I had a strange dream last night.  I was employed by some random university as a special tutor for athletes.  I got the position because I developed a friendship with the school's volleyball coach and they implemented one of my strategies.  Anyway the coach told me that two of their star players needed help with math and I had to get them to pass.  He handed me the textbook and I was flabbergasted to see that I was holding an 8th grade textbook.  The players couldn't meet at the school because of some sort of NCAA violations that could be levied against the school so they had to meet at my house.  I tried teaching them but these two extremely attractive girls kept goofing off and playing with my stereo.  I demanded they pay attention.  It worked for a few minutes and then I said that we needed to go to a room where there would be no distractions.  I took them to my bedroom.  Of course we all sat on my bed and they started learning until one of them eyeballed me and leaned over and whispered to the other girl.  They then started laughing at me and saying that I had a "boner".  It turns out the way I sat made my pants tent.  The girls kept laughing and refused to study.  I was fed up so I stood up and dropped my pants and shook my flaccid penis in their faces and screamed, "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A BONER?"  They calmed down and did their work and passed the class.  When I was shouting, that was when I was trying to wake myself up.  I never thought it was possible but I embarrassed myself in my dream.

Tuesday night is one of my favorite nights of the week as far as TV is concerned.  3 hours of The Office and Sons of Anarchy...comedy and motorcycle mafia...so awesome.

My cat is back to staring at my jackelope.

Here's your weekly dose of motivation:

Yes...volleyball but that is not why I coached.  I coached volleyball because...no one else would do it.

So my dad called and asked how to get his VCR to work.  I asked if the power was on...YES...is the TV on channel 3...YES...is the tape rewound..."Oh I didn't have the tape in, sorry."