TEN THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF 
1.  I chew my fingernails
2.  I can’t remember my birthday so that is why people forget it this year.
3.  I am not the largest cephalopod on earth.
4.  I never have made a girl fart through silk but it is a goal
5.  I cry when I watch certain movies.
6.  Even though I am 6’2” and even though some consider that tall, I feel short.
7.  I am so Raven
8.  I think I’m addicted to the internet because I’ve started using internet lingo in my regular speaking. 
9.  Even though I don’t display it, I am rather musical.
10.  Lately I’ve been seeing how long I can go in a day without speaking English.  Typing is another story.

NINE THINGS YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT RECENTLY
1.  What would the world be like without me and would it be better off?
2.  I think I should finally tell her how I feel.
3.  No, I won’t say anything because I like her in my life as a friend and don’t want to lose that.
4.  Boobs
5.  Why do people enjoy anallingus
6.  Because I’m part German, I demand an NBA championship ring and Czechoslovakia.
7.  Why are people so enamored by reality TV?  Your life is reality and there is no way I’d watch my life on TV because it’s boring or at least parts of it are boring and not TV worthy.
8.  Why do people de-friend me on facebook?  Oh well, no loss but seriously I’m not that difficult to love.
9.  Why am I single?

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART
1.  Give me attention
2.  Laugh at my jokes
3.  Like me for me
4.  Dress up like a cheerleader
5.  Do math
6.  Boobs
7.  Dance like they dance in the Charlie Brown cartoons.
8.  Wear that one perfume I like

SEVEN FAVORITE SONGS YOU’VE HAD
1.  Wish You were Here- Pink Floyd
2.  Keep Me in Your Heat for a While- Warren Zevon
3.  Gigantic- The Pixies
4.  Army of Me- Bjork
5.  25 Minutes to Go- Pearl Jam
6.  Nothing Man- Pearl Jam
7.  10,000 Lakes- Kid Dakota

SIX THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU GO TO BED 
1.  Laugh at Darko Milicic.
2.  Watch Adult Swim.
3.  Eat some fruit
4.  Check my phone
5.  Brush teeth.
6.  Ponder my future.

FIVE THINGS YOU DO ON YOUR DAYS OFF. 
1.  Xanga
2.  Boobs
3.  Weep
4.  Vidja games
5.  Realize that this will not find me love

FOUR THINGS YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW. 
1.  Listening to Family Guy
2.  Braiding my chest hair
3.  Declaring my love of Dirk Nowitzski
4.  Trying to figure out how to play the sad walking away music from The Incredible Hulk

THREE THINGS YOU’RE SCARED OF
1.  Birds
2.  Dying alone
3.  Kidney failure

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE 
1.  Be loved
2.  Participate in a month long intergalactic orgy

ONE CONFESSION
1.  The word "love" doesn't necessarily mean shit to me.

And this time the hero won

Ja, Dirk is gut.

He's greater than me.  It's hard to believe that I have same number of NBA championship rings as LeBron.

Even Adam Morrison has more rings than LeBron.

And of course Dan Gilbert had to chime in.

How's that dynasty working for you?