I started doing this a few years back.  I never made New Year's resolutions before because I realized that I would eventually break them and that I should just save my breath and energy.  Lately as I have matured I think they are nice to make.  I also like to make predictions because I figure that I can do just as well as some of the major psychics.  Years back, I remember visiting my parents for the holidays and they were infatuated with this medium named Sylvia Brown.  The only thing that I found remarkable about her was her voice which had turned awful manly after years of smoking.  She also made appearances at the local casino to "talk with the dead".  Well on a year-end Montel Williams show special she made her predictions.  She said the Pope John Paul would die and would be succeed by a black man from Africa.  The funny thing was I think the pope lived another 5 years after her prediction failed to come true.  She also predicted that there would be a cure for diabetes and that John Travolta would die in a plane crash.  Man, I wish those would have come true.  Yes, I don't like John Travolta and had his plane crashed we would not have been subjected to Wild Hogs and Battlefield Earth.  Later on I found a website that said of all her predictions, that her best year she was accurate 10% of the time.  Well my gambling instinct took over and I figured that I could make predictions and be just as accurate.

Let's begin by reviewing what I said about 2011.  My current thoughts are in parentheses.
My Resolutions for 2011
1.  I am going to be a better person in my mind. (This one is debatable.  There are times when I think I've been better but then there are other times when I think I'm rotten.  I usually argue with myself over this one.)
2.  I am going to do volunteer work (I do a lot of volunteer work with my church in teaching classes.  I've also did courier runs for the hospital)
3.  I am going to brew my own beer, wine, or cider (This is one I was intending on doing with all the apples I harvested this year but I didn't realize how much presses cost.)
4.  I am going to make some drastic moves with the stock market (I did make some money but nothing drastic.  I think my biggest move was for my church in getting out of some capital growth funds because they aren't making anything and they lost thousands of dollars this past year.)
5.  I am going to get credits in a movie, tv series, or in a book. (This one didn't happen and I blame a family member for not following through on promises.)
6.  I am going to win the battle of the bulge and by bulge...wink wink nudge nudge (Oh yes, many a battle with old one eye was won)
7.  I am going to enjoy life (This is another one of those ones I'm up in the air about.  Don't think I'm going to end it all.  I've just had a lot of issues with being alone.)
8.  I am going to be able to tell someone I love them (When George Culver died I wept and said I loved him but I don't think that counts.)
9.  I am going to resume regularly playing piano and guitar (I followed through with half of this and played piano.  I didn't get any better.)
10.  I will use my foreign language knowledge for good.  (I didn't really learn any new languages but I did use my German to converse with many Amish and haggled prices over produce.)

Now my predictions for 2011...these scared me.
1.  Oil prices will continue to rise and gas will eventually hit $5 a gallon.  This will lead to open rebellion in many states and numerous attempts on the president's life as well as the lives of his daughters. (Well gas prices really did shoot up.  Do we say the Occupy Movement counts as open rebellion?  OK, I'll allow it.  As for the attempts on the president's life, well there was one that we know of)
2.  The economy will get no better nor no worse (I think this one is true.  Everyone keeps saying that the economy is about to turn around but it doesn't happen)
3.  American people will wake up once Obama-care is repealed and demand that our tax dollars no longer be sent to Iraq and Afghanistan so they can have universal health insurance paid for with our tax dollars. (So Obama-care didn't get repealed and no one really woke up to the idea but we are out of Iraq...OK doesn't count)
4.  I will become disinterested in a human interest story. (Check...Casey Anthony...I really could care less what becomes of her and any court decision didn't affect me personally.  A pro-choice person told me that the girl who was killed may have went on to cure cancer. I find that laughable because how many potential cures could've happened if there wasn't abortion?)
5.  Xanga will lose the chat feature because meebo will go belly-up.   (This one sort of creeped me out because Xanga went through that long stretch without Chat.  I call this true even though Meebo didn't fold, they just didn't want to support chat)
6.  With the popularity of wikileaks, the American news media will begin releasing sensitive documents in efforts to gain viewers. (I won't count this but FOX and MSNBC are always trying to scoop each other and it was hilarious how FOX had Bin Laden's death revealed at least an hour before anyone else reported it.)
7.  D.B. Cooper will be solved (I won't count this one but there was a big story that came out that the FBI had new information and were closing in on solving the case.)
8.  Jim Morrison, Tupac, Elvis, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin will come out of retirement and form a super group but Rolling Stone will pan their album. (I wish this one would've happened)
9.  Relations with Cuba will be normalized and President Obama will have a photo session with Fidel Castro. (I sort of hoped this one would've happened because if it did that would mean I would start smoking again.)
10.  An insider in the UFC will reveal that it is as fixed as the WWE. (There was part of me that thought it was fixed when Brock Lesnar retired so suddenly after his match but I guess he had that decided going in if he lost.)
11.  That Vatican will move back to France after a molestation scandal in Italy forces them to flee in the middle of the night or because of volcanic activity. (Italy's prime minister had to quit because of sexual misconduct?)
12.  Joe Biden will not finish the year as vice president and Hilary Clinton will take his place. (Nope)
13.  A military coup will transpire in North Korea and it will seriously fuck up the world. (Hmmm Kim Jong Il died under suspicious circumstances.  His death has put that part of the world on alert because no one knows his son.  By the power of psychics, I'm claiming this one.)
14.  The music industry will collapse because album sales will plummet mostly because there isn't any good material.  (I'm counting this one because there isn't any good material)
15.  There will be numerous natural disasters. (Tornadoes...earthquakes...tsunami...oh my)
16.  Brett Favre will not be in a Vikings or Packers uniform (He didn't play so this one is true...he didn't wear a Vikings uniform or a Packers uniform this season)
17.  The Situation will replace Jay Leno as host of the Tonight Show. (Not even close, I think The Situation has used 14 of his 15 minutes of fame.)
18.  With the popularity of the Facebook movie and the decline of Xanga, Xanga will make a movie about itself.  I will be played by Kevin Smith. (Well Kevin Smith and I are in negotiations...sorry, didn't happen)
19.  Tiger Woods will start winning again, in fact he will win every major.  He will be pressed for his secret.  Eventually he will reveal that he is engaged to Snooki and she has been giving him pointers to improve his game. (Tiger Woods did win his first event in a long time although Snooki didn't help him...half true)
20.  The wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton will overshadow the death of a former U.S. president.  The only way we will find out is on the bottom-line of the major news agencies. (OK I'm using this one as a half truth because the wedding of Prince William overshadowed EVERYTHING)
21.  A celebrity will lose their life in a tragic way.  (Amy Winehouse...Patrice O'Neal...Heavy D...Mickey Welsh...Andy Whitfield...Jani Lane...Ryan Dunn...Jeff Conaway...Randy Savage...Mia Amber Davis...Nate Dogg...Mike Starr)
22.  A major sports star will come out of the closet and it will cause unrest in pro sports. (This didn't happen.  I still think this would cause unrest.  I friend told me I should count it because Jerry Sandusky admitted to being sexually attracted to little boys...not going there.)
23.  A major news station will quit broadcasting to focus primarily on bringing news to mobile devices (Didn't happen although I'm somewhat surprised)
24.  Bill Murray will win an Oscar because he's Bill Fucking Murray (This should've happened but alas it didn't)
25.  The Tea Party will become more annoying because they will start taking themselves seriously. (I'm counting this one as happening because they have basically been trying to play God with the Iowa caucuses.)

11 out of 25 is 44%...that's sort of creepy.  I should start my own psychic hotline.

Now for 2012

2012 Resolutions
1.  1280 X 960
2.  I will be a better person
3.  Tell people how I feel
4.  Jump on the “let’s kill all dictators and terrorists” bandwagon. I plan on killing at least one dictator even if it’s just a mid-level oppressive despot.
5.  I think I’ll lose some weight…by sawing off my conjoined twin
6.  I’m going to take up a new hobby.  Last year I did more fishing so this year I may take up fly fishing, ice fishing, knitting, or sexual mind-control.
7.  Fight off a gang of three attackers but they don’t necessarily have to attack all at once.  Like I could attack them all throughout the entire year at different times.
8.  Tell everyone about a food item or movie that is really awesome but I secretly hate and then laugh at their angry emails and texts.
9.  Set something big on fire.
10.  Donate to the needy guy invading my home.
11.  Not judge a woman by how big her breasts are but just how she reacts when she catches me sniffingher hair.
12.  I am going to be a better person in my mind.
13.  I am going to do volunteer work
14.  I am going to brew my own beer, wine, or cider
15.  I am going to enjoy life

2012 Predictions
1.  A major earthquake will hit somewhere within the U.S. and it will be so massive that new land from the ocean will be reclaimed and many people will consider this to be Atlantis.
2.  A murder investigation about Kurt Cobain will be opened
3.  Fidel Castro will die
4.  Kim Jong Un will be assassinated and this will set off a new war and it will lead to a united Korea.
5.  Due to droughts in the west and south, water will become scarce and there will be fights over water
6.  A major breakthrough will be made in the Zodiac killings and the case may be solved
7.  There will be a showdown between the U.S. and China much like the Cuban Missile Crisis and we will enter a new Cold War and this will boost the American economy.
8.  O.J. Simpson will admit he killed his wife and Ron Goldman in exchange for release from prison.
9.  Joe Biden will not be Obama’s vice presidential candidate
10.  Penn State will have a horrible football season and they will consider disbanding the program and this will cause Joe Paterno to die.
11.  President Obama will be re-elected due to a split in the Republican party.  Mitt Romney will win the nomination however the evangelical Christian portion of the GOP will not tolerate this due to Romney’s Mormon belief so they will run a third party candidate.
12.  The 2012 election results will be significantly delayed because it will be too close to call.
13.  Romney will choose David Petraeus or some other former military man as his running mate.
14.  The Book of Mormon will become a widely read book.
15.  Viruses will bring down every Apple device in the world.
16.  The world will not end in December of 2012 but people will go mad as the predicted day looms because of rising unemployment, lower wages,and lower standards of living.
17.  Microsoft will be company of the year after they buy Nokia and introduce a new smartphone that will make the iPhone look like a Speak and Spell.
18.  Iran will continue to do crazy shit.
19.  Oil prices will drop significantly.
20.  Arab Spring will return and this one will be worse and of course the U.S.will become involved and it will lead to a Palestinian state. 
21.  Iraq will become the U.S. of the Middle East when they intervene in Syria.
22.  Marijuana will be legalized
23.  The European Union will fall apart and the U.S. will intervene
24.  The economy will not improve.
25.  People at FOX News will complain about NPR
26.  Oprah and Gayle will come out of the closet and announce they were married in Iowa
27.  Donald Trump will divorce his wife and Rosey O’Donnell will break up with her girlfriend so they can be together.
28.  Xanga will finally drop chat and introduce games
29.  Xanga will offer more social sharing and become a clone of Pinterest, Tumblr, and Instagram
30.  Xanga will see high numbers of posts leading up to the election and then the numbers will drop significantly after November
31.  Because people want to legislate bullying and acceptance,Xanga will become a test ground for a new social emotional learning curriculum
32.  The U.S. Supreme Court will begin hearings on Prop 8.
33.  Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin will become the first openly gay U.S. Senator.
34.  Greece and Italy will be taken over by fascist leaders and they will implement big changes andthe new scapegoats will be the Muslims but they’ll also blame the Jews.
35.  Despite spending a record amount of money in free agency,the Florida Miami Marlins won’t make the playoffs.
36.  A celebrity will lose their life in a tragic way.
37.  A major sports pro-athlete will come out of the closet and will lead to unrest in the sports world.
38.  There will be numerous natural disasters and in most instances the Mayan calendar will be discussed
39.  I will become disinterested in a human interest story.
40.  Contact will be made with another planet.

So those are my predictions.  I know they might be vague but look at Nostradamus.  He was vague as hell and people consider him to be the best.  I saw a guy last night explain how the name Mabus could have been Nostradamus predicting Osama, Sadam, W. Bush, and Obama.

I have thought of becoming a pessimist in the year 2012 but I won't because I figure it won't work.

And if I haven't wished you a happy new year yet...


Have a happy new year