I thought since there is all this focus on breast cancer and female Xangans are posting photos of their breasts, I would take a second and post a photo of my balls.

So here they are, my balls:

Like I would really post a photo of my testicles here on Xanga.

This is a story from a few years ago when I had a close call with what I thought was testicular cancer.  I felt a sharp pain in my groin and it went away so I thought nothing of it.  Anyway about two weekends later I was sitting around on a Friday night and I decided it was time for a self-examination of my testicles.  So maybe it wasn't really a self-exam but screw you for judging me.  It's not like you've never done that before.  OK I'm over it now.  I was "examining" and I found a lump on Ol' Lefty.  So I freaked out.  I was so scared.  Something like that isn't supposed to happen to a 25 year old guy (at the time).  I started worrying I would never have kids and I would lose my balls and women wouldn't want a guy who has no nuts and can't produce children.  I had visitors over that weekend and well I think I was a little withdrawn from them and seemed out of it.  I had a lot running through my mind.  I just couldn't talk about it.  I was thinking of going to the pastor for advice but how would I put it.  "Hey pastor, last night I was manipulating the ship's primary firing mechanism and I found a barnacle on the starboard side."  Yeah like that would happen.  So I went to the doctor while I was at home visiting my family.  While my parents went to the grocery store I snuck out and went to the clinic.  I almost chickened out when I saw the receptionist.  This knock-out blonde...how am I going to tell her I have a lump on my balls.  Well I told her that I had a skin condition that the doctor needed to check out.  The doctor saw me right away which was odd because usually a nurse pre-examines and a doctor just checks out.  He came in and I told him and he looked at it and said I had a cyst.  I was foolish and just felt the lump and didn't go further into my exam.  He said it wasn't cancer because it wasn't on the testicle.  Yes he pulled my satchel to show me.  He removed the cyst with a scalpel which was a little scary.  So he stitched me up with two stitches and everything was all swell.  He said that it was good that I examined myself and when I found something I went in.  The doctor also said and I quote "It takes a lot of balls to do what you did today." Apparently most guys just shrug it off and it's too late when they find it and they might have to lose Ol Lefty or Righty.  He also said that I should try to look at this with humor.  Yeah, I thought I wouldn't ever have kids and now I am thinking that the swelling might attract the females.  Guys feel your balls.  It's an issue.  I didn't even have cancer and it scared me.   Girls stop thinking about balls and examine your breasts.  Early detection is the key.  Sorry not to just focus on my balls but I do support the fight against breast cancer.  Just remember the words of Tom Green, who lost his balls:

Hey kids feel your balls
So you don't get Cancer
Hey kids feel your balls
So you don't get cancer
Feel your balls
Squeeze your balls
Tease your balls
Please your balls
Early detection is the key
Rub your balls and you won't get cancer
Hey kids feel your balls
So you don't get Cancer
Hey kids feel your balls
You don't want cancer
Rub your balls
Squeeze your balls
So you don't get cancer
MASTURBATE EVERYDAY!
Hey kids feel your balls
So you don't get cancer
Hey kids rub your balls
So you don't get cancer
RUB YOUR BALLS WHILE MASTURBATING!
Hey kids rub your balls,
While masturbating looking for lump
If you find a lump
Then go to the doctor
And get your testicle removed
RUB YOUR TESTICLES,
WHILE MASTURBATING OR WHILE NOT MASTURBATING!
Rub your balls for no reason
Other then for checking for cancer
Or rub your balls
Specifically for the only reason of
Checking for cancer
Or rub your balls
Only for pleasure
Or for pleasure and
For checking for cancer at the same time
You can pleasure your balls
And aslo check for cancer
At the same time
You can pleasure yourself
And also check for cancer
At the same time
TWO BIRDS, ONE STONE!
Pleasure your balls
And check them for
Cancer at the same time

Seriosuly, check yourself.

Previously on Freaks and Geeks: Pilot, Beers and Weirs, Tricks and Treats, Kim Kelly is My Friend, Tests and Breasts, I'm with the Band, Carded and Discarded, Girlfriends and Boyfriends, We've Got Spirit, The Diary, Looks and Books, The Garage Door, Chokin' and Tokin', Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers, Noshing and Moshing. 

Smooching and Mooching was directed by Jake Kasdan and was written by Steve Bannos and Paul Feig

Plot Summary: After fighting with his father, Nick moves out and to Lindsay's surprise begins staying with the Weirs. Cindy tells Bill that she has a crush on Sam. She asks Bill to convince Sam to invite her to a party.

This was another great episode...of course.  One of the things I love most about this episode is that Sam finally gets his time with Cindy Sanders but she turns out to be a horrible person.  I think the writers finally caved because they knew there would be no next season.  They actually wanted this to happen but it wasn't their intention to have it happen in the first season.  The storyline they wanted to explore in the second season is having Sam fall in with the popular crowd and distance himself from Neal and Bill.  The Sam and Cindy dating storyline is a bit rushed into two episodes but I suppose you have to take it or leave it.

I have heard people complain that Cindy would ruin her social standing by dating Sam but I don't think that was the case because Sam isn't picked on by the popular kids.  Sure he had Karen pick on him but no one liked Karen.  He also had Alan bully him but Alan was pretty much an outcast himself.  Also one of the things Cindy says to Bill pretty much seals that she isn't dating Sam for his person but the idea of Sam because he seems like a nice guy.  Also there is a deleted scene in which Sam asks if Bill and Neal can come to the party and Cindy gives Sam a look like he asked her to eat a piece of poop.  Sam panics about dating Cindy.  Come on, what guy hasn't panicked about a girl?  He asks Lindsay advice and she says that Sam should not smother Cindy.

Smothering...that brings us to the Lindsay storyline which is more of a Nick story.  Nick comes home one day after a garage sale to see that his 29 piece drum set is missing.  Nick tries to stand up to his old man, who reminds me of John McCain.  The old man hears none of Nick's arguments.  Nick moves out and starts crashing at his friends' houses.  Remember last episode when we saw what Daniel's room looked like?  Well Nick crashed there and ended up hurting his neck and having Daniel's mother forbid him from staying again for forgetting to flush the toilet.  Nick shows up at the Weirs' house at dinner time.  This reminds me so much of one of my stalkers.  He always shows up whenever I am cooking something special.  It never fails.  Two awkward scenes occur while Nick is at the Weirs'.  The first is when he dances with Mrs. Weirs to some Gene Krupa and the other is when he decides he has to thank Lindsay and he is wearing some bikini briefs.  So strange but it is a great story because you get to see how great of a father Mr. Weirs actually is.  He cares for his children and their friends.  I don't know many parents that would do that today.

The Neal and Bill at the party are hilarious especially when they play Spin the Bottle.  Maybe Bill and Neal are soulmates.  There is also an interesting scene with Bill involving a popular girl.  In the commentaries they talked about the second season that would never happen and they mentioned how Bill may have joined Sam in the popular crowd leaving Neal to wallow in self-pity and dealing with his parents divorce.

Things to watch for:  Cindy laughs as Sam makes quotes from The Jerk.  Remember this for the next episode.

This episode was written by Steve Bannos, who played Mr. Kowchevski. I always find it interesting that when actors write episodes for the shows in which they star, they almost never write a lot for themselves.  For instance, Michael Imperoli who played Christopher Moltisanti on The Sopranos wrote episodes which hardly featured his character.  In this episode there's no Kowchevski at all.

Samaire Armstrong who was in Dirty Sexy Money plays one of the Deadheads which sets up for the series finale.  Just don't blink when she asks to borrow a chair in this episode.

If you happen to grab a copy of the DVD you have to listen to the commentary.  In some of the deleted scenes there is a dreadfully long alternate take of the quiet study time at the Weirs' house.  Martin Starr who plays Bill starts asking Judd Apatow the gory details of childbirth.  Many of the things he asked were featured in the movie Knocked Up, written and directed by Apatow starring Seth Rogen with a role from Starr.

Another funny thing in the commentary is when Samm Levine, who plays Neal, said that the girl who played Cindy called him up after filming of this episode and asked if John Daley, who plays Sam, was supposed to be using his tongue when they kissed.  Daley denies that he did use his tongue but everyone disagrees.

There is a scene in which the geeks are discussing comedy movies and Sam brings up Stripes and how the only memorable part is the first half of the movie and then no one remembers the second half.  Neal rattles off a detailed plot description.  From what I have seen of the guy who plays Neal, I don't think that was scripted.

Bill and Sam kiss girls in this episode.  This means that Neal is the only geek never to kiss a girl in the series.  Paul Feig said in the commentaries that this was karmic payback because Samm Levine continuously hit on women during production of the series.

Music: "Tom Sawyer" by Rush; "The Monster" by Gene Krupa; "Katmandu" and "You'll Accomp'ny Me" by Bob Seger; "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" by Warren Zevon

Trivia: This episode aired along with "The Little Things" and "Discos and Dragons" as a Saturday night mini-marathon on NBC.

When Sam is going through his closet trying to find an outfit for the party, one of the outfits he rejects is the blue disco suit he wore in Looks & Books.

Quotes:
Nick Andopolis: Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess, meat?

Harold Weir: By the way, that drummer you're listening to...
Nick: Yeah?
Harold: He's terrible!
Nick: What? That's Neil Peart, he's the greatest drummer alive!
Harold: Well, Neil Peart couldn't drum his way out of a paper bag.

Lindsay: Dad, give me one good reason why there can't be a woman president.
Harold: It's called three irrational days per month. Now, I would have no issue with the other twenty seven, but we're talking about the atomic bomb here.

Well here's the episode.  We now only have to more episodes.  Enjoy!

I have to issue apologies because my guest blogger fell through today.  He may come back for another topic.