The other night I was reliving the glory days of my football coaching career.  I was thinking of a particular game that was a defensive battle.  My team won with a late touchdown and with that win we also won the conference title.  The team we played had one of the most bizarre nicknames I have ever seen first hand.  They were the Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms. 

That image comes from the school’s official website which can be found here.

When I was in the booth radioing to the coaches on the sidelines I noticed that the Awesome Blossoms even had a young girl dressed as the Blossom.  She was having a horrible time.  She was in tears and obviously didn’t want to be dressed as a mighty flower.  I kept waiting for them to bring out food from Chili’s or Outback whichever has the blooming onion.

This got me thinking of some of poor nicknames of collegiate and high school sports teams.  In this post I’ll just include some of my favorite high school nicknames.

Alabama  
Montgomery:  Sidney Lanier  - Poets 

Alaska
 Diomede  -  Dateliners (I bet Chris Hansen jumps out at halftime and makes everyone take a seat)
 Ketchikan  -  King Salmons
 Palmer  -  Moose
 Point Hope: Tikigaq  -  Harpooners 

Arizona

 Bagdad  -  Sultans
 Gila Bend  -   Gila Monsters
 Mesa: Heritage Academy  -  Heroes  
 Yuma  -  Criminals
Arkansas
 Bauxite  -  Miners
 Hartford  -  Hustlers (Larry Flynt?)
 Harrison  -  Golden Goblins
 Marmaduke  -  Greyhounds
 Morrilton  -  Devil Dogs
 Ozark  -  Hillbillies
 Prescott  -  Curly Wolves
 Stuttgart  -  Rice Birds
 Wonderview  -  Daredevils

California
 Coalinga  -  Horned Toads
 Concord  -  Minutemen  
 French Gulch: Nawa  -  Steelheads
 Hollister: San Benito  - Hay Balers
 Lakewood: Mayfair  -  Monsoons
 Laundale: Leuzinger  -  Olympians
 Lincoln  -  Fighting Zebras
 Los Angeles: Hollywood  - Shieks
 Los Angeles: John Marshall  - Barristers
 Los Angeles: Manual Arts  -  Toilers (fitting since it is a school of manual art)
 Los Angeles: Ribet Academy  -  Fighting Frogs
 Los Angeles: Thomas Jefferson  -  Democrats (his official party name was the Democratic Republicans)
 Los Olivos: Dunn HS  -  Earwigs
 Napa  -  Vintage Crushers
 Sacremento: St. Francis  -  Troubadours
 Venice  -  Gondoliers
  Yuba City  -  Honkers

Colorado
 Alamosa  -  Mean Moose
 Aspen  -  Skiers
 Brush  -  Beetdiggers
 Fort Collins  -  Lambkins
 Poudre  -  Impalas
 Rocky Ford  -  Meloneers
 Windsor  -  Wizards

Connecticut
  Avon: Avon Old Farms  -  Winged Beavers  
  East Hampton  -  Bellringers
  Kent:  Marvelwood School  -  Screaming Pterodactyls
  Milford: Jon Law  -  Lawmen
  Moodus:  Nathan Hale-Ray  -  Noises
  Woodstock Academy  -  Centaurs

Florida
 Daytona: Seabreeze  -  Fighting Sandcrabs
 Englewood: Lemon Bay  -  Manta Rays (Steve Irwin’s arch-nemesis)
 Fort Lauderdale  -  Flying L’s
 Key West  -  Conchs (When they have school assemblies only the kid with the conch may speak)
 Laurel Hill  -  Hoboes
 Tarpon Springs  -  Spongers   (named after some cheap relatives?)

Georgia
 Cairo  -  Syrupmakers   
  Savannah: Johnson  -  Atom Smashers
 Clarkston  -  Angoras

Hawaii
 Kailua  -  Surfriders
 KaMakani: Hawaii Prep  -  Gentle Breeze
 Pahoa  -  Daggers
 Idaho
 Camas Co.  -  Musher Dogs  
 Clark Fork  -  Wampus Cats
 Shelly  -  Russets
 Orofino  -  Maniacs
 Sun Valley:  The Community School  -  Cutthroat Trout
Illinois
 Arcola  - Purple Riders
 Centralia  -  Orphans / Orphan Annies
 Cobden  -  Appleknockers
 DeKalb  -  Barbs
 Effingham  -  Flaming Hearts
 Fisher  -  Bunnies
 Freeport  -  Pretzels
 Fulton  -  Steamers (at least no school in Cleveland has that nickname)
 Galesburg  -  Silver Streaks
 Hampshire  -  Whip-Purs
 Hoopeston  -  Cornjerkers (have you ever had your corn jerked?)
 Kewanee: Wethersfield  -  Flying Geese
 Lake Forest Academy  -  Caxy's
  Monticello  -  Sages
 New Berlin  -  Pretzels
 Rock Island  -  Rocks
 Tuetopolis  -  Wooden shoes
 Woodhull: Alwood  -  Aces
 Zion-Benton  -  Fighting Zee-Bees

Indiana
 Cloverdale  -  Clovers
 Crawfordsville  -  Athenians
 Delphi  -  Oracles  
 Frankfort  -  Hot Dogs
 Hobart  -  Brickies
 Indianapolis: Northwest  -  Space Pioneers
 Jimtown  -  Jimmies
 Logansport  -  Berries
 Madison: Grant  -  Argylles (they have to have the coolest uniforms)
 Plymouth  -  Pilgrims
 Rising Sun  -  Shiners
 Shoals  -  Jug Rox
 Speedway  -  Sparkplugs
 Union Mills: South Central - Satellites
 Vincennes: Lincoln  -  Alices

Iowa
 Akron-Westfield  -  Westerners (Because Iowa is out west)
 Burlington: Notre Dame  -  Nikes (Nike is “Victory” in Greek)

 Center Point/Urbana  -  Stormin’Pointers
 Clinton  -  River Kings / Queens 
 Fort Madison  -  Bloodhounds
 Iowa City:  City HS  -  Little Hawks
 Muscatine  -  Muskies
 Pocahontas  -  Maidens   (girls teams only) 
 Scattergood: Friends  -  Scattergood Crew
 Sheldon  -  Orabs   (Not Arabs stands for orange & black)

Kansas
  Hesston  -  Swathers
  Lawrence  -  Chesty Lions     (visit their website for the explanation!)
  Salina: St. Johns Military  - Muleskinners
Kentucky
 Bowling Green - Purples  
 Louisville: Sacred Heart  - Valkryies
 Erlanger: Lloyd Memorial  - Juggernauts  
 Silver Grove  -  Big Trains
 Somerset  -  Briar Jumpers

Louisiana  
  Crowley  -  Ladies/Gents
  Farmerville  -  Fighting Farmers
  Metairie  -  Chipmunks  
  New Orleans: Newman  -  Greenies

Maine
  Brewer  -  Witches
  Falmouth  -  Yachtsmen (This must be where the Bush family has one of their residences)
  Lee Academy  -  Pandas
  Morse  -  Ship Builders
  Orono  -  Riots
  Penobscot Valley  -  Howlers
Maryland
 Allegany:  Campers
 Annapolis: Key School  -  Obezags
 Baltimore:  Dunbar  -  Poets
 Crisfield  -  Crabbers
 Sandy Spring: Friends School  -  Wildebeests

Massachusetts
 Ashland  - Clockers
 Lexington: Lexington Christian Academy  -  Lasers
 New Bedford  -  Whalers
Westford  -  Grey Ghosts
 Michigan
 Bad Axe  -  Hatchets
 Bessemer  -  Speedboys/Speedgirls (They made an appearance in a reality series about Watersmeet)
 Colon  -  Magi
 Dearborn: Fordson  -  Tractors
 Detroit: Cass Tech  -  Technicians
 Detroit: Southeastern  - Jungaleers (So that is where ICP derived the name Juggalo)
 Dexter  -  Dreadnaughts
 Grand Rapids: Gateway  -  Geckos
 Gwinn  -  Modeltowners  
 Ida  -  Blue Streaks
 Ishpeming  -  Hematites
 Jackson: Northwest  -  Mounties
 Kingsford  -  Flivvers
 Midland  -  Chemics
 Mt. Clemens  -  Battling Bathers
 Unionville-Sebawing Area -  U.S.A Patriots
 Watersmeet  -  Nimrods (This school was featured in a reality series on Sundance Channel called Nimrod Nation.  Excellent show)
 West Iron County  -  Wykons
 Wayne:  Memorial  - Zebras
 Zeeland:  East  -  Chix
 Zeeland:  West  -  Dux

Minnesota
 Aitkin  -  Gobblers
 Blooming Prairie  -  Awesome Blossoms
 Jordan  -  Hubmen (I lived near this town and no one could explain what a Hubmen was other than it was a town where two major highways that lead to the Twin Cities met)
 Minneapolis: Roosevelt  - Teddies
 Minnetonka  -  Skippers (I wish Alan Hale was their mascot)
 Sauk Centre  -  Main Streeters
 Thief River Falls  -  Prowlers
 Two Harbors  -  Agates

Mississippi
 East Union  -  Urchins  

Missouri
 Clarkton  -  Reindeer
 Hickman  -  Kewpies
 Maryville  -  Spoofhounds
 West Plains  -  Zizzers
 St. Louis: University High  - Junior Billiken
Montana
 Chinook  -  Sugar Beeters
 Deer Lodge  -  Wardens
 Forsythe  -  Doggies
 North Toole Co. -  Refiners
 White Water  -  Penguins  

Nebraska
 Fairbury  -  Jeffs
 Lincoln: Lincoln  -  Links   (as in chain links)
 Minden  -  Whippets (They celebrate victories in style)
 Omaha: Benson  -  Bunnies
 Omaha: Mercy  -  Monarchs (The butterflies)
 Pender  -  Pendragons
 Ord  -  Chanticleers
Nevada
 Cheyenne  -  Desert Shields  
 Indian Springs  -  Thunderbirds (A school around me has the nickname Thunderbirds but maybe this one refers to the magical elixir)
 Tonopah  -  Fighting Muckers  
 Virginia City  -  Muckers

New Jersey
 Belvidere  -  County Seaters
 Fair Lawn  -  Cutters  
 Vineland  -  Fighting Clan (Thankfully not associated with the KKK)

New Mexico
 Carlsbad  -  Cavemen
New York
 Albany: The Doane Stuart School  -  Thunderchicken
 Fort Edward  -  Flying Forts
 New York: Automotive  -  Pistons (self-fulfilling prophecy)
 New York: Cardozo  -  Judges (self-fulfilling prophecy)
 New York: Sinatra School of the Arts  -  Legends (That has to be the best school nickname ever considering the school is named after THE Legend)
 New York:  Stuyvesant  -  Hitmen (seeing it is New York City…self-fulfilling prophecy)
 New York: Edison  -  Inventors
 Tarrytown: Sleepy Hollow  - Headless Horsemen
 Warrensburg  -  Burgers  

North Carolina  
 Durham  -  School of Science & Mathmatics  -  Unicorns  
 Greensboro: Grimsley  -  Whirlies  
 Kernersville: Bishop McGuiness  -  Villians  
 Washington  -  PamPack

North Dakota
  Adams-Edmore  -  Prowlers
  Casselton: Central Cass  - Squirrels
 Grafton  -  Spoilers
  Minot  -  Magicians
  Napoleon  -  Imperials
  New Salem  -  Holstiens
Ohio
 Avon Lake  -  Shoremen/Shoregals  
 Barberton  -  Magics
 Chillicothe: Unioto - Sherman Tanks (I wonder if they get licensing fees)
 Cincinnatt: Taft  -  Senators (with a name like Taft you’d think they would be the Presidents or Justices)
 Cleveland: Glenville  -  Tarblooders  
 Cleveland: Jane Addams  -  Executives    
 Cleveland: John Marshall  - Lawyers
 Garretsville: Garfield  - G-Men
 Crooksville  -  Ceramics
 Fredericktown  -  Freddies
 Fremont: Ross  -  Little Giants (Hopefully they get Rick Moranis to coach their football team)
 Marion: Harding  -  Presidents
 New Philadelphia  -  Fighting Quakers (But aren’t Quakers pacificts)
 Parma: Normandy  -  Invaders
 Philo  -  Electrics
 South Webster  -  Jeeps
 Urbana  -  Hillclimbers
Oklahoma  
  Beaver  -  Dusters (that is a scary nickname maybe sexy if the cheerleaders wear French maid costumes)
  Chickasha  -  Fighting Chicks (That has to be a girls school)
  Enid  -  Plainsmen  
  Haskell  -  Haymkers
Oregon
  Bend  -  Lava Bears
  Lakeview  -  Honkers
  Portland: Episcopal  -  Aardvarks
  Portland: Roosevelt  -  Roughriders
Pennsylvania
 Allentown: Allen  -  Canaries
 Aliquippa  -  Quips (what a witty team)
 Biglerville  -  Canners
 Boiling Springs  -  Bubblers (if they were in Wisconsin their mascot would be a drinking fountain)
 Canonsburg: Canon-McMillan  - Big Macs (not a McDonald’s reference but they are Scottish)

 Cranberry  -  Berries
 Hatboro-Horsham  -  Mad Hatters
 Haverford  -  Fords
 Industry:  Western Beaver  -  Golden Beaver (mmmmm golden beaver)
 Karns City  -  Gremlins (Not STRIPE!)
 Mars Area   -  Fightin' Planets
 North East  -  Grape Pickers
 Northhampton  -  Koncrete Kids
 Philadelphia: Franklin  - Electrons
 Philadelphia: St. Hubert  - Bambies (very intimidating)
 Punxsutawney  -  Woodchucks (Not Phil?)
 Williamsport  -  Millionaires

Rhode Island
 Coventry  -  Knotty Oakers
 East Providence  -  Townies  
 Pawtucket: Bishop Keough  -  Koalas (Because the Koala is native to Rhode Island)

South Carolina  
 Mullin -  Auctioneers  

South Dakota
Centerville  - Tornadoes
Dell Rapids  - Quarriers  
Gettysburg  -  Battlers 
Lake Preston  - Divers
Lead-Deadwood  - Golddiggers (Al Swearengen would be proud as would Paris Hilton)
 Newell  - Irrigators
Parker  - Pheasants
Phillip  - Scotties
Rapid City Central  -  Cobblers
 Sturgis  - Scoopers (You’d think this school would have a fiercer sounding nickname seeing they have the annual bike rally there)

Tennessee
 BellBuckle: The Webb School  -  Feet
 Chattanooga: Central  -  Purple Pounders
 Chattanooga: Girls Prep  -  Bruisers (fitting for a girls school)
 Hendersonville  - Commandos
 Gray: Daniel Boone  -  Trailblazers    rivals with Crockett HS
 Jonesborough:  David Crockett  -  Pioneers   rivals with Boone HS
 Nashville: Harpeth Hall  -  Honeybears
Texas
 Bryan: St. Michael  -  Dragonslayers
 Cameron: Yoe  -  Yoemen
 Cuero  -  Gobblers (I wonder what they gobble)
 Falfurrias  -  Fighting Jerseys
 Freeport: Brazosport  -  Exporters
 Hereford  -  Whitefaces
 Houston: Morris Academy  -  Praying Hands
 Hutto  -  Hippos
 Italy  -  Gladiators
 Itasca  -  Wampus Cats
 Lewisville  -  Fighting Farmers
 Mesquite  -  Skeeters (SKEET SKEET SKEET)
 Munday  -  Moguls
 New Braunfels  -  Unicorns
 Port Lavaca: Calhoun  -  Fighting Sand Crabs
 Robstown  -  Cottonpickers
 Springtown  -  Fighting Porcupines
 Taylor  -  Fighting Ducks
 Van  -  Vandals
 Winters  -  Blizzards

Utah
 Beaver  -  Beavers (That’s sort of cheap)
 Granite  -  Farmers
 Jordan  -  Beetdiggers
 Manti  -  Templars (A lot of conspiracy theorists attend this school)
Vermont
 Burlington  -  Seahorses
  Montpelier  -  Solons
Virginia
 Fluvanna County  -  Flying Flucos
 Hampton  -  Crabbers
 Highland Springs  -  Springers (The only team in America endorsed by Jerry Springer)
 Madeira  -  Snails     (gotta be tough for the track team)
 Portsmouth: Churchland  -  Truckers
 Prince George  -  Royals
 Richmond: John Marshall HS  -  Justices

Washington
Blaine  -  Borderites
 Eatonville  -  Cruisers
 Illwaco  - Fishermen
Lake Washington  - Kangaroos
Mercer Island  -  Islanders 
Richland  -  Bombers
Ridgefield  - Spudders 
Pateros  - Billiegoats
Waterville  - Shockers

Washington, D.C.
Cardoza  -  Clerks
 

West Virginia 
 Inwood: Musselman  -  Applemen  
 Man  -  Hillbillies
 Poca  - Dots (That’s right they are the Poca Dots)
 

Wisconsin
 Antigo  -  Red Robins (yum)
 Appleton: West  -  Terrors (I'm shaking in my Chuck Taylors)
 Ashland  - Oredockers
 Bayfield  - Trollers (They have the best internet debate team)
 Butternut  -  Mighty Midgets (TLC has to do a reality series here)
 Clintonville  - Truckers (I'm not even going to make a joke here)
 Cuba City  -  Cubans (because Wisconsin is known for Cuban communities)
 DeForest  -  Norskies (Dem Norskies and deys teams)
 Dodgeville  -  Dodgers (Named after Governor Dodge)
 Elk Lk-Glenbeulah  -  Resorters (The laziest practices in Wisconsin)
 Elk Mound  -  Mounders
 Fall Creek  -  Crickets (You should hear the sound effects at their games)
 Fond-du-Lac: St. Mary's Springs  -  Ledgers (My school lost to this school in a state championship football game.  They are called the Ledgers because they are on the ledge of a hill)
 Horicon  - Marshmen (I was in this gym for a playoff game and the mascot is simply a guy standing among some reeds)
 Hurley  - Midgets (That can’t be politically correct but TLC has plans for a reality series)
 Kaukana  - Galloping Ghosts (The cheese they make in Kaukana is hauntingly delicious)
 Kimberly  -  Papermakers
 Laona  -  Fighting Kellys (I once dated a girl named Kelly and she was abusive)
 Madison:  East  -  Purgolders (Purple+gold=purgolder...gang colors of Madison)
 Manitowoc  -  Shipbuilders
 Mellen  -  Granite Diggers
 Milwaukee: Washington  -  Purgolders (A team I played against in high school were known as the Blugolders simply because their colors were blue and gold)
 Milwaukee: Pius XI  -  Popes (Hard to believe this is a Catholic school)
 Mineral Point  -  Pointers
 Monroe  - Cheesemakers (The only place in America that makes limburger cheese so they stink it up on the playing fields.  The other industry in Monroe is beer making.)
 Nekoosa  -  Papermakers
 Oconomowoc  -  Coons (Not going to touch that one)
 Platteville  -  Hillmen
 Rhinelander  -  Hodags (Beware the Hodags)
 Washburn  -  Castle Guards
 Weston: Everest  -  Evergreen
 Watertown  -  Goslings

Wyoming
 Big Piney  -  Punchers (I wonder if they have a boxing team)