I've heard President Obama talk about whose ass he is going to kick but I want him to say this about BP.

I have been thankful that I never had to do anything Census related with a person who suffers from multiple personality disorder.

I am beginning to think that Lady Gaga is Jonbenet Ramsey all grown up.

Being an astute basketball fan, I'm sure that Rasheed Wallace smokes more green than he wears on his uniform.

When you're drunk it's hard to say the word "indubitably" but it's even more difficult to say "no" to horny chicks.

Time to Badger up, your weekly dose of motivation:

I'm thinking of dropping the "I'm the only Xangan who'll..." schtick for this post and bring it back occasionally in it's own special post.  But just so you know, I'm the only Xangan who won't shy away from an erection that you caused.

I've tested positive for genius.

I have been confirmed as "Totally Awesome" by the Mythbusters.

I haven't been able to post a celebrity round up this week and it sort of pisses me off.  People like to use Xanga and have stuck by this site despite the surge of Facebook and Myspace but the Xanga team seems to just give the regular users a big fuck you by their lackluster service and pandering to the -ish sites.  If only Xanga was a publicly traded company.

This weekend was an interesting one in this part of the world.  The Croatian Sensation came through to visit his Milwaukee family.  We got together for drinks on Saturday night but the news that broke Saturday afternoon was disturbing.  Members of the Green Bay Packers were in town for a charity golf outing at Trapper's Turn golf course in beautiful Wisconsin Dells.  They were staying at the Wilderness Resort and one thing led to another and one player gets accused or raping two women.  They took 7 players into custody and for questioning.  They released 6 of the players and kept the seventh in custody.  This player is the one accused of rape.  The police are not releasing a name and it's amazing that everyone has their lips sealed.  Well today a news agency reported that the district attorney is having difficulties making a case since the accusers are constantly changing their stories.  One of my connections dropped a name possibility and it scares me of the ramifications.  Anyway I'm keeping my eyes and ears open on that one.

As for the Croatian Sensation and his wife who needs a nickname...hmmm...Rojo Caliente???...met me at a bar in the most haunted town in Wisconsin, Baraboo.  We had a few beers, Spotted Cow and Blue Moon, and Rojo Caliente had to go back to the room because she is pregnant.  No she wasn't drinking even though she would be drinking for two, she was getting sick of the smoke.  Even though Wisconsin claims to be progressive we still are backwards and allow smoking in public buildings but that changes July 5th.  Anyway back at their room, I was introduced to new beers, Nordeast and Schell's Hoppfen Malz.  I was in heaven.  Well the night took a strange turn when we decided to head back to the bar.  We walked through the lobby of the motel because I had to load up beer in my vehicle.  We are in the entryway and this guy stops us.  "Hey guys, there's two kids making out out there.  Tell them to get a room."  I smiled and was was going to oblige.  I start to say it but all I get out was "Hey".  I saw the kids and that's when it got bizarre.  If you want to know what was so bizarre, deposit $10 in my Paypal account...pay-per-read FTW!

Back at the bar I decided to be a good boy and stick with non-alcoholic drinks but my mind was altered.  Lust made me drunk.  The bartender was displaying her implants and then a few of the kareoke singers were rivaling the bartender in the chesticle area.  Chain restaurants were discussed, pop switched to Crown Royal.  The next thing I know, I'm listening to Guns N' Roses and drinking Sambuca.  Fun times were had by a few.

So in lieu of a Celebrity Round Up or a Mash-Up Madness post, I'm just going to give you some random photos.

What men really want?

I think that is a bit much unless you are working at Taco Bell

Hey, look, it's the new double stuffed ore-hoes.

Sometimes it gets really boring and there is nothing better to do.

The New York City police department have adopted a new nickname, NYPD Blew.  They are still going to go by their old motto, "To Serve and Protect" because they are down with the service part but protection gets a bit sketchy especially if they have been drinking. 

Amen?

The new official crayons of the state of Arizona.

My future wife.

Even Mario has been hurt by the oil spill.

Hey, pregnant dude, you shouldn't be celebrating just yet.  It looks like your baby is merely crowning.

Animals are so like us.  Man if I didn't shave the back hair and my ex didn't shave her pits, it'd be like looking in a mirror.

Once again someone documented my dancing.  I should dance like everyone is watching.  I have a feeling that a certain Green Bay Packer is going to be doing this dance in the next few hours.  Oh and there may be a clue to the identity of the accused in the video.

Maybe my incessant complaining worked because things seem to be working.  Have a great day.