January 8, 2010

• My Predictions and Resolutions for 2010---Updated

  I started doing this a few years back.  I never made New Year's resolutions before because I realized that I would eventually break them and that I should just save my breath and energy.  Lately as I have matured I think they are nice to make.  I also like to make predictions because I figure that I can do just as well as some of the major psychics.  Years back, I remember visiting my parents for the holidays and they were infatuated with this medium named Sylvia Brown.  The only thing that I found remarkable about her was her voice which had turned awful manly after years of smoking.  She also made appearances at the local casino to "talk with the dead".  Well on a year-end Montel Williams show special she made her predictions.  She said the Pope John Paul would die and would be succeed by a black man from Africa.  The funny thing was I think the actual pope lived another 5 years.  She also predicted that there would be a cure for diabetes and that John Travolta would die in a plane crash.  Man, I wish those would have come true.  Yes, I don't like John Travolta and had his plane crashed we would not have been subjected to Wild Hogs.  Later on I found a website that said of all her predictions, that her best year she was accurate 10% of the time.  Well my gambling instinct took over and I figured that I could make predictions and be just as accurate. 

  Let's begin by reviewing what I said about 2009.  My current thoughts are in parantheses.
  My Resoultions for 2009
  1.  I am going to be a better person in my mind. (I like to say I achieved this one.  I don't know if I have to go into specifics but in my mind's eye I feel like I was a better and kinder person.  Maybe you will disagree with me.)
  2.  I am going to do volunteer work such as working at the library across the street or some after school mentoring. (I have volunteered my time at my church and have taught children's classes there)
  3.  I am going to start working on a Master's. (I didn't get into the program simply because I dragged my feet.  I was set to join up for the spring and summer semesters however my computer died so now I will put that off)
  4.  I am going to brew my own beer, wine, or cider. (I didn't make my own beer, wine, or cider but I did make my own flavored vodka)
  5.  I am going to make some drastic moves with the stock market. (In the works.)
  6.  I will get that full time teaching job or staff writing job. (Didn't happen but I remain positive like Magic Johnson.  I really hope the economy turns and people realize that reality TV is crap unless it is a VH-1 dating show.  A BASEMENT AFFAIR!)
   
  Predictions for 2009
  1.  Since it has worked the past two years, I'll go with it it again, I will become apathetic to a major news/human interest story. (Michael Jackson...Balloon Boy...all the missing children that Nancy Grace screams about)
  2.  I don't see Joe Biden lasting that long as vice president.  Not because he gets hurt or ill, but because he has a falling out with Obama.  (You know this one had me thinking.  It seems like Obama is not to pleased when Joe opens his mouth)
  3.  After spending $432 million in the free agent pool and building a new stadium, the New York Yankees will declare bankruptcy.  They also won't make the playoffs.  (I felt like a fool with this one.  I really wish it had come true.)
  4.  Gas will be priced at over $3 a gallon and then will rise even higher after terrorist attacks in Saudi oil fields (This one keeps nearing closer to reality around here.  Every time I bring my dad for diaysis the gas has went up three cents each visit)
  5.  There will be martial law declared in America. (It almost happened but not in 2009.  It was in the last year of the Bush administration when they broke up that terror ring in Buffalo.  He and Dick thought about round the bad guys up with the military)
  6.  There will be a record amount of homicide and suicide in America due to a worsening economic situation which will see unemployment hit 20%.  (I think unemployment hit 13%.  I don't know the numbers of homicide or suicide but Wisconsin set a record this past year with domestic disputes and spousal abuse cases)
  7.  The Obamas will chose a cocker spaniel.  (See I think we are so focused on the economy that people don't give a damn)
  8.  Bill Clinton and W Bush will get in a fight over the rug...I couldn't resist after hearing Clinton say, "I love that rug." (That was a video released about the time I wrote this last year of Clinton commenting on W's choice of rug in the Oval Office)
  9.  The U.S. and Canada will combine currency and call it the Amero but Mexico will be excluded. (Thank god this one didn't happen)
  10.  There will be a breakthrough in the discovery of a treatment for AIDS.  (This sort of freaked me out because there was a break-through drug found in Canada and in Thailand a vaccine was found to prevent AIDS and HIV in sex workers)
  11.  A major band or group of celebrities will meet their demise in a plane crash. (Hmmm I am crediting this one as accurate because of all the celebrities that died)
  12.  Bees will be declared an endangered species. (The numbers keep dwindling and honey production is at low levels)
  13.  America will no longer stand by Israel after allegations of genocide begin to surface after the military operation in Gaza Strip. (I can sort of see America's relationship with Israel weakening and this in part is due to some of the reports coming out of the strip.)
  14.  Disney will buy the rights to license Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Cupid, and the Tooth Fairy. (Damn...didn't happen)
  15.  Osama bin Laden will finally be captured (Damn...didn't happen.  Does anyone out there actually think this guy is still alive?)

  My Resolutions for 2010
  1.  I will be a better person.
  2.  I will start the Master's program.
  3.  I will find some form of work that makes me happy.
  4.  I will be seen on ESPN for the World Series of Poker or at least I will become a force to be reckoned with at the local casino in their poker rooms.
  5.  I will be part of an inside joke.
  6.  I will find someone to whom I can say "I love you".

  My Predictions for 2010
  1.  HBO will announce that the ending for The Sopranos was an error in their programming.  They will release the final 15 minutes that never aired when the series went to black.  In the final 15 minutes we learn that Meadow becomes a lawyer, Carmella kicks Tony out of the house and makes a killing on the stock market only to have the market collapse kill her,  A.J. joins a ballet company and becomes a succesful dancer, and Tony moves to San Diego where he runs a popular patio furniture store.
  2.  Since it has worked in years past, I will become disinterested in a human interest story.
  3.  That Progressive Insurance girl, Flo, I am so attracted to her.  I will bang her in a booze-fueled wild rumpus of a weekend.
  4.  A certain Xangan will settle all his beefs with other Xangans by stepping into a steel cage and beating all his enemies senseless.  Of course this will be broadcast live on Xanga-TV and will be the greatest webcast in the history of webcasts.  Because of this fight Xanga will shift from a blogging site to a mixed martial arts site and Xangans will be required to fight at least once a month unless they buy a premium account and the only thing credits will do for you is to help sway the voters for who wins the rounds.
  5.  In a shocking event, I will find respect for Glen Beck and his anti-birth certifacte movement.  This will cause the Xanga tin-foil hat and conspiracy theory section to have exploding heads due to the mass confusion.
  6.  Old Faithful will cease to be faithful and will erupt causing much of Yellowstone National Park to burn and be rendered void.
  7.  The movie Independence Day will come true however instead of battling aliens, America will battle terrorists with President Obama leading the charge.  Instead of fighting from a jet, he'll fight from a tank and will mow down terrorists with a machine gun.
  8.  Israel will attack Iran.
  9.  America will go to war with pirates and we will see large numbers of people leave the U.S. to join with the Somali pirates only to learn that the pirate life isn't as great as what it is depicted in Pirates of the Caribbean.
  10.  There will be an announcement made that finally tells us why bees are dying off in record numbers.  The  most probable killer is cell phone waves
  11.  During the 2010 campaign, politicians will start saying how honest they are and town hall meetings will be replaced by polygraph tests where the politicians prove how honest they are.
  12.  Due to the movie Avatar, a break-through in the treatment of paralysis will be made.
  13.  Those transporters in Star Trek will start appearing in major cities world-wide to combat terrorism on airplanes.
  14.  The U.S. auto industry will become the strongest it has ever been when GM unveils a muscle car that gets 100 mpg and costs under $10,000.
  15.  Gary Busey is abducted by aliens and he becomes their leader.  He will also admit to cannabalism.
  16.  Puerto Rico...51st State
  17.  A multi-national effort to land man on Mars will begin
  18.  Dr. Oz will be revealed to be the last of the Elfs and he will leave his show to take a cursed ring to the cracks of doom in order to destroy it.
  19.  A major and active professional athlete will committ suicide.  Note...I already did this prediction after the T.O. overdose but it almost came true when they put Vince Young of the Tennessee Titans on a suicide watch.
  20.  The United States will make it to the World Cup finals.

  So those are my predictions.  I know they might be vague but look at Nostradamus.  He was vague as hell and people consider him to be the best.  I saw a guy last night explain how the name Mabus could have been Nostradamus predicting Osama, Sadam, W. Bush, and Obama.

  I still have no computer and am sitting in a public library while my dad is doing his kidney dialysis.  The guy next to me has a one month old daughter in a car seat on the floor.  She is adorable.  That makes the old biological clock tick a little harder. 

  My car has gone through 3 color changes in the past few hours.  When I woke up it was white because it was covered in about 5 inches of snow.  Then after clearing it off, the normal color, navy blue, was showing.  By the time I get my dad to the dialysis center, my Blazer is this ugly gray color from the salt that was on all the highways that I drove.  The good news is that he is getting transfered to a place near his work so I will no longer have to drive him.

  MTV's Jersey Shore really puts Italians in a bad light. A bad light that makes then all look orange.

  So NBC is messing with the scheduling because Jay Leno supposedly isn't funny in the 9PM timeslot...news to NBC executives: JAY LENO HASN'T BEEN FUNNY FOR 15 YEARS!

  I have thought of becoming a pessimist in the year 2010 but I won't because I figure it won't work.

  • 2:33 PM
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