but if I could, I'd be your mom.

Please excuse my absence and leaving your comments without reply.  My computer defecated all over my plans of a Xanga takeover.  Yes, I have been semi-silently planning a coup.  Of course this was when Xanga acted like excrement but I hear it is operating pleasantly.  For some odd reason my computer decides to shut itself down without any warning.  I have yet to figure out why this is and when I tried to reinstall windows, the computer shuts down without warning.  I haven't been able to reach the person who built it for me because he works at night and at night is when I drink.  Actually, I haven't had a drink since Friday night when I was pre-celebrating a Wisconsin victory.  Take that, Gravy!

They revealed the name of the next movie in the Batman franchise...The Dark Knight Rises.  In the poker world, this is called a tell.  they revealed who the villain will be.  With a title like The Dark Knight Rises, it has to be Catwoman.

I have come to hate the phrase, "I'm in the same boat".  When I hear that I want to drown the person who says it.

I hate using a public library for my computer needs.  I am listening to these two girls text, talk on the phone, and IM each other in the same fucking room.  Apparently one girl spread a rumor that the other girl smokes cigarettes.  Wow!  That is life changing!  Just wait until they hit middle school and they spread rumors about smoking meat.

Why do women offer hand-jobs?  That position has already been filled by my hand.  I think it has something to do with the reason why my girlfriend calls me Monday.  I always come too fast and she never wants me around.  But then the reason I enjoy having sex with my wife is because she's never around.

There has been a push to put Penthouse Forum in Braille.  It's a very touchy subject.

This is what Wisconsin looks like right now.

 

Now motivational posters for you...sorry.  Well, I guess it's like my dad used to say...leaves cigarette and never comes back.