I went out fishing this evening.  It was so relaxing.  Because of the heat, I haven't had the desire to go out and sit in the blazing sun.  I loved watching a thunderstorm roll in through a valley across from the lake.  Sadly, we didn't get any rain.  After that I drove by this tractor pull going on in town.  I couldn't believe how many people were there...thousands.  I then went to the bar because a bartender told me that tonight was his last night so I had to go out and have one last drink.  I get home and I'm beat and as I walk into my living room I see one of my cats poke her head out from my couch.  In the time I was gone tonight they clawed a hole into the arm of my couch and must have messed around inside because I can't find their collars unless someone broke into my house and took my cats' collars.  They also clawed up a roll of toilet paper in my downstairs bathroom and my upstairs bathroom.  Maybe it's time to trade them in for newer models.  Looks like tomorrow I start couch shopping.  Oh well, coming back to Xanga really showed me some things.  I think I may do a purge and with everyone I delete I will block...maybe I got too much sun.  It's weird because I was fishing on a floating pier and sitting here at my computer I can feel my body bobbing like what it was on that pier.  That can't be normal.  Round-up

Here we see Vanessa Hudgens(right) with her 15 year old sister Stella.  If you were their father would you lock them up until they were 25 or do you get a conceal and carry permit and follow them around wherever they go?

I think Alan Greenspan had better watch out because Snooki will soon replace him as being the most knowledgeable person when it comes to the economy.  The Wall Street Journal recently asked Snooki about her thoughts on the economy.  WHY?  WHAT DOES THIS ORANGE BEAST'S OPINIONS ON THE ECONOMY MATTER?  Wait, maybe WSJ is trying to get kids interested in all things Wall Street.  I guess that's fitting since most teenagers who idolize Snooki ask their parents for monetary handouts just like Wall Street.  Anyway here's what Snooki had to say: "The economy is really scary because 2012 is coming. I feel like the first thing that’s going to happen… is a blackout and then everyone freaks out and the world goes crazy. So hopefully, Obama will take care [of the economy] before 2012."  Too bad she's not old enough, the GOP should get her to run because she probably has more credibility than the field of current candidates.  Watch out, Geitner, Snooki is coming for your job.

Sinead O'Connor finally came out of hiding.  Actually I don't know if she was hiding but she was definitely out of the spotlight for YEARS.  I think the last time I saw her was 1997 movie The Butcher Boy.  Maybe she is hiding because the Vatican assassins are still after her.  She gave a performance in Ireland this week.  Wow, she sure has changed.  She looks like that goth girl in my class who grew up to be a librarian.  I guess she had to give a performance because she can't afford shirts that cover her entire body.

Sam Ronson has finally said goodbye to Lindsay Lohan.  She was spotted at a tattoo parlor where she was discussing ideas to cover up the tattoo she got to commemorate her relationship with Lindsay on her hand.  Poor Lindsay!  She can't a career or a woman.  I'm thinking the reason why Sam is getting her hand tattoo covered up is because her current girlfriend doesn't want to be reminded of Lindsay every time they have sex. 

Speaking of Lindsay, she was caught by a paparazzo buying drugs.  Her mom claims that Lindsay was simply out buying crystals so she can use them for meditation.  Why does she need to buy them on a street corner and why are they in a small plastic bag?  I think it probably was crystal something or other.  It probably could be worse.  She could be out buying nuclear grade uranium or weaponized smallpox or people's personal information from Facebook which she in turn sells to telemarketers and spammers.

Lindsay Lohan's 17 year old sister, Ali, was recently signed by a talent agency for modeling.  An agency called NEXT issued this press release: "We are very excited to be representing Aliana Lohan. She represents the future face of fashion and will be a photographer's dream with her chameleon-like beauty.  In fashion, Ali will set herself apart as a bona fide icon.  One that fashion fans will follow not because of her famous last name, but because of the beautiful images and fashion trends she is helping create."  The future face of fashion?  Chameleon-like beauty?  Bona fide icon?  What the hell are they smoking?  Maybe that shit Lindsay was buying was slipped into the water supply of NEXT's offices.  And remember, that's Ali Lohan in the photo and not Gargamel from the recent Smurfs movie.  How much acid does NEXT think we'll take before we look at an Ali Lohan ad campaign?  Will NEXT send the acid to us or do we have to buy it?  I hear Lindsay has a few connections.  Is Ali modeling masks?  I have so many other questions because this is unbelievable.

I don't know why but this photo of Ryan Gosling feeding that baby is terrifying.  The baby is an actor in one of Ryan's upcoming movies so don't worry, he didn't buy it at some sort of hipster swapmeet...just look at that intensity.

Rebecca Black claimed that she is now homeschooled because of alleged bullying.  She explained how she was bullied: ""When I walk by they'll start singing 'Friday' in a really nasally voice ... Or, you know, they'll be like, 'Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?'"  Wait, that's bullying?  Those bullies are straight out of Disney channel.  Of course everything is bullying these days.  When I was teaching I remember a parent claimed that her son was being bullied because he got picked last for football.  She wouldn't listen to me when I said her son was uncoordinated and couldn't run or play at most of the other kid's level.  She also said he was bullied because one of the other kids in the classroom didn't talk to him.  She probably said I bullied him because I didn't give him As on all his assignments or because I didn't seat him in the back of the classroom.  What the fuck is wrong with people?  I guess she will miss out on the experience of high school but she can live it when she reads the comments on her music videos.  Seriously, did anyone on her end think of the reaction to her video?  They certainly couldn't have thought that everyone would love it. 

Reggie Bush is apparently not over Kim Kardashian and doesn't care that she's set to be married to Kris Humphries soon.  He has been texting her non-stop in the past few weeks.  Instead of texting, Reggie should be a man and go talk to her face to face at her wedding.  You know that part when the minister says, "If anyone objects speak now or hold your peace"?  Well there's where Reggie steps up and starts talking.  He's an NFL player.  It's not like anything can stop him.  Wait...I take that back, it's not like anything besides every defense in the NFL, the Heisman Trophy Trust committee, and Khloe Kardashian can stop him.  Shit...I hope people from E! aren't reading this.  They would definitely have a good plot twist for their "reality" show.  Well it's not like anyone is reading this so...yeah.

This is Kim Kardashian's 15 year old half sister Kendall Jenner.  She is friends with Justin Bieber, who was trying to set her up with his friend via Twitter.  Here's what Bieber tweeted: "Hey @Kendalljenner you should let my boy @iamjulkeyz take you on a date"  Here's how Kendall replied: "Only if you & @selenagomez join! #DoubleDate".  Just like a Kardashian.  Those attention whores only do something as long as there is something in it for them, namely publicity.  He could have asked her to go out on a date with a rock and she would have agreed as long as he and Selena Gomez came because the paparazzi follows them around and Kardashians have to be in front of the cameras even though they are famous for nothing.  If Kendall keeps this up, in a few years she'll be a bigger narcissist than any of her sisters.

Kate Gosslein told a magazine that she is ready to date again.  She said that having 8 kids makes it nearly impossible for her to date or find the right guy.  I'd say, any guy that would date her would have to be lobotomized, blind, and deaf...in other words, anyone serving in Congress.  More than likely Kate is just being tactful when she says "date".  She probably just wants to get laid but she's going to have to learn that she will have to pay for it like the rest of us regular folks.

People are saying that the reason why Jesse James and Kat Von D broke off their engagement is because he accused her of cheating on him.  Serves him right.  Anyway, one of Kat's former husbands told people that she has screwed over her friends by stealing their men and screwed over him by screwing anything with a dick and pulse.  Jesse thought that Kat was cheating on him with Bam Margera.  Given his relationship with Sandra Bullock, Jesse James being pissed off that she's cheating is laughable.  The reason why Jesse blew up is that people told him that after Ryan Dunn died, Bam showed up at Kat's house in L.A. and spent the night.  That is weird because you'd think that a couple who is engaged would be together.  No, Jesse lives in Texas and Kat is in L.A.  Also they were at a Soundgarden concert this summer and Jesse wanted to go backstage but Kat refused and someone whispered to Jesse the reason was was that Kat had slept with a few of the guys in the band.  Kat is sleeping with everybody.  Even though she comes off as a psycho who is hell bent on catching the clap, I say we give her a slow clap...the applause not the disease...because she made Jesse James hurt.

Kanye West has said a lot of shit but nothing tops what he said last weekend at a music festival in England.  He had this to say: "I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I'm fucking insane, like I'm Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did."  I think that is the opening paragraph of Kayne's new autobiography tentatively titled "Mein Cunt".  He then went on to say: "Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It's so much fucking going on in music right now and somebody has to make a fucking difference."  Historians take note, this is the first time any one person has compared themself to Hitler and Michael Jordan.  Kanye's magic mirror must be broken because it told him that he's like Hitler instead of telling him how to dress and questioning whether or not people still wear argyle sweaters with fur coats. 

If you are a lady and find yourself near Jeremy Irons, don't be surprised when he puts his hand on your butt.  He told a British radio station that women are too quick to say sexual harassment when a man puts his hand on their butts.  "It's gone too far. There are too many people in power with too little to do, so they churn out laws to justify their jobs.  I hope it's a rash that will wear itself out. If a man puts his hand on a woman's bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It's communication. Can't we be friendly?"  YES!  Politcal correctness has gone way too far!  God gave men hands to shake hands with other men to close business deals and to fix cars and play sports.  God gave women hands to cook, clean, change diapers and work that stripper pole.  Maybe Jeremy just likes to say "Hi" with his hands on women's butts.  I know I like to raise my hand in that fashion when I see people.  I can't help it; I'm German.  (Seriously does anyone read this because I consider that right there to be comedy gold) Ladies, let Jeremy say hi to you with a hand on your butt but then you say hi to his groin with your knee and maybe a little mace. 

This is Jani Lane, the former lead singer of the band Warrant.  Jani passed away today at the age of 47.  No cause of death has been released but people are saying that it may be complications from his long term battle with alcoholism.  He will be missed and you can remember him by watching this video, maybe the greatest contribution by Warrant to the music industry.

Hulk Hogan had a busy week.  First he turned 58 and then he went to an unveiling of his daughter Brooke's new ad for PETA.  That was busy because he had to act really creepy while at the event.  I'm sorry but that is his daughter.  Sometimes you just can't tell.  A photographer asked Hulk to take a photo with the ad and Hogan replied, "If you incest...I mean insist."  Maybe the Hulkster just likes it because he spent quite a lot of time inside a cage.  Hulk tried covering up the photo and said that if people wanted to see Brooke naked that they'd have to pay just like he did with her mother.  Hulk did tell people after he posed by himself with the ad that they are softer in real life.  So awkward.

Here's the actual ad.  Not bad.

George Lopez had his late night talk show canceled this week and his last show was this past Thursday as if any of you noticed.  Did you miss it?  I did as did most of America.  Lopez of course played the race card and said the reason the show was canceled was because he is Latino.  The only reason why his show was canceled is because being a late night talkshow host isn't in his DNA.  Sure he can be funny but he's not talkshow funny.  If there was any justice in the world, Leno would be canceled next. 

Singer Gavin DeGraw was in NYC this week walking the streets late at night when he was mugged by a group of people.  He then stumbled around for 13 blocks and was hit by a taxi while trying to cross a street.  He is currently in the hospital recovering.  He claims he wasn't robbed by the group who mugged him.  Maybe they didn't like newsboy hats or pop rock blue eyed soul.

Remember that 51 year old guy named Doug Hutchinson who married a 16 year old aspiring country star named Courtney Stodden?  Well they are trying to remain relevant but they are doing a poor job of it.  Gawker got a hold of an email exchange between Doug and a radio producer.  This is perfect for Courtney because she wants to be a country star and Doug probably doesn't want to come off as a pedophile so they could share their story with the world and she could pimp her music out on the airwaves.  The only problem is they want money.  I'm not going to print out all the emails but trust me they are funny.  Basically they said they wanted $3million to do an 8 to 9 minute interview and when the radio producer said that he didn't think he could afford that, Doug replied, "Too bad."  Of course once these emails went public, Doug claims his email account was hacked.  Man if the whole creeping out the world gig doesn't pan out they should become negotiators. 

Wow, Danny DeVito has started to embrace the silver and dye his hair at the same time.  I don't get why someone would dye their half their hair.  Wait, I know why he's doing this.  He's sick and tired of being mistaken for Snooki.

Bewitched is being remade once again.  This time it is for TV and CBS has ordered scripts be made.  No word yet as to who will be starring in that mess.  Bewitched doesn't need to be remade.  They need to bring back Small Wonder or Battle of the Network Stars or Wonder Woman...oops.  All I can remember from Bewitched was that the witch would twitch her nose like a coke addict.  Why must networks and movie studios feel it's necessary to mess with originals?

Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg's new movie, 30 Minutes or Less, is offensive to a particular group of people.  The group is the family and friends of a man who was killed under similar circumstances.  Back in 2003, a man named Brian Wells who was a pizza delivery man was forced to put a bomb around his neck and told to rob a bank.  He was killed in the process.  He claimed that he was kidnapped and forced to rob a bank in Pennsylvania.  Cops arrested him but backed away when they realized the bomb was real.  Federal prosecutors have said that Wells was in on the plot but thought that a fake bomb was going to be used.  Producers of the film claim they didn't know about this event.  Can I get a "yeah right"?  It's a tragedy but look at it this way, this may be the first ever buddy comedy with a white guy and an Indian.  This is great.  This is progress.  This is original!  I saw a red band trailer and that sold me.  I want to see it.  Last Friday, Aziz gave an impromptu comedy routine and had the audience ask him questions.  A woman got up and asked, "Why don't you have a red dot on your forehead?"  Ansari replied, "Why don't you have the word cunt tattooed on your forehead?"  He then went on to talk about how bad it was that there was still racism in the world.  He should just start a Xanga account.  The sad thing is that this ignorant fuck wasn't sitting in front of computer on Xanga but was out in public at a comedy club.  And these people are amongst us.

Arnold Scwarzenegger was spotted by TMZ wearing a shirt that had "I Survived Maria" printed on the back with the dates 2007-2010.  He then tactfully crossed out the 2007 and wrote in Sharpie 1997 which makes no sense since they were married in 1986.  Apparently people are saying that their divorce proceedings are very nasty and Arnold thinks he's going to get out of having to pay her a dime.  I hope this shirt costs him.

An insider on the new Batman movie said that the Catwoman character, played by Anne Hathaway, will be an abused  pickpocket and stripper.  My experience working in a strip club makes me say...so?  It seemed like a common occurrence to hear a guy complain about a girl stealing his wallet and then when confronted with it she would start crying and talk about how someone in her family abused her.  Anyway, this should be good because they are saying that her character will have the most development and she will supposedly make Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker look like a high school drama performance.  My only question is how does that outfit and vehicle have anything to do with her being Catwoman?

Alex Trebek put his gameshow career in Jeopardy...see what I did there?  Comedy gold, I tell you and people don't read it.  A few weeks ago I posted a story about how Trebek injured himself while chasing down a person he said stole from him.  The woman, Lucinda Moyers, claims she was in the hotel working as a prostitute and that she was on the same floor as Alex peddling her "goods".  Her lawyer claims Trebek's story doesn't add up because he has changed it from seeing her in the hallway to seeing her in his room.  I think Alex tried to buy a hooker off Craiglust (typo stays) and wasn't pleased with the person who showed up and he got in an argument and she was going to get paid one way or another.  If this story was a Daily Double, I would make it a true Daily Double in betting that he was buying a hooker.  And now Alex has learned that if you buy anything off Craigslust you do meet your purchase at a Starbucks in bright daylight so that way you know what you're getting yourself into and you can have witnesses see you.  It's too bad Lucinda faces a minimum sentence of 25 years because of the Three Strikes penalty in California.  I think she's won this round of Jeopardy because she respected the first rule of shenanigans: do not kiss and tell.

Looks like the paparazzi caught AnnaLynne McCord at an inappropriate moment after she and her boyfriend The Incredible Hulk finished a tender embrace.

This week while in concert Britney Spears jumped up on Pauly D's neck and started humping that mess.  I bet it sounded like a rubber spatula slapping a bowl of pudding.  I bet someone got a yeast infection.

Video Section:
The new Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, had more footage released this week.  Maybe this is all a ruse and they aren't going to use any of the stuff that has been leaked and it's all to fool us into thinking this will be serious and then we go see the movie in the theaters and it turns out to be a campy movie like the last ones and the TV show. 

I just realized that one of my cousins turns 7 today.  He had a big 6th year on this planet.  Ummm let's see he started school and he was finally potty trained.  Way to go!
Have a great weekend.  I love how when I posted the Twitter messages that Xanga recognized those names as Xangans and not Twitter accounts.  Anyway, I'm done being emo here, time to block people.  Oh and I was going through Xanga ideas and people were clamoring for an -ish site devoted to gaming.  Remember The Hardest Level?