Oh my god it's hot.  time for the round-up

Shia LaBeouf was interviewed by Details magazine and boy did he give some details.  He basically said he boned Megan Fox while they were filming Transformers 2: "Look, you're on the set for six months, with someone who's rooting to be attracted to you, and you're rooting to be attracted to them. I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen." Shia is delusional.  There is no such thing as human chemistry on Transformers 2.  They were robots.  He was asked if he knew Megan Fox was with Brian Austin Green at the time they were together.  Shia said "I don't know" twelve times.  This is pretty hilarious when I read last week that Megan said she planned on renewing her vows with Green and Shia is saying he tapped that.  In all honesty she could be dating Batman and I'd take my chances.  Megan fired back but not in the way you'd think.  She said that while they were filming and when she was hooking up with Shia that she and Brian Austin Green were on a break.  I assume by break she means blowing Shia while Green is at home crying.  So I guess this all teaches us something.  If we are ever accused of cheating we can use five words to get us out of trouble: WE WERE NOT TOGETHER THEN!

Ricky Gervais turned 50 this week.  I don't know why but the photo scares me so let's talk about The Office.  I've heard a lot of interesting rumors regarding the next season.  There'll be three new workers, an assistant, an accountant and the new boss.  The thing with the boss is that the person they were going to have take over can't because of prior commitments.  The strangest name that has popped up as a replacement is James Gandolfini, the guy who played Tony Soprano.  I'd love for him to take over and he be Tony in the Witness Protection Program.

There is an email floating around written by some woman who is famous for being famous in Hollywood circulating about a sexual encounter she had with Quentin Tarantino.  I don't know if you can call what they did sex.  She claims he sucked her toes while he jerked off.  I knew he had a foot fetish and the best evidence for this is EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS MOVIES!  I really don't understand foot fetishes.  I just don't.  I can understand a lot of fetish but not the feet.  If you want to read the email, click here.

I think Child Protective Services need to remove Octo-Mom's children from her house immediately after reading this interview: "I hate the babies, they disgust me. My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them. The only way I can cope is to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Sometimes I sit there for hours and even eat my lunch sitting on the toilet floor. Anything to get peace and quiet. Some days I have thought about killing myself. I cannot cope.  Obviously I love them - but I absolutely wish I had not had them."  I don't know if I can blame her since 14 kids screaming in high pitched voices probably would get on my nerves as well.  I think that either she's saying this to get CPS to take away the kids or since her "sextape" didn't sell she is selling her stupidity instead or she's just plain crazy.  Just wait until they turn into teenagers.  The worst part about these kids being dysfunctional and damaged is that they will more than likely have dysfunctional and damaged kids by the time they turn 14. 

After New York state passed the gay marriage bill, Neil Patrick Harris took to twitter and announced that he's engaged to his partner David Burtka.  I'm jealous well not of a guy asking another guy to get married but a person getting married.  I want a girl to propose to me.  It will be so much easier that way and I could avoid potential jailtime.  I wonder if Doogie will have Vinnie walk him down the aisle or maybe Harold and Kumar.

Miley Cyrus wore this outfit in concert this week.  Is she 18 yet?  She is?  OK, dang, that is hot.

A national treasure, Mel Brooks, turned 85 this week.  If you don't know who he is you need to get a sense of humor.

Mel B, or Scary Spice, tweeted earlier this week that she saw her husband was passed out so she was going to take it upon herself to date rape him.  Then people got OFFENDED!  Of course they were offended.  They were offended because they realized they were following a former Spice Girl.  They may as well follow other relevant stars from the 90s like Kurt Cobain and River Phoenix.

Mariah Carey tweeted this photo of her daughter Monroe and claims that at 7 weeks she's already a diva.  I think Monroe will give Suri Cruise a run for her money in being the most spoiled kid in showbiz.

Hours after Lindsay Lohan was released from house arrest she made her way to a bar and got drunk.  I think it's safe to say at this point that Lindsay is alcoholic and she's living the alcoholic version of Groundhog Day.  She wakes up, there's a full bottle of Jack Daniels in front of her, and she drinks it.  It was about a week ago where she told a magazine that alcohol wasn't a part of her life anymore.  I wonder what happened in the past week to make her go from being sober to drunk.  I bet she's freaked out by the economy.

You know what Lenny Kravitz was saying on the phone?  LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!  I wonder how much space that takes up in his purse.  He probably shoves it down his front pocket to give the illusion of having a large unit.  Hmmm I think I need to get one for my cellphone.

Lady Gaga is getting sued and this time it looks pretty serious.  After the earthquake in Japan, she created a wristband with all the proceeds going to charity.  They actually all went to her.  She's facing racketeering charges now.    She charged $5 for a wristband, $4 for shipping, and 60cents for tax.  They claim that she inflated the shipping costs and refused to reveal how much of the cost goes to charity.  Can't she do anything original?  She's ripped off Madonna, David Bowie, and Grace Jones and now she's ripping off Japan.  Fuck the little monsters, Mothra and Godzilla ripped off Japan first.

Julia Roberts is a horrible person.  She is upset that her half-sister has gained weight.  Why doesn't Nancy just hire a personal trainer and a personal chef to help whip her into shape?  Oh yeah, Nancy isn't Julia Roberts.  When Nancy heard what Julia was saying behind her back she confronted her and Julia said she wouldn't have to say anything if Nancy took care of herself  and had self-respect.  What an egotistical bitch!  She thinks her sister's weight reflects badly on HER.  No one is going to judge you based on your sister's size.  They may judge you if you don't check out these things called razors.

Jessica Simpson staged an intervention for her sister Ashlee because people are worried about Ashlee's drinking problem.  People claim she's drinking 8 to 10 bottles of wine a day.  Can you blame her?  She's exiting a marriage with a guy who wore more make-up than she did and probably made out with more dudes than she has.  Like Jessica is one to criticize someone's drinking.  The next thing you'll tell me is that Chris Brown is teaching anger management classes.

I guess you can't keep an old dog down.  Hugh Hefner, despite being dumped just a couple of weeks ago, is dating again and this time he's dating Playmate Anna Sophia Berglund.  You can see what she's famous for here.  She's a little different from the usual woman Hef dates.  She is 24 days older than his former fiance.  It's nice to see he's growing up and dating older women.  The creepiest thing about this is that he started collecting Social Security benefits when she was 3 years old. 

Gwenyth Paltrow took time out of her busy schedule of being the most pretentious person on the planet to pose semi-nude.  As much as I can't stand her...fap fap fap.

Another national treasure, Gary Busey, celebrated a birthday this week.  He turned 67.  I think in this photo Gary is showing shock that he is 67 years old or maybe that's how he always looks.

OMG...that is just...wow.  I wonder if she ever had Alice serve crab cakes.  She said at the time she was lonely and took him home and in the morning she had little black things crawling all over her.  Lindsay sent her flowers and an apology letter.  He's dead so he can't really defend himself but this story is hilarious.  Now it seems that all politicians do is send pictures of their cocks to women.  And whenever I watch The Brady Bunch from now on I'll sing "Here's the story of a whorey lady who was itching something fierce".

Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig got married last weekend in a small private ceremony.  This was a shocker.  No one even knew they were dating.  I have a feeling it is for two purposes.  Craig has been dodging gay rumors ever since he took over as James Bond and said that because it's the 21st century he thinks James Bond should have a homosexual liason.  The other reason is that Darren Aronofsky probably cheated on Rachel Weisz with Natalie Portmann and his wedding invitation said "Take that, Aronofsky!"

Courtney Love has been kicked out of her boyfriend's house.  His name is Henry Allsopp and is the godson of Duchess Camilla.  Alas, Courtney Love will never be a member of the royal family.  You know they should just make her queen.  Lady Love will rule the world with a coke filled iron fist.

Chris Hansen, why don't you have a seat?  He was recently caught by National Enquirer in a video sting cheating on his wife with a 30 year old woman named Kristyn Caddela.  I bet they were just investigating predators.  I had a whole post written about the irony here. I wonder if he cried when he was caught.  I also wonder if this will be aired on MSNBC.

Charlie Sheen is putting up personal ads on Craigslist and they say "single white warlock".  The last of the goddesses left him.  Charlie was heartbroken and he was so heartbroken that he was spotted at a bar with three women all from three different countries.  He took them home.  WINNING!  There's a rumor circulating that they have written and planned the new season of Two and a Half Men and Charlie is written off in an unoriginal way.  People are claiming that Charlie's character, Charlie, will die in a car accident.  Ashton Kutcher will end up buying Charlie's house and somehow Allen and Jake will live with him probably as squatters.  Jimmy Kimmel had a segment where they asked children how Charlie's character should be written off the series.  Hilarity ensued.  There's also a rumor circulating that TBS has approached Charlie to do a new sitcom.  I hope that's true because I can do without another Tyler Perry produced show.  Sadly, TBS denies the reports.  Remember when Charlie said he was getting a talk show from HBO?  Yeah this is probably the same deal.  Sheen also revealed in the recent issue of Sports Illustrated that he did steroids during the filming of Major League.  He said it helped him pitch and that his fastball went from 79mph to 85mph.  Is that even worth it?  So an unhinged lunatic who throws temper tantrums gets women who put things in their butts for a living and injects steroids for a sports movie just to pretend he's a pro baseball player?  Next you're going to say I have a small penis when my last girlfriend told me that 4 inches is big because she and 95% of women have shallow vaginas.

Bristol Palin flip-flopped just like her mommy.  Now she is saying that Levi Johnston didn't date rape her when he took her virginity when she had been drinking.  She said that she did play a part but still blamed Levi for her drinking.  Huh?  How can a person blame someone else for something they do?  Doesn't Sarah Palin preach that people need to practice personal accountability?  Maybe Bristol should actually listen to her mom.

A person behind the scenes said that when Maria Schriver found out that Arnold Schwarzenegger had been cheating and fathered a child with the housekeeper, she approached Oprah to seek her advice on what to do.  Now Arnold is furious because Oprah told Maria to dump the creep (actual words from Oprah 3:16) and it was made official today, Maria Schriver filed for divorce.  I don't know who to side with here.  Do I go with the misogynistic weightlifter turned subpar actor or the woman who has brainwashed more women than De Beers?

OK, here's a story and I think I may have scooped everyone.  Alyssa Milano may be pregnant.  Wow!  I am such a great journalist.

A wax figure of Alicia Keys was unveiled at Madame Tussande's this week.  Some people complained that Alicia Keys is too white and not black enough.  WTF?  Why does it matter?  I thought this was 2011 and Obama got rid of race.  People should just be like me and embrace the Crayola lifestyle.

In an interview this week, Aaron Carter claimed that he had quite an interesting relationship with Michael Jackson.  Carter claims that during their friendship Jackson fed him wine when Carter was only 15 and then when the wine didn't do the trick Jackson gave him cocaine.  Carter then said there was other stuff that Jackson did but wouldn't discuss that.  I seem to remember when Michael Jackson died everyone said he was a saint.  How do they explain this?  Clean, wholesome fun?  But MJ couldn't do that, he's perfect.  Now I fully understand Aaron Carter's problem with drugs.

Well I hope you enjoyed and I hope you have a great weekend.  Salute a flag and thank a veteran and if you aren't into that stuff eat a hotdog and shoot some fireworks and if you aren't into that stuff well you need to get a life.