So I thought I would share multiple ways you can ruin your Thanksgiving because I did some experimenting this year.  Of course, you will have to try these next year. 

Something may be labeled NSFW

-Call your father a "butt plug" during the pre-meal prayer
-Tell the cook that Chef Gordon Ramsay would kick them out of Hell's Kitchen for their culinary abortion and that Guy Fieri would enjoy the food because he is a dullard.
-Drink 10 beers in 10 minutes and let the fun begin and of course the beer has to be Schell's Lake Maid and with every bottle say "Normally I wouldn't eat (insert type of fish here) but for Miss (insert type of fish here) I'd make the exception.  You really need to go to the website to understand my lame attempt at humor.  Also you have to remember that I started that company's myspace site and refused to sell.  I am a moron. 
-Be a Lions fan so the meal will be more depressing
-Hit your brother-in-law in the face while playing a pick-up game of basketball
-Discuss how your daughter will be starting college and your granddaughter will be graduating from kindergarten this school year and you are only 30 years old.
-Become a militant NASCAR fan and demand that NASCAR be deemed a legitimate competitive sport
-Go shopping
-Tell everyone that you got a new job with TSA and grope yourself at the table and say that you are just practicing
-When you see a family member drinking Starbucks declare your hatred for the chain and say they are responsible for the collapse of the economy but laud their use of this song in their new commercials because Matt Pond PA really rocks.

-Two words: pro-wrestling reenactments
-Tell everyone that you are a "master baster"
-Let this be your family meal:

"Give us this day, our daily white bread."
-This is your meal:


I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving or as some members of my family call it...Thanks-Taking.