Day: July 28, 2011

  • Terrible Tattoo Thursday

    It's that time again people.  Look at these tattoos and then comment in the box below.

    This is Sam Shields member of your Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers.  Instead of just wearing an actual Super Bowl ring, Shields went out and got the Super Bowl ring tattooed on his neck.  Well that's nice but what is he going to do when the Packers win this year's Super Bowl and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that?

    This is the perfect tattoo for a Jesus and Superman fan.  Maybe it is a commentary that Superman is based on Jesus.

    I've always wanted a pair of Jordans but I couldn't do this although a tattoo would probably be cheaper than the actual shoe.

    I think a pair of Pumas would be cheaper than the tattoos.

    Well it's nice that you got in on your foot because that way when they do shitty which is usually always you can cover it up with shoes or maybe a spectacular tattoo of a shoe.

    I guess this one isn't so crappy other than the placement.  If you wear shoes, how can you see it?

    If only people on Xanga embraced this tattoo.

    Oh I'll stay gold alright, I'll also stay away from those thighs.  I don't know how I could be romantic with 4 elderly women staring at me.


    I'd love to mock these tattoos but I think I'd need to get two homemade robots to help me laugh.  You know if I was getting romantic with the girl I'd have a difficult time because I'd fear that a guy and two robots would be mocking my efforts.

    That's about all LeBron will be remembered for thus far into his career.

    Zombie Christ will forgive your sins and then he will eat your brains.

    The alien head is awesome.  It looks like a slightly deflated basketball.  Oh and the wording is a nice touch.  Did this guy have a first grader do the writing?  Seriously how is this a cool tattoo?

    The perfect way to remember your friends.  Tattooing their initials on your shoulder on something that at first glance looks like a resivoir tipped condom.

    I hope reading this blog is relaxing for you.  If not, we don't you have a seat.  Yes, that is a real tattoo.

    Unfuckwithable....wow that is a word that I might have used when I was 14 and not to mention this is a tattoo I might have thought was worth getting when I was 14.  Way to raise the bar of society there, Junior.

  • Movie Twists

    Since there really isn't any worthwhile programming on TV during the summer and because I can't be in the sun or heat (stupid medicine and medical history) I have been reviewing movies.  I have always enjoyed movies with a twist and I usually go out of my way to find movies with a twist at the end.  These are some of my favorite twists in movies.  If you don't want to have anything spoiled about a movie you might want to see just go to the bottom of the post now and leave eprops. 

    I'm not kidding, there's spoilers in here.

    1. The Sixth Sense (Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time)
    2. Saw (Jigsaw is the corpse in the bathroom)
    3. The Usual Suspects (Kevin Spacey made the whole story up and is the real Keyser Soze)
    4. Fight Club (Tyler Durden and Jimmy the Narrator are the same person)
    5. Oldboy (his romance is his daughter)
    6. Memento (Teddy made Lenny look for a non-existent killer, he himself is Sammy Jenkins)
    7. Psycho (Norman Bates' mother is dead, he has a split personality)
    8. The Prestige (Christian Bale's character has a twin and Hugh Jackman's character performed a trick by cloning himself and killing his clones)
    9. Se7en (John Doe's last 2 murders were his own and the one of Brad Pitt's character, his wife's head was in the box)
    10. One flew over the cuckoo's nest (Jack Nicholson's character was murdered by the Chief)
    11. Arlington Road (Jeff Bridges' character was set up by Tim Robbins' one, who ended up to be a terrorist)
    12. Cube Zero (The genius becomes a dullard like the one in Cube 1)
    13. The Butterfly Effect Alternate ending (Evan strangles himself in his mother's body before he was born)
    14. The Village (The monsters are fake, the movie plays in a contemporary world)
    15. Shutter Island (The make-believe detective turns out to be a patient who is experimented to let him accept the past)
    16.  The Crying Game (She's a man, man)
    17.  Transformers 3 (Optimus Prime is actually working for the Decepticons and the Transformers series is ruined forever)
    18.  Goodfellas (Paulie and Vinnie Knew Tommy killed Billy Batts the whole time)
    19.  Star Wars (Darth Vader is Luke and Leia's father)
    20.  Jacob's Ladder (Near death experience all the time, Tim Robbins never got out of 'Nam alive)
    21.  Twilight Zone The Movie (The alien on the plane was real and no hallucination)
    22.  Shrek Forever After (Shrek accidentally killed Donkey's father before the film series started and their adventures have been a way of distracting him from discovering this out)
    23.  Malcolm X (white people win)
    24.  Vanilla Sky (It was all a dream)
    25.  Planet of the Apes (Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it.   You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!)
    26.  Mulholland Drive (Did anyone understand what the hell was happening in that movie)
    27.  From Dusk Till Dawn (Vampires!  Vampires everywhere!
    28.  Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Cameron actually had a brain tumor and Ferris was dying of AIDs)
    29.  Soylent Green (It's made of people)
    30.  Ocean's Eleven remake and subsequent sequels (everything)
    31.  Marley and Me (The dog dies and while the family is standing over the grave mourning, a zombie dog digs his way free and terrorizes the family)
    32.  The Truman Show (He used a fucking boat to escape a TV show)
    33.  Syriana (Car goes boom)
    34.  Reservoir Dogs (everything)
    35.  Titanic (The boat sinks)
    36.  A Walk to Remember (A kid with cancer dies in a movie)
    37.  Glengary Glen Ross (The old guy broke into the office)
    38.  Unbreakable (Samuel L. Jackson is committing terrorism in order to find a superhero to fight him)
    39.  Scooby Doo: The Movie (Scrappy Doo is actually the head of the island and plotting against Mystery Inc.)
    40.  The Others (the main characters are ghosts being haunted by the living)
    41.  Murder by Death (    There was no murder, it was all a ruse to expose the famous detectives as incompetent ninnies.)
    42.  The Blair Witch Project (It wasn't a witch, it was a bear)
    43.  Mrs. Doubtfire (The father is actually Mrs. Doubtfire and the stepfather is James Bond)
    44.  12 Monkeys (Nothing gets solved and mankind is doomed)
    45.  The Machinist (Insomnia caused by guilt)
    46.  2001: A Space Oddessy (Aliens choose to reproduce in man's image)
    47.  Shaun of the Dead (Zombies make good friends)
    48.  Snakes on a Plane (There were snakes on a plane)
    49.  A Fistful Dollars (He is wear a steel chest plate under his clothes)
    50.  No Way Out (Tom is Yuri)
    51.  Primal Fear (Aaron is Roy and he did it)
    52.  Dogville (The mobster is her father and he killed everyone per her request)
    53.  Basic (the characters aren't dead making a Rashomon effect)
    54.  The Number 23 (Jim Carrey wrote the book)
    55.  The Departed (Mark Wahlberg is waiting with a gun)
    56.  Gone Baby Gone (The kidnapping was faked and the child is being raised by Morgan Freeman)
    57.  The Orphange (The mother trapped the kid inside the cellar)
    58.  Les Diaboliques (The mistress is alive and her rising from the dead was intended to scare the wife to death)
    59.  Angel Heart (He made a deal with the devil and is responsible for most of what happened)
    60.  High Tension (Split personalities)
    61.  American Psycho (I don't know for sure but I think it's all in his head)
    62.  The Mist (The mist clears and the army rescues him after he kills his son)
    63.  Chinatown (The inspiration for so many Law and Order SVU episodes, she is having sex with her dad)
    64.  The Descent (The European version is superior to the American version by the way, everything in the cave)
    65.  Donnie Darko (Is he Jesus?)

    Some of the worst
    1.  Running Scared (Paul Walker was a undercover cop all the time)
    2.      Signs (the aliens are scared of water)
    3.  Identity (The characters turn out to be fictional but the movie continues following them for another 30 minutes though they are not real)
    4.      Stay (Near-death experience all the time)
    5.      Hide and Seek (Robert De Niro is Charlie)
    6.  The Game (He tries to kill himself but he lands on a giant balloon)
    7.  Secret Window (Johnny Depp is John Shooter)
    8.  The Forgotten (The child is abducted by aliens)
    9.  Perfect Stranger (Halle Berry is the killer)
    10.  The Life of David Gale (Kevin Spacey framed himself for his friend's murder in order to prove that the death penalty doesn't work)

    Don't blame me if I spoiled something for you.  I gave you fair warning.

    Quite easily the worst call in the history of MLB.  I can't believe I was up last night watching that.

    But I love the ass.

    Yeah...total coincidence.

    Well I guess white people had a good run.