Well it was an interesting day yesterday.  I seem to have lost track of time because I swear that I wasn't here for 24 hours.  I guess the disconnect is because I haven't slept.  I tried sleeping but my neighbors must have hired a mariachi band because that's all I heard last night.  Then I dozed off but a cat fell from out of the sky and scared me so I have been awake since and I must add that the ESPN 30 for 30 is so addicting.  They show all these sports documentaries.  Currently I'm watching one about the New York Cosmos.  Last night I watched one about the USFL and another about this high school wrestling program.  Anyway...time for the round-up.

Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?  It actually looks like the guy in the back did and it wasn't pleasant.  Rock took time to go on Splash Mountain this week and he did this epic pose.  I normally dislike the guy but this was pretty cool in my book.

This is Stephen Moyer.  He plays Vampire Bill on True Blood.  He is married to his True Blood co-star Anna Paquin.  He was interviewed this week because the new season of True Blood premiers on Sunday.  Moyer said that he loves his wife because female fans like to ask him to autograph their breasts and bite their necks and breasts.  He said that Anna approves and sometimes it makes her feisty and has led to threesomes.  God...some guys have all the luck.

This is for a lady here who once said I should post more of this guy.  His name is Joe Manganiello.  He plays Alcide on True Blood.  Remember the new season premiers this Sunday.  If it didn't I wouldn't have posted these last two photos so I guess you should consider yourself lucky despite me being unlucky in that I don't have a wife who lets me bite strange women's boobs.

Why, hello there!  Selena, did you go up a cup size in the past 2 weeks?  How could that happen?  I guess it's just luck.

Even Justin Bieber notices her cup runnething over.  This photo caused a bit of controversy because of his shirt.  He's wearing a shirt that features a photo of Kelly from Saved by the Bell.  The original series ended when Justin was still hanging in his dad's sac but the show is timeless.  I think it's both nice and sad but the saddest thing is that Justin looks like he is trying to enter a Don Johnson from Miami Vice look-a-like contest. 

Rosie O'Donnell was at O'Hare airport in Chicago this week on a delay and she found herself in one of the bars.  She saw two young women drinking at the bar and she took it upon herself to make all those miserable around her by scolding these girls for underage drinking.  The bartender just gave her an incredulous look and the girls told her they were 24 and 27.  She didn't backtrack but preached about the dangers of underage drinking.  Rosie got caught doing a neg.  You know, where you make snide and backhanded comments at someone in order to pick them up.  I have a tip for you, Rosie.  We're a lot a like and the best way to pick up women is not to discourage them from drinking but it's to buy them drink after drink and then encourage them to drink some more.

One of the members of Jackass, Ryan Dunn died this week at the age of 33.  He got drunk, got into his Porsche, got it up to 130-140mph and crashed.  He was two and a half times over the legal limit.  People are saying this is such a sad thing.  I have mixed emotions.  I think the saddest thing about this is that the thing he'll best be remembered for is shoving a toy car up his ass.

Bam Margera has been having a Twitter war with Roger Ebert over Ebert's comments but this is really strange to say...Steve-O has been the voice of reason in Dunn's death.  When asked about Dunn's death, Steve-O talked about how that would have been him if it wasn't for an intervention that Johnny Knoxville staged: "Johnny Knoxville and a bunch of our ‘Jackass’ crew staged an intervention and they forcibly locked me up in a psychiatric ward.  When I got to the hospital I was so belligerent that they changed my status to 2 weeks. So the 3 days went to 2 weeks and with that kind of time on my hands in a psych ward I eventually came to the conclusion that I really needed to make a change.”  He also talks about doing drugs with Lindsay Lohan and Mike Tyson: "I’ve done a lot of drugs with Lindsay, but everybody knows that. Lindsay was over at my house one time and she was in my bathroom probably selfishly not sharing drugs. But while she was in there, I pulled out my camera and I got this crazy footage. And some time passed and later I go in my bathroom and I find that she left her wallet, so I sent her this text and I said Lindsay, you left your wallet in my bathroom. This was when she was in rehab and she told me to bring it to her. So I meet her in the driveway of this Wonderland Rehab that she’s in and I make her sign a release form of the footage that I have.”  [Me and] Mike Tyson locked ourselves in the bathroom in this big mansion … so here I am with Mike Tyson locked in this bathroom in this big mansion just doing piles of cocaine and I looked at him and said ‘you know Mike, I’m not a racist guy, but I would like to say I consider myself a nigger. And we had a big discussion over this pile of cocaine. My point was that if we could take the color out of this word then we would really diffuse it as a weapon. Mike Tyson said the definition of that word is the people who use it and I thought that was very insightful.”  Who knew Steve-O could be so insightful?

Recently an underground illegal gambling ring was broken up by the FBI.  One of the main players at this ring was Toby Maguire but Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matt Damon were also clients.  Toby is in a bit of trouble because the money he used came from a guy who acquired it through a Ponzi scheme.  He will have to answer to the FBI and could face major losses.  This investor staked Toby $300,000.  Some of the people inside this ring talked about the stars playing ability.  They said that despite his work in Rounders, Damon never won and if Leo lost money he went crazy.  Toby has been described as a frequent player and during the three years that this ring was running he won $1million a month which translates to $36million from poker.  See, kids, it can be done.  You can make a living playing cards.  Maybe that's why he's no longer doing quality movies.  He's devoted all his time to poker.

Rihanna announced on Twitter this week that she is back to dating Chris Brown.  Whatever...Chris Brown is a bitch and Rihanna lost all her credibility for her new woman empowerment movement that she's been working on with her recent songs and I enjoy Reuben sandwiches.  You may think that doesn't make sense but with dating a psychopath she had better have sandwiches ready no matter what.

Pink and Cary Hart "debuted" their child Willow this week on their websites because they were being stalked by the paparazzi and felt that if they didn't show off their child soon they feared harm would befall her.  Pink said that the paparazzi were demanding photos because they wanted exclusive rights to the photos.  That is so ridiculous.  Why do magazines and other publications do that?  Eventually, a kid will get seriously hurt by stampeding photographers.

Peter Falk passed away at the age of 83 this week.  He is best known for his work as Columbo.  He's now wearing that rain coat and solving crimes in heaven.  Falk will be greatly missed.

Ladies, Mel Gibson is back on the singles scene.  He's looking for love and he's got a new romantic movie coming out.  This guy makes racial slurs, beats up women, has 15 kids, and is a religious nut.  AND WOMEN STILL WANT TO BANG HIM!  Sometimes I wish I could be a movie star.  You can do anything and still get laid.

Steven Spielberg demanded that Megan Fox be fired from the third Transformers movie after her comments comparing director Michael Bay to Hitler.  Megan is an idiot.  She should never bite the hand that feeds and in this case it's the Jewish controlled movie industry.  In an interview he did with GQ, he laid out all sorts of complaints against her.  Megan was there for rehearsals. But she seemed like an actress who didn’t want to be a part of it. She was saying she wanted to, but she wasn’t acting like it.  She was constantly on her BlackBerry and would insult workers on the set.  She also has creepy thumbs.  Well I think Megan Fox's career may be over soon.  The closest she'll come to Hollywood is at the local Redbox.

Lindsay Lohan violated her parole once again.  She tested positive for alcohol and she can't have any in her blood while on house arrest.  You could get pregnant right now, drink heavily all 9 months, let a horse kick your baby in the head, hold it underwater for 5 minutes and your baby would still not be as dumb as Lindsay.  She probably got drunk at the BBQ she threw on her rooftop.  Lindsay has claimed there was no alcohol at the party however photos have been turned over to the court revealing that people were in fact drinking at her party.  Is there anything she won't lie about?  Can you name just one thing?  This can't be a surprise since she was sentenced to house arrest...by herself...without supervision.  An alcoholic was punished and made to live 20 ft. from her fridge.  Lindsay had a court appearance and got off because the previous judge only ordered drug testing and not alcohol testing.  She was wrongly tested.  A new judge said that Lindsay is to drink no more alcohol and that when friends come to visit she can only have 1 visitor at a time.  The best part is that they won't test her anymore because there is no court order for it.  Can we just scrap our legal system and borrow Iran's?  It'd be much more satisfying to call her a whore and throw rocks at her.  Of course Lindsay has fired back and has let everyone know that the reason she tested positive for alcohol is because of the tea she drinks.  It's a fermented tea called kombucha which contains .05% alcohol.  Yes, when I think of Lindsay Lohan I picture her sitting by a fire sipping on tea which she is only drinking because she's out of vodka and her drug dealer is out watching Super 8 which I should totally go see today.

Leann rimes took time to post this photo of herself in a bikini on Twitter to prove that she isn't starving herself.  Really I could care less if she looks like Skeletor's sister.   What freaks me out is the tattoo above her "special area".  Ladies, if you ever think of getting a tattoo in that location...DON'T!  No matter what you have tattooed there it will always look like a guy autographed it with his dick and signed it with, "My work here is done."

Kim Kardashian took time out of her busy schedule of doing _______ to go to the doctor and have an x-ray of her ass taken to prove once and for all that her ass is all natural.  Great...what a waste of medical equipment.  Seriously, couldn't the people who did that and consulted with her do something like save someone's life?  This is further proof that the medical industry in America is fucked up.

I'd like to eat one of Katy Perry's kisses.  In an interview in Rolling Stone she had this to say about her boobs: "I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11. And God answered that prayer above and beyond, by, like, 100 times, until I was like, 'Please, stop, God. I can't see my feet anymore. Please stop!' I was a lot more rectangular then. I didn't understand my body.  Someone in sixth grade called me 'Over-the-shoulder boulder holder.' I didn't know I could use them. So, what I did was, I started taping them down. How long did I tape them down for? Probably until I was about 19. And, no, I don't have any psychological pain because of it."  So praying to God gets you what you want?  Let's try: "Dear God, please stop Katy Perry from talking about her tits every time she hasn't been in the press for five minutes or has something to promote. Also, if you wouldn't mind, do you think you could throw in the occasional wardrobe malfunction? Seeing Katy's tits is almost as impossible as seeing Big Foot or Michael Moore walk past a bakery and not go in.  Also, could I have a bigger penis?  Thanks."

This week Heidi Montag decided that she needed some attention so she told people in an interview that she works out 14 hours a day.  She said she started working out that many hours so she could attend a pool party because she thought she was fat and couldn't believe she had ballooned up to 130lbs.  Can we agree that she needs to be put out of her misery?  I have an idea!  Since she's an attention whore, I'll tape a red light to the top of my shotgun and I'll tell her I want to take her photo...smile at the red light!

George Clooney broke up with Elisabetta Canalis.  You hear that, ladies, he's single!  Rumor has it that he broke up with her after hearing her comments that she made last week where she said that one day she hoped to marry him.  And so begins the rumors that he's gay and all the women boasting that they are the one who will tame Clooney.

This is Robert Hutchinson.  He is best known for his work on Lost and The Green Mile.  He is 51 years old.  Back in May he married his 16 year old girlfriend, aspiring country singer Courtney Alexis Stodden.  The couple had this to say about their marriage: "We're aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial. But we're very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless."  There's a difference between true love being ageless and a beauty pageant reject who had to get a permission slip from her parents to get married and who can't buy her own ticket to an R-rated movie.  I bet Hugh Hefner is jealous that he got beat to the playground because she seems like the type of girl who won't run when an old dude comes calling.

This week a fire department responded to a fire at Courtney Love's apartment.  The fire department said that curtains in her place caught on fire and that Courtney was burned on her hands and arms but refused medical treatment.  So what caused the curtains to burn?  My guesses are that either she was trying to make a meth lab out of a Jiffy Pop container or she was heating some raccoon blood to make ink so that she could write emotional poetry.

Clarence Clemons of The E-Street Band died this week at the age of 69.  I was a casual fan and enjoyed some of their work.  Clemons will be greatly missed.

Remember the mess that was Chris Crocker?  Well apparently he's cleaned himself up and no longer cries under bedsheets imploring us to leave Britney alone and according to his tumblr, he's an aspiring porn star.  You probably don't want to click this link.  Trust me, you don't.  I clicked it when I saw a story running about how he has a new career.  I was shocked.

"And then I said, 'Stick it here,' and sure enough I got the job!"  How else could Cameron Diaz get work?

Bristol Palin's book is coming out and excerpts were released and of course those that were released were of her account of how she lost her virginity.  She claims that she went on a camping trip with Levi Johnston and some friends.  They got drunk and Bristol couldn't remember a thing and heard Levi brag to his friends about what happened.  Bristol got upset and talked things through with Levi and they said they wouldn't have sex until they were married but of course that didn't work out.  She found out she was pregnant and told her parents and they were supportive but when she told Levi he said, "Better be a fucking boy."  They broke up when Bristol found out that Levi was cheating on her.  Levi has a book coming out that will reveal his side of the story...CAN'T WAIT!  I like how Bristol basically says it was date rape and then thinks of Jesus and then goes back to sex.  She has set herself up as a role model to young girls who feel pressured to have sex but she got drunk, banged a guy with a mullet in a tent, and now she's doing everything she can to make herself and us believe that she's not a slut. 

Amy Winehouse launched a European tour last weekend and it was so bad.  She mumbled her way through a few songs and was booed off the stage.  A few days later her publicists announced that the tour had been canceled.  I'm starting to get the feeling that all the people around her are trying to squeeze every last cent out of her before she disappears.  It's so sad.

Video Section
Here is Weird Al's parody of Lady Gaga's Born this Way.

Remember when I said Britney Spears was single and ready to mingle last week?  Well here she is in concert giving some guy a lapdance.

Jason Segel and John Krasinski crashed a bachelorette party and sang karaoke.

And if you haven't seen it by now, here's Tom Hanks on Univision.

Hmmm another 3 celebrities died this week...weird.  I hope everyone has a great weekend.