I tried sleeping but ended up tossing and turning.  Maybe I am anxious because I finally get to get out of here and go see my goddaughter who turned 1 this week.  Yes, I really am a godfather.

I've been thinking about my motivation post this week in which I posted pseudo-lesbianic porn.  Over the course of that day, I lost 2 subscribers.  AWESOME!  So apparently lesbian activity is wrong.  I don't get it.  When I was teaching in high school there was another teacher that I thought was awesome and we had such great conversations and had such similar tastes and political leanings.  Then I was sent to another church by my denomination and I heard some rumblings from the former school about this teacher.  Apparently she came out of the closet as a lesbian and divorced her husband.  I felt for her because she was obviously living a life that wasn't her.  She had to be in a fake relationship because of the "Church".  She was forced out as a teacher and excommunicated from her church, all this done in "love".  Did my thoughts of her change?  No.  I still had the same tastes and I wasn't about to go out and say "Oh my god a lesbian enjoys the same band as I do so I must burn all these books and cds and movies."  Well the most disturbing thing was that a facebook group appeared in which students and faculty members of that school thought it would be prudent to say they were gathering to pray for her soul so that she would magically "turn straight" and be a good and loving wife.  One girl in the group was a former student and I was so shocked by her messages on this site's board: OMG I can't believe she's gay.  That is so gross.  She's going to hell.  OMG.  Why can't she be straight and love her children?        Yes, that's what it said.  I was sickened because not long before this student asked me relationship advice.  "Mr. Godfather I got totally drunk this weekend and banged four guys none of which were my boyfriend.  What should I do?"  Why is it that drunkenness and heterosexual promiscuity are OK with Christians but homosexuality isn't?  I just never got why they focused on some issues when there were more pressing things going on like in my particular synod who embezzled millions of dollars almost bankrupting the synod or why are they shifting sex predators around from church to church without making them face justice and no this isn't the Catholic church of which I speak.  Oh and before I forget why spend thousands for commercials in California to get people to vote against gay marriage.  Yeah, you are facing bankruptcy and thinking of possibly selling your headquarters to raise money because it is in prime real estate areas and you can't pay teachers at the schools the synod runs so they are relegated to throwing garage sales to raise money to function.  Wouldn't that money be put to better use in mission fields by spreading the love of Christ?  I don't get the emphasis put on gay marriage and why it should be non-existant because straight marriage sure is doing a bang-up job.  What is it, 50% of all marriages end in divorcre?  By the way what constitutes a marriage in this country?  Every state has different definitions.  I know some states say that marriage is when a man and woman live together as husband and wife for 6 months.  Oh well I just hope none of my closeted friends who are in the ministry come out otherwise they may have to face love.

Did you know the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders have to take a test before they become cheerleaders?  I didn't until I was reading a recent ESPN magazine.  Hell the players don't have to take any tests but that is probably a good thing because it would expose how the education system favors the athlete.  I lived in Minnesota and a running joke amongst some of the sportswriters was Kevin Garnett's reading ability.  One claimed that the real reason KG went straight to the pros from high school was that he was illiterate.  I guess that would explain why on the SATs Garnett didn't get his name correct.  Anyway here are some of the test questions:
1.  Name the Six Flags of Texas:  No, it isn't an amusement park...give up?  I actually could answer this one if I was given the test.  I guess just having a basic knowledge of American history helps here...Spain, France, Mexico, The Republic of Texas, the Confederate States of America, and United States.

2.  Name two ex-Cowboys quarterbacks who are in the NFL hall of fame:  I missed this one since I detest the Cowboys, remember the 90s?  The Packers never made it through the playoffs because of those dope fiends.  In case you want to be a cheerleader the answer is Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach.

3.  Name a country that borders Iraq:  Seriously this is on the test.  I guess besides being sex objects the cheerleaders need to be up to date with current affairs.  Oh and don't lambaste me for say cheerleaders are sex objects.  Really, what purpose do they serve on the professional level?

4.  Who is the governor of Texas:  maybe this one should read "who will be the future president of Texas once they secede"  Rick Perry...I almost typed Steve Perry.  Steve Perry is just as important in that he is the ONLY lead singer of Journey.

5.  List three lean proteins: I guess they have to stay healthy

6.  In how many Super Bowls have the Cowboys appeared?  The funny thing is that of the 12 players that took the test only 1 got this question correct.  The answer is 8.

If only condom machines gave out this refund.

I knew there was no way K-Fed gained all that weight.  Honestly that is the best shirt ever.

I hold that tattoo in contempt of life.

I wonder if anyone can spot what is wrong with this photo.

States are having trouble with their budgets.  They can't fund all the animal shelters to house strayed and abandoned pets nor can they afford to put to death their prisoners.  Well this is a new execution method in which the states are trying to kill two birds with one stone.  The method is called "death by farting squad".

Hey are you down with my set?  Throw up this sign if you are rollin' with me.

More tomorrow.