  Now if he truly wants to be charitable, he'll get me on his show and all I have to say is one word: PLINKO (of course it will be rigged for me to get the highest amount of money with every Plinko chip).

Paramedics were called to David Hasselhoff's residence this week after his 17 year old daughter called to say that her father was extremely drunk.  He was treated at the hospital for alcohol poisoning which would be the 5th time in the past few years.  I feel bad for his daughter.  She was the one who videotaped him lying on his bathroom floor all drunk and eating cheeseburgers.  David has claimed that he wasn't drunk but that his medicine that keeps him from craving alcohol mixed with medicine for an ear ache caused to act disoriented and unbalanced.  So I guess his daughter must have been drunk and gotten it all wrong.  Either way he needs to get off TV and into rehab...wait, it didn't work for Tara Reid, at least get him some help.

Christina Hendricks, star of Mad Men, was at the Emmys.  Dude, I would stare too.  She is so stunning.  She won a statue at the Emmys but I can think of one I would like to award her...sorry I'm suffering from a drought.

Chaz Bono signed a six figure deal to write a book about his(now) experience going through gender reassignment.  In this day and age people hardly read so they should probably do a reality series.  Oh they are?  Hopefully it won't be one of those VH-1 style dating shows.  Either way, I predict the show and the book will both be blockbusters.

Even though Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes movie has yet to be released, they have already signed to do a sequel with Brad Pitt signed on to play Moriarty.  You know, I may actually care.

Mark October 25th on your calendars because that is the day that Beyonce will be beheaded.  On that day she is performing in Malaysia and the Islamic leaders of that country are already condemning her concert because of her provocative nature.  They are worried that she may incite the crowd with her provocative dress.  Beyonce has said she has thought of wearing a burqa.  If she really wanted to incite the crowd maybe she should just express her opinion.

The sports most overrated star, Anna Kournikova is possibly pregnant.  Assistants said that she didn't participate in the recent Malibu Triathlon because she was two months along.  What does she see in Enrique?  Oh he had the mole removed which means he lost all his talent.  Anyway just expect more in a baby tidal wave amongst celebrities.  Sarah Michelle Gellar gave birth as did Julie Chen.  They don't get their photos because they named their children normal names.

My Boss and author of New Jersey's state song turned 60 this week.  I bet when he woke up on his birthday he was thankful that he was Born in the USA yet he longed for those Glory Days.  Then to calm his Hungry Heart he went Dancing in the Dark.  After that he took a ride in his Pink Cadillac on the Streets of Philadelphia to find a Secret Garden.  Maybe later on his birthday he went into a Tunnel of Love...OK that was a stretch.  OH MY GAWD....I AM A NERD!

Wel that is all for this week.  I hope you enjoyed.  Have a swell weekend.