So I am back at the library...well I was yesterday as well which is why those who commented on my last post got replies. The funny thing about the library across the street from my home is that I think they have more DVDs, CDs, VHS tapes, and audiobooks than they have regular books. Most everything I read lately, I have to put out a special order to have another library ship it. They only have two computers. You don't need a library card, just have to be over 18 to use the internet unless you have a parent's permission. Yesterday, I went to use the internet so I could attempt to reply to those who left me well wishes. The good thing is there are no "sex blocks" on those computers. I get over there and notice that two people are using them so I have to wait. I made small talk with the librarians and then a young Amish boy comes in and politely asks to use the Internet. Damn...the Amish are online. Immediately I began to think that I will have to go back and delete all my negative entries on the Amish but the librarian asked how old he was and apparently being 17 means you aren't able to handle the power of the mighty intertubes in my small Wisconsin town. There are people there that still can't handle going over 25 mph in their cars because they fear that their faces will be ripped by the wind. You know, it's too bad the Amish can't do the Electric Slide. OK, the two people that were on the computers...what is the best way to describe them...dirty white trash? That is about the best I can come up with. First off, I need to ask, who goes out in public wearing sweat pants that haven't been washed in ages and that are full of holes? I don't think these two people had showered in days, maybe weeks. The smell was rank. My eyes were watering. I know I don't smell like roses especially not after I cook chili but this was awful. I swear this was this mist of foul odors hanging about following the sweat pants clad people. They got up and the scent didn't leave with them. It was everywhere. The librarian came in and sprayed down with lysol while they were checking out. I don't think they felt embarrassed. Oh and remember when I said that my library has so many movies? Well the sweat pants posse checked out at least 30 DVDs. I guess a free DVD rental beats going to the store and renting one for one day for $1. Now I am back in La Crosse. I am thinking of checking out the minor league baseball team's headquarters and seeing if they need any help this summer. I have the perfect body for umping or coaching or drinking huge amounts of beer. They do have the all you can eat and drink section at their stadium called THE LUMBERYARD!(their team name is the Loggers). Oh great, it's snowing.
I think the people who hold up lighters at rock concerts are just too lazy to bring molotov cocktails.
Don't judge a book by it's cover, but do judge a person by their Facebook status.
A Matador *isn't* a Mexican door mat? No wonder that hombre got mad when I wiped my feet on him.
My pet turtle has been trying to break dance on it's back for three weeks now.
Try drinking a 5th of Dewar's and walking a straight line. Now THAT'S Hop-Scotch!
Being addicted to Oxycontin is what I call an "Oxymoron".
I'm certain that the song "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" is a reference to genital herpes.
I saw a show called "What Not To Wear". Easy, a condom.
I'd like to think that burning sensations are a subtle warning from God that you're a sinner.
I forgot to tell everyone my secret to growing tomatoes. The only reason I remember is because yesterday I had a conversation with my neighbor about it. I have found out that the secret to getting the tomatotes to get their reddest is to flash them. That's right; you go out to your garden and drop your pants and wave your willy at them and I think the reason they turn red is because they are blushing. Well one of my female neighbors saw me doing this and she asked what I was doing. I explained and she thought she may try that. Well running into her yesterday I asked how her garden turned out. She said that when she flashed the tomatoes nothing happened but she said her carrots were huge.
Frank Sintara Jr. played at my casino and afterward he had drinks in the bar. I had a drink with the chairboy of the board.
Xanga...you without me is like Harold Melvin without the Blue Notes...you ain't going anywhere.
Christmas season has really sucked. Last Monday my dad had his surgery to insert a fistula in his arm and a catheter in his chest. He had to have the catheter put in right away because the doctor deemed that it was necessary to begin kidney dialysis ASAP. So the very next day I had to haul him to the closest clinic that could get him in for dialysis and that was about 65 miles from my home. Last Tuesday I was going to take him in my Blazer however my car had other thoughts. I went to start it but it didn't start. My diagnostics said it was the starter. So I took my dad in his car and I roamed the city for Christmas presents. I get home later in the day and try to start my car but it wouldn't start and my thoughts were still on the starter. I figured that I could come online and look at a few places online to price one to save a few bucks. That didn't go as to plan because my computer wouldn't open up windows. Every time it was get close, the damn thing would reset. So the next morning I was supposed to take my dad to the dialysis place but I woke up with a horrible fever. It was 103. Luckily my aunt took him. I stayed at home and called a garage because I wasn't going to go out in the cold and mess around with my car. The guy comes with his wrecker and asks for the keys. I hand them over and he goes outside and starts it right up. Damn. He took it in and he said that the starter was shot as well as my battery. With those being replaced as well as a tow to the garage, I was out $435. The computer still didn't work so on Christmas Eve day a guy came and picked it up to work on it. I still haven't received any word on what was wrong but of course the holidays happened as did a bunch of snow and ice. Christmas was spent with my parents and aunt. Saturday and Sunday I spent figuring out how to use my presents without a computer. Today, while my dad is in dialysis, I am at a public library a few blocks from my old private school and the funny thing is that I have run into a couple of my teachers. Oh and when I tried to add a pulse on this computer, I was blocked from the pulse feature because it contained "sexual content".
I don't know when I am going to be getting my computer but it will be sometime. So I just wanted to give you an update on my life in case you cared. And I wish you all a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Rage Against the Machine is a band that formed in 1991 and the album that has influenced me is their 1992, self-titled album "Rage Against the Machine".
This album is the debut album from Rage Against the Machine(henceforth in this review referred to as RATM unless speaking of album title). RATM consists of Zach de la Rocha on vocals, Tom Morello on guitar, Brad Wilk on drums and Tim Commerford on bass.
Tom Morello was in a Los Angeles based band Lock Up and became disillusioned with the direction of the band. One evening he heard Zach de la Rocha doing a freestyle rap and was quite impressed. Morello asked Zach to start a band. Morello then got Wilk to play drums because he remembered him auditioning for Lock Up and Commerford was brought on board because he was a childhood friend of de la Rocha's. The band got together and worked on material most of which was written by de la Rocha. Their first performance was at a house party and soon after they made a demo tape which consisted of 12 songs, 2 of which were dropped from the final product but later released as B-sides.
The songs are heavily political. RATM were very political and in the liner notes they also had information about political activists such as Bobby Sands, Huey Newton, and Leonard Peltier. It's no wonder they are political given their name meaning that we should be raging against the government. This may have gotten them in trouble when FOX News got a hold of one of Zach's speeches that said that the Bush administration should be shot. Of course A. Cuntsworth Shitty Writer(Anne Coulter) said the band and their fans were losers and this was just another example of left-wing violence. The only level-headed person at FOX News, Alan Colmes, pulled out one of Cuntsworth's quotes about Clinton, "The only issue is whether to impeach or assassinate." And if there was any doubt about the political message of RATM, one should check out the cover of this album. The cover is a famous photo of Buddhist monk, Thích Quảng Đức, self-immolating himself to protest the oppression of Buddhists in Vietnam. The photo was posted in American newspapers urging President Kennedy to withdraw troops and sever relations with the Vietnamese government.
"Rage Against the Machine" was a smash hit and was certified as triple platinum(sold three million copies). RATM bascially invented a new sound with this album that was called "nu metal". It was heavy metal music but wasn't quite like the heavy metal music that people had experienced in the 80s. The album also has high production values. Tom Morello's guitar stylings are incredible and this album has placed him among the pantheon of rock god guitarists. I love how in the album liner they have a note that says that all effects were created with guitars and there were no sound effects, keyboards, or synthesizers used. Q Magazine listed that "Rage Against the Machine" is the Heaviest Album of All-time. The album is also included in the book, 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. Rolling Stone places "Rage Against the Machine" at #368 of the 500 greatest albums of all time.
RATM garnered a cult following and they released 3 other studio albums. Zach parted ways with the band to focus on his poetry and rapping. Tom, Brad, and Tim formed a new band with Chris Cornell of Soundgarden called Audioslave. RATM have reunited several times for performances and protests. One of their most heated reunions was at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, MN. They were not given a license to perform at a protest held a block from the convention so they walked amongst the protesters singing on megaphones. Tom Morello later said of the convention performance: ""Imagine if in Beijing during the Olympics a Chinese band whose songs were critical of the government was told they'd be arrested if they attempted to sing those songs in a public forum—there would have been an international human rights outcry. But that's exactly what happened in Minnesota. But this is a band that has made a living singing a song that goes 'fuck you, I won't do what you tell me,' so we weren't about to go back to the hotel with our tails between our legs. So we out-flanked the police line and went into the middle of the crowd, and played a couple of songs passing a bull horn back and forth, and it seemed to go over pretty well." And so you think they just aren't against Republicans, RATM performed at the 2000 national Democratic Convention. The city of L.A. refused to allow them to perform but RATM sued and a U.S. district judge allowed them to play outside the DNC but police surrounded the performance with a 12 foot high fence and patrolled on horses and motorcycles and wore riot gear.
RATM have joined in a tour with Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, The Roots, and R.E.M. called Rage Against Torture. These bands are campaigning for the closure of the Guantanamo Prison and are protesting that their music has been used to torture prisoners.
Track Listing: 1. Bombtrack This song is about social inequality and has been featured in the Oliver Stone movie Natural Born Killers. The music video is about the Shining Path Maoist group in Peru who are fighting for a new cultural revolution because the democracy in their country has brought about dictatorship. 2. Killing in the Name This song was the lead single for the album. The song is about how in the southern United States, many police officers have been linked to the Ku Klux Klan. Despite receiving no radio play or tv airtime, this song has become RATM's signature song. It is featured in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Jim Rome often uses it for bumper music on his talk show. The song has been cleaned up for Guitar Hero. It was covered by the greatest Lutheran cover band ever assembled, Refurbishing Cabbage. 3. Take the Power Back I often use this song to test my speakers and amps to see if they are working. The basic meaning behind this song is that in order for us to get the power back from the government we have to better educate ourselves instead of being ignorant and just bitching, PICK UP A FUCKING BOOK! Oh and this song is also used in Natural Born Killers. 4. Settle for Nothing There are rumors abou this song and how it is about Zach de la Rocha's childhood and gang affiliation. To me, it sounds like the plight of many inner-city youth and how they don't know their fathers because they are in jail or dead and they are doomed to repeat the same things as their fathers 5. Bullet in the Head The song is about how the government controls the media to control the population thus making no difference between the free and the prisoner. I love this song for Morello's use of the whammy bar and wah-wah pedal. 6. Know Your Enemy This is one of the few RATM songs that features vocals from some one other than de la Rocha. Maynard James Keenan of the bands Tool and A Perfect Circle lends his voice. Morello used a special switch on his guitar that turned on a special pick-up to make it sound like a synthesizer. It's interesting how much this borrows from the riff of Edgar Winter Group's "Frankenstein" 7. Wake Up This song was featured in the movie The Matrix and has been in several video games. This song was never released as a single but it has been a staple for live shows usually played as the last song. The message is simple: we need to wake up as a society. The song deals with racism. The spoken portion of this song is actually a direct quote from Herbert Hoover in how he suggests to supress black nationalism that the leaders such as King and Malcolm X be neutralized and the last lyrics are quotes of Martin Luther King Jr. During the live performances, Zach de la Rocha usually delivers political speeches during this song. 8. Fistful of Steel From Tom Morello's website "This song definately shows that Zack is great as an MC - and is generally dedicated to women in the audience as a sign of respect - not romantic affection." 9. Township Rebellion From Tom Morello's website "This song relates human freedom to the situation in South Africa. "Freedom should be fundamental: In Johannesburg, or South Central."" 10. Freedom This is my favorite track on the album. Zach's vocals are just amazing when he is singing and screaming, I get goosebumps, and because of the intensity is usually the last song that they would play when they toured this album. The song focuses on Leonard Peltier and the video examines the case the government brought against Peltier. The video also features a re-enactment of the incident on the Pine Ridge Reservation. If you watch the video you will see something odd. Drummer Brad Wilk is facing away from the audience. He had a habit of doing this. He liked facing the direction the audience was facing and he would have mirrors in front of him so he could see the audience as well.
Brad Wilk, Zach de la Rocha, Tim Commerford, Tom Morello
"Killing in the Name" has come to news recently in that a man in Great Britian so upset with their talent show promoted by Simon Cowell called X-Factor, started a facebook group asking Brits to vote for this song. Currently "Killing in the Name" is the number one song in the UK, a spot which has been usually reserved for the winner of Cowell's X-Factor.
I can't sleep. I think it is because I am stressed and nervous about Monday. My dad goes in for surgery. Last year in late November/early December he had what was considered routine surgery and the doctor f'ed up and almost killed him. They are calling this one routine. I don't believe there is anything that can be described as routine. Also to relieve stress last night, I went out to a bar. I didn't get plastered but had a few drinks and then got home at about 9 and slept for a long time and then this afternoon I took a three hour nap before kick-off. Horrible game.
This week's edition is a special holiday edition.
This mash-up contains "Bang a Gong" by T. Rex and a Christmas song called "Back Door Santa" . I like how this one flows, it's just amazing how well "Bang a Gong" fits.
This is a rather intense mash-up. It contains multiple Christmas carols mashed-up with multiple songs by Led Zeppelin. Merry Axe-mas from Jimmy Page!
I couldn't find the name of the Christmas song in this one but I still loved it because it isn't Christmas until you hear some AC/DC. There is nothing I love more in this world then sitting around the Christmas tree, watching the snow fly, sipping hot chocolate, and rocking out to "Ballbreaker"...Yes, "Ballbreaker"!
OK this may be the mash-up of the week. It is one of the strangest mixes I have ever heard. It takes a Christmas song by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and mashes it with "All the Small Things" by Blink 182. My description can not properly say how awesome this song is.
This little mash-up is a combination of "Christmas Time is Here Again" by The Beatles mashed with "More Than a Feeling" by Boston. That song by The Beatles has to be the most annoying song in their library yet it has a funny moment. I'll have to upload the original because Paul McCartney admitted later in life that when they recorded that he was enjoying some Christmas green...he was smoking the marijuana.
Oh and if you want more Christmas mash-ups, check out this site called A Very Bootie Christmas. It has two albums of Christmas mash-ups, some of which I used here. This website is Popbytes and the mash-up on this site is a Holiday Mix-Tape. I wanted to upload it to Xanga but it was 30mb. The final site is called Santastic. It has 4 albums of holiday mash-ups. The first two volumes of Santastic do not have mp3s to download or listen to, try volume 3 and 4 and the Christmas collection album.
Saturday I had a program at church and for presents I gave away those playing cards I got not too long ago. I forgot to include photos.
I had to show you comparisons to what all those cards looked like compared to two bottles of beer as well as my cat.
This is from a set of lessons I taught about the Bible. I know I will get attacked for this...oh well.
The last two chapters have dealt with figurative language in the Bible.An awareness of three additional kinds of special language forms will enhance our comprehension of Scripture even more.These three remaining forms ― the Old Testament type, the symbol, and Old Testament poetry ― are the subject of this chapter.
The Old Testament Type
The type is a person, event, office, or institution from Old Testament history which foreshadows its antitype ― a person, event, office, or institution in the New Testament.This type-antitype relationship can be compared to an object reflected in a mirror.Just as the object is more important than its reflection, so the New Testament antitype takes precedence over its Old Testament counterpart.This comparison to a reflection in a mirror should not, however, give the impression that Old Testament types were not real.Rather, history before Christ was controlled by God in such a way that it would be a reminder of promises he would fulfill in the New Testament.
An example of an even that was a type is found in Hosea 11:1: “When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.”When Israel was a young nation God called them from bondage in Egypt.Matthew shows that this event was a type of Christ’s sojourn in and exodus from Egypt as a young child.“So he [Joseph] got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son.” (Matthew 2:14, 15).
Romans 5:14 calls Adam “a type of Him who was to come” (NASB).That is in some respects Adam was similar to Christ.Both men greatly influenced all mankind.“For just as through the disobedience of the one man [Adam’s] the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man [Christ’s] the many will be made righteous” (Romans 5:19).While the extent of their influence was the same, the result was different. Adam brought sin and death; Christ brought forgiveness and life.
Another type is to be found in the story of the serpent of bronze (Numbers 21:4-9).Christ Jesus is the antitype (John 3:14-16) of that serpent.Christ’s sufferings on the cross parallel the serpent on the pole in several important areas:
Numbers 21:4-9 (type)John 3:14-16 (antitype)
Israel sinned.The whole word has sinned.
Israel was punished by snakesAll mankind is subject to condemnation
The bronze serpent raised on poleChrist raised up on the cross
Those who look at serpent livedBelievers in Christ have eternal life.
Just as there were likenesses between the serpent and Christ, so there were, of course, also differences.It is wise to note them, lest too much be made of the similarities.For one thing, the bronze serpent had no power in itself; it was the Lord who really healed the people.Christ, however, was no mere statue; he actually does have “all authority in heaven and on earth” (Matthew 28:18).Then, too, the salvation that Christ has won is infinitely greater than a mere prolonging of life on earth.
Symbols
Simply put, a symbol is a sign.In everyday symbols are used frequently.For example, a simple X marker along a road represents a railroad crossing.People have learned to recognize the meaning of the sign, even though it contains no writing.The X has become a symbol.Church art and architecture also contain many symbols.Every Christian recognizes the symbol of the cross.Seeing it reminds us of Christ crucified and everything contained in that message ― sin, suffering, love, forgiveness and salvation.A crucifix is that of a cross with the body of Jesus affixed and this serves as a reminder of the payment Christ made for the world.An empty cross is a visual reminder that Jesus is no longer on the cross but exalted in glory.Many churches also make use of the Chrismons.These Christmas tree ornaments all symbolize Christ in one way or another.Similarly the color purple has become a symbolic color in churches.It is used during Lent and Advent to symbolize the mood of those seasons, one of sorrow and repentance, and also to show our belief that Christ is our king.
The Bible, too, makes use of symbols.Biblical symbols are much like types.But whereas types are limited to representing the future, symbols can represent that which is past, present, or future.
A look at a few symbols will help illustrate this.Perhaps the most famous of all Biblical symbols is the rainbow.To the Christian it is more than water drops refracting and reflecting the sun’s rays.It is God’s promise never again to destroy the world by a flood (Genesis 9:12-17).
Sometimes the color white is also symbolic.It represents purity and victory.“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isaiah 1:18).At his transfiguration Christ’s clothes became as “white as the light” (Matthew 17:2).And the saints in heaven are “wearing white robes” (Revelation 7:9).
The name Jerusalem is on occasion a symbol of heaven.In the book of Revelation, John spoke of this heavenly Jerusalem, “I saw the HolyCity, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God” (Revelation 21:2).The hymnist was thinking of this symbol when he wrote the thrilling words, “Jerusalem, thou city fair and high, would God I were in thee!” (CW 212:1).
OF unique interest in the area of symbolism is the book of Revelation.This book contains John’s God-given vision of heaven.In 2 Corinthians 12:4 Paul relates his own special vision of heaven and states that what he witnessed was “inexpressible” in human words.Keeping this in mind, it is understandable that John uses symbolic language in much of Revelation.Since it is so heavily symbolic, this last book of the Bible should be interpreted in the light of the literal, easier to understand portions of Scripture.
Old Testament Poetry
As indicated in the first lesson, a large part of the Old Testament was written in poetry.This includes not only the so-called poetical books, but also sizable portions of the prophets and sections of the historical books.
Most people today tend to think of poetry in terms of rhythm and rhyme.Hebrew poetry, however, consists of a balance of thoughts more than of words and sounds.Such balance is called parallelism.This means that one line in Hebrew poetry parallels the next.
Unfortunately this poetry has often been lost in English translation.It is good to see that some of the newer translations of Scripture have printed the poetical sections in verse form.As will be seen, this is a great aid in capturing the feeling of the original Hebrew.The New English Bible, the New International Version, and the Revised Standard Version are three translations that have this commendable feature.
There are three main kinds of parallelism.The first is called synonymous and expresses the same thought in two or more different ways in each verse.The second part of a verse echoes the idea of the first.Here are a few illustrations of synonymous parallelism:
O Lord, rebuke me not in they anger,
Nor chasten me in thy wrath! (Psalm 38:1 RSV)
For the Lord, the most high is terrible,
A great king over all the earth.
He subdued peoples under us,
And nations under our feet. (Psalm 47:2, 3 RSV)
Perish the day when I was born
And the night which said, ‘A man is conceived’! (Job 3:3 NEB)
The second type of parallelism is called antithetic.In such verses contrasting or opposite thoughts are placed side by side.Here are two examples:
For the wicked shall be cut off;
But those who wait for the Lord
Shall possess the land.(Psalm 37:9 RSV)
A soft answer turns away anger,
But a sharp word makes tempers hot.
A wise man’s tongue spreads knowledge;
Stupid men talk nonsense. (Proverbs 15:1, 2 NEB)
Synthetic is the term applied to the third variety of parallelism.In reality this is not true parallelism, for the balance of thought is lost.This category might be considered a catchall for what cannot be fit into any other classification.In synthetic parallelism the thought which begins a verse is continued or expanded through the rest of the verse.Some examples of this are:
It is better for a man to hear the rebuke
Of the wise
Than to hear the song
Of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:5 RSV)
O Lord, how manifold are thy works!
In wisdom hast thou made them all;
The earth is full of thy creatures. (Psalm 104:24 RSV)
All Old Testament poetry does not fit perfectly into the preceding categories.Yet a basic understanding of parallelism will lead to a deeper appreciation of Scripture’s poetry.
I am back for a few days. I doubt I will be around at the start of next week. I am thinking of submitting my last post but I guess my ignorance of how Xanga works is keeping me from doing that. Here all these years being here, I thought Xanga staff members scoured through all the pages searching for the material that gets posted on the front page. Oh and I have been reading Kerouac's "On the Road" and I've lightened up. It really is good and I am realizing how that the book can fit for any time period except of course the hitchhiking. It sort of reminds me of my cross-country journeys. Anyway before I turn this into a literary debate, and I know a few of you hate Kerouac, I'll get to the links.
#1. OK I have to admit, this Jersey Shore thing is really captivating me. I have yet to see a full episode. I'll watch 10 minutes here and there because MTV shows it all the time. Anyway, here is a link to a Jersey Shore name generator. My Jersey Shore nickname is "The Body". Now I doubt that means I have an excellent body but is more of a reference to all the one's buried on my uncle's farm...what...just forget about it.
#2. I saw this post from Mental Floss over on Facebook. The Croatian Sensation was saying that a mutual friend had to have posed with the Fonzie statue. That is something Schmicah would do...sorry, inside jokes. I just thought it was funny and wondered if anyone here on Xanga has posed with any statues.
#3. I enjoy Arrested Development, the early 90s alternative band and the TV show. This website deals with hidden jokes from the TV show. I keep hearing rumors that there is an Arrested Development movie in production but then I hear it gets called off because that little punk Michael Cera refuses to be a part of it and the creator won't do a movie unless the entire original cast is in it.
#4. I always get sad when I see flyers for lost and found pets. Well these lost and found posters make me laugh.
#5. Here's a collection of photos of people dressed as superheroes. What makes it so special? Well the people are overweight so that means the superheroes are horizontally challenged. I guess it is fitting since most comic book heroes are American and the majority of Americans are obese. There is a special superhero in that collection. Can you spot him?
#6. I found this list of the 25 most dangerous films ever made to be quite interesting. I think I have seen most of those films which would probably explain the reason why I act like I do.
#7. I really should have posted this at Halloween but I was probably lazy and not doing link posts. Anyway here is a collection of Halloween costumes. The costumes are produced through body painting. They seem like such hot costumes or cold depending on how you look at it.
#8. When searching for mash-ups I came across this fun site called That Song Sounds Like. They find songs that sound very similar and and post them together. I think the best evidence is a comparison of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Tom Petty. I can't believe Petty hasn't sought legal action but then he is probably raking in money from being on King of the Hill or he is just too stoned to care.
#9. As you probably have deduced by now, I enjoy the site, Mental Floss. Well here is another list from Mental Floss. It is the original names of classic TV shows. I am surprised that That 70s Show went by different names. I guess the story of how a FOX executive referred to it as "that 70s show" in a meeting is an urban legend.
#10. Walmart has every day low prices and good old fashioned censorship. Besides not allowing their workers to join unions, Walmart has also banned numerous products from their shelves. Here are 11 such items. I am sort of glad they got rid of Maxim magazine. It was really unnerving seeing a group of adolescent boys standing in the book section reading Maxim and crossing their legs.
#12. I don't know...this website could be considered pretty tasteless. It's called g2gbrb. The premise is they post what they expect the last text message or twitter post a person would be before they die.
#13. This is a fun website. It's called Mystery Seeker. The premise is that you enter something into a google search but you get the thing the person before you searched for. I searched for "Bible trivia" and received "I learned to play the gi-tar real good".
#14. I like fortune cookies. Sometimes the fortunes are a little lackluster. Here is the best fortune cookie ever.
You know, maybe I should emulate Kerouac and start blogging like him. I just have to find some Benzedrine. I was looking through a few of my older posts and realized I had to be on something back in the fall of 2006.
I just saw another post on Xanga speaking of one of these pops so I got to thinking about different pop or for those of you who no habla Wisconsinite soda. There were so many kinds I used to drink. I lived for pop long before I was able to gorge myself on beer. Many of my favorite pops as a kid and a young adult have since gone the way of the Dodo; disappearing into oblivion. Sometimes a few make it back for another life, but many have faded away only to survive on Ebay and web sites. Enjoy them here, while they last.
10. Coke II
So, back when Coca Cola started to slump a little in sales to its fiercest competitor, Pepsi Cola, someone made the executive decision to dink around with Coke’s secret formula thereby making it taste more like, well, PEPSI. It wasn’t bad, per se , but it sure as hell wasn’t Coke. I remember how horrible this stuff was and how much I missed the old coke but the new innovation it brought was the plastic two liter bottle, "you take the good, you take the bad". This was an early eighties disaster and it always managed to make an appearance at our sleep-overs and it did a fine job of keeping us wired for hours. I think it had more sugar as well. I really do miss this stuff, but sadly, when Coke went back to its ‘Classic’ formula permanently, Coke II disappeared into soda oblivion.
9. Hubba Bubba
The strongest memory I have of Hubba Bubba Soda is from grade school. We, in the ass-backward, dirt-water, hole that is rural Wisconsin seemed to drink this stuff by the gallon and as children had our own drinking games involving this gum pop. One of the ‘games’ was the infamous ‘Pop Chug’. Everyone would stand over a beach towel with a ’spotter’ on one side and commence to gulping as much warm Hubba Bubba Soda as humanly possible. Loads of fun. I was never a big fan of this gum-flavored pop because whenever I seemed to drink it I always got a migraine, but it does hold certain high esteem in my clogged memory bank.
8. Pepsi’s Wild Bunch
Just in case the images aren’t clear, we’ve got: Raging Razzberry, Tropical Chill, and Strawberry Burst. I love how Raspberry is cleverly misspelled into ‘cool’ territory with the two ‘Z’s. Very nice. Anyway, The deepest remembrances I have of this particular trio was the chilling innards of my grandparent’s ancient refrigerator on their back porch. It was one of those ‘chill chest’ types with the giant metal walk-in-restaurant-freezer style of handle and enough wattage to cause neighborhood brown outs. Yeah, that thing was always chock full of every conceivable beverage from beer to Bosco . Every time we’d visit we’d try to find the most odd drink we could dig out of there and I quite fondly remember tossing back a few of these guys. Dead and gone now. yes, my grandparents, this pop, and my childhood but I still have the refrigerator which will never die.
7. Surge
Though not out of circulation as long as some of these, Surge has still become a classic to many a pining American. Coca Cola distributed this green soda for quite some time. I can remember it coming in to its own right around 1995 or so, and really building up steam for a few years before succumbing to the popularity of other, weaker, beverages. It had a citrus-like flavor to it but there was something almost lime-Jell-O-ish in the back ground that would always leave a little tang phlegm at the back of my throat. But it was pretty tasty and I could knock back a 2 liter in a sitting no problem. Almost, but not quite, melted candy. It was banned in certain counties near my high school because of the high sugar content. It was astonishing seeing people rush the grocery stores with carts filled with Surge. I simply think this stuff liquid crack.
6. Canfield's Chocolate Fudge
I couldn't find an image for this particular drink but I hold it in high regard. My babysitter used to have a refrigerator filled with Canfield's Chocolate Fudge. Imagine taking a piece of chocolate cake and blending it with seltzer water until it was pure liquid. This drink too gave me migraines but that was the price I had to pay to have this delicious concoction enter my system. When the Diet Chocolate Fudge came out it was disaster. It was horrible and then they changed the artwork on the can and it was supposed to be a chocolate bar but it looked more like a giant turd, and with that I stopped drinking chocolate soda.
5. Josta
This was a pretty recent extinction as well. I remember drinking a few of these back when Guarana was the new kid on the beverage block being marketed by Coke as the energy source of choice. Josta was so chock-full of the stuff you could, in fact, taste it. It was a tad medicine-y, but that flavor was nicely buried beneath the strong fruit and spice overtones that assaulted your taste buds moments before. This pop was far different taste wise than just about anything else out there, and it was pretty decent while it lasted.
4. Orbitz
Oh yeah, soda with little chewy chunks in it. Outstanding. Somehow, the creators of this beverage managed to thwart the normalcies of science by allowing starch nuggets to suspend themselves ever so beautifully in a super-sweet solution. It was really good, too. I remember Target selling the hell out of this stuff for quite a while. I enjoyed the drinking part, but somehow, coming to the little lumps floating there in was a lot like drinking a glass of gravy… except a lot sweeter.
3. Kick
Kick was a lot like the bastard step-son of Mountain Dew and Mello Yellow. It tasted really similar to both, but almost leaning a bit toward Mello Yellow with its citrus overtones. I actually preferred it over either and would go through a case of this stuff during my late night Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathons. To me is was the poor man's surge. Sort of like Sam's Club's Dr. Radical or Mountain Mist. I have heard that Kick is still on the market but alas I can never find it.
2. Slice
Slice was the precursor to Sierra Mist by the Pepsi corporation and for my buck, it tasted a whole lot better. My grandmother, in her massive fridge of holding, used to keep a constant supply of the Mandarin Orange flavor of this stuff. I hate mandarin oranges in any form, so I stuck to the lemon-lime standard and all was good with the world. There was something less overpowering about Slice as compared to 7-UP; not quite as crisp, not quite as effervescent, but certainly just as tasty. The absolute best thing in the world was Dr. Slice. The Pepsico attempt at Dr. Pepper. Too bad it never caught on.
1. Crystal Pepsi
I was in grade school in 1993 and this soda was a huge hit in Wisconsin. The selling price was less than any other cola and I remember getting cases of Crystal Pepsi at the local Kickapoo(yes, Kickapoo, we honor our native Americans around here by naming gas stations after them but then they got bought out by Kwik Trip) for at least $1 cheaper than regular Pepsi. I honestly loved this stuff, I would drink the HELL out of a few packs per week. I loved this stuff and another fun fact was that it never exploded if you shook it before you opened a can. One time to prove my point I threw a can on my roof so that it could roll down and prove my point. Well the can got caught in one of the eaves. I didn't get the can out a few months later. No I didn't taste it. This pop also introduced me to Van Halen. Yes, the whole marketing campaign revolved around Van Halen's "Right Now". Anyway, there was just something about the non-caramel colored Pepsi that really appealed to me. I miss this the most of all.
Honorable mention: Pepsi Free (with the pink can and blue balloons) Tab (now an energy drink for women) Coke Blak(coffee flavored coke) Bawls(an energy drink with a funny name) Donkey Kick (energy drink sold at Super America gas stations, every time I bought a can I laughed because I wanted it to be Donkey Punch but they did have another flavor and that was Rooster Booster, I always had images a liquid Viagra with that one) Jolt(hard to find in Wisconsin because of sugar and caffeine content, the best is the mountain dew style Jolt) Cheerwine(Cherry flavored pop that tasted like sparkling wine) Manazita Sol (Pepsi apple pop. I have only seen it in stores twice since it was released) Pepsi Fire and Ice (The "fire" was cinnamon Pepsi and the "ice" was a mint Pepsi) Pepsi Blue(this was another berry/cola infusion that somehow never took off) Sprite Tropical Remix (three different styles of infused Sprite, one was berry, one was cherry and one was tropical) OK Soda (Hilarious TV ads from Coke. Tried to appeal to Gen X. Had unique comic book style cans) Citra (Coke's answer to Fresca or Squirt) Red Fusion by Dr. Pepper(it was their first attempt at a cherry flavored Dr. Pepper but from what people say it tasted like Cherry Nyquil) Lifesaver Pop(yes, Lifesavers got into the pop game. It came in five flavors and basically tasted like unfrozen Flavor Ice) 7-Up Gold (Actually a form of Dr. Pepper but put under the 7-Up name. Somewhat comparable to a ginger ale. Think spicy 7-Up) dnL (this was the upside down 7-Up. It was the opposite of 7-Up: caffeinated, green, and in a clear bottle) Tahitian Treat Element Rain (Produced by Snapple, originally an agave cactus flavored juice, now an energy drink)
If anyone has any other pop to add to my list feel free to drop a line.
I'm going away for a few days so I won't be around Xanga that much. I have some business I have to take care of and all the health issues surrounding my family are all coming to a head. An aunt in Chicago is undergoing open heart surgery in the next few days, my dad is having surgery to insert a fistula in his arm so he can begin kidney dialysis, and today I am taking an aunt for tests at hospital about an hour from home. Anyway I just wanted to give fair warning. And I want to leave you with some wisdom.
There's no such thing as a free lunch unless you are willing to stab your waiter.
If time is money, why won’t my bank accept these rollover minutes?
I bet a good Christmas present for the Venus De Milo would be a vest.
Why Jack-in-the-Box when you can In-n-Out?
All's fair in love and war. Except for chloroform. That's only fair in love.
I have been avoiding the Noid since '89. I'm sure by now the coast is clear, Domino's.
Motivation:
OK so now you are motivated and I have to leave. Not forever, when I leave I am going out with the most tasteless blog ever...a blog so tasteless that even Partisan_Paul(or is it Paul_Partisan) won't post it. That being said, no I have no intentions of leaving.
I had some time to think this afternoon and I get dangerous when I think. This time I wasn't plotting world domination but I was once again thinking of food that revolts me. There is one meal that if you served it to me, I would cease being your friend. It's an omelet. What's so bad about that? Well if one of the ingredients happens to be chicken I will go ape-poop. Just typing about a chicken omelet is giving me the dry heaves. Other food I can't stand...cauliflower, broccoli, squash, and strawberries. For realz, I can't stand strawberries. I may be allergic but I'm not sure. When they are near me I start having asthma attacks. So if you want to de-friend me and unsub for life, invite to your house and serve me a meal consisting of chicken omelets, broccoli, and strawberries...I think I am going to be sick.
Music:
This mash-up consists of "Walk this Way" by Aerosmith, "Block Rockin' Beats" by Chemical Brothers, and "Give it Away" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. The DJ also said there was a bit of Otis Redding in that mash-up but I could find it. Honestly I adore this mash-up. I love how the music flows seamlessly between "Walk this Way" and "Block Rockin' Beats".
OK for those of you who read my Celebrity Round Up, you will know why I included this mash-up. It's "All I Need" by Air mashed with "Smile" by Lily Allen. Seriously, her vocals...it's angelic. Maybe it's because I have a thing for girls with accents.
This mash-up...this is the mash-up. I secretly think that Bob Marley was able to see the future and heard the other song of the mash-up and went back in time to write "This Love". With all that ganj he smoked it's vey well possible and if I remember correctly he is highly revered in the Rastafarian religion. Anyway this mash-up takes Bob Marley's "This Love" and mixes it with Softcell's "Tainted Love". I was really getting down to this one while I was flexing my mathematical muscles earlier this evening.
Here's a bonus mash-up for all my Jewish friends out there. Mazel Tov! For the goyim out there, it's Hanukkah. And for those people that are demanding stores say "Happy Holidays", remember Hannakuh has been celebrated hundreds of years before Christ was born and besides that Christ was born in April...just saying. Anyway this mash-up is a song from Sarah Silverman called "Give Da Jew Girl a Toy". It 's mashed with what could perhaps be the greatest song to ever come out of Germany. That song is "Da Da Da" by Trio. Back in the late 90s, "Da Da Da" was used in Volkswagen ads. I rushed out to the Best Buy and bought that album. It helped my German.
Really...what is wrong with kids these days? TAKE IT SANTA! I think this brings new meaning to my recent thoughts of "screw Christmas". I was reading a report today that people identified Adam Sandler's Hanukkah songs with Hanukkah over the Dreidl song.
Well bubeleh, remember Hanukkah Harry has to schlep all your toys to you so be a mensch and leave him some nice matzah. Your meschuga to not leave anything out for Hanukkah Harry...why that is plain chutzpah! Also don't be a kolboynick and deny the existence of Hanukkah Harry. Drek for you, putz! Happy Hanukkah! Rosh Tov!
I have been hearing a lot today about how people are claiming that they are underrated and overrated and math and IQ numbers have been thrown into the mix.
I just wanted to say that I am smart at math. I taught 5th and 6th grade math. I always gave my students a pre-test before we started the year in math class. Usually the kids would score in the 50 or 60 percents. By the end of the year I gave them the same test, none of my students scored under 95%. None if my math serves me right, that is good.
Anyway here's further proof I am good at math: The associative property works for both multiplication as well as addition.
If you take the group of numbers 2, 3, and 4 no matter which numbers you add together first, they will always have the same sum. (2+3)+4=9 or (4+3)+2=9.
As I mentioned this same property works for multiplication. We will use the same numbers: 2, 3, and 4. (2*3)*4=24 is the same as (4*3)*2=24.
Does knowing the associative property make me better than anyone else on Xanga? Probably not. Does applying the associative property make me the world's best blogger? No. Am I an ass for posting this? Yes. You may get a laugh out of this but I qualified for MENSA. It ain't difficult.
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