Whoever didn’t think that Wisconsin could be a place for serious politics never took a U.S. history course.  SO yeah, like my pulse said, I talked to this guy this evening returning from the protests.  He was wearing a shirt that they were all sporting around the capitol so I asked him how the protesting was.  He told me some interesting things that aren’t being mentioned on the news.  I’m not going to mention because I don’t want goons busting down my door.  He did tell me that with the proposed cuts on top of what is already taken out for taxes, he’d be losing AT LEAST 50% of what he currently takes home.  Oh and he was told that he should just get a second job…yeah.  It’s fucked up and it won’t end soon and won’t end well.  Happier stuff…ROUND-UP.  Some material may be NSFW and NSFL.

Snooki, yes I’m saying Snooki once again because a few people were offended by the term “cum dumpster” but then the truth hurts, sent this Valentine to her boyfriend.  As much as I dislike her, that is a nice gesture and a much better Valentine than the one I got from my girlfriend or anyone here on Xanga…sigh.

I said I needed happy news but this isn’t happy news.  A rumor is running around the interwebz that Steve Jobs has pancreatic cancer and might have less than a month to live.  They are saying that he was once 175lbs but is now down to 130lbs.  Well you never know with that stuff.  I had a doctor that was diagnosed and died two weeks later.  Patrick Swayze was diagnosed and was told he had weeks to live but ended up living an extra year or so.  I hope he squares Apple away and spends time with his loved ones and tells my friends who have ipods why they need a nuclear reactor to keep it charged for over an hour.

Oh sweet Lord please God no!  Two were enough.  Please God make it stop!  If we want a Sex and the City with them in their current state we know where to go…it’s called Golden Girls.

Rod Stewart and his wife Penny Lancaster welcomed a new baby into the world this week.  They had a son and named him Aiden.  He is Rod’s 8th child and as a reminder Rod is 66.  I hope they all live happily ever after.  I wanted to include this for a certain Xangan that always offers kind words.  Oh and maybe they can explain when Rod started to look like Barry Manilow.

There has been an outbreak of Legionnaire’s Disease at the Playboy Mansion.  I know, that’s not the disease I expected either.  This disease is a bacteria that thrives in air conditioning units and warm water and the conditions are fever, violent headaches, and respiratory infections.  So far 80 people affiliated with a party at the mansion have been treated for Legionnaire’s.  Come on, that place is a cesspool for disease.  More semen died in the grotto’s pool than seaman that drowned during World War II.  Even if they advertised serving chicken laced with Ebola, SARS, and cholera, there would still be guys lined up around the block to go there.

Paris Hilton turned 30 this week and it’s great to see that she hasn’t let “old age” deter her from dressing like she is on the cast of Toddlers and Tiaras.

I bet you wish you were Paris Hilton after learning that her boyfriend bought her this $375,000 Lexus.  It has 552 horsepower and can hit a top speed of 202mph.  She should really try to get those ponies running in the Hollywood Hills especially when it’s raining.

Pam Anderson is suing her exboyfriend, a real estate tycoon, who promised her a brand new condo in Las Vegas.  She is suing for $1million because he didn’t deliver.  She shouldn’t be wasting her time because by the time the case is settled it could be a year later and she is living on borrowed time with being ravaged by Hepatitis C.  She should take time to study time travel so she can go back to 1995 and remain the biggest star of the time for eternity.   But maybe that is why she needs the money.

Olivia Munn was at a Knicks game this week and she took time to like a lollipop in a sexually suggestive manner.  It actually worked because it got the Knicks fans to stop booing and chanting that they wanted LeBron and Carmello for a few minutes.

Earlier this week, the National Enquirer ran a story about how O.J. Simpson has been living in fear in his prison cell.  They claimed that he was brutally attacked by Aryans in prison after they heard him bragging about having sex with white women.  The Enquirer also claimed that the attack was so severe that O.J. had to spend three weeks in the prison infirmary.  For a second there I was beginning to believe in karma but then good old Harvey Levin and his crew at Twenty Mile Zone burst that bubble and said that O.J. wasn’t attacked.  TMZ reported that prison guards shared the story with O.J. and he laughed and he said he hadn’t laughed that hard since October 3rd of 1995.  Look it up and then you’ll get the joke.

This is what Miley Cyrus wore to the Grammy’s.  My my my my…how classy!  I know I should have put this in my links post but it’s here.  If you want to see more cleavage from the Grammy’s click here.  I’m a pig…I know.  I’m also very lonely and could use someone to keep me company this weekend.

This photo of Miley was taken a little later in the week.  Looks like she partied a little too hard or her hair has magical hiding powers.

Billy Ray Cyrus conducted an interview with GQ and basically came off as a sad little hillbilly.  He said that Miley being in Hannah Montana destroyed their family and that if he could, he’d erase it.  He also claimed he’s not making money off Miley and he didn’t attend her 18th birthday party because it was at a 21 and over bar.  Umm isn’t that bad parenting?  He actually admitted that he was a bad parent because he tried to be Miley’s friend instead of father.  I read the interview and I have to say I actually believe him.  The only thing I am upset about is that he hasn’t apologized for the mullet.

Hey, it appears as if Matthew McConaghey finally picked up his copy of “How to Score with Chicks” by godfatherofgreenbay.  Oh he’ll be beating them off soon just like I have to beat off every night.


OK CNN, FOX, MSNBC, you can all stop your coverage because the story is officially over.  Lindsay supports the Egyptians and the Jews.  It’s good to see her taking a break from crime to let the world know what she thinks via Twitter.  I can’t wait for her thoughts on Wisconsin.  “Derp…it’s cold”…yeah, that’s about it.

I’m shocked Kim didn’t shill out her crappy reality series after that by saying “Now they can enjoy the freedom they deserve…by watching me and my dead behind the eyes self interact with my halfwit sisters as we make money for doing absolutely nothing only on E!.”  I think Snooki was tangled up in meetings at the Pentagon so she couldn’t weigh-in.

This is how Lady Gaga entered the Grammy’s.  Oh how shocking!  That’s so cutting edge and it totally makes her a better singer.  Gaga claims to have spent 72 hours in that egg before the Grammy’s.  Umm where did she crap and piss?  Oh well.  Last year it was a meat dress and this year it is an egg.  She is definitely raising the bar when it comes to fake publicity.  Hopefully next year she has to light herself on fire to get press.

Kate Moss was spotted this week at a sex shop.  She happened to be very drunk at the time.  People witnessed her spraying a bottle of strawberry flavored lube all over the floor and then picking up a large black dildo and spreading lube on it and then fellating it.  Usually the antics of a horny supermodel turn me on but then again no one wants to bang a bag of bones.

Justin Bieber gave quite an interesting interview with Rolling Stone.  When asked about sex he said, “I don’t think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them. I think you should just wait for the person you’re…in love with.”  He also said this about politics: “I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”  I hope he realizes there are two Koreas.  No wonder kids love him; he’s dumb as a rock.  Now the comments that have got him in hot water are what he thinks about abortion: “I really don’t believe in abortion It’s like killing a baby?” In cases of rape: “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”  You hear that ladies? It was all part of God’s plan that your rapist impregnated you so there’s no use crying over spilled milk.  I know why he doesn’t believe in abortion.  Think of his song “baby” maybe he’s confused and thinks that his song won’t get played if people abort babies.  Oh well, what does he know, he’s only 16 which is why I have no clue why they asked him this stuff.

Justin was at the premiere of his movie in London and popped behind the concessions counter.  You know that is the first normal thing he’s done that 16 year old normally do.

Esperanza Spalding are the most hated words in Justin Bieber’s and his fans’ vocabulary.  They are even more hated than “descended testicles”.  This is what some of Bieber’s fans did to her wikipedia page.  They claimed her middle name was Quesadilla and called her a “fucking reatard” who needs to “go die in a hole”.  Maybe it wasn’t a Bieber fan, it was a school night after all.  I wonder who many hate letters she received that was scribbled on Lisa Frank writing pads.

How the mighty have fallen!  Jon Gosslein was a computer tech and then a reality star and now he’s installing solar panels for a living.  I guess that’s better than being married to Kate.  He finally got a job because those Ed Hardy shirts don’t pay for themselves.

Last week I said there was a controversy with the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated.  People behind the scenes said that Brooklyn Decker got the cover but apparently they changed their minds and went with Irina Shayk.  So instead of the blonde with big boobs they went with the brunette with big boobs.  GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Uncle Leo passed away this week.  Len Lesser who played one of my favorite Seinfeld characters, Uncle Leo, passed away this week at the age of 88.  He had pneumonia and had survived cancer.  He was a fighter.  He had hundreds of credits but some of my favorites were his bit roles on Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Just Shoot Me.  I just hope God let him in heave because Leo had that bad habit of stealing and also those eyebrows make him look angry.  Oh and when he got to heaven God said, “Leo, hello!”

Frankie Muniz, the kid who played Malcolm in Malcolm in the Middle, allegedly put a gun to his head and threatened to shoot himself during a fight with his girlfriend Elycia Turnbow.  This of course was after he supposedly punched her in the back of the head.  Elycia told the police that they were talking about their past loves and he got upset, pushed her into a wall and then punched her.  He then held her down while he had a gun to his head and she got free and called one of the members of Frankie’s band.  Frankie said that Elycia came home drunk and punched him and he never put a gun to his head.  I don’t know but I’m sort of shocked that Frankie has been halfway decent but this will just get him listed among the childhood stars who fell from grace.  Also, hard to believe but Agent Cody Banks is in a band.  The police issued Frankie a warning.  A warning…that’s it.  He supposedly punched her and threw her into a wall and all he get’s is a warning.  God, it’s great to be white.

Florence Henderson turned 77 this week.  Hmmm I always knew Mrs. Brady was freaky.

Emma Watson was spotted out on the town and her nipple made a guest appearance.  How embarrassing!  Now the world knows she has nipples.

One of Charlie Sheen’s skanks, Kacey Jordan, sent him these messages.  Why is she thinking of “taking care of it”?  She could have a goldmine in her uterus.  She gives birth, tells Charlie the baby is his and she is set for the rest of her disease-riddled life.

Speaking of Carlos, he was on my favorite sports program numerous times this week.  Charlie was a phone-in guest on the Dan Patrick Show and he had a lot to say.  Charlie talked about how he went to the set of Two and a Half Men but they refused to let him work.  The actual quote is better: “They said, ‘You get ready and we’ll get ready.’ And I got ready and went back and nobody’s there. I don’t know what to tell you … I’m here and I’m ready. They’re not. Bring it, you know?” He also had some creepy things to say about getting sober: “Nit pick, nit pick, but I don’t think [the clause] covers, ‘Let us totally dominate and interfere with your personal life.’ I have a contract. They said, ‘Get your act together,’ and I did.” “I heal really quickly, but I also unravel pretty quickly. So get me right now, guys. Get me right now!” He also said this about why he smokes crack: “Boredom. Wanting to make things better – whether it’s real or imagined. I was sober for five years a long time ago and was just bored out of my tree.”  The best part of the show was when Charlie talked about his sports memorabilia collection.  I don’t know where to begin with that but the highlight is the 1927 World Series ring belonging to Babe Ruth as well as the contract from the Red Sox sending Babe Ruth to the Yankees.  INCREDIBLE!  I’d fear that he’d destroy that stuff with all his drug use.  His first visit stemmed from the people at the Dan Patrick Show playing a sound bite of Charlie visiting the UCLA baseball team’s practice.  The coach asked Charlie to give a motivation speech and he simply said, “Don’t smoke crack and drink chocolate milk.”  In another call-in Charlie offered this advice to Lindsay Lohan: “I have some things I think she should consider, cause I don’t tell anybody what to do. Work on your impulse control … just try and think things through a little bit before you do them.”  POT KETTLE BLACK!  Next thing you know, he’ll be offering her acting tips.

Video section
Christina Aguilera followed up her epic Super Bowl performance by making a splash at the Grammy’s.  She fell down.

Amy Winehouse gave quite the performance in Dubai.  she was scheduled to perform 9 songs but only made it through 6 and lost the audience after 3. 

Millions of people rejoiced as they saw Justin Bieber shot on CSI.


I’m on that map.  Are you with me?  Actually my town is on that map so AWESOME!