This week I saw that Mancouch had a post titled My Five Favorite Comedians.  I was hopeful that maybe, just maybe that website could make a decent post.  I shouldn't have got my hopes up.  One of the "comedians" was merely a character on a TV show and then two others they based on their movie work.  To me a comedian is someone who does stand-up and NOT merely a character in a movie.  A comedian is someone who performs live.  Anyway, since I posted about my least favorite comedians(most of which probably fuel masturbatory fantasies over there at mancouch) and since Newsweek just posted about the 12 comedians who aren't funny, I thought I would finally get around listing some of my favorites.  There is no order here.

Rodney Dangerfield

What can be said about Rodney?  Nothing really...even in death he gets no respect.  I guess I love his humor so much that it has rubbed off on me in a wrong way.  He comedy was very self-depricating and it spanned topics from his birth to school to married life.  His material may not have been believable, but you laughed at it.  Rodney didn't like wearing clothes and he sometimes would perform in nothing but a bathrobe.  My dad said that he saw Rodney perform in L.A. once upon a time and said, "He has the biggest balls in show biz."  I hope he meant that by performing in a bathrobe he was going against the establishment.  Rodney also gave so many popular comedians their break by letting them appear in his clubs some of those comedians are: Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Roseanne Barr, Jeff Foxworthy(I may not like him but he is relatively popular), Tim Allen, Sam Kinison, Rita Rudner, Andrew Dice Clay, and Bob Saget.  One of my favorite Dangerfield quotes: "One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."  And how many people on that mancouch list could pull off a Triple Lindy?

Bill Scheft

I wonder how many of you have heard of this guy.  I guarantee most of you have heard a Bill Scheft joke at one point in your life or at least between the years 1991 until present.  He is the head writer for the David Letterman show.  He has also written humor articles for Sports Illustrated.  He's written numerous books, a couple of which are in treatment for films.  I tried to stay away from the late night talk show hosts because most of their jokes are written by someone else and Letterman's someone else is Bill Scheft.

Sunda Croonquist

Sunda is a comedian who will have you arrested if you don't laugh at her jokes.  Originally she was a police detective and when not keeping the streets safe she took acting classes.  Jackie Mason told her to persue stand-up.  Sunda has an African American mother and a Swedish father so the jokes come naturally for her.  Here's part of her act: "And there is a lot to laugh at because when you’re a Swedish and Black Jew, growing up looking like a Puerto Rican and your mother gives you a Hindu name and sends you to an Irish Catholic School….you’re bound to be funny. But of course the funny doesn’t stop there…..being married to an attorney with an overbearing Jewish mother in law and two precocious daughters under six makes this comedian different from all others. She’s the ultimate “Diverse Diversion” ….she relates to being African-American. She relates to being a Jewish Princess….she has all these experiences that come together to make her the story of America."  Now that Jewish mother-in-law, she led to problems for Sunda.  Her mother-in-law filed a lawsuit against her in a U.S. District Court because she claims that Sunda is defaming her and her family and that her act is racist against Jews.  Sunda had no clue about the lawsuit until she was at an audition and they asked her to explain the lawsuit.  Sometimes the truth is the best material that comedians can work with.

Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt started off writing for Mad TV.  I enjoyed that show, I'll admit it.  He's been in almost every medium.  He voiced a character in Disney's "Ratatouille", he played Spence on "King of Queens",  he lent his voice for a character in "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas", he's had great selling comedy albums, he's been in music videos, and he has a starrign role in "Big Fan".  And I can never forget his role in Reno 911: Miami.  Shit...I am doing the mancouch thing.  Patton's material is hilarious and covers politics and video games, basically a wide variety of nerdom.  Along with Brian Posehn, Zach Galifinakis, and Maria Bamford, they toured with the mocking title "The Comedians of Comedy".  My favorite quote: "90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on. "

Woody Allen

Say what you will about his personal life, but damn it, Woody is funny.  He is so witty.  He wrote for The Ed Sullivan Show, The Tonight Show, and Candid Camera.  Sometimes the movies he wrote felt like a stand-up routine.  My favorite Woody Allen movies both are "documentaries" and both have the feel of a stand up routine: Take the Money and Run and Sweet and Lowdown.  Some of my favorite quotes: "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.", "Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.", "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.", and "I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.''

Dave Attell

People say that Dave and I have a lot in common.  We're bald or balding, drunks, and often get mistaken for being Jewish.  Dave often did stand-up with John Stewart and then he got his break by appearing on the David Letterman show.  Then he wrote for Saturday Night Live, the the god years with Chris Farley.  He also dated the hottest comedian, Sarah Silverman but they broke-up and she went on to bang other comedians.  I think Attell is best known for his show on Comedy Central called Insomniac.  He went around a city exploring things that happen after hours.  He is just off the wall in his performances.  I remember one where he talked about what to do if you are ever caught masturbating.  You yell at the person who catches you to "GO GET HELP!"  My favorite quote besides the one I mentioned: "Sex is not important. What's important is that afterward part. When you're both naked and it's warm and you're watching the sun come up in the windshield. You look in her eyes, you look in her one good eye and help her strap on her leg and you know: you just fucked a pirate."

David Cross

David Cross, this guy is hilarious.  He grew up in the suburbs of Atlanta where he claims to have experienced much racism because of his Jewish heritage.  It makes for great bits in his routine.  He went to college in Boston where he began working in improv and stand-up.  He recalls that the stand-up scene in Boston was too homophobic and racist and dumb.  Guess where Dane Cook got his start?  Cross wrote for The Ben Stiller Show and then was a star and writer for Mr. Show.  Mr. Show gave him his break and he has been everywhere.  He has written books and released comedy album.  His albums "It's Not Funny" and "Shut Up You Fucking Baby" may be some of my favorite comedy albums.  His most recent book contained an author biography that said "David Cross is currently fucking Amber Tamblyn".  He also had the audacity to hope(see what I do here) that he could get away with doing a line of cocaine at a White House dinner.  He did the line 40ft from the president and was not caught.  Oh and if you want to see David Cross at his funniest, do yourself a favor and look for the movie "Run Ronnie Run".  Also check him out in the tv series "Arrested Development".  It's no longer on FOX but I am catching it on IFC.  He played a pyschiatrist who was a licensed analyst and therapist making him a licensed analrapist.

Jerry Seinfeld

Do I really need to write anything here?  No.

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller is one of the pioneers of female stand-up comics.  I think without her, many women we consider funny wouldn't be known to us.  Too bad all her work gave us Kathy Griffin.  She got her start while working as a secretary at a TV station.  The host of a show thought she was funny and persuaded her to try out her routine.  She made an appearance on the show and then was booked by a comedy club and the rest is history.  She is still funny today at the age of 92.

Honorable mention: Mitch Hedberg and Nick Swardson mostly because they are from Minnesota but Hedberg really brought back people to stand-up.  Stephen Wright, Roseanne Barr, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garafalo, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Dave Chappelle, Don Rickles, Wendy Liebman and oh the list could go on but I figure I already put you to sleep.

My favorite comedian on Xanga?  That would have to be jestiny1.  Look at that person's comment on my Least Favorite Comedians list and know that whoever it was started a Xanga account just to write that.  Talk about dedication to the art of comedy.

I already wrote one post tonight so why not another.  If you missed the other one here it is: My Favorite Comedians.
Last night I watched and listened to the Wisconsin basketball game.  They beat Duke.  It was a very impressive game.  I think the one of the fun things I took away from that game was that I saw the owner of the shoe store where I shop sitting behind the Badgers' bench.  So random, I know, but when a guy takes time to stock his store with shoes in my size you recognize him.
And I apologize, there be lists in these links.

#1.  Have you ever wondered how your band got it's name?  Well here is a list of the stories behind how 12 bands got their name.  I still haven't figured out how Mookie Blaylock influenced the name Pearl Jam.

#2.  A lot of people are struggling in this economy yet they still want to have a good time.  Here is a handy guide about how you can enjoy a strip club on $30.  Honestly I think the article is a hoax and horrible but then what do I know.

#3.  Here's a list of 5 seriously messed up movie plots.  I am shocked that Old Boy did not make the list or Ichii the Killer.

#4.  Do you watch TV?  Hopefully you watch good TV and not these shows that were the 10 worst of the decade.

#5.  I love Google Street.  I have often been surprised that I haven't found much nefarious activities when I view the street.  Well someone has went to painstaking efforts to make a collection of prostitutes found on Google Streets, too bad they didn't include the addresses.  Here's a great example of something random found in Google street, apparently they don't know what deer look like in Canada.

#6.  Have you ever wondered what L.A. would look like if there were no people?  Well here is your chance to see what that would look like.  Even without all the people it still looks polluted as all hell.

#7.  Here is a list of actors who turned down huge roles on TV.  You know, it's hard to imagine Paul Giamanti as Michael Scott or Paul Schaffer as George Costanza.

#8.  Because I am a map nerd, here is a map of the 250 best movies of all time, color coordinated as to genre.

#9.  Even though this site is for what to do when tumblr is down, I think it is applicable to Xanga as of late.  Keep clicking, some are truly funny.

#10.  I know some of you hate these lists but they backed up in my bookmark section and I want to get rid of them.  Anyway here is a list of some strange high school mascots.  True story:  I coached football against one of those schools.

#11.  I know some of you really dig Judd Apatow movies.  I like some of his work.  Thanks for B-Money for bringing this to my attention, here is a chart of Apatow productions casting.  It's amazing how some of those guys are in almost everything.

#12.  I love those church sign generators.  Well here is a site of many different sign generators.  Thanks B-Money.

#13.  The rule with this site is that you have to be drunk and then write haikus.  That is why it is called Drunken Haiku.

#14.  Do you have facebook?  Be careful not to post anything stupid or it may make this list of embarassing facebook posts.

#15.  I can't believe there are some famous people who became famous by accident.  Here are seven that were that lucky. It's funny how getting drunk gave Mel Gibson his big break and also basically ended his career.

I hope you enjoyed.