Teacher: “Class, for show and tell today, Matt would like to tell you some of his jokes. Please give him your undivided attention.”
*class applauds*
Matt: “Thank you Ms. Whitehead. Or should I say, Ms. Doodoohead!
*laughter*
Matt: “Seriously though, it’s great to be here. This morning when I was eating my Alphabets cereal, I started making words. Yeah, you’ve all done it before, don’t be shy! *winks at Heather F.* Anywho, I was trying to spell out words with my cereal, and they were all coming out the same! I was confused and could not figure it out. Then I realized that I wasn’t eating Alphabets cereal…..they were Cheerios!
*laughter, Heather F. picks nose*
Matt: “They other day, my dog farted and it smelled like…..the cat!”
*laughter*
Matt: “Man, life is hard though. *smiles at Heather F.* I went to go take a Flintstones vitamin, and wouldn’t you know it, we were all out of orange! I looked at my mom and said, ‘Orange you going to buy me more vitamins!’ Then I farted on the dog’s fat head!”
*laughter, Heather F. eats booger*
Matt: “Anyone in the house a fan of Lincoln logs? *applause* Lincoln logs look like penises! You guys are gay!”
*laughter, Ms. Whitehead rushes to front of class*
Ms. Whitehead: “Well, thank you very much Matt, that was, interesting. You may take your seat now.”
*class applauds*
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